YHP 52

Why did I do that?

Why did I really do that?

“…Ha.”

The clock was already pointing to five in the morning.

He hadn’t slept a wink all night. Every time he closed his eyes, Ho-jin’s face flickered before his eyes.

He couldn’t stop it. He didn’t want to admit it or allow it, but it was definitely true that he had fallen into imagining doing this and that with Ho-jin at the moment the fireworks exploded, and Jeong-in wasn’t the kind of person who could calmly overlook the sudden error he had encountered.

“Why is this happening, really…”

He couldn’t understand it at all. He thought about it until his head was about to explode, but no matter how much he thought about it, there wasn’t a single logically explainable component in the current situation.

Of course, Grandfather’s building, which his success depended on, was a building, and considering that Ho-jin was the only person he had been close to recently, there were some mitigating factors. And Queens Island was a place where leading marketing managers had created ‘that’ atmosphere, so it wasn’t entirely unreasonable to be swept up in their sales maximization strategy a little.

But even so, wasn’t this too out of the blue?

The other person is Yoo Ho-jin. They had lived their whole lives not even knowing that each other existed somewhere on Earth, and they had only known each other for a little over a month. But what on earth was he going to do to think such things about Ho-jin? Why on earth did he do that?

If it was only because he was an Alpha and he was attracted to his Pheromone, even the assumption was disgusting, but he should have been swept away like this with Cho Hyo-jun at least once. But as soon as he thought about doing ‘that’ with Hyo-jun, who was like a real brother, he felt nauseous.

“Ugh, I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

In the end, he got up from his seat, rummaging through his hair as if he were going to tear it out. But suddenly, he heard the sound of water from Ho-jin’s room across the wall. The culprit of this situation seemed to have woken up exactly at five o’clock today as well.

The world was still quiet, and Ho-jin and Jeong-in were the only people living in this building. Perhaps that’s why the sound from the next room, which came over the thin wall, was frighteningly clear. Judging by the fact that the water was pouring and stopping, and then pouring and stopping again, he was probably taking a shower.

“……”

He felt strange for no reason.

“What, what about me? What can I do if the soundproofing isn’t good?”

He grumbled to the empty air, picked up his cell phone.

He skimmed through a few news articles, clicked on an ad below it, read letters that didn’t even catch his eye, and eventually returned to the main page. Nevertheless, the sound of water was still there, and there was nothing more to do.

Jeong-in stared at the empty search bar for a moment and tapped his fingers to write Ho-jin’s name. He was planning to ask a research company for a report anyway, but it wouldn’t hurt to know it personally. He swore, really, really, really, that it was only for research purposes.

“…Why are you smiling so happily?”

Ho-jin in the profile picture was still smiling annoyingly. When he scrolled down, all sorts of miscellaneous articles poured out. There was even an article from yesterday, even though he had only spent the whole day playing at the theme park yesterday. In all likelihood, they were advertorials that only included Ho-jin’s name in clothing or sporting goods advertisements.

After passing through them for a long time, an article that wasn’t an advertisement finally came out. But even that had only attached provocative content to the beginning of the title, and in the end, it was a clickbait article with nothing special.

<Yoo Ho-jin Confirmed to Participate in the LA Olympics…”Well”>

Thinking about all the strange things they do, he clicked on it. As expected, the main text only listed Ho-jin’s condition, which everyone already knew. What kind of injuries he had suffered, and how much rehabilitation he had done.

Jeong-in’s gaze, which had been casually flipping through the article, soon lingered on the comments section.

[Always – Thankful and Proud Athlete Yoo Ho-jin, Son of Korea – Gold Medal Fighting~~^^]

└Are you an old man?

└This guy is a concept troll, look at his comment collection

[Kraleński will get beaten again. This time, Putin will really send Ho-jin Yoo black tea.]

└Already cleared customs. Scheduled for delivery by post office today.

└Hahaha.

[Athlete Yoo Ho-jin Fighting until the Olympics! Korea is always cheering you on!]

└You haven’t done anything for him, but you only look for national pride at times like this; disgusting

└You haven’t done anything for him, so you’re cheering him on with comments; cool-disease species disgusting

Although it was a bit chaotic, people’s reactions were generally positive towards Ho-jin.

It wasn’t bad for Jeong-in, who could only protect the building if his reputation was good. But he wasn’t entirely happy.

“…The Olympics are already being talked about?”

It was more than two years before the next Olympics. Yet, the world was already pouring excessive expectations onto the twenty-one-year-old athlete who had just recovered from an injury. Without even waiting for a mere six months, they were constantly talking about the end of Yoo Ho-jin, while also presuming that he would naturally participate in the next Olympics and even win a gold medal.

He knew they didn’t mean any harm. Being at the forefront of a field and receiving the expectations and cheers of the entire nation would surely be an unparalleled honor for Ho-jin.

But what if it all crumbled?

Even if he failed to meet those high expectations, would people still be as proud of him and support him as they do now? If not, would Yoo Ho-jin, who had probably considered all these scenarios more than anyone else, really be okay?

He felt like he would be suffocating.

“…….”

It was then. Ho-jin’s voice, talking about the death of plants, suddenly flashed through my mind.

‘Good intentions can sometimes be poisonous.’

It was the first time Jeong-in had discovered a crack in the person who seemed as straight as a line drawn with a ruler. With eyes that looked like they would crumble at the slightest touch, Ho-jin had said that.

‘Actually, I’m suffocating and can’t do anything, can’t go anywhere….’

Maybe that was how he felt.

‘Eventually, even the last breathing hole is blocked, and I wither away overnight. Beyond help.’

Jeong-in quietly closed his eyes. Then, a small flowerpot appeared in the dark.

He imagined the roots rotting away unnoticed beneath the surface, while fresh water was constantly being poured in. Ho-jin’s face, smiling confidently as he said he would bring home a gold medal, followed.

“Ah….”

Jeong-in immediately jumped out of bed. He had just thought of something he needed to tell Ho-jin right away.

It was the moment he opened the front door.

“Oh, Hyung.”

“Crazy…. You scared me.”

Jeong-in ran straight into Ho-jin, who was holding a plastic bag containing breakfast. Jeong-in clutched his startled heart and took a step back.

“I’m sorry, did I surprise you?”

“No, uh.”

“But, Hyung….”

His black hair was damp. Ho-jin stared intently at Jeong-in with a clear face that hadn’t dried yet.

“…….”

Was he always this pretty?

Suddenly, his fingertips tingled. Jeong-in couldn’t bring himself to meet Ho-jin’s gaze and averted his eyes.

“Why are you so wide awake at this hour? Did you not sleep at all yesterday?”

“…Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I just couldn’t sleep.”

I couldn’t bring myself to say it was because of you, even if a knife was held to my throat. As he mumbled vaguely, Ho-jin handed Jeong-in the bag of food and asked again with a serious expression.

“Are you just wide awake, or are you a little dazed and just can’t sleep?”

“It’s nothing.”

“How is it nothing when you walked at least 20,000 steps yesterday and still can’t sleep? Have you been like this before sometimes?”

“It’s okay. I’ll catch up on sleep tonight, so don’t worry about it.”

Clutching the bag with the warmth rising from it, Jeong-in looked down at his toes.

“And….”

The words he wanted to say got stuck in his throat. Until he jumped out of bed, he was filled with the thought that he had to tell him, but when he actually stood in front of Ho-jin, it wasn’t so easy.

Was I overreacting? Ho-jin will do well on his own, so did he really need to say anything? After hesitating for a moment, Jeong-in slowly opened his mouth.

“…It doesn’t have to be a gold medal.”

“Pardon?”

Now that he had said the first word, there was no turning back.

He felt like he was dying of embarrassment, but now that he had drawn his sword, he had to cut something, even if it was just a radish.

“I’m talking about the April competition. I know it’s not a competition you’re entering because of me, but I feel like I encouraged you.”

“…….”

“Like I said before, I just wanted to see you compete. I didn’t mean to pressure you to win first place.”

He struggled to keep his toes from wiggling on top of his slippers as he continued.

“Not only I, but no one deserves to want a medal from you. This competition is necessary for you, so don’t think about other people’s reasons, just think about yourself.”

That wasn’t really what he wanted to say, but somehow the more he talked, the more tangled it seemed to get.

Jeong-in stopped beating around the bush and took a deep breath to get to the point.

“Even if you don’t win a gold medal, even if you come in last, you’re still the same Yoo Ho-jin….”

“…….”

“…So I hope you don’t feel pressured.”

No answer came from Ho-jin.

Unable to bear the silence, Jeong-in raised his head. He saw eyes staring straight at him. The continued silence became even more burdensome.

“…Anyway, I’ll enjoy this. I’ll see you later.”

It was the moment I was finally about to turn around.

“Hyung.”

Ho-jin grabbed Jeong-in’s wrist. A clean scent of soap wafted from Ho-jin, who had moved a step closer. It was a soft and gentle scent, with not a trace of ferocity.

“Please go see the flowers with me.”

He wondered what this sudden nonsense was and turned back to Ho-jin. He was looking at Jeong-in with eyes as if he were dreaming.

“I’ll prepare for the competition properly until the very end. I’ll work hard every day without even breathing.”

“Hey.”

It seemed Ho-jin couldn’t understand that Jeong-in was telling him not to push himself like that, even if he died. Jeong-in laughed in dismay, feeling absurd. Regardless, Ho-jin continued to say what he wanted to say.

“I’ll work really hard, so please, just spend one day with me next week.”

He even winked flirtatiously and urged, “Please?”

Thinking he was putting on airs, Jeong-in coldly shook off his hand. Then, he replied.

“Okay.”

“Really?”

Oh, that’s not what I meant.

“No, that’s not it.”

What’s wrong with me? Am I really broken somewhere?

“Hyung, do you like Grilled Ribs on Stone Plate? There’s a place that makes amazing Grilled Ribs on Stone Plate on the way. If you go a little further, there’s a really famous Spicy Fish Stew restaurant too…. If you don’t like either of those, should we go to a Korean Table d’hôte restaurant? No. Just pick one of these. Grilled Ribs on Stone Plate, Spicy Fish Stew, Korean Table d’hôte, Assorted Offal BBQ, Korean Style Beef Tartare.”

“…Grilled Ribs on Stone Plate?”

He answered as if he was being pushed by the rapidly spoken words.

“Oh, really? Then I’ll make a reservation for next Sunday.”

“No….”

“Then have a good day. Fighting!”

While he was momentarily stammering, Ho-jin slipped into his room.

Only when he heard the sound of the door closing did his feet move. Jeong-in entered his room with a queasy feeling.

“What the…. Why is it turning out like this.”

He began to grumble as he carefully placed the rice and side dishes on the desk.

Even so, he tapped his phone and checked the calendar once. It was only Wednesday, so there were almost ten days until next Sunday.

“…You can go see flowers alone.”

Jeon-in was upset that he couldn’t retort. Feeling somehow annoyed, he ate the rice roughly. He coughed a few times in between because his throat was blocked. Still, he felt a little better after finishing the whole bowl of rice.

Chewing on the last piece of braised lotus root, Jeong-in sighed deeply. He didn’t know why he was sighing like this.