FLD Ch 1

A stage is not built overnight. The dazzling spotlights, crisp sound, stable equipment, and the artists’ efforts all come together to form a comprehensive art—the stage performance—which is brought to life through the hands of countless people. The same was true of this site, where preparations were in full swing behind the temporary wall.

“If you have something to say, say it now. We have to do the lift standby check soon, so there’s no time.”

I tried my best not to show my impatience as I looked beyond the wall. There were about twenty minutes left until the start. Every other team member except me and the guy standing in front of me was already waiting to go up on the lift behind the lowered curtain.

There was no more time to waste. When I let out a short sigh and looked at him, he flinched, clearly aware of my gaze, and turned his head away. What on earth was he trying to say? My heart began to pound with unease.

The stage about to begin was the third mission— the position battle—of Pick Adorable, an idol audition program that was dominating the buzz at the moment. From this performance onward, once again, the line between elimination and survival would be drawn.

‘This really isn’t the time for this… now of all times.’

This was a precious, golden time—the last chance to check whether the others had finished their standby checks, whether they were too nervous before such a big stage, whether anyone might forget lyrics or miss their marks. I couldn’t afford to waste it like this. When I glared at him as if to tell him to stop stalling and just talk, he hesitated again—and our words overlapped.

“If it’s not urgent, then later—”

“I, uh, I was thinking—”

“What?”

“Ah—no, I’ll say it now!”

At the tangled exchange, I frowned without thinking. He grew restless, squeezed his eyes shut, and blurted out, “Well, um… going forward… I think you might be on my mind, hyung. I don’t mean anything bad by it—really! It’s just that… I don’t mean I want to do anything or anything like that…”

I couldn’t understand a word of what he was saying. On his mind? Well, that much was obvious. Early in the broadcast, because of a misunderstanding, he used to recoil even if I came near him. These days, though, he followed me around everywhere. Anyone could tell something had changed. I’d just assumed he thought I might be someone useful to him. I had no idea why he was making such a big deal out of it and dragging this out. I replied calmly, “So what do you want me to do about it?”

At my sharp response, he flinched again, avoided my gaze, and muttered, “I’m not good at hiding things like this… I was worried you might think I’m weird….”

Was that really what mattered right now? Dumbfounded, I furrowed my brow. I wanted to snap at him to save that kind of talk for after everything was over, but he was standing on the brink of an incredibly important stage. Letting him go onstage distracted and cause an accident would be worse. Swallowing my irritation, I spoke, “I know you felt bad about being rude to me at first. But I’ve already forgotten about it, so you don’t need to worry anymore. How many more times do you think you and I are even going to clash? Just do well on today’s stage.”

That should have been kind enough. Feeling mildly satisfied, I looked up at him—only to see him tilt his head, looking confused. Then, out of nowhere, he said something I never expected.

“No, that’s not it….”

“Then what?”

“I’m sorry, hyung, but… when you were working in the living room, I saw your laptop.”

“What?”

What was he talking about now? My mind went completely blank. Saw what? What did he see…? My laptop? I was so shocked I couldn’t say anything, and he drove the nail in further.

“It was you. DearMyWorld and Sejjitgae.”

At the same time, it felt like the world collapsed with a heavy thud, my heart dropping straight through the floor.

“W-What are you talking about….”

Deny it. Just deny it—no matter what excuse I had to make. When I hurriedly rejected it, he immediately shot back, “I saw everything. You replaying my videos over and over while you worked, the account being logged in. I’m really sorry I looked without permission, but I was so shocked too….”

“…”

When? How much did he see? My head was completely empty. I was screwed. Completely screwed. What do I do? How far did he see? I froze in panic, unable to speak, and he hurried to calm me down.

“At first I was really surprised, but… when I thought about it… I was happy. The person I’d wanted to meet so badly had been watching me right beside me. Me coming here… I only managed to try because you were cheering for me. I wanted to show you first that I’m really working hard.”

Every single sentence was so embarrassing that it made it hard to breathe. S-Stop talking! I wanted to cover his mouth, but my body wouldn’t move.

“I’ve been grateful this whole time. It made me happy knowing there was someone cheering for me that hard. And the fact that it was you… surprised me… but I liked it.”

Had he really seen everything? From tagging along to events that weren’t even that many, to stirring up every kind of attention in communities just to get his face known, to running a fan account with barely any followers all by myself, playing both sides of the drum—everything? And on top of that, even how I’d deliberately treated him more coldly than necessary, just in case it might show? All of it? Or even more than that?

While he stood there, too shocked to do anything but open and close his mouth repeatedly, the guy spoke again.

“You even came on the audition because of me….”

I needed to find out how much he actually knew. Pulling myself together with difficulty, I asked, “Wait—who said I came here because of you? What nonsense are you talking about?”

He protested indignantly, “You told CEO Yoon that. You said you were sick of going on stage, that producing or directing offstage was enough for you, but that you had a reason and couldn’t help coming out.”

“No, that’s—”

I didn’t even have any intention of debuting, but they kept pestering me to come to their company, so I just said it to shake them off! But the moment he said that, it amounted to admitting that, in the end, it really had been for your sake, so no excuse followed.

In the meantime, he pressed the attack again.

“I thought it was strange. You’re not the kind of person to mess up lyrics, so why would someone who memorized even the other members’ parts make a mistake there? When I thought about it, there was only one answer. You did it to cover up my voice crack, didn’t you? You said it wasn’t, but I know. Everyone knows.”

I should have denied it. But he was already convinced, armed with his own reasoning.

“No, I—”

Just as I was about to blurt out a final, pathetic denial, he broke into a bright smile and looked straight into my eyes. Long lashes curved softly, thin but defined double eyelids framing eyes that smiled with foxlike elegance. The in-and-out line was like a masterpiece. His face was so beautiful it wiped my mind completely blank. As I stared at him like an idiot, as if bewitched, he spoke as though he’d been waiting for it.

“So… it’s true that you’re on my mind, hyung, but I’m not trying to pressure you into deciding what kind of relationship we’ll have right now. You want me to keep singing on stage, right? Then my goal is to sing together with you. That’s the one thing I wanted to make clear.”

Then, with his familiar sulky smile, he added, “If I do well today, you’ll look at me even more kindly, right? I’ll really do my best today!”

At that moment, a staff member came running from behind the wall and shouted at us, “You really need to move now. Please come quickly!”

“Ah, yes!”

As I finally started walking, unable to delay any longer, it felt like I’d been swallowed whole by a nine-tailed fox. What was this? How much did he know? Even in my confusion, my feet carried me dutifully toward the lift.

Even as I mechanically went through everything I’d prepared, his gaze never left me. He smiled at me as if he’d finally emptied everything he’d been holding in. A smile so bright it felt blinding.

At last, after a long wait, the curtain rose. The beat I had painstakingly edited and assembled with my own hands thundered through the entire audience—and I couldn’t think of anything else. I had to show the best I could do. This would be my last stage.

When the roughly five-minute performance ended, I could barely keep my head straight. Deafening cheers and applause, real-time votes skyrocketing, congratulatory messages flooding in for the winners—there wasn’t even time to breathe.

After the chaos swept through like a dream and passed, what remained was a legendary record that would last forever, even if someday we became washed-up relics of the past. Though leaks of the results were forbidden, audience reactions poured out like madness across social media and online communities. And most of them were excitedly praising how terrifyingly perfect Han Sehee’s stage had been.

Up to this point, everything had gone according to my plan. To pull someone who seemed born to be an idol up to the place he should have rightfully claimed. To make sure he didn’t give up the stage, and to prevent his life from collapsing absurdly because of some bizarre trash getting tangled up with him. But there was a variable I hadn’t anticipated. No matter how much I struggled, in the end, Han Sehee and I were still just separate people. How he would react, what unexpected actions he might take as a living, breathing person—those weren’t things I could control.

I never imagined that the very person would declare that he was going to make me debut. Next? As if there even would be a next strange. His tone sounded utterly convinced that I wouldn’t be eliminated, and it left me speechless. What was this? Why? Why…? I was so confused I couldn’t even think about what I was supposed to do next.

“You’re not cut out to be an idol. Why not try acting instead? A face like yours would do well.”

I’d heard over and over that another path would be better—so now, even if he said we should debut together…

‘…Would that even work?’

I’d barely survived the previous mission, and the debut ranks were still unimaginably far away. It was impossible. I was tired of being tortured by false hope. How long had it taken me to accept that being an idol wasn’t my path? Just hearing those words now wasn’t enough to shake me anymore. I already knew what I was best at. I’d even risen to the very top and succeeded in the industry I was certain was my path. And yet, absurdly, I couldn’t stop thinking about that possibility.

I retraced the day’s unbelievable events.

Han Sehee had found out that I was the owner of his long-time fan account, and that I’d been secretly helping him ever since joining Pick Adorable. On top of that, he’d declared he would help me debut too. Then… does that mean he still doesn’t know about that? Probably not. I’d never told anyone, and there was no record of it anywhere.

‘Ha….’

What is this mess? I came back to the past out of nowhere to save someone else’s ruined life, and this is the suffering I get? Even living the same year twice, the world was still full of things I didn’t understand.