IDSEGI Chapter 92

Chapter 92

A warm gaze. A gentle smile. Yoon Geon’s expression was similar to the way Ihan looked at Yeoul.

‘Why didn’t I notice before?’

If, in his previous life, Yoon Geon hadn’t confessed to him, Yeoul would have gone his whole life never knowing his feelings. He would have remembered him as nothing more than an older brother who felt like family.

He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to carelessly reject him and trample on the feelings Yoon Geon had kept hidden. If it stayed beneath the surface, couldn’t they keep their relationship like family?

‘At least, that’s what the current him wants.’

So, if he was the only one to keep quiet…

A large hand came down to rest on Yeoul’s bowed head.

“What are you thinking about so hard?”

Lowering his head, Yoon Geon met Yeoul’s eyes directly, giving him no chance to avoid it. Under that direct gaze, Yeoul’s lips parted slightly.

“No, it’s nothing. I just zoned out for a moment.”

At Yeoul’s excuse, a faint smile brushed across Yoon Geon’s lips.

“You’ve always been slow on the uptake.”

He reached out toward Yeoul’s cheek. The touch was so careful that Yeoul flinched. Feeling the faint tremble in Yoon Geon’s fingertips, Yeoul tried to step back, but Yoon Geon gripped his arm firmly, keeping him from escaping.

“If that’s what you’ve been worrying about, then don’t.”

“W-what do you mean…”

“Even if you’ve realized how I feel, I don’t mind. I can stay in whatever kind of relationship you want.”

Yoon Geon cupped Yeoul’s cheeks gently with both hands.

“I’ll do everything the way you want. So you don’t have to worry.”

As his soothing voice gave Yeoul a moment of relief, Yoon Geon’s Adam’s apple moved slowly.

“But… if you’re okay with it.”

His voice was uncharacteristically shaky, though his eyes stayed steady and firm.

“Give me even a small chance to slip into your heart.”

Before Yeoul could answer, Yoon Geon ruffled his hair.

“Don’t answer right away. It might not feel like it to you, but for me, it’s been five years. You should take some time to think too.”

With that playful addition, he smiled at him as warmly as always.

“I’ll be back.”

The front door opened and closed quietly. Yeoul stood there for a while, his hand resting on his head.

In the place Yoon Geon had left… there was nothing but guilt.

* * *

Not long after Yoon Geon departed, Yeoul received a text from Eunha.

Bring some bread when you come.

Seeing the message, Yeoul smiled faintly.

‘This hyung hasn’t changed a bit.’

Until he followed Ihan to Zone 1, Yeoul had been close with Eunha. Eunha would come up with some flimsy excuse to call him to the lab almost every day. Most of the time, it was to send him on errands to buy something.

Since he had been mulling over the possible connection between imprinting and a drop in match rate, the timing was perfect. He couldn’t tell Eunha everything yet since nothing was certain, but he could at least get some advice.

Stopping by the store, Yeoul bought melon bread—Eunha’s favorite—and headed to the lab.

As soon as Yeoul stepped into the hallway, the lab door burst open and Eunha came out.

“Han Yeoul! You’re here?”

Seeing Eunha come out as if he’d been waiting, Yeoul fished the bread out of his bag and handed it over.

“You really do love bread, don’t you, hyung?”

If he liked bread enough to open the door so quickly the moment Yeoul arrived, then he must have been waiting right by it.

“You like it that much?”

When Yeoul asked with a smile, Eunha gave him a reluctant look and let out a long sigh.

“Haa… forget it. Did you eat lunch?”

“Something light.”

“Light, my foot. You probably just had coffee again. I bought sandwiches. Come eat.”

When Yoon Geon wasn’t around, Eunha always made sure he ate. Now that time had rewound, Yeoul found himself newly grateful for that.

“Both you and Geon-hyung really take good care of me.”

“Boyfriends take even better care.”

“I believe that. You’d probably treat your partner really well, hyung.”

“Yeah. I’d treat them really well.”

Glancing sideways at Yeoul, Eunha trailed off. Clearing his throat, he unwrapped a sandwich and held it near Yeoul’s mouth.

“Ah, say ah.”

“I can feed myself.”

Yeoul took the sandwich from Eunha’s hand and bit into it.

When Eunha stuck a straw into a banana milk and handed it over, Yeoul smiled faintly.

“Eunha-hyung, I have hands, you know. Honestly, you kind of treat me like a kid sometimes.”

“It’s not just treating you like a kid — there’s one more word you should add to that.”

“Huh?”

“Drink your milk. You’ll choke.”

Eunha abruptly pressed the straw to Yeoul’s lips, and Yeoul sipped the milk.
When he took another bite of the sandwich, some sauce got on his lips. As Yeoul stuck out his tongue to lick it off, Eunha stared at him.

“What is it, hyung? Do I still have sauce on my lips?”

As Yeoul licked his lips this way and that, Eunha’s pupils gradually lost focus, becoming hazy. Swallowing hard, Eunha pulled the blanket draped over his chair onto his lap and pressed his knees together.

“Are you cold?”

“…Yeah. A little.”

“Well, yeah. The lab is kind of cold.”

With his head lowered, Eunha quietly chewed on the melon bread. Yeoul also chewed his sandwich slowly, lost in thought.

‘It would be nice if I could figure out why the match rate dropped.’

Until now, he had assumed it was because of the imprinting, but maybe that wasn’t the reason.

‘It could be due to an external factor, but maybe it’s actually my problem.’

Maybe it wasn’t the imprinting at all, but something wrong with himself. If something had gone wrong with his own body…

It made some sense, since when his match rate with Yoon Geon had dropped, efficiency hadn’t gone up. And after Ihan died and the imprinting was broken, when the match rate returned to normal, efficiency had risen even more.

‘If something’s wrong with me… then maybe I really should die.’

But two years from now, it was possible Ihan’s match rate with every other Guide would drop even further than it is now. If that happened and he couldn’t receive guidance from anyone—

If it wasn’t the imprinting or Yeoul’s own problem, but an external cause, that could happen. And to prevent that, Yeoul needed to live at least until two years later.

If, two months from now, Yeoul succeeded in hand-guiding Ihan, that would mean imprinting wasn’t the cause. He’d have to wait those two months before deciding anything.

‘And if, two years from now, Ihan’s match rate with other Guides hasn’t dropped any further than it is now…’

Then, at that point, really…

“Hey, Han Yeoul!”

Eunha’s voice snapped him out of his daze. Yeoul turned his head toward him.

“Huh? Did you call me?”

“You’ve been acting strange lately. Is something going on?”

“No, nothing’s going on.”

When Yeoul shook his head with a smile, Eunha studied his face with a worried expression.

“That’s not the face of someone with nothing going on.”

Maybe if he talked to Eunha, he could get a clue. Yeoul looked at him with a seriousness that was almost solemn.

“Hyung. If, just hypothetically…”

He started to move his lips but stopped. It wasn’t even certain yet that the imprinting wasn’t the cause. Worrying about this now might be pointless.

“…Never mind. Forget it.”

“Are you kidding me? What is it?”

“I feel like you’d just say I’m talking nonsense.”

“I won’t. Just say it.”

Even at Eunha’s coaxing, Yeoul still hesitated.

“Really?”

“Have I been living my life just to be tricked? What is it?”

After a pause, Yeoul cautiously spoke.

“If a match rate drops between an imprinted Esper and Guide… what kind of factors could cause that to happen?”

“What? That’s impossible.”

“I mean hypothetically.”

“If it’s after imprinting, then the imprinting’s probably the cause.”

“What if the imprinting isn’t the cause? What if it just happened around the same time by coincidence… could there be another reason?”

Eunha frowned, but after seeing the earnest look in Yeoul’s eyes, he let out a sigh.

“What’s with you lately? What’s this change in attitude?”

“It’s just, like, a ‘what if’ game.”

“I don’t get why you’d even play that kind of game.”

Grumbling, Eunha still tried to give a proper answer to match Yeoul’s pace.

“First, you’d need to figure out what changes happened before it occurred. Check if there were any changes besides the imprinting.”

“Changes besides the imprinting…”

But no matter how he thought about it, there weren’t any other changes besides the imprinting. The only thing was the improved efficiency with Yoon Geon. And now, even that wasn’t the case. So what exactly had changed? What was different between this life and the last one?

Eunha kindly added an explanation.

“Or it might not be the imprinting itself. You have to consider the possibility that some change caused by the imprinting is the reason.”

“So you mean the imprinting might not be the direct cause, but an indirect one?”

“That’s right.”

In his previous life, the researchers had conducted their studies under the assumption that the imprinting was the cause. That was because, as far as they could see, there were no other changes. And since there wasn’t enough time to explore other possibilities, they narrowed the scope and kept researching under the conclusion that imprinting was to blame.

That’s why Yeoul had always believed it was the cause. But Eunha was right—if they’d had more time, the researchers would have kept multiple possibilities open and studied them all.

And one of those possibilities was that the imprinting wasn’t the direct cause, but an indirect one.