IGWKE Episode 11

Episode 11

However, the intense energy that I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was too powerful of a stimulus to simply brush off in the barren daily life. The feeling when I surrounded that massive, terrifying gray ash-covered body with my guiding energy, afraid that it might just burn up entirely. The acrid smell that filled the air, the throat and lungs stinging from the smoke, the skin pricked by the searing heat like needles, and the pungent odor as if something toxic was burning—I can’t forget the sensation of releasing all the guiding energy I had accumulated in one burst, right at the heart of that tumultuous chaos, which seemed to eat away at life with every passing second.

A cool and exhilarating, yet intensely stimulating release of the power that had been buried inside.

Yoon-ui clenched and unclenched his hand under the blanket. Jam, jam. Like a newborn slowly recognizing that the thing attached to their body is their hand, he recalled the process of learning to draw out and release the power within his body, as if it were a completely new realization.

Is it really impossible to return to the field?

He also remembered Heon-ju’s long eyelashes staring at him from the center of that fiery hell. The eyes beneath those lashes, slowly regaining the light of life as he regained consciousness and noticed him.

Did he really feel glad to see me then? Did he really feel grateful? Was he relieved that I was there?

Yoon-ui kept thinking about Heon-ju, mulling over words he couldn’t bring himself to ask out of pride. He thought about his ashen face, as if completely burned like charcoal, his body clad in an ashen fireproof suit that seemed to have been left behind after everything else burned, the way he would laugh bashfully with one eye slightly smaller, and other things about him, not just his face. He just kept thinking about Heon-ju.

If anyone heard, they might ask if he had a crush on him, but that was absolutely not the case. He just couldn’t stop thinking about him, no matter how much he tried. Why? Because Heon-ju was constantly hovering around him.

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“Aren’t you going to training?”

When Yoon-ui entered the office late, since he was on night duty, the first thing he saw was the broad gray back sitting across from Jung-woo. It was Heon-ju’s fireproof suit. Feeling a mix of slight relief and annoyance, he gave a scolding remark to that broad back. Startled, as soon as he heard Yoon-ui’s voice, flames flared up along his spine and spread across his broad back before he even turned around.

“You’re really going to start a fire one of these days if you keep that up.”

Yoon-ui scolded Heon-ju for his still clumsy control, releasing his suppressive guiding energy. The flames clinging to Heon-ju’s back, startled by Yoon-ui’s energy, quickly fled to his face. Heon-ju, who turned around with a face as red as if an actual fire had broken out, bowed his head in greeting instead of speaking.

“Thank you.”

Even though it had been nearly a month of seeing each other almost every day, and Yoon-ui thought he had gotten quite used to him by now, he was comfortable enough to lower his tone and even pat him on the shoulder lightly. However, unlike him, Heon-ju was still so startled whenever Yoon-ui suddenly spoke to him that he would inadvertently spew flames.

If there was any consolation, it was that everyone had become immune to the sudden outbursts of fire, and people who used to scream whenever Heon-ju accidentally ignited something no longer flinched. They even prepared a chair without a backrest in advance for Heon-ju’s sake, so this gray volcano had become a part of daily life for the Talent Management Team.

“Enough. Give me your hand.”

Yoon-ui considered himself to be somewhat reserved, but Heon-ju was even more so. For someone with such a massive build to be this shy… Yoon-ui clicked his tongue and gestured for Heon-ju to come closer.

For someone who was so embarrassingly shy, he was surprisingly obedient. No sooner had Yoon-ui spoken than Heon-ju moved his chair and sat right next to him. Like a well-trained puppy, Heon-ju carefully placed his hand into Yoon-ui’s open palm.

It had almost become a routine guiding session by now. Although Yoon-ui had promised to provide guiding if Heon-ju came to him before training, technically, Yoon-ui had no obligation to provide guiding since he wasn’t on center duty.

‘Besides, I clearly said, only if I have time.’

But seeing his junior Esper suffer from chronic guiding deficiency every day even made someone as emotionally detached as Yoon-ui feel some sympathy.

He has really big hands.

Every time they held hands, Yoon-ui couldn’t help but notice how large Heon-ju was. He was tall, had big feet, and his hands were huge. His bones were thick, and when their hands overlapped, Yoon-ui’s hand was completely covered, his wrist obscured by Heon-ju’s forearm.

Maybe because his physical size was so large, it was difficult to fully charge him with guiding energy. Of course, it could also be that he leaked a lot of energy… Ah, there it goes again. Without looking, Yoon-ui could feel the warmth from Heon-ju’s body as he caught fire once more.

“You’re leaking. Tighten the faucet.”

“Yes.”

With one hand holding Heon-ju’s, Yoon-ui turned on the computer and entered his password with the other. As a small security measure, he made Heon-ju close his eyes while he typed.

While opening the window for his night shift and reading the handover notes left by the previous shift, Yoon-ui naturally channeled concentrated energy into Heon-ju through their joined hands. This level of contact guiding required no extra effort from Yoon-ui.

Jung-woo, who was sitting nearby, complained, “Ah, it’s so unfair that you only guide the S-class. Can’t you share a bit with me too?” But Yoon-ui ignored him. Although he could have done a broadcast guiding that affected all the Espers in the area, his priority was to focus on Heon-ju, who was about to head into training.

Heon-ju, aware that he was receiving special treatment, quietly waited for the guiding session to be completed.

“…This should be enough to keep you from running out of energy during today’s training.”

But since this wasn’t his primary responsibility, Yoon-ui couldn’t fully charge an S-class Esper purely out of goodwill. After sending a reasonable amount of energy while considering his own condition, Yoon-ui decisively withdrew his hand. Heon-ju lightly brushed Yoon-ui’s palm as if hoping for more, but there would be no further free service.

“I have my own work to do, so get going now.”

“Can I stay a bit longer? I don’t think the other guides have arrived at the training grounds yet.”

“Hey. Just because there’s no guide doesn’t mean you skip training, right? You’re an S-class, for crying out loud… I filled you up with guiding energy so you could train. Now go.”

“…Yes.”

Watching the large gray back leave with a dejected air, Yoon-ui couldn’t help but find it a bit endearing, like a child.

As he confirmed the door closing and turned his eyes back to the monitor, Joo-min, who was preparing to leave for the day, gave his shoulder a sharp smack.

“Why do you chase him away like that, giving him a hard time? Would it kill you to say, ‘Hey, I need to work now, so go train hard, our Heon-ju, fighting!’ and send him off nicely?”

“Ugh.”

“Oh, come on.”

Another punch landed on his sore shoulder. Rubbing the aching spot, Yoon-ui glared at her.

“Hey. I’m already anxious about my own future. Do I really have to coddle some S-class who has a bright future ahead of him? At my age?”

“It’s not coddling…. Wait, why are you anxious about your future? Don’t tell me you killed another Esper without Manager Park knowing?”

“It’s not that.”

Yoon-ui leaned back in his chair, letting the weight rest on the backrest. The ceiling was the same gray color as Heon-ju’s fireproof suit. To some, it was a comforting and safe shade of gray, but to others, it was a stifling, oppressive hue. Yoon-ui sighed.

“It’s just… I’m feeling a bit disillusioned.”

“Suddenly?”

“It’s not really sudden….”

It was rare for Yoon-ui to speak so weakly. Jung-woo and Woo-joo, who had been eavesdropping on the conversation between Yoon-ui and Joo-min, pulled their chairs over and surrounded him.

“What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“Yoon-ui, did something happen?”

“Wow, why are you all suddenly so interested?”

Yoon-ui tried to deflect the attention, feeling embarrassed, but the three of them were already fully focused on the rare vulnerable words that had come from Yoon-ui, who was usually unshakable. While he appreciated their willingness to listen, the overwhelming interest was a bit much for him. As Yoon-ui tried to discreetly back out of the situation, Woo-joo quickly checked his watch.

“We still have 30 minutes until the next shift, so let’s spend 15 minutes hearing you out, and then we can get ready.”

“It’s not something that would take 15 minutes to explain….”

Even as he said this, Yoon-ui was still human. After more than a week of brooding alone over his worries, having his colleagues show such genuine concern made it hard to keep his thoughts to himself.

In the end, the four of them stayed behind in the now-empty office, with all the administrative staff having gone home, and listened to Yoon-ui’s half-complaints, half-confessions.

“So, that’s my dilemma. ‘Do I still have a place in this organization? Am I no longer useful?'”

“And?”

“And so, I’ve been thinking over the past few days.”

As the three of them eagerly awaited his conclusion, Yoon-ui hesitantly shared his plan.

“Should I just leave the military?”

The three fell silent at this. Yoon-ui realized that his conclusion wasn’t something they were pleased to hear.

The first to break the silence was Joo-min. She spoke in an unusually serious and cautious tone.

“If you leave, what will you do?”

“Um. Maybe open a private guiding center?”

Once again, silence filled the room.

After a slightly longer pause, this time Woo-joo broke the silence, but he addressed Jung-woo instead of Yoon-ui. Pointing at Yoon-ui with a serious expression, Woo-joo said.

“Look at this, Jung-woo. This is exactly the kind of case where public servants, especially those with no experience in the civilian world, leave the military, get scammed, and end up losing all their severance pay and pension. Let this be a lesson to you.”

“I’m planning to stick it out here, slow and steady, until the end.”

“That’s the right attitude.”

“Oh, come on! I’m trying to have a serious discussion about my life plans, and you’re being way too harsh, Woo-joo.”

Yoon-ui grumbled playfully, though he had somewhat expected this reaction. He had joined the organization as soon as he entered middle school. There were no relationships in his life outside of the organization, and since becoming an adult, he had never lived among civilians.