BIAC CH 14

Chapter 14: Ge, when will I ever be your little bunny too?

Du Jianyou collapsed back onto the bed, exhausted, watching Tang He hastily leave the room. He even found it a little funny—why did his confessions always make people look like they’d seen a ghost and scare the soul right out of them? He truly wanted to confess properly too! But where was he supposed to learn how to confess as a man… to another man? He had no teacher, so he could only stumble along on his own. Judging by Tang He’s reaction, he was clearly stumbling terribly this time.

Du Jianyou let out a sigh.

Originally, he thought Tang He also had feelings for him. After all, during their time together, Tang He always seemed happy—he appeared to enjoy Jianyou’s company. Sure, most of the time it was Jianyou doing all the talking with animated expressions, but Tang He always listened attentively and never once showed annoyance. Every time he invited Tang He out, he would gladly accept. Even if they couldn’t sit down for a proper meal, they’d still find time for a quick coffee, a relaxed afternoon tea, or even a late-night drink. Their dynamic had always felt lively and warm.

He remembered Tang He patiently teaching his mother how to use the blood pressure monitor, gently wiping sweat from his forehead on the street, flashing him a sincere smile, holding his fingers and saying, “Just be yourself.”

And just earlier… when Tang He had stood in his room, aroused by him—driven by desire.

Even if he was the one who lit the fire, wasn’t it true that Tang He had caught flame instantly?

Could it be that all the gestures Du Jianyou had interpreted as something more—something that went beyond friendship—were merely polite and courteous in Tang He’s eyes? He didn’t believe that. How could someone dubbed “the Crocodile” be that polite?

But the way Tang He had fled the room just now certainly didn’t look like a man in love. Could all of this really just be Du Jianyou’s own one-sided fantasy?

Whether Tang He reciprocated or not—whether he was just being foolishly sentimental or not—Du Jianyou had never expected anything in return. He simply loved him. And if Tang He didn’t love him back, then that was that. There was no cause and effect, no guaranteed outcome. This was simply his own one-sided willingness to love.

Du Jianyou’s fever continued to burn—his mind half-clear, half-foggy.

But he still remembered his original intent.

If he was willing, then let him come closer.

If he wasn’t willing, then Du Jianyou would retreat—retreat to a distance Tang He could accept, and from there, like him from afar.

But he had forgotten that the heart is made of flesh and blood, and it can only endure so much pain. He had never set any boundaries, and only when he finally lowered his head to examine the damage did he realize—amidst the gushing blood—his heart had already been hollowed out.

And perhaps… even that didn’t matter to Du Jianyou anymore.

If there’s nothing left to give, then stop giving. If there’s nothing left to lose, then don’t lose anymore.

He reached beneath his pillow and felt a soft object. He gripped it tightly.

It was the little bunny Tang He had given him.

Ge, when will I ever be your little bunny too? A faint sorrow stirred in Du Jianyou’s heart.

Eventually, his body could no longer endure the discomfort. He finally passed out into a deep sleep.

***

Meanwhile, on the other side, Tang He couldn’t even begin to describe what he was feeling. Shock, joy, confusion, frustration, betrayal—no matter how he tried to label it, none of the words fit. There simply wasn’t a term that could accurately capture what it felt like to receive a serious confession from another man. He didn’t even know what to do next. All he could think was to race home and fall asleep—escape into nothingness.

He couldn’t think. He didn’t dare think.

But the moment he got into bed, he found himself wide awake. His mind kept replaying the night over and over. Du Jianyou’s voice. His confession. His fingers. His kiss. That passionate kiss… The tension down below made Tang He curl under the blanket with a groan, trying to shake the image from his mind.

Truth be told, this wasn’t the first time a man had confessed to him.

He had a wide circle of friends—some straight, some not. During his time studying abroad, he’d lived freely, always curious to try new things. He had even tagged along to a few gay parties with friends, just to see what it was like. But he’d only watched. That was it.

There were times when a handsome, drunken young man would cling to him—especially when Tang He was a little tipsy himself. Hands sneaking under his clothes, whispering “I like you” or “I want you”… The atmosphere would get so hazy and intimate that Tang He had been genuinely tempted to give in—just once, to try and see what it felt like between two men.

But it never reached that point. As soon as the boy’s lips brushed his cheek, the faint stubble, the masculine scent—Tang He would feel a wave of discomfort wash over him.

He knew, deep down, that he liked women.

But tonight… he hesitated.

He couldn’t believe he had let Du Jianyou kiss him like that. What scared him even more was how he had responded—how he couldn’t stop. He didn’t dare think about what might have happened if Jianyou hadn’t pulled away… if he hadn’t stopped them.

What terrified him the most… was that he’d actually wanted to pin him down on the bed.

How could he?

His anxiety turned into anger.

He was angry at Du Jianyou. How could he just say “I like you” so easily? <span data-tippy-content="Hello, dear readers! If you enjoy this translation, please consider giving it a decent rating on <a href="https://www.novelupdates.com/series/born-in-a-cocoon/">Novel UpdatesLike he was talking about the weather—“Ge, I like you,” just like that?

But he was also angry at himself.
How could he have had that kind of reaction to another man?
Not just a physical one, but an emotional urge—desire, possessiveness, conquest.
He actually wanted to pin another man beneath him.
How could he? How could he treat him that way?

That person was his friend—his brother!

But now, what even were they? Friends? Brothers?
Maybe from the very beginning, this whole encounter was a mistake.
What kind of “friend” climbs on top of you and kisses you the first time you meet, before even knowing your name?
What kind of “brother” stirs up feelings you’re not supposed to have?

A person he once trusted so deeply… was no longer just a friend.

Then… what were they now?

Strangers?

The word hit his heart like a punch.

It was already late. Sleepiness slowly crept in, mixed with the soreness in his throat. As Tang He finally dozed off, a sudden wave of frustration struck him:

Damn it, Du Jianyou—how could you pass your cold to me?

And so, the entire weekend passed with both men battling physical illness and emotional turmoil—separately. Neither of them reached out to the other.

***

On Monday morning, Tang He dragged himself into the office with sluggish steps and a pale face. As he walked past everyone, not a single person dared to speak up. They could clearly feel the suffocating pressure in the air around their boss. No one dared knock on the president’s office door that entire morning.

Near noon, Su An finally summoned her courage and entered the office, planning to ask if he wanted her to bring back lunch. Seeing Tang He slumped listlessly in his chair, she couldn’t help but ask, “What’s wrong with you? You look sick.”

Tang He pointed at his throat, gesturing that it hurt too much to speak.

In truth, he just didn’t want Su An to pick up on any signs of the tangled mess between him and Du Jianyou. Until he figured things out for himself, he didn’t want to talk to anyone about it—especially not Su An, that terrifying woman who had noticed something was up before even he did.

Su An simply shrugged and asked a few more questions:
“Seen a doctor? Taken any meds?” Before leaving, she offered to bring him back some hot soup.

Her words sparked something in him—doctor?

How could he forget? He’d been wasting a perfectly good resource right at his side. Maybe he should consult him when the time was right.

But not now.

Right now, what he cared about more… was that he hadn’t heard from Du Jianyou in two days.

Well, not exactly nothing—he still got the usual “good morning” and “good night” texts.

But beyond that… nothing.

He unconsciously pulled out his phone again—still no new message. Was Jianyou’s cold any better?

His mind was all over the place.

He wearily rubbed his temples—his headaches had been more frequent these days. He thought, maybe after a few more days, once he’d calmed down, he should finally consider seeking professional counseling.

Unexpectedly, just then, his phone rang.

“Hey hey hey! Tang He? President Tang?” Came Guan Dongbao’s energetic voice from the other end of the line.

“Mn.” Tang He responded, tired and irritated. His throat burned so much that he didn’t want to speak at all.

“Eh? What’s with your voice? Are you sick? Or did you overdo it with pleasure?” Guan Dongbao was startled by his raspy tone.

“Cut. the. crap.” Tang He practically growled through clenched teeth. His throat was killing him.

“Oh right!” Guan Dongbao suddenly remembered why he’d called, and exaggeratedly shouted, “Big news! Our dear Yanzi has finally figured things out—he’s in love!”

“It’s not like he’s never dated before. What’s got you so hyped up?” Tang He replied lazily and hoarsely.

“He’s never really dated before, come on. Those brief flings he had in the past? He only got involved because the girls were clinging onto him so hard that he had no choice but to go along with it for a bit. Then he’d treat them so coldly that they’d break it off. Never lasted more than three months. This time’s different—I can see it.”

“How’s it different? He finally made it past three months?” Tang He still wasn’t particularly interested, slowly sipping warm water to soothe his throat.

“They went to the movies on Saturday—we bumped into them, me and Xiaohua. You should’ve seen the way he looked at that guy, all soft and gooey. And when I shook hands with the guy, his eyes were practically shooting fire. He was so protective, you wouldn’t believe it.”

“Whoa now, you really dared to shake hands with someone else in front of Xiaohua? You’ve got guts,” Tang He couldn’t help teasing, thinking about Xiaohua’s notorious jealousy.

“Who said it was a woman? Yanzi’s seeing a man this time! He finally found himself a guy!” Guan Dongbao exclaimed excitedly.

“…”

Tang He finally understood why Guan Dongbao was so worked up about Lin Yan falling in love this time.

They’d always assumed that the self-disciplined, tightly-controlled Lin Yan would never do anything remotely out of line. He was the kind of person who had never even run a red light—how could he ever let himself go?

Tang He was momentarily stunned into silence.

After a long pause, he rasped out in a hoarse voice: “Doubao… do you still remember… that night?”

That day, during the final basketball game of their third year in high school, they had finally won the championship for their school in the national high school basketball league. That night, the three of them snuck off with a couple of beers and sat beneath the basketball hoop at the park, talking late into the night about life.

Tang He spoke of his dreams of studying abroad after graduation, Guan Dongbao of his passion for pursuing medicine, and as for Lin Yan—That night became especially significant because of him.

It was that night that Lin Yan came out to them.

“How could I forget?” Guan Dongbao burst into hearty laughter.
“The two of us idiots almost got into a fight, remember?”

That night had unexpectedly sealed the foundation of their deep and lasting friendship as three men.

Lin Yan had always kept his love life low-profile—or to be more accurate, nonexistent. At first, neither Guan Dongbao nor Tang He paid it much attention. Throughout high school, Lin Yan was constantly surrounded by girls; wherever he went, it was a lively scene. Though he wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about them, he also didn’t reject their advances—just let them come and go as they pleased.

But over time, they began to notice something was off. For someone like Lin Yan, the star captain of the basketball team and the center of attention, his indifference toward girls felt too extreme.

That night under the basketball hoop in the park, while tipsy from the beer, Guan Dongbao jokingly asked Lin Yan if he liked guys—because why else would he be so uninterested in girls? Tang He laughed so hard he thought that blockhead Doubao would get smacked by Lin Yan for his nonsense, and he was even rolling up his sleeves, ready to jump in for a mock brawl—But then he noticed Lin Yan’s silence.

Even Guan Dongbao froze, suddenly regretting that he might have unwittingly exposed a very private part of their friend’s life. He could’ve kicked himself for asking.

But Lin Yan simply said calmly: “Relax. I’m not interested in you.” His cool response made Guan Dongbao want to slap him right back.

“What’s wrong with me, huh? What do you mean you’re not interested? You think I’d be into you either?!” Doubao snapped, jumping to his feet and hopping mad like a child.He didn’t even know what he was upset about, just kept circling around Lin Yan.

“What about me? What if you’re not into Doubao—I’m obviously more handsome. How about me?” Tang He stirred the pot, grinning as he leaned toward Lin Yan, deliberately teasing.

Lin Yan stared at Tang He in silence, his expression complicated, and said nothing.

“Holy shit! No way!” Guan Dongbao tossed his beer can onto the ground with a clang and cursed in disbelief. “You’d pick him over me?”

Tang He’s joking demeanor vanished in an instant, panic flashing across his face as he stammered, “H-Hey, buddy… N-No, come on. I’m, uh… going abroad soon… A long-distance thing would be… really hard and, and—”

Lin Yan suddenly burst into laughter. Alcohol makes people vulnerable, makes them reckless.

He smiled at them, laughed as if it were no big deal—but somewhere along the way, that laughter turned into tears.

It was the first time they’d ever seen Lin Yan cry.

That night, Lin Yan had said a lot. He spoke of his background, his self-restraint, his hidden secrets, the pressure to be excellent, and the sorrow of yearning for a loving home while knowing he might have to spend his life alone.

Lin Yan said, “Thank you for not being scared off by me, for not treating me like a freak.” He even joked about how they were fighting over who got to be liked by him.

Then Lin Yan added, “Honestly, carrying this by myself is exhausting. Now, you two are going to carry it with me.”

Fine—then we carry it together. What, you think we’d let you carry it alone?

Guan Dongbao and Tang He had hugged Lin Yan tightly that night, trying to steady his trembling body and give him warmth. What had once been a clueless and rowdy kind of boyish friendship, suddenly took root, sprouted, and grew lush with leaves.

After that day, the three of them never brought it up again.

Tang He went abroad for school and work after graduation and eventually returned home. Over the years, he played the field but never let himself get attached. Guan Dongbao had fought hard to get into med school alongside Lin Yan and remained devoted to his longtime crush, Xiaohua.
As for Lin Yan, he had a few vague, lukewarm, forgettable relationships—neither sweet nor bitter, neither fulfilling nor heartbreaking.

But never once did he allow himself a real boyfriend.

Time flew by. They had parted and reunited again and again.But all of them still remembered that night under the moonlit basketball hoop—The way Lin Yan had buried his face in his arms, knees pulled to his chest, and spoke in that muffled, low voice.

So sorrowful. So alone.

Back in the present, the call between Tang He and Guan Dongbao hung in quiet reflection.

Finally, Tang He rasped out in his hoarse voice, “Let’s find a time to meet up. You and Yanzi pick the date—I’ll have my assistant book our old private room.”

And just like that, the three high school friends had agreed to reunite.

(To be continued…)