TM | Chapter 2

A strained voice escaped from Yoon Sung’s lips.

“…W-Why did you hold me?”

“I already told you. I thought we were just indulging in pleasure together.”

Yoon Sung’s clenched fist trembled. A furious voice burst forth.

“I was a virgin!”

“I know.”

Unlike Yoon Sung’s completely twisted expression, Kang Taegwon only smiled faintly.

“That’s why I kept seeing you for so long. While we were together, I never sought out anyone else. Our… compatibility was quite good, wasn’t it?”

As Yoon Sung crumbled inside, Kang Taegwon remained composed, his nonchalant words slicing him apart, carving into his soul.

“I don’t feel entirely good about ending things like this. But I hope we can remain good friends.”

“…What?”

“If you allow it, I’d still like to be your only companion in bed.”

Yoon Sung felt his breath catch. He had just said he loved Lee Seol, yet he still wanted to continue sleeping with him?

The words that spilled from Yoon Sung’s lips were a mix of sorrow and fury.

“I… I love you. H-How could you call what we had mere indulgence? How could you dismiss all the time we shared? The whispers of affection between us—”

“I never once said I loved you.”

His voice was gentle but unwavering. Yoon Sung was at a loss for words.

Every time they had been together, Kang Taegwon had whispered about how good it felt, lavished him with praise, called him beautiful. But he had never once said he loved him.

So… was it never real?

Was he really just walking away like this, as if it had meant nothing?

Yoon Sung’s stomach twisted at the sheer shallowness of it all.

His trembling hands clenched around the silk pouch, crumpling it beyond recognition. His eyes reddened, his shoulders quaked, and the sheer weight of betrayal made it impossible to breathe.

Kang Taegwon, watching him silently, lifted a hand as if to console him.

“You’re too emotional right now. You need to calm down.”

But Yoon Sung smacked his hand away.

There was not a single trace of guilt in Kang Taegwon’s eyes, not a single ounce of regret for treating him as mere entertainment.

Without another word, Yoon Sung stormed away.

Even as he stumbled down the mountain path, Kang Taegwon never followed.

At some point, Yoon Sung came to an abrupt stop. He turned back, his eyes searching for the pavilion. His large eyes were brimming with unshed tears, ready to spill over at any moment.

Was it true? Was I really just a passing amusement? Is this truly the end?

To him, Kang Taegwon had been both a childhood friend and a lover with whom he had shared a year of intimacy.

Clutching at his chest, as if trying to hold his shattered heart together, Yoon Sung flung the silk pouch to the ground and started walking again.

He forced himself down the rough trail, choking back the tears threatening to spill. Every time he passed a place where they had once stolen kisses, his insides twisted painfully. Every time the familiar mountain path reminded him of their shared walks, a suffocating ache clawed at his throat.

He wanted to scream in rage, to howl at the sky, but even in his anguish, the dignity of a noble held him back.

Instead, his silent tears fell onto the dirt path, soaking into the earth beneath his feet.

By the time he had descended halfway down the mountain, he realized his tears hadn’t stopped. Unable to bear it any longer, he veered off the path, pushing through the dense foliage.

Under the shade of a massive tree, he crouched down and sobbed.

And with his tears, every cherished memory came pouring out.

That first kiss under the moonlight, when Kang Taegwon had pulled him close, relentlessly seeking his lips. The way he had laughed at Yoon Sung’s blushing face, pressing kiss after kiss against his forehead.

The first time they had slept together.

The day he had visited Kang Taegwon’s home, hearing that he was bedridden from intense training. Yet instead of being sick, Kang Taegwon had simply pulled him into his arms and spent the night moving his hips tirelessly.

Yoon Sung had truly thought he was going to die that night.

He kissed even the most secret places of my body, saying I was cute, while I was curled up, too hurt and ashamed to move. That day, my legs gave out, and I couldn’t even make it home. And yet, he did it again.

The voice I had been holding back finally burst out. Forgetting all about the dignity of a noble, I sobbed loudly, wailing endlessly. As I cried, something flickered in front of me.

When I lifted my head, I saw a girl, around ten years old, holding the hand of a younger boy who looked about five. She had a basket tucked under her arm.

The girl stared at me blankly, seemingly fascinated by the sight of a noble crying. Then, she lifted her skirt slightly and pulled out a small piece of cloth, offering it to me.

I accepted what she gave me, but it turned out to be nothing more than a scrap of fabric, like an old handkerchief. It was so worn out that I couldn’t even tell what its original color had been. The girl watched me in silence, as if feeling sorry for me, then reached into her basket and held out a jinndallae flower.

I wasn’t sure why she was giving it to me, so I met her gaze. She gestured towards her mouth, signaling for me to eat it. Then, she plucked one for herself, put it into her mouth, and chewed, before placing another in her younger brother’s mouth.

Only then did I really take in the girl’s appearance. She was so thin, as if she hadn’t even been able to eat thin gruel. Her clothes were so tattered that they were falling apart. The short sleeves exposed her wrists completely, her hair was unkempt, and her face was grimy with dirt. Scratches and small wounds, likely from getting scraped by tree branches, covered her skin.

Tears began to pour uncontrollably from my eyes. Even a child like her pitied me? Overcome with shame, I lowered my face between my knees, trying to hide. The girl, uncertain about what to do, hovered around me before finally crouching down in front of me.

Seeing the two of them sitting there, staring at me, I found myself unable to cry any longer. Forcing back the tears, I took the jinndallae^[1] flower she had offered and shoved it into my mouth.

Only then did the girl exhale, as if relieved. She took her brother’s hand and stood up. The way she moved made it seem like she believed she had just saved a life. I almost laughed at the absurdity of it.

Had I really cried that much?

I wiped the tears from my large eyes and got up. As a noble, I couldn’t afford to cry in front of children any longer, so I hurried to leave. But as I moved, a gust of wind blew through the forest, making me realize I had lost my sense of direction. The unfamiliar scenery made me sigh.

“Hey… which way do I go to get to the village?”

I turned to ask the girl. She gestured for me to follow her. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but only strange, breathy noises came out—“Ah, ah”—like she couldn’t form proper words.

Sniffling, I followed her. The place she led me to was a stream. I looked at her curiously, and she, as if showing me what to do, knelt down and washed her face in the water.

Only then did I understand. She wanted me to wash up and hide the fact that I had been crying.

Even a child is this quick-witted, yet here I am, acting like a fool.

Tears welled up again. Just like she had done, I knelt by the stream and washed my face. Even though it was spring, the water from the mountain stream was so cold that my hands ached. Splashing the icy water on my face over and over, I finally started to regain my composure.

I stared blankly at the flowing stream before noticing some movement nearby. When I turned my head, I saw the girl gathering wild vegetables. With no hoe or tools, she used her fingers to pinch off edible greens, and she dug at the shaded ground with a twig to pull out naengi.

I watched her in silence for a while before finally speaking.

“Hey… why are you two here alone? Where are your parents?”

She shook her head firmly.

“Are they… not around anymore?”

The girl bit her lip, but the little boy nodded.

Only then did I understand. That was why they were so thin, why her hair was a tangled mess.

I reached into my robes and pulled out a plain cloth pouch. I had packed yakgwa to eat with Kang Taegwon. When I took some out and held it toward them, the boy’s eyes widened.

“Take it. Thanks for comforting me.”

I pressed the entire pouch into their hands and stood up. Looking around, I spotted a small, run-down shack at the base of a steep hill.

“Is that your home?”

“Yes, my lord.”

The little boy finally spoke. Yoon Sung patted his head once and let out a sigh. The fact that such a pitiful child had thought I was the one to be pitied, offering me a tattered handkerchief and a jinndallae flower, made my throat tighten. Clenching my lips at my own pathetic state, I turned away and walked on.

Still in a daze, I followed the stream down, only to realize I had no idea where I was. Frustrated, I turned back and retraced my steps to where the children had been, searching for a proper path. Eventually, I found my way and trudged home, dragging my heavy feet.

The entire way back, I swallowed down the anger that kept surging inside me. But just as I entered the road leading to my house, I spotted a man wearing a pale-colored dopo^[2]. He was idly touching the fresh buds sprouting from a tree branch.

Ah, shit…

Cursing inwardly, I came to an abrupt stop. Of all people, why did I have to run into him? Today, of all days, I really didn’t want to see him.

That man, who had been gazing at the budding leaves as if they were some great wonder, turned his head slightly and looked at me. His bright eyes shimmered, even more dazzling than the sunlight streaming down.

Yoon Sung’s brow twitched, forming deep creases.

𓇢𓆸 ࿐ ࿔

A few years ago, we had been at the same eye level. But at some point, he had grown taller, and now I had to look up at him. With a face so stunning it was almost blinding, he truly lived up to the lineage of the Lee family, which had produced queens and royal concubines for generations.

How can a man have such beauty?

His appearance was so flawless it made my insides churn. He looked like a celestial being who had descended to earth. And the way he smiled at me—graceful and alluring—was maddeningly perfect.

No wonder I couldn’t say a word when Kang Taegwon admitted he had feelings for this guy.

Even his sweat somehow looked refreshing. He rarely left his house except for horseback riding, and the only place he ever visited was mine. But today, he was standing right in my path.

“Sung-ah.”

The first to speak was Lee Seol. He walked toward me with an expression so radiant that even the spring sunlight seemed dull in comparison. But as soon as he saw my stiff expression, his face fell, and he quickly closed the distance.

“Did something happen? Why do you look like that?”

“……”

His concern was written all over his face. He studied me carefully, waiting for me to say something. Watching him, I felt an uncomfortable twist in my gut, making me sneer without meaning to. Seeing that, his eyes widened in surprise, and he took another quiet step closer.

“Did someone bother you? Should I kill them for you?”

His voice was barely above a whisper, but it sent a long, weary sigh out of my mouth.

Lee Seol.

With a face as beautiful as fresh-fallen snow, he had the power to steal someone’s breath away with just a look.

And yet, with that same breathtaking beauty, he murmured,

“Should I get some biso^[3] for you? Just a little bit, to slip into their ears and make them go deaf? Or maybe I should pour boiling oil over their face? I could pop their eyeballs too, if you want.”

“You sadistic bastard.”

At my words, Lee Seol smiled, his eyes curving gently. His radiant smile was as bright as spring sunshine, warm enough to make it feel like the scent of flowers was blooming in my chest.

But then, in the same casual tone, he continued, “What’s the big deal?”

“……”

“If you want, I could chop them up and ferment them in soy sauce for you.”