INM 2 Part 1

Chapter 2: Alan Maxwell

As the students came into the office, I moved restlessly around the room.

I had no idea why they were here. I was surprised that they even knew about Alan and me. Whether Alan had told them or they found out by accident… I couldn’t imagine Alan actively talking about me, so it was probably the latter.

I opened two cupboards and thought for a moment before taking out a simple white teapot. It felt like it belonged in this office, a little gift I had bought for myself to celebrate the opening. I filled the Iittala Teema teapot with hot water, although I had never had a chance to use it before. I thought that if they tried to make me solve Latin problems, I would escape to the back bedroom. 

The bedroom, located in the far right corner of the entrance, is literally my sanctuary. It can be locked from both the inside and the outside, and I have always asked friends and even former lovers not to enter. No one but me has ever set foot inside. Thinking that far, I suddenly came up with a possibility. On the night of the incident, the person who accompanied me might have entered this room. 

The thought made me a little uncomfortable. 

If someone had entered my bedroom… what would they have thought of the interior? 

I shook off the lingering doubts. Despite my attachment to the interior, it was just a room with a bed, pillows, curtains, and lights. No one would think anything of it. It’s not like there are severed heads or skulls lined up.

The bell announced their arrival. Just in case, I locked the study/storage room where I kept my valuables and tossed the key into an empty canister. Taking a deep breath, I walked to the front door and carefully opened it.

There were four young people standing there, all with tense faces, which made my own face tighten in response.

“Hey, welcome. I’m Luke. Welcome to my office.”

“Uh, hi.”

“Hello.”

“Um, sorry for the sudden visit…”

They each mumbled, and the next moment there was silence. I nodded meaninglessly and then spoke cheerfully.

“Well, come on in. It gets a little chilly in the evening.”

As I urged them inside, I secretly observed the four students. One was a woman and the rest were men. The tall, model-like young lady with the sharp expression was the first to step through the door, followed by two lanky, muscular redheads. Finally, a serious-looking young man who seemed different from the other three followed. 

I led them to the sofa and placed the teapot and matching tea cups on the table. The office, with its completely uncoordinated atmosphere and attire, suddenly felt more alive than ever. 

“Again, I’m Lucas. Just to confirm, you’re not here to apply for an interior design job, are you?” 

At these words, the four of them shook their heads hastily. It was as if they thought I was going to extort outrageous amounts of money from my clients. Their panic was almost comical. 

Silence threatened again. Just when I thought I was supposed to be leading the conversation, the young man sitting at the other end of the sofa hesitantly said, “Um…”. Relieved, I looked at him and gasped.

With dark brown hair that waved gently over his tanned skin, clear blue eyes framed by thick lashes, and strong eyebrows, he was handsome, if not striking. When I had watched the four of them together, his first impression had been so subdued that he had almost been overshadowed by the other three.

The young man opened his mouth with a straight look.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Kasim.”

I think it’s an Arabic name.

“Thank you for welcoming us despite the sudden visit.”

“Well, I just happened to have some time.”

I replied, trying to maintain an air of maturity. There was something about him that couldn’t be put into words. It was probably something I missed learning as a child. If you remove the shadows from Brian during our school days, he might turn out like this.

“Well, first, please have some tea. It’s cocoa flavored.”

At these words, the young lady sitting across from Kasim lit up. She had a delicate smile. Her smooth dark brown skin glowed with her smile. With her daringly short hair and all-black outfit, she had seemed unapproachable, but her smile transformed her entire demeanor into one of charm.

She sipped from the cup with a relaxed expression and smiled even brighter. Then, noticing my gaze, she spoke quickly. 

“Um, I’m Chloe… Sorry, I drank first.” 

“I’m glad you like it, Chloe. So, what are your names?” 

When I addressed the two young men sitting in the middle, they introduced themselves as “Victor” and “Ethan”. Both had beautiful red hair, but their physiques and facial features were completely opposite. Victor was short and slender with chiseled features, while Ethan, the tallest of the group, was muscular and had a well-defined face. 

“We’re all students at the University of Queensland… Victor, Chloe and I met Alan at the university.” Ethan continued, thinking that more explanation was needed beyond their names. “Kasim didn’t know the three of us, but he was a classmate of Alan’s in high school…” 

I see, so Kasim wasn’t directly friends with the other three. I thought he seemed a little different… wait a minute. Did he say University of Queensland? 

Even I, who have a certain aversion to academics, know the name of the prestigious university in Brisbane. I almost jumped out of my skin. 

What a surprise, it’s an Ivy League school! 

The tension that Chloe’s smile had loosened began to tighten again. I had to finish this before they started talking about the Olmec civilization. 

“So, what brings you to me?” 

Victor turned his innocent green eyes to me at my words. 

“Mr. Potter, were you Alan’s lover?” 

I couldn’t help but look up at the cream-colored ceiling. This was the second time I had been asked this question today. I was beginning to worry about the narrowness of this young man’s social circle. 

“Excuse me?” I asked in a low, hushed voice that was immediately drowned out by the desperate cries of the other three. 

“Why!” 

“No way…” 

“You idiot!” 

Seeing his friends clutching their heads, Victor pouted slightly, looking a bit offended. 

“Why blame me? None of the things we wanted to ask him can proceed without knowing the answer to that question.” 

“Idiot, you are such an idiot.” 

“Chloe, I’ve told you many times that that word is the furthest thing from describing me…” 

“Shut up, you idiot!” Chloe snapped at him, her eyes narrowing. “We agreed to start with small talk about the weather. What did you hear!”

The other two nodded at her words. I wanted to teach these innocent students that for adults, talking about the weather was a symbol of awkwardness and not a good way to break the ice. 

“Um, before I answer that question, can I confirm something?” I managed to slip in, interrupting their lively exchange. “Has Alan ever talked to you about his sexual orientation?” 

The four of them exchanged glances, then shook their heads slightly. 

“In high school, Alan was usually alone. We never thought about the sex of his partner.” 

“We… didn’t hear it directly from him, but…” 

“We hung out for three years, so we kind of guessed by his reactions to certain things.” 

“There were some idiots who noticed and teased him indirectly.” 

Victor shrugged unapologetically at Chloe’s cold look. 

“Because his reactions were funny.” 

“That’s really the lowest, no matter how many times you say it!” 

I thought it was a perfectly reasonable opinion, but Victor just looked away, bored. They were all very unique individuals. I wondered how Alan came to spend time with them. 

“First of all, to answer your question, Alan and I were not lovers.” 

The students hurriedly turned to me. They looked into my eyes to see if my answer was true. 

“We were friends, and I often gave him advice. I don’t want to talk about the content of those consultations. I’m sure you understand.” 

Did my sincerity get through to them? The four of them, who had been fidgeting as if they wanted to say something, fell silent. Their overly honest reaction made me feel a little uncomfortable. With the pesky creators I usually deal with… of course, I consider myself one of them… I believe that to compromise even a micron is to lose.

Out of a strange feeling of guilt I had never felt before, I ended up asking them an unnecessary question. 

“Um, so you want to hear about Alan from me, right?” 

“Yes.” Ethan replied in a flat but clear voice. I almost scratched my head with my right hand but managed to bring it back to my thigh just in time. 

“What do you want to know about Alan? You mentioned something about a lover.” 

At my words, Chloe and Ethan lowered their eyes. Victor, as if to say, “Let’s see what you’ve got.” touched his temple with a finger and stared at Chloe, while only Kasim continued to look straight at me with his blue eyes. Just as he was about to speak, Chloe raised her face as if she had made up her mind and slipped in her words. 

“Mr. Potter, why do you think Alan left this world?” 

“Um, what do you mean?” 

“Do you really think his death was suicide?” 

I couldn’t help but stare back into her big brown eyes. I managed to squeeze a few words out of my mouth, which had been hanging open for no reason. 

“Suicide…?” 

Chloe’s eyes darted at my almost whispered words. She explained slowly, looking guilty. 

“We went to Alan’s funeral… that’s where we met Kasim. Alan’s father came to thank us and choked up and said, “Why did he take his own life?””

My throat felt completely blocked by the flood of meaningless words. Staring down at my feet, I felt the unspoken words swirling in front of my eyes. I usually wear proper shoes when clients are in the office, but today I was still in my comfortable slippers. 

When I realized this, I forcefully interrupted my wandering thoughts. It’s a bad habit of mine to start thinking about irrelevant things under stress. 

“When I heard the news of his death, I thought he had been in an accident. The last time I saw Alan, he looked tired…”

I slowly raised my head at Chloe’s words. After a moment of thought, I realized that I had assumed that Alan’s cause of death was murder. Looking back, the two policemen had asked about Alan’s social circle and tried to intimidate me, but they hadn’t explicitly stated his cause of death. 

When I fell silent, Chloe continued. 

“What do you think, Mr. Potter? We can’t believe he committed suicide.” 

I wanted to reflexively agree, but my throat was still blocked. His thin, anxious frame and beautiful but shadowed face made me uncomfortable. His friends probably didn’t know it, but Alan was struggling with his sexual orientation. 

How could I, who knew so little about him, say that suicide was impossible? 

My silence seemed to shock the four of them. Still, Victor, Ethan and Kasim… the three men except Chloe didn’t react as strongly as she did. I thought they might have some idea. Sadness, frustration, anger… the expressions of the three young men burned into my retinas. 

Unbeknownst to them, I glanced at my watch. It wasn’t even 4:30 yet. Surprisingly, we had only talked for about twenty minutes. It felt like three hours. 

Clutching my right hand so tightly that the nails dug into my palm, I raised my head. I decided to politely but firmly send these students away. I felt a little guilty, but they had come without notice. It wouldn’t be rude.