DI Ch 144

My tasteless voice suddenly rasped. Did someone cut my throat? Otherwise, how could a voice like this come from a person? I stood there in a daze and yanked the black fabric as if it were tearing it.

It was just a wall. A wall without windows, just a wall.

My hand went up to my head instinctively. Belongings, diary, journal. It was a different room from the one described in Seo Seung-won’s diary. There was no window. There was supposed to be a window blocked by wooden boards. If I could just remove that, I thought I could escape.

I sat down, banging my head, and in an instant I realized I was on the floor. What? I wondered if it was a dream in my confused state. But the bright flashlight was calmly shining as if nothing had happened.

I must have passed out. I should turn it off if I couldn’t do anything. It was a waste of battery, and my body was deteriorating. The time was precious. It felt like a race against time, and I regretted the time I had forgotten. I stood up again, clutching the axe, and scanned the surroundings.

I didn’t feel like the door would open, so I drank the water without any worries. Ah, I really don’t have any strength. I opened a new chocolate bar and ate it while massaging my throbbing head. I don’t know whether I should be happy or feel bad that no one came.

Could this be unfolding as predicted…?

This world really hates me. It must be angry that I ruined everything. Should I have just watched Woo Ji-min become unhappy then? Was it trying to kill me because I don’t do that? No. This is just my fate here. I underestimated the coerciveness of this place too much.

I was already in a state of predetermined despair, and this was something I couldn’t shake off.  I don’t know that, I don’t know that either… My boiling head was hot like gasoline catching fire. The unorganized words in my mind were all jumbled up.

It will torment me until I want to k*ll myself.

“Uh, uhh.”

I stuttered like an idiot and spun around in place. No. I don’t want that. I don’t want to die. My rough breaths echoed in my ears. Hyperventilation. I could finally feel the blood draining from my body.

“Heuk. Uuh, kuk. Hu, uh, hu.”

I buried my head in my knees, hugging it with both arms protectively. Ah, I’m so annoyed. In moments of urgency, my mind easily loses focus, and I repeat only obstructive actions. Was I always like this? …Yes, I was. I let out a hollow laugh as I tried to catch my breath to get out of the panic state.

So this is what happens when a person breaks down. The drug addict is partly to blame, but little by little, without me realizing it, moments piled up and I broke down to an uncontrollable degree. I felt I had gone so insane that I had no confidence in returning to normal. Why did I end up like this? When did I start crumbling like this?

For now, I just need to get out of here. Let’s focus on that.

There will be a window in the next room. The reason they locked me in here is because only this room has no windows. Let’s go to the next room. A distance where I can’t even hear the kidnappers laughing loudly. A hallway where no signs of people were felt every time a door opened, at least one floor up. If I’m careful, I can quietly get to the next room. I just need to knock out one person.

Every time I breathed, the smell of my own blood and the intense sense of reality sent shivers down my spine, but now it was time to wake up from this nightmare.

The cold floor made me lose an unusual amount of body heat, so I looked for a hot pack first. I applied them all over my arms, legs, nooks and crannies to radiate heat. In a flash, I noticed my school uniform looked really dirty. I thought about changing into new clothes but decided to keep the dirty state just in case.

Just think positive thoughts. Forget the bad thoughts and just think that everything will be okay. With firm determination, I laid out the climbing gear on the floor. With trembling hands, I calmly prepared.

Window. Let’s start by looking for the window. There won’t be anyone outside, so I just need to quietly go down. Just go down and I’m done. They seem so brazenly confident that they probably won’t bother coming outside to keep watch or be on guard. I’ll need to go down at least two floors. The building itself shouldn’t be that tall.

…What if this is underground?

The hand that had been moving anxiously suddenly stopped. The deep sense of reality that I couldn’t escape wrapped around my senses. A game. Yes, let’s think of it as a game. Even after the college entrance exam, Lee Hyun-wook and I would study while Kwon Jung-hyuk and Park Kang-woo sat in front of us playing games on their phones.

There was a time we played an escape room game. When Park Kang-woo said that if he found all the equipment, he could open the door… I clenched my fist as I tried to grab the doorknob. This is not a game, Lee Hyun-wook said. How could reality be a game? He’s right. It’s not a game. I almost let my guard down completely trying to relieve the tension.

This is not a game I can start over from the beginning, so I have to stay alert. Instead of recklessly opening the door, I put the flashlight in my mouth, gripped the axe tightly, and listened carefully. It was quiet, but I could sense some movement. But it was so faint that I wouldn’t hear it if I didn’t concentrate.

I carefully turned the doorknob and looked outside. Empty. I caught my breath and stepped outside on tiptoes. Standing in the middle of the eerie hallway, I kept my eyes glued to the stairs as I slowly backed up. I strained my ears towards the room right next door, but it didn’t seem like there was anyone on this floor either. Putting in great effort, I carefully turned the doorknob.

“…”

I know why they didn’t bother locking the door. The only way out is those stairs. Fvck. I tightened my grip on the axe and took a swing at the air. My body had already heated up and sweat was starting to pour down.

Fck, fck… As I was about to swing the axe again out into the hallway, I stopped wasting unnecessary energy and turned my head. There was a smoking room in the opposite direction of the stairs. I almost got distracted by the worn-out smoking room stickers. If I get out of here, I’ll have to find the building architect and write a thank-you letter.

Cautiously opening the door and checking inside, a wave of despair and relief hit me simultaneously. But really, what floor is this? The ironic mix of emotions made my wobbly legs go limp. I have to risk my life going down, but it’s fortunate that it’s at least not underground as expected.

As expected, the scenery in front of me was not a cityscape, but a mountain with only trees. There was no road in sight. Would there be a road if I looked the other way? There’s no way to know. Even if there actually is one, I have no intention of going that way. I had to escape in the direction where they couldn’t easily chase after me.

I looked at the sunset sky and rubbed my dizzy eyes. Anyway, whatever happened, the window was completely shattered. Ah, I need to go out that way. If it’s nature’s doing, thank you God, and if it’s man-made, I’m grateful for the riot that made this possible. There’s no law that says I have to die.

Separating from the door I was leaning against, I put the cereal bar I had stuffed in my pants into my mouth and chewed vigorously. Since I had been hungry for too long, I kept worrying about continuously eating something, but I was more afraid of losing strength. Fearing when I might suddenly run out of energy, it felt reassuring to have something in my mouth.

I murmured non-stop and looked down carefully. Even though it was dark, I was fortunate to be able to see everything below. There were no people or cars in sight. I wondered if this place was really abandoned. Even if someone were to be kidnapped or killed here, no one would know.

I wiped my sweaty neck and tried to calm my pounding heart. If I want to go down, now is the time. I took a deep breath and raised my head. The sky was tinged with dusk. It crossed my mind for a moment whether I had to wait until it became late dawn, but if I did that, my arms would become numb.

I massaged my throbbing arm and glanced behind me. The hallway that made me feel uneasy for no reason was quiet. I hoped that drug addict bastard wouldn’t come suddenly. As soon as the cold wind dried up the sweat, it started to pour out again. Maybe it’s because he’s the only one who comes in and out. I was even more anxious that he hadn’t come yet.

I bit my lower lip and shook my head as if to shake off the anxiety. Since no news is good news, let’s not be more anxious.

I found the tracking finger gloves and put them on. After clearing away the glass shards stuck to the window frame, I measured the size. It seemed impossible to go out with just the bag, so I felt like I should take my body out first. Starting with my body. Yes, starting with my body.

I inserted a rope into the door gap to make a loop, then hooked it securely onto the door handle. The noise made me a bit uneasy, but seeing that it didn’t budge at all even when I pulled hard, it seemed okay. Probably.

After setting up a rolling chair under the window, I placed a backpack on top of it, tied a homemade belt around my thighs, and inserted an ax and a small knife into it. As practice, I swiftly drew them and made motions as if swinging at someone to steady my mind.

Honestly, I feel like throwing up and can barely stand properly, but I’ll manage somehow. Right. I’ll manage somehow. Gripping the rope tightly, I brushed off all negative and pessimistic thoughts. The cold wind kept blowing, making it feel less difficult than I expected.

Ah, can I really do this? I feel like I might survive even if I fall from here. The absurd, even extreme optimism doesn’t feel dangerously unrealistic for some reason. Why? After standing there dazed, I hurriedly stuck my body out the window. I carefully pulled out the bag too, then took a deep breath.

Just as I was trained, only as much as I was trained.