TM | Chapter 4

“…….”

I couldn’t give an answer to the rushed confession. It was too shocking to even process, let alone respond. But all I could think about was how his broad shoulders, uncharacteristically hunched in shyness, suited him so well as he confessed.

His flushed cheeks, dyed red from embarrassment, even looked pitiful. It was truly the beauty of a family that had produced queens and concubines for generations. Seriously. Even his shy demeanor was so dazzling it could steal someone’s breath away.

Probably. If someone who didn’t know Lee Seol saw him, they’d all fall for him instantly, their hearts racing uncontrollably.

But to me, this moment didn’t feel purely genuine. This man had told me in detail how he was trained to captivate men until he fell into the lake at sixteen.

From time to time, he would demonstrate what he had learned, wearing a strange expression, only to immediately complain in frustration about how none of it suited him. I had seen him, too many times to count, unable to contain his own irritation, picking fights with Cheongrok and ending up in a sword fight. I had even been so impressed by Cheongrok’s ability to match him blow for blow that I mindlessly clapped my hands.

So even if this shyness was real, I could only think that it was still, to some extent, the result of training. It was just so like him.

I let out a shallow breath, looking at Lee Seol, who was waiting for my response with his gaze lowered, before turning my head away in my tangled thoughts. At that moment, a familiar silhouette entered my vision. He looked like he had just come down from the mountains and was striding towards me at a fast pace.

I turned back to look at Lee Seol. The one Kang Taegwon had feelings for. The one who was too stunning for words. If he had confessed to Kang Taegwon in the same way he did to me, the two of them would have been matched and married in an instant.

A sharp pang spread through my chest. Before I knew it, Kang Taegwon had reached us and spoke up. Of course, he wasn’t talking to me.

“Isn’t this Lee Seol? It’s been a while.”

With his usual hearty voice, Kang Taegwon called out to him and extended his hand for a handshake. Lee Seol stared at Kang Taegwon’s hand for a moment, then gave a soft smile and dipped his head slightly.

Since turning eighteen, the age of marriage, Lee Seol had developed a habit of minimizing physical contact with others. It was something his family had taught him, considering that if he were to enter the palace as a concubine, even the smallest scandal from his household could be used against him in political schemes.

Even now, when he had no intention of becoming a concubine, he still instinctively avoided physical contact. And despite knowing that, Kang Taegwon always held out his hand.

“It has been a while. Have you been well?”

Unlike how he casually spoke with me, Lee Seol addressed Kang Taegwon with formal politeness. Except for his cousin, Cheongrok, he treated everyone that way, but Kang Taegwon especially had a problem with it. That was why I had gone out of my way to create more chances for the two of them to get along.

But whenever the three of us were together, all we did was drink tea. And aside from answering direct questions, Lee Seol barely spoke. Even in the awkward atmosphere, Kang Taegwon always tried to start conversations about the weather, books, and other trivial things. No matter how friendly he acted, Lee Seol only ever responded with brief replies and maintained strict politeness.

And dumb, oblivious me—I had no idea. That Kang Taegwon wasn’t just trying to get along with Lee Seol because he was close to me, but because he liked him.

Why did I waste my time on such pointless things?

Now, realizing that there was no need to interfere anymore, my gaze drifted aimlessly into the air with a heavy heart. And then, as my eyes met Kang Taegwon’s, my chest felt like it had been hollowed out.

I had never noticed it before, but his gaze on Lee Seol practically dripped with honey. The anticipation and excitement reflected in his pupils laid bare the emotions he harbored.

“What were you two talking about?”

At Kang Taegwon’s question, Yoon Sung clenched his fists tightly. Rage surged through him, making his body sway slightly. Though he quickly straightened up, he couldn’t hide the way his entire body trembled with tension. Seeing this, Lee Seol wiped the faint smile off his lips and calmly answered Kang Taegwon’s question.

“We were just having a little chat.”

As he spoke, Lee Seol reached out his hand toward me. His palm faced upward, silently telling me to take it. Kang Taegwon’s brow twitched at the sight—probably because Lee Seol had never once shaken his hand, yet now, he was the one offering it to me first.

“You look exhausted. I’ll take you back, so take my hand.”

Lee Seol’s soft whisper brushed against Yoon Sung’s ears, and Kang Taegwon’s expression hardened.

“I’ll support him.”

Kang Taegwon placed his hand on Yoon Sung’s shoulder. Just as he was about to shake it off—

“He was startled in the mountains because of me. I failed to consider my friend’s feelings and made a mistake. Now, he’s angry with me, but I don’t know how to make amends.”

Lee Seol casually let the words spill from his mouth, completely unprompted. Yoon Sung glared at his tactless rambling, feeling even more suffocated by the warmth of Kang Taegwon’s hand resting on his shoulder. The bold, masculine lines of Kang Taegwon’s face were still annoyingly handsome, making it difficult to meet his eyes directly. And then, he leaned in closer.

“Aren’t we friends? Forgive my mistake.”

He had been so indifferent back in the mountains, speaking as if he were simply tired of dealing with this, yet now, he was putting on such a desperate expression. His gaze, filled with warning, clearly said, Don’t make a scene in front of Lee Seol. Yoon Sung was speechless.

He tried to push Kang Taegwon’s hand off, but instead, he was pulled in tighter—halfway into Kang Taegwon’s embrace.

“Sung-ah. Tomorrow evening, there’s a gathering with our old academy friends. You should come. Didn’t we always go together?”

How could he even bring up a gathering in this situation? Was it truly such a trivial matter to him that he could still treat me like a mere friend without a second thought?

Yoon Sung was about to snap back when Lee Seol’s voice cut in.

“Is that so? If Sung-ah is going, I shall accompany him.”

Yoon Sung immediately shut his mouth. If he refused, Lee Seol wouldn’t even care about such a gathering. The realization that Kang Taegwon was dragging him into this just to have Lee Seol nearby made his eyes sting with frustration.

He had half a mind to beg Lee Seol to curse this bastard out on his behalf, but how could he ever say out loud that he had been toyed with for a whole year? His pride was already in tatters—there was no way he could voice such humiliation. Besides, they had been close. For a year, they were practically inseparable. There wasn’t even enough time to come up with a proper reason for their falling out that wouldn’t seem suspicious.

If word got out that he had spent the past year sleeping with the notorious Kang Taegwon, Yoon Sung would be branded just as lewd and promiscuous as him. And if Keun-hyungnim found out, he would probably clutch the back of his neck and collapse, wailing about how Yoon Sung had disgraced the family name.

He was already the most useless of the three incompetent sons of the Yoon family. Even so, because he was the youngest, they had gone so far as to bribe matchmakers with extra money just to secure him a good marriage. If his prospects were ruined, the little reputation his family had left would plummet straight into the dirt.

His insides churned with fury. While he was drowning in his own mess of emotions, Kang Taegwon was already chatting away with Lee Seol, as if nothing had happened. He couldn’t take his eyes off Lee Seol, silently pleading for him to look his way, even just once.

Lee Seol, ever the epitome of politeness, responded appropriately but never asked Kang Taegwon a single question. It must have been driving him insane because Kang Taegwon even let out a shallow sigh of frustration.

Watching it all unfold, Yoon Sung felt like his insides were rotting away.

Does it make you that happy?

You don’t even care about my pain!

It’s written all over your face how much it tears you up that you can’t even hold a proper conversation with him!

The one you’ve loved for so long—Lee Seol loves me!

Do you know that?! Do you?!

The words swirled inside my mouth, but I swallowed them down forcefully. I wanted to scream them out, let them tear through the air like a blade—but I couldn’t risk staining Lee Seol’s noble reputation. How could I just blurt out that Lee Seol liked me, without knowing what kind of consequences it might bring?

Kang Taegwon glanced at me, trembling with rage, and let out an awkward laugh. Lee Seol, after watching me silently, finally spoke.

“What’s wrong?”

“…….”

At his question, my lips jutted out in a pout. My body shook with suppressed emotions, and when my shoulders twitched, Kang Taegwon, startled, tightened his grip on them.

“Look, Sung-ah, let’s talk for a moment. We need to clear up any misunderstand—”

“We’re done!”

I clenched my fists and raised my voice. That was all I could manage to say, but it was enough. I never wanted to see that bastard again.

Turning sharply on my heel, I bolted. I ran until I reached my house, stopping just before the entrance. My eyes, burning with fury, were on the verge of spilling over with unshed tears. But I couldn’t walk into my house while crying. So instead, I kept walking forward.

Past the edge of the wall, past the corner of the street, I ducked behind a tree and hid. The tree was too thin to completely conceal me, but I crouched there anyway, sniffling as I tried to calm myself down.

I stayed there for a long time, until my breathing finally steadied. Just as I was about to head back home, I turned around—and nearly jumped out of my skin.

Lee Seol stood exactly five steps behind me, staring without even blinking.

“Why are you crying?”

“…….”

“Can’t I know what happened?”

“…….”

“Is it a secret?”

“Yeah.”

I gave a small nod.

If I said something was a secret, he would never ask again. That was why, among our group of friends, he was one of the few people I could truly trust with my thoughts.

Of course, if he really wanted to know, Lee Seol could just ask Kang Taegwon and get his answer. But he wouldn’t. He had no interest in dragging out secrets, and he wasn’t the type to pry into others’ affairs. And knowing how much I prided myself on keeping my mouth shut, he wouldn’t push me to speak.

Lee Seol gave me a dissatisfied look but soon let it go with a sigh.

I kept my lips tightly pressed together and peeked around.

“I sent Kang Taegwon away,” he said, as if reading my thoughts. “Told him you were still shaken from the snake incident and that you weren’t in the mood to see him. Said he should come back another time.”

At those words, a sigh of relief escaped me. I trudged forward, and Lee Seol naturally fell into step beside me.

“Was it really worth cutting ties over?”

“……I just don’t want to be around him. He’s rotten.”

“I see… Well, actually.”