TLLKTBD CH 2

Chapter 2: From Now On, We Can Only Be Friends

Xu Yang had remained faithful and pure while chasing after Lu Qian for three years, never expecting that a single night of relaxation at a bar would lead to an encounter with Qi Shaobai.

The two of them hit it off and drank a little too much. In a moment of reckless impulse, Xu Yang brought Qi Shaobai home. He hadn’t been with anyone for three years, relying only on his own hands to satisfy himself. But this time, Qi Shaobai, youthful and passionate, ignited a fire within him. One thing led to another, and the night turned into a raging wildfire, burning through every bit of restraint. By the time it was over, Qi Shaobai had passed out from exhaustion multiple times.

When morning came, Xu Yang awoke to find Qi Shaobai lying in his bed, his body covered in marks—clear evidence of the rough treatment he had endured. Guilt and regret surged through Xu Yang. But before he could even process it, the young man woke up, completely unfazed. His voice was hoarse, yet he acted carefree, telling Xu Yang to forget about the night, brushing it off as nothing more than a one-night stand.

“It’s no big deal,” he had said.

Then, limping slightly, he even asked if Xu Yang was hungry, insisting on making him breakfast despite barely being able to stand.

Frustrated, Xu Yang stormed out of the house, wandering the streets aimlessly, trying to clear his head. Yet no matter how much he walked, he couldn’t figure out what to do next. In the end, still dazed, he found himself buying a bottle of soy sauce for Qi Shaobai before heading home.

He never expected to walk straight into such an awkward scene upon returning.

“Lu Qian, let me explain…” Xu Yang started, but Lu Qian didn’t react like some dramatic character from a Qiong Yao novel^[1], covering his ears and shouting, I don’t want to hear it!

Instead, he simply stood there, waiting.

But Xu Yang had no idea what to say.

At this point, what was there to explain?

Meanwhile, Qi Shaobai, who had been standing against the wall, pale-faced and trembling, forced a calm expression and blurted out, “H-Heh, I should get going. My boyfriend’s here to pick me up.”

Without waiting for a response, he turned sideways and bolted out the door, not even bothering to grab his jacket.

Boyfriend?

Bullshit!

The way he acted in bed last night—it was obvious he was a virgin.

Xu Yang clenched his jaw, silently fuming as he watched Qi Shaobai’s fleeing figure.

By the time he snapped out of it, Lu Qian was already looking at him with a faint, knowing smile.

“Shall we talk?”

That was when Xu Yang knew—he had lost him.

With a heavy heart, he collapsed onto the sofa, an overwhelming sense of defeat washing over him.

Three years.

He had pursued Lu Qian for three long years, even giving him a spare key a year ago, yet he had never received a response.

Why did Lu Qian suddenly appear now, of all times?

And why, just when Lu Qian was finally ready to take a step forward, had he made the biggest mistake of all?

“Here’s your key,” Lu Qian was the first to speak, pushing the key on the table toward Xu Yang. “Xiao Qi is a good kid. Don’t let him down.”

“There’s nothing between me and Xiao Qi,” Xu Yang tried to argue.

Lu Qian nodded. “That’s what he told me too. He was afraid I’d misunderstand you, afraid that I’d be angry with you, so he kept explaining. He even said just now that his boyfriend came to pick him up.” Lu Qian paused. “Do you believe that? Or do you think I would believe that?”

“Xiao Qian, listen to me… Yesterday was just an outlet, nothing more. The one I love is you… I only love you,” Xu Yang clutched his head in anguish.

“Then why couldn’t you say that just now?” Lu Qian hit the nail on the head. Xu Yang had been unable to say it earlier. Qi Shaobai had brushed it off as just a one-night stand, but the fear of being abandoned was clear in his eyes. How could Lu Qian not understand? He understood too well. For three years, every time he looked in the mirror, he saw that same sorrow in his own reflection.

“Lu Qian, I’m sorry,” Xu Yang was deeply distressed. He had waited for three years, never expecting that the one to ruin their relationship would be himself.

Lu Qian shook his head and said disapprovingly, “What are you talking about? If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me.” He looked at Xu Yang sincerely, his tone softening. “Xu Yang, thank you for these three years. Really, no one has ever treated me as well as you have. But feelings can’t be forced. To be honest, you should be grateful that I saw Xiao Qi today.”

“Grateful? More like utterly unlucky. I haven’t done anything wrong for three years, and yet this one mistake—” Xu Yang felt aggrieved. Then, as if realizing something, he asked, “Why did you come today?”

Lu Qian smiled sheepishly. “Since things have already turned out like this, I might as well tell you, but I hope you won’t be mad after hearing it.” He took a deep breath and admitted honestly, “Actually, I came today because I was planning to say yes to you—to give us a try.”

Xu Yang slumped, holding his head in despair. He had been so close, yet he had lost everything.

Seeing Xu Yang’s overwhelming regret, Lu Qian quickly spoke, “You shouldn’t feel regret. You should really feel relieved. Seeing Xiao Qi made me realize just how selfish I am.”

“Selfish?” Xu Yang was puzzled. Besides, how could he not regret losing Lu Qian?

“I think… I was just too lonely. I wanted someone to keep me company. And because you’ve always been so good to me, I thought of you.”

“I don’t mind! I’m willing! All I ever wanted was to be by your side!” Xu Yang interrupted him urgently.

Lu Qian looked at him and asked, “You only want to be by my side? Don’t you want me to love you?”

Xu Yang opened his mouth, but no words came out. He understood Lu Qian’s meaning.

In the end, Lu Qian had never fallen in love with him.

“Xu Yang, you’re a really wonderful person. But I’m too selfish,” Lu Qian lowered his head. “You deserve someone who truly loves you. Not someone like me, who just seeks comfort whenever I feel lonely and cold. I’m not good enough for you.”

“Tsk! Even choosing me among millions isn’t something done casually,” Xu Yang let out a bitter laugh and shook his head. This was fate’s doing—both a blessing and a curse.

“It’s not about being good enough or not. We just… don’t have enough fate between us,” Xu Yang slowly adjusted his breathing, trying to expel the bitterness in his chest. “Still friends?”

Lu Qian smiled. “Of course, still friends.”

He stepped forward and gave Xu Yang a loose hug. Xu Yang patted his back in response.

From now on, they could only be friends.

“By the way, what’s the deal with you and Xiao Qi?” Now that the tension had eased, Lu Qian couldn’t help but gossip about his former pursuer.

“Sigh, that kid… I really don’t know…” Xu Yang ruffled his hair in frustration. He had no idea what the boy was thinking.

“Ah, no wonder,” Lu Qian suddenly realized something and smacked his forehead. “Our department always has documents that need to be delivered to the director’s office, and Xiao Qi would always be the first to volunteer. Turns out he was using work as an excuse to go see you!” Lu Qian’s voice was filled with amusement. “Director Xu really is quite charming, huh? Got my man all lovestruck.”

“Hmph, charming? Then why couldn’t I charm you?” Xu Yang grumbled in frustration. “Attracting a kid doesn’t count for much. Do you think he’ll keep pestering me?”

Lu Qian shot him a look. “What kid? He’s already twenty-three.”

Then, more seriously, he added, “Honestly, Xiao Qi is really hardworking and responsible. He’s diligent, smart, and takes his job seriously. Remember last month when we all had to work overtime on Lin-ge’s project? The client was an absolute nightmare, nitpicking every little detail. Li Jin, his assistant, was so frustrated he almost quit. But Xiao Qi stayed late every night to help, even though it wasn’t his responsibility. He didn’t even get paid for the extra work. When I asked him why he did it, he just said he had nothing better to do at home, so he might as well stay and learn more.”

Xu Yang thought back to that chaotic period in the studio. At the time, he had only noticed Lu Qian, who was so busy he had developed mouth ulcers. Now that Lu Qian mentioned it, he realized that Xiao Qi had also been there, staying up late and working alongside everyone else.

“Xiao Qi really is a serious and outstanding young man,” Lu Qian concluded.

“And why are you telling me this? You want me to give him a raise?” Xu Yang’s voice still carried a hint of irritation.

“You really have no interest in him?”

“I really don’t,” Xu Yang sighed. “I’m already thirty-five. You just said he’s twenty-three? That’s a twelve-year gap! Even if we ignore age, just look at how loud and energetic he is every day—I can’t keep up with him.” He rubbed his temples. “You know my type—someone mature, composed, elegant, and steady… someone like you.”

“Stop, hold it right there,” Lu Qian raised his hand to cut him off. “If you’re really not interested, then I won’t try to match you up. But I still want to give you this. I think it’s pretty effective. I prayed for you, didn’t I? And look, you got away unscathed instead of getting hurt by me.” He took a red omamori charm from his pocket and handed it to Xu Yang. It was embroidered with a wish for love and happiness.

“I’d rather have been hurt by you,” Xu Yang muttered as he took the charm. Reading the words stitched onto it made him feel even more stifled. “Enough about me—talk about yourself instead.”

“Me?” Lu Qian looked puzzled. “What is there to say about me?”

“Xiao Qian, I’ve chased you for three years and observed you for three years, but I still can’t figure you out.” Xu Yang lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. “Tell me honestly, is there someone in your heart?”

Lu Qian smiled and shook his head. “There really isn’t.”

“Then that means there is.” Xu Yang’s gaze locked onto him, searching for any change in his expression.

For a fleeting moment, an almost imperceptible look of unease crossed Lu Qian’s face. “What could there be?” he said casually, though a distant memory flashed through his mind—golden cornfields shimmering under the sunlight. “Really, there’s nothing. Maybe I just haven’t met the right person yet.” He blinked, his long lashes hiding the emotions in his eyes.

“Is that so?” Xu Yang suddenly reached out as if to put a hand on Lu Qian’s shoulder. Instinctively, Lu Qian dodged. But Xu Yang’s hand simply hovered in midair, never actually touching him.

“You noticed it, didn’t you?” Xu Yang withdrew his hand. “No one can get close to you—not to your body, nor to your heart. You always keep people at a distance.”

“Nonsense,” Lu Qian frowned. “Didn’t I just hug you earlier?”

“That was a deliberate social gesture,” Xu Yang sighed. “But you probably don’t even realize it yourself—you’re always guarded with people.” He exhaled a cloud of smoke. “Xiao Qian, what are you going to do? How are you supposed to find love like this?”

At 10:30 PM, Lu Qian left Xu Yang’s apartment.

They had talked about many things, even sharing a meal together. Actually, the dinner had been half-prepared by Xiao Qi—his cooking skills weren’t bad. He had already finished a few dishes, except for the stir-fried pork with chili, which still needed soy sauce. Xu Yang had haphazardly poured in some and gave it a quick toss in the pan. In the end, the two of them just ate whatever was on the table without much thought.

Now, Lu Qian was dragging his large suitcase out of Xu Yang’s home. Compared to the uneasiness he felt going in earlier, he now felt a sense of relief—yet also a deep sense of confusion.

Xu Yang’s words kept echoing in his mind: Xiao Qian, how are you going to fall in love like this?

Hah… yeah, how am I supposed to fall in love?

He was lonely, truly lonely. But after everything that had just happened, he had sobered up.

How did that song go? Love shouldn’t exist just because you’re lonely.

Sigh… yeah, that makes sense.

Feeling restless and lost, he got into a taxi and absentmindedly gave his home address. His heart felt both empty and heavy at the same time. By the time he snapped out of his thoughts, the taxi had already arrived near his neighborhood.

He saw a handmade coffee shop, its signboard light still glowing.

Lu Qian called for the driver to stop, paid the fare, and pulled his suitcase toward the café. He wasn’t ready to go home yet. He didn’t want to be alone.

The crisp chime of the doorbell rang as Lu Qian pushed open the jazz-themed glass door.

The shop was already empty, with only one staff member mopping the floor.

Jin Lang heard the doorbell behind him and turned around in surprise. The Closed sign was already up—how was there still a customer?

In his brief moment of distraction, the man had already walked straight to a window seat and sat down.

Jin Lang sighed, leaning on the mop in resignation. He could only blame himself for his forgetfulness. His coworker, knowing it was Jin Lang’s first time on the closing shift, had specially reminded him to turn off the signboard light and lower the rolling shutter halfway.

He had forgotten.

He had only put up the Closed sign.

And now… well.

Scratching his head, he decided to go over and apologize, telling the man the shop was already closed.

“Sir, I’m sorry, but—”

“Please give me a black coffee. Thank you.”

Jin Lang looked at the man in front of him—dragging a suitcase, looking utterly exhausted and absentminded.

The words he had prepared suddenly felt impossible to say.

Instead, he changed his tone. “It’s quite late. How about a cup of hot apple tea instead? It’ll help soothe your mood.”

Lu Qian looked up at the server, nodded, then turned back to staring out the window in a daze.

Jin Lang returned to the counter and took out an apple.

With practiced ease, he sliced half of it into thin pieces, dropped them into hot water, and set it to simmer over low heat. He added a bit of cinnamon, a little sugar, and finally, a few black tea leaves.

As the small pot bubbled softly on the stove, a warm, sweet aroma filled the air.

While the tea was brewing, Jin Lang deftly carved the remaining half of the apple into two small rabbit shapes.

“Sir, here’s your apple tea.”

Jin Lang placed a steaming pot of tea and the two little apple rabbits in front of Lu Qian.

“Thank you.”

Lu Qian gave Jin Lang a gentle smile.

Looking at the two little red-eared rabbits on the table, he found them adorable. Before even taking a sip of tea, he already felt a warmth spreading in his chest.

Jin Lang returned his smile, then went back to his cleaning duties. This time, he made sure to turn off the signboard light and pull the metal shutter halfway down. He didn’t want to accidentally welcome another customer.

Once he had finished mopping, wiping the tables, and taking out the trash, Jin Lang finally sat back behind the bar.

The lone customer in the café hadn’t moved for half an hour. Jin Lang didn’t rush him.

Noticing there was still some apple tea left, he poured himself a cup.

He absentmindedly flipped through a sketchbook while breathing in the soothing apple scent. His body, exhausted, slowly grew drowsy.

By the time Lu Qian went to the counter to pay, he was met with the sight of a waiter fast asleep, his face resting on an open book.

The young man’s mouth was slightly open, his hair messily sticking out in all directions.

Lu Qian quietly stood at the counter and first looked at the clock on the wall—the minute hand was pointing at the “2.”

It was already past midnight.

He turned to glance at the glass door, where the metal shutter had been pulled halfway down.

Then, he looked back at the sleeping Jin Lang.

The young man had fair skin, a well-defined nose, and lips tinged with a light cherry color, though they seemed a little dry.

His closed eyelids twitched slightly, his eyelashes—though not long—were thick, fanning over his cheeks like tiny black fans.

His eyes moved beneath the lids, trembling slightly.

Rapid eye movement?

Is he dreaming?

Just then, the young man’s brows furrowed slightly.

His shoulders trembled just a little.

He let out a soft whimper.

Is he trapped in a bad dream?

Lu Qian suddenly felt uneasy. He disliked the idea of being trapped in a dream.

Without thinking, he decided to wake the young man up.

He lightly knocked on the counter.

“Ahem…”

The heroic knight roused the sleeping youth from his nightmare.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize how late it had gotten. You’re already closed.”

He looked apologetically at the groggy young man as he reached for his wallet.

“How much do I owe you?”

Jin Lang rubbed his eyes sleepily, glancing at the time.

Whoa— it was already 12:10 AM.

Then, realizing that the customer had come to pay, he quickly waved his hands.

“No, no, it’s fine. My checkout system was already shut down when you came in, so this one’s on me.”

His eyes were still slightly hazy with sleep, but his smile remained bright.

“Huh? That doesn’t feel right…”

Lu Qian felt even more guilty.

“It’s fine. Are you feeling better now?”

Jin Lang suddenly asked.

Faced with the concern of a stranger, Lu Qian pulled the corners of his lips into a small smile.

Just as he was about to insist on paying, Jin Lang cut him off again.

“Then hurry home and get some rest! I need to sleep too.”

He stretched his stiff shoulders and neck, then suddenly remembered something.

“Oh, right—”

Jin Lang stopped mid-stretch, grinned, and winked at Lu Qian.

“Don’t tell the boss I made a customer crawl through the dog hole.”

He glanced at the half-lowered metal shutter.

“I’m not a customer,” Lu Qian chuckled.

“I didn’t even pay.”

His voice was light, his laughter genuine.

(To be continued…)