TLLKTBD CH 1

Chapter 1: “I was supposed to come back tomorrow, and you’re already cheating on me?”

It was an early autumn evening, and the sun was shining brilliantly. Tall corn stalks swayed leisurely in the fields, their rustling sound blending with the warm and comforting breeze that brushed against the boy’s face. He was pedaling hard on an old bicycle that was slightly too big for him, struggling forward with effort. On the backseat of the bike rested a deflated basketball.

The scene was so beautiful that he could even feel the boy’s excitement. Tonight was the orphanage’s monthly birthday celebration, which meant the cook would prepare a special meal. Hopefully, there would be those delicious roasted drumsticks again. He had only tasted them once last month, and he had been craving them ever since. The thought of the crispy, golden-brown chicken made him pedal even faster.

If it weren’t for that scream…
Would he have been able to eat the chicken?

A pair of eyes suddenly snapped open in the darkness, accompanied by heavy breathing. It was that dream again. He had lost count of how many times he had been startled awake by that scream since childhood. The lingering fear, helplessness, regret, and guilt weighed heavier on his heart each time, suffocating and inescapable.

In the pitch-black room, the man blinked a few times. Cold sweat covered his body, making him shift uncomfortably. Sleep was out of the question now. He let out a low sigh and decided to take another shower.

Lu Qian stepped into the bathtub and turned on the shower, letting the icy water cascade over him. A shiver ran through his body, but the restless frustration inside him didn’t dissipate. As the water gradually turned warm, steam filled the bathroom. He leaned his right hand against the wall while his left hand clenched tightly by his side, as if he were lost in thought—restraining himself, angered, torn between conflicting emotions.

Finally, his legs parted slightly as his left hand slowly reached downward. His expression remained blank, only at the very last moment did a suppressed groan escape from his tightly clenched teeth. His eyes were shut, brows furrowed, head tilted back as he panted heavily. The sharp lines of his neck moved with each breath, exuding a raw sensuality, but his face carried a trace of disgust.

After calming his breath, he took extra time meticulously scrubbing himself clean from head to toe, inside and out. With a towel draped over his head and a white bathrobe around his body, he stepped out of the hotel bathroom. He unzipped his suitcase and pulled out a fresh set of clothes.

He had been on a business trip for five days now, and for someone who struggled with sleeping in unfamiliar places, these nights had been torturous. Last night, he had downed some alcohol and taken a sleeping pill just to get some rest, yet he still woke up from that nightmare.

Five in the morning.
Damn it. Not too early, not too late.
Too late to go back to sleep, too early to start the day.

For the first time in his life, Lu Qian felt truly alone. He had always believed he was used to being independent—coming and going freely, with no ties to anyone. He even thought this kind of life was good.

But now, he knew that he wasn’t okay.
He suddenly wanted to stop running, to find someone he could lean on.

Irritated, he continued drying his hair with the towel while rummaging through his bag. He wanted to find the travel guide he had prepared beforehand—just to see where he should go next. His official business was already settled, and he had deliberately extended his stay through Saturday and Sunday to explore this unfamiliar city.

That was only the first day of his break, yet he already found it dull and uninteresting. As he rummaged through his bag, his fingers suddenly brushed against something cold and hard. He pulled it out and looked—it was a key.

Xu Yang’s house key.

Xu Yang was Lu Qian’s boss, the head of Otto Interior Design Studio, as well as its creative director. The studio was small and simple in structure, with a total of nine people, including Xu Yang and Lu Qian. There were four designers, each with an assistant, plus a part-time general staff member. Lu Qian held the position of lead designer.

From the moment Lu Qian joined the company, Xu Yang had inexplicably latched onto the idea that the two of them were the same kind of people. Convinced of this, he pursued Lu Qian relentlessly, much to Lu Qian’s frustration. And so, three years passed. The entire office knew about it, and Lu Qian, having been chased down to his wit’s end, had no choice but to get used to Xu Yang’s shameless persistence.

The boldest incident had happened at a company gathering when Xu Yang, drunk, had stolen a kiss from Lu Qian. It ended with Lu Qian punching him to the ground. Luckily, everyone at the table had been drunk as well and simply brushed it off as a foolish mistake made under the influence. Once the alcohol wore off, both parties laughed it off as nothing more than a drunken blunder. However, Xu Yang’s bruised left eye became a running joke in the office for quite some time.

Their relationship had always followed this pattern—Xu Yang throwing himself at Lu Qian with boundless enthusiasm, and Lu Qian rejecting him for the eight-hundredth time, yet Xu Yang still believing that the eight-hundred-and-first attempt would be the one to succeed.

This key was something Xu Yang had forcibly given him last year. At the time, Xu Yang had told him, “My home is always open to you. No matter when you walk in, you’ll find that I’ll always be waiting for you.”

Lu Qian hadn’t responded back then. He had simply let Xu Yang shove the key into his bag.

Now, as he held the key tightly in his hand, a thought crossed his mind—So this is the eight-hundred-and-first time.

He was unbearably lonely.

Lu Qian decided to change his plans. He spent the morning looking up new flights and rescheduling his ticket. Then, following the travel guide’s recommendations, he visited a few specialty stores to buy some local delicacies as souvenirs for his colleagues.

And for Xu Yang? What should he get him?

During the two to three years Xu Yang had been pursuing him, Lu Qian had always kept his distance to avoid any misunderstandings. He had never given him a gift before. Even when social etiquette demanded it, he would only gift him cakes or pastries—things that could be eaten quickly, leaving no room for sentimental keepsakes.

But this time, he thought, I should pick out something meaningful.

Lu Qian wandered into a temple. It wasn’t listed in any of the travel guides, but the incense burned strong, and the place was bustling with worshippers. It seemed to be a small temple known only to the locals.

Following the crowd, he stepped through the temple gates, pressed his palms together, and sincerely offered a prayer—wishing for favorable weather and peace for the country and its people.

After finishing his prayers, Lu Qian wandered around the temple and spotted a small shop selling omamori charms^[1]. He chuckled to himself—so even temples weren’t free from commercialization.

He took a closer look. The small silk pouches were delicately embroidered, their craftsmanship exquisite. Each omamori carried a different blessing: deep blue for academic success, green for safe travels, golden yellow for good health, and a warm red for love and relationships…

Ah! This one. A bright red charm for love to go smoothly.

For Xu Yang—may his three-year wish finally come true.

Lu Qian smiled faintly, a subtle bitterness he himself barely noticed creeping into the corners of his lips.

Xu Yang had always been a good person. But as for him… had he been too much of a bastard?

At 5:30 PM on Saturday, Lu Qian stepped off the plane, returning to his city. Dragging his large suitcase behind him, he headed straight for Xu Yang’s home.

He had been to Xu Yang’s place several times before, usually to deliver design drafts or urgent documents that needed signing. Each time, Xu Yang would try to persuade him to stay for a movie or a cup of tea, but Lu Qian always kept his visits brief, leaving after a polite chat.

This time, though, he was coming over of his own accord. Lu Qian felt a bit nervous. He wondered how Xu Yang would react when he saw him. Hopefully, he wouldn’t get too excited—Lu Qian would feel awkward if the reaction was over the top.

His palms were damp with sweat. It took him two tries before he managed to fit the key into the lock.

Click.

The door opened.

The rich aroma of home-cooked food drifted from inside.

And then, a young man’s cheerful voice rang out:

“Xu-ge? Why didn’t you pick up your phone? Did you see my messages? I got the soy sauce—come quick, I need it for the—”

A boy emerged from the kitchen, bouncing into the living room. He wore an oversized T-shirt that barely covered his hips, his long, pale legs exposed beneath the hem. His movements weren’t particularly graceful.

Lu Qian’s polite smile had yet to fade. But the color drained instantly from the boy’s face.

“…Qian-ge…”

“…Xiao Qi…”

The two of them exchanged an awkward greeting, yet neither knew what else to say.

Qi Shaobai—Lu Qian’s assistant.

He had only been working under Lu Qian for six months.

At some point, though, he had entered Xu Yang’s home. And, quite clearly, Xu Yang’s bed as well.

Lu Qian stood at the doorway, gripping the handle of his suitcase. He felt like a complete fool.

One look at the boy’s outfit made it obvious what had happened.

The wide, worn-out T-shirt hung loosely from his shoulders, the collar slipping down to reveal his delicate collarbones. His smooth skin was covered in scattered red marks.

Xu Yang had certainly been… intense.

Feeling awkward, Lu Qian scratched his head. He was just about to apologize when he noticed that Qi Shaobai’s eyes were red.

The boy mumbled in a daze, “…I didn’t know… I thought… I’m sorry, Qian-ge, I’m so sorry…”

Qi Shaobai hurriedly pulled Lu Qian into the living room, dragging his suitcase inside before closing the door behind them—as if afraid that Lu Qian would turn and leave.

He paced back and forth, frantically gathering his scattered clothes while stammering an explanation:

“Qian-ge, don’t misunderstand! There’s nothing going on between me and the director. I just had a fight with my boyfriend yesterday and got drunk… I happened to run into Director Xu, and he was kind enough to take me in. Really, it’s not what you think—”

As he rushed to pull on his pants, his movements were too forceful. A flicker of discomfort flashed across his face.

“Really, nothing happened. We’re nothing—nothing at all…”

Qi Shaobai’s voice grew softer and softer. Lu Qian hadn’t said a word since entering.

And that terrified him.

Lu Qian watched as Qi Shaobai anxiously tried to shield Xu Yang, desperate to clear things up before Lu Qian could misunderstand.

It was as if Lu Qian were nothing more than an insignificant bystander in this entire situation.

A strange emotion stirred in his chest.

He actually felt happy for Xu Yang. This young man truly liked him.

Xu Yang was an outstanding person—exceptional in appearance and eloquent in speech. Setting aside his relentless pursuit over the past three years, which had been somewhat bothersome, he was a trustworthy and reliable superior as well as a friend.

Although Lu Qian had intended to have a conversation with Xu Yang before he knocked on the door, when he saw this young man, he realized he couldn’t.

It wasn’t about whether Xu Yang had betrayed him or not. Xu Yang had always had other choices—after all, it was Lu Qian who had never given him a definitive answer in the past three years.

The reason he couldn’t go through with it was that, as Xu Yang’s friend, he knew Xu Yang deserved someone better.

Not as an act of charity. Or, to put it in harsher terms, he shouldn’t be a choice made out of loneliness.

With that realization, Lu Qian suddenly felt at ease.

Looking at the young man standing beside the sofa, head lowered, not daring to meet his gaze, Lu Qian let out a chuckle.

Qi Shaobai looked up at him in surprise. He was on the verge of a breakdown, yet Brother Qian was still laughing?

Lu Qian gestured for him to come over. “Come, have a seat on the sofa.” He also sat down himself.

Qi Shaobai, looking terrified, sat down stiffly. Right now, he felt no different from a mistress caught in the act, unsure whether the usually mild-mannered Brother Qian would strike him down.

“Don’t misunderstand—there’s really nothing between me and Xu Yang,” Lu Qian said with a smile.

“But you… came here today…” What for? Qi Shaobai was curious but felt it wasn’t his place to ask, so he swallowed the second half of his sentence.

“I just came to return something.” Lu Qian placed a key on the coffee table. “He dropped it. I found it but got busy with a business trip and didn’t have time to return it. So the moment I got back today, I came over to give it back. I didn’t expect to run into you.”

“Oh.” Qi Shaobai thought for a moment, then suddenly exclaimed, “It’s not because of me, right? Brother Qian, you didn’t decide to return the key just because of me, did you? I told you, there’s nothing between me and Brother Xu! Please, don’t misunderstand—if the director finds out, he’ll kill me…”

Looking at Qi Shaobai’s miserable expression, Lu Qian found it amusing. “Why would he kill you? If he did, who else would treat him so well? Who else would cook for him?”

Qi Shaobai blushed at that, stammering and unable to respond.

“You like Xu Yang?” Lu Qian asked.

Qi Shaobai dumbly nodded, then hurriedly shook his head. “No, I don’t! Brother Xu doesn’t either!” He kept denying it but realized Lu Qian clearly didn’t believe him. In the end, he had to admit it.

“Brother Qian, please don’t tell Brother Xu. He… doesn’t like me.” Qi Shaobai gathered his courage and said, “I know Brother Xu has always liked you. He often comes to our office just to see you and talk to you—I can tell. You don’t realize how gentle he is when he talks to you. Unlike with us, he’s always so stern.” As he spoke, he sounded a little wronged.

Lu Qian raised an eyebrow, pointing at the faint bruises on Qi Shaobai’s exposed collarbone. “With things between you two already at this stage, how can you still think he doesn’t like you?”

From what Lu Qian knew, Xu Yang was a disciplined person. For him to have taken things this far with Qi Shaobai, it definitely wasn’t just a misunderstanding.

Qi Shaobai hastily adjusted his collar and shook his head vigorously, his eyes filled with sadness. “No, it’s not like that. He was just… drunk. He wasn’t happy…”

He wanted to say more but suddenly stopped.

The sound of the door opening rang out, followed by Xu Yang’s impatient voice. “You’re still here?”

Qi Shaobai immediately jumped up, looking at Xu Yang in shock.

Xu Yang frowned at the suddenly timid-looking young man, about to scold him further when he caught sight of another person sitting on the sofa. His expression changed drastically.

“Xiao Qian? Why are you here? You… weren’t you supposed to come back tomorrow?”

“I was supposed to return tomorrow, so you decided to have your fun today?”

Looking at Xu Yang, who was standing there awkwardly with a bottle of soy sauce in hand, Lu Qian smirked and slowly stood up.

“I…”

Xu Yang glanced at Qi Shaobai, then back at Lu Qian. Given the situation, he wanted nothing more than to disappear on the spot.

(To be continued…)