IDESGI Chapter 17

Chapter 17

An S-Class Esper and a C-Class Guide experienced a drop in match rate after imprinting.

It was an unprecedented event. Under full government support, renowned scholars from various fields gathered to study the case.

However, research always takes time. Even with the brightest minds working together, a few months wasn’t enough to identify the cause. Every day was a crisis for Ihan, but the research progressed slowly. In the end, they uncovered nothing, and Yoo Ihan had to die.

That’s how it had gone in the first life, so by the second, Yeoul didn’t have high hopes. He thought research was a waste of time. That was why he’d decided to die without telling the government anything.

But by the third life, something different came to light.

His match rate with Geon had increased.

He couldn’t tell if it was a phenomenon unique to this third life or if it had always been this way and he just hadn’t known in the previous ones—but there was hope now.

Once a match rate is set, it never changes unless imprinting occurs. And even with imprinting, the increase caps at 10%. But with Geon, even Yeoul could feel that the guiding efficiency was far beyond that.

An exception had occurred.

If they could identify the cause behind this anomaly, it might be possible to find a way to restore match rates. But the chances were far greater that Ihan would die before the research was completed.

So someone had to carry out the research in secret. It couldn’t be Zone 1, Ihan’s territory. And there wasn’t anyone Yeoul knew in the other zones.

The only researcher Yeoul knew was Kim Eunha from Zone 5.
He had the skill and reliability to be trusted with something this important. But there was a problem…

“Don’t ever contact me again.”

Two years ago, when Yeoul said he was leaving Zone 5 for Zone 1, Kim Eunha cut ties with him. Since then, Yeoul hadn’t had the courage to reach out first, and they lost touch. Still, enough time had passed—maybe Eunha had cooled off by now.

“Let’s just go.”

Whether it went well or not, Eunha was Yeoul’s last lifeline.

If anyone could find a way to save both Ihan and Yeoul, it would be him.

---

Yoon Geon, fastening the buckles of his black harness, said,

“If I clean up just one gate today, I can return to Zone 5 for the day tomorrow. I already submitted a request for zone transfer, so you can come with me.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Just then, his watch gave off an alert, and he stood up from his seat.

“I’m heading out.”

Yeoul glanced at his watch and gave a nod.

“Your vitals look fine. You probably won’t need guiding today.”

As Yoon Geon turned to leave, he ran into Ihan in the hallway. He tried to walk past him without a glance, but—

“You know, Yoon Geon?”

At Ihan’s voice, Geon stopped in his tracks. Their gazes clashed in midair, intense and scorching.

“When an Esper kills another Esper, it’s the death penalty. But if it’s involuntary manslaughter, you just get exiled outside the zone.”

Ihan ended his sentence with a mocking lilt, and Yoon Geon returned the look coldly.

“Not the most pleasant topic.”

“I’m not here to make you feel good. I’m saying it to piss you off.”

“What’s the point of saying this? You planning to kill me? You?”

At the condescending remark, flame energy sparked in the air around Ihan. The temperature spiked so sharply it became hard to breathe.

“You think I don’t have what it takes to kill you?”

“You probably could kill me. But if you do, Han Yeoul won’t ever look at you again.”

“Do you ever shut up with that trash talk?”

Ihan snarled and grabbed Geon by the collar, face twisted in fury—but Geon didn’t even blink, replying calmly,

“Go ahead and kill me. But even then, Han Yeoul’s not going back to you.”

“What, you that eager to die? Why do you keep poking at me? Stop eyeing what’s not yours and stick to your own damn place—before I flip Zone 5 inside out.”

At that, Geon’s eyebrow twitched.

“Why is Han Yeoul yours?”

“I didn’t say Yeoul was an object. He’s not some thing to be owned.”

Ihan clicked his tongue and let go of Geon’s collar like he couldn’t stand touching him.

“I meant the spot next to him. That spot’s mine, and always will be. You just crawl back to Zone 5 and take care of your own Guide.”

This time, Geon took a step toward Ihan and spoke coldly.

“My Guide used to be Han Yeoul.”

“Don’t cling to the past like a pathetic loser. Right now, I’m Yeoul’s Esper.”

The two glared at each other, tension thick enough to snap—until Yeoul came rushing out and jumped between them.

“Are you fighting again? Can you please stop it already!”

The moment Ihan saw Yeoul, his expression melted into gentleness. The fierce wolf from earlier now looked like a meek lamb. Geon stared at him in disbelief.

Ihan clung to Yeoul’s sleeve, putting on a show like he was in pain.

“Yeoul, I’m on the edge of losing control. Can’t you guide me? I feel dizzy and sick… And they said we’re out of guiding meds. You’re the only one who can help me.”

“Why are you out of meds? …What’s your sync level? 67%? Are you crazy? I told you I wasn’t going to guide you anymore! Why do you keep pushing yourself like this?”

Seeing Ihan’s watch screen, Yeoul snapped at him. Ihan drooped like a scolded puppy.

“There are just too many huge gates here… I had to overdo it to clean things up. You know I push myself so others can live.”

“…Wait for the meds to arrive. Once they’re restocked, go to another Guide.”

“There’s another dispatch coming up soon. I just got back from containing a mid-to-large gate at the border. I need to finish the job. If I don’t hurry back, someone else could get hurt or die…”

Yeoul let out a deep sigh and held out his hand toward Ihan, beckoning.

“Haa… Give me your hand.”

“You’re gonna do it by hand?”

“If you don’t want it, forget it.”

“No! Of course I don’t mind. I love it. You know I sleep fine just holding your hand.”

“When did you ever sleep holding just my—!”

Yeoul flared up at Ihan’s comment, but caught himself as he remembered Geon was right there, and his face flushed red. Clearing his throat, he quickly urged Ihan,

“Ahem. Just give me your hand already.”

“Okay!”

“…And he calls me pathetic.”

Yoon Geon muttered under his breath, but Yeoul didn’t catch it. As he held Ihan’s hand and let guiding energy flow, Yeoul suddenly paused. His body stiffened, completely still.

“Hmm? Yeoul, aren’t you going to guide me?”
Ihan asked innocently, tilting his head.

Yeoul pulled his hand away and avoided Ihan’s gaze.

“…I forgot I guided Geon hyung earlier. I don’t have enough energy left. Hand contact won’t be enough. Come inside. I’ll guide you another way.”

Yoon Geon, who had been watching Yeoul closely, looked confused—but as Yeoul gave a small shake of his head, Geon closed his mouth and stayed quiet.

“Really? Okay! I don’t mind at all.”

Watching Ihan wag his tail like a happy pup, completely unaware, Yeoul swallowed the bitter taste rising in his throat.

---

After guiding Ihan, Yeoul returned to his dorm straight away. He collapsed onto the sofa.

‘Hand guiding doesn’t work anymore.’

Worried that even hugging might fail, he’d jumped straight to kiss-guiding. Fortunately, the kiss had worked. Ihan, clueless and happy, had no idea Yeoul was barely holding himself together.

The tremor that began at his fingertips spread throughout his body. He clasped both hands tightly in an attempt to calm himself, but the shaking didn’t stop. Pressing his face into his palms, Yeoul let out a ragged breath.

“Huuk… Haah…”

It felt like the air itself was pressing down on him. Like the ceiling was going to collapse, like something was gripping his lungs and squeezing—he couldn’t breathe.

“No… not yet, not yet. I’m okay…”

But he knew that with time, it would all repeat again. In front of him, Ihan would once more—

“Yeoul… you mustn’t love me.”

“Haahk!”

Yeoul tumbled off the sofa and hit the floor. Clawing at the floor with his nails, he struggled to breathe.

“Haah… huuk… hah…”

His breaths grew shorter, heavier.

It hurt. It hurt so much.

Someone please save me. Please… someone…

He didn’t know how much time had passed. Eventually, the pressure pinning him down began to lift. His breathing slowly returned to normal. Utterly drained, Yeoul lay sprawled on the floor, arms wide. He covered his eyes with one arm to block the ceiling light. From the shadows between his fingers, tears slid down.

“Why do I keep wanting to live?”

He had already died twice because he couldn’t bear to live in a world without Ihan.

And now, in this world where Ihan still lived, he hated how much he feared death.

Ihan died because you didn’t. Why do you want to live? Do you think you deserve that?

So shameless.

A life without Yoo Ihan held no meaning, so whenever Ihan died, he followed.

The first time. The second time. Every time.

He no longer wanted to endure that pain. That’s why this time, he was determined to die in Ihan’s place.

But now, because Yoo Ihan was alive…
Ironically, that—

It made him want to live.

---

Yeoul’s pale face finally regained some color as dawn approached. Just then, a message arrived—zone transfer had been approved. On his way to Central Center, he ran into Yoon Geon, and they walked together to the transfer waiting room.

Geon didn’t ask Yeoul a single thing the entire way. And that, more than anything, unsettled him. Why wasn’t Geon asking anything? Did he already know something? The silence made Yeoul increasingly anxious.

While they sat waiting for the spatial-type Esper in the waiting room, Yeoul suddenly asked,

“Hyung… why aren’t you asking me anything? About why I’m trying to break up with Ihan, or about how I lied yesterday saying I was low on energy because of you…”

“There’s probably a reason you’re not telling me.”

Geon replied shortly. His tone was blunt, but his gaze toward Yeoul was as warm as always.

“You don’t want me to ask. And I don’t do things you hate.”

Faced with Geon’s gentle gaze, Yeoul hesitated, unsure what to say. As if to lighten the moment, Geon threw out a teasing remark.

“I’m keeping this as a debt, so no need to thank me.”

Hearing Geon joke like that made Yeoul’s tense expression loosen just a bit. Feeling grateful for his consideration, Yeoul returned the joke.

“Wow, the rich guy’s squeezing a poor guy dry!”

“Guides aren’t exactly underpaid. A deal’s a deal.”

“Cold-blooded!”

As the two exchanged banter, their eyes met—and without knowing who started it, they both burst into laughter. Seeing Geon’s unguarded, easy smile, the corners of Yeoul’s mouth drooped slightly.

He knew—no one else got to see this side of Yoon Geon but him.
Back when he thought of him as family, that had felt nice.
But now that he knew Geon’s true feelings, it was just… heavy.

Sensing the shift, Geon reached out and gently patted Yeoul’s head.

“You really need to stop overthinking everything.”

“Hyung. Maybe we could just go back to how we were—”

Geon cut him off, taking his hand and holding it firmly.

“You can reject my feelings, but when or whether I give up… that’s up to me.”

“…When will you give up?”

“Who knows.”

Geon softly held Yeoul’s slender, pale hand before letting go. His calm eyes lingered gently on him.

“I’ve held onto this for seven years. Can’t exactly say I’ll give it up that easily.”

Yeoul couldn’t look away. That straight, unwavering feeling was hitting him head-on. He had too much guilt toward Geon to coldly brush it aside.

But that was all it was.
That was the extent of what Yeoul felt for Geon.

Only guilt.

“Esper Yoon Geon, Guide Han Yeoul. We’re ready—please proceed with the transfer.”

A staff member appeared just then, calling for the two of them.