UR Chapter 43

Chapter 43

“I-bom, I looked up how to get dumped on a blind date.”

Soo-hyun shoved his face toward I-bom, his eyes bloodshot red. From the crimson veins and the heavy, sunken dark circles, it was clear he hadn’t slept properly.

“Hyung, you didn’t sleep?”

“Yeah, I was looking this up… hwaaaahm.”

Soo-hyun let out a long yawn and shoved his phone toward him.

[20s Ne1ver TokTok / Dating.Issue Room] ★Do this and you’ll definitely get dumped★ Top turn-offs during a blind date meal

1. Saying “Buy it for me” (demanding to go somewhere expensive and have it all paid for)

2. Digging into personal background—what they do, what their family is like—and judging how much they earn

3. Splitting the bill down to the last cent

4. Chewing noisily + spilling and smearing food (messy eating)

5. Not keeping promises (being late really pisses people off! Even the friend who introduced you should get their character checked)

6. Picking at everything they say (“No, that’s wrong,” “I’m always right,” “I don’t like that”)

“Hmm… yeah, these are pretty bad.”

I-bom nodded seriously at the screen.

The comments underneath were intense. Most were along the lines of “You’d better kill them” or “Why put up with that? Throw water in their face and leave.” The flood of aggressive reactions was dizzying, but understandable.

“You’ve gotta pull off at least three of these six, okay? Oh, and I found out that feline beastmen are really obsessive about cleanliness.”

“Cleanliness?”

“Yeah. They’re also pretty OCD. We dogs, you throw us a ball and we’ll roll around and play even in the dirt, right? But felines—if there’s dirt, dust, or stones on the ground, they won’t play or run at all.”

To think that “clean freak” was literally true. As someone who’d happily eat a sausage or snack off the ground while saying, “It’s fine if you eat it within three seconds!” this was a hard trait for I-bom to wrap his head around. And to refuse to play or run if the ground was messy—his expression turned grave.

“So they wouldn’t pick up dropped snacks either?”

“Guess not?”

“My god… what a waste.”

“And they really hate people who don’t keep promises. Very OCD and, what’s it called—planner type? MBTI? Yeah, that. If you make them do something impulsive or decide on the spot, they hate it so much they’ll flop over or bare their claws.”

“That’s intense.”

It was a world he didn’t know. Which made sense—he’d spent his whole life in a dog-dominated village. Canine friends would happily chase a ball or stick through a muddy field, and even if you didn’t keep a promise exactly, as long as you came back that day it was fine. Of course, I-bom had always kept schedules and plans strictly because of his part-time jobs.

“Now imagine doing the exact opposite of everything I just said. Eat dropped snacks right in front of them, don’t keep promises, act however you want! And whatever you do, don’t accept an after-date. Oh, and…”

Soo-hyun, perched on the sofa, pouted with a dissatisfied look.

“Honestly, I heard that person’s personality is pretty scary… so it’s not like I’m sending you off with a light heart.”

“Okay…”

“If you get hit or… if something dangerous happens, you have to tell me.”

He fiddled with his fingers and trailed off. Even after going over the cautions again and again, he didn’t seem satisfied, sighing heavily.

“Mm… okay. I’ll remember.”

“Yeah, be careful. I’m sending you on a stand-in blind date, not hoping to see you on the next episode of ‘Unanswered Questions.’”

“……”

“Anyway, get back safe… and eat something nice.”

“Got it!”

I-bom clenched his fist earnestly, eyes wide open. Seeing that determined look, Soo-hyun gave a small smile.

“Fighting!”

“Leave it… to me!”

* * *

‘You have to ruin it completely! You absolutely can’t just come back normally, okay?’

In his head, I-bom could see Soo-hyun’s serious face as he hooked his pinky finger around his.

Holding the menu, I-bom quietly stole a glance at the man sitting across from him. More than his face, it was his demeanor that was so different from his dog friends. Even the small motions of putting away the book he’d been reading looked elegant.

‘He’s really handsome.’

To be honest, there was something vaguely familiar about the man’s face. If he’d seen such a striking face before, there was no way he would’ve forgotten it—but no matter how much he tried to recall, he couldn’t. It was like every memory of this man had been neatly cut out of his mind.

‘But it’s not like I would’ve ever seen someone like him in the first place.’

Maybe it was just his imagination. Or maybe it was because he looked like a celebrity, making him feel oddly familiar.

Part of him wanted to bounce excitedly like his breed’s nature dictated. He felt like blurting out, bright-eyed, “You’re so handsome! You look like a celebrity!”—and imagined the relief it would bring.

But only idiots flipped the table from the very start. He had sat with Soo-hyun and painstakingly researched “surefire ways to ruin a blind date.” The first step was to break the image the other person had through conversation.

‘If you ruin it properly, I’ll give you five million won later. Got it?’

He pictured Soo-hyun, thumb raised generously.

‘You know all those dramas these days? Regression, possession, reincarnation. We’re going with the possession concept. From now on, you’re half-crazy, with less awareness than a dog’s whisker—Dog Kang, Kang Soo-hyun.’

I’m a crazy dog, I’m a crazy dog.

I-bom bit down hard on his lower lip.

“It must have been quite cold on your way here.”

The man set down his menu and smiled gently.

Even if it was a holiday, being an hour and twenty minutes late to a fixed-time appointment was clearly intentional. He’d have had every right to flush with anger or make a cutting remark—it was undeniably rude. But there wasn’t the slightest trace of displeasure on his face. So this was what a socially polished adult man looked like.

‘I’m a crazy… no, what the hell.’

He had been seriously planning when and how to make a scene, but found himself nodding as if bewitched.

“…Yes, it was snowing.”

“Did it snow a lot? Your shoulders look damp.”

The man’s gaze dropped to I-bom’s shoulders. The cheap coat, blotched and soggy from the blizzard, looked downright shabby. Without warning, a large palm brushed his shoulder.

“I, uh, I have a bit of a cleanliness thing.”

Instinctively, I-bom twisted his body to avoid the man’s touch.

“C-could you please not touch me?”

He raised his brows sharply and spoke with a stern face.

“I see. Thank you for telling me. I’ll be careful.”

Even as I-bom turned away, cheeks burning, the man simply apologized without a hint of offense. To start with a polite greeting and still remain unbothered despite being met with petulance—he didn’t show it at all.

When the man gestured, an attentive waiter immediately approached and held out his hands politely.

“May I take your coat for you?”

“Uh, I’m fine.”

I-bom leaned back, expression stiff. It should have been easy to refuse sharply, but he’d never done that in his life. In his mind, he could almost hear his friend Jin-sang snickering, “You really are a pushover.”

“I just… want to keep it on.”

“Wearing wet clothes will make you catch a cold.”

“This is my comfort coat.”

“A comfort coat?”

“Yes, um. My grandma bought it for me, and it’s my favorite, so I even sleep hugging it.”

A comfort coat? What kind of nonsense was that for a grown man? Still, he dug his heels in. The coat, a shabby duffle covered in pilling and stained from snow, didn’t belong in a luxury hotel. If he kept it on, maybe the man would be embarrassed to be seen with him.

“S-so it’s just that precious to me.”

But instead, the man was listening intently, his expression almost touched.

“So you wore something precious to you for our date.”

…Wait, what?

“I also wanted to look good for you, Soo-hyun, so I picked the outfit I thought suited me best. I was worried how I’d come across, but I guess we’re on the same wavelength.”

The man was dressed in a suit that was impressive by any standard. And here he was saying he’d dressed like this just to look good for him? The thought alone was unbearably embarrassing. I-bom coughed awkwardly.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.

“O-okay, I’ll take it off.”

I-bom quickly shrugged off his coat and handed it to the waiter. With the shabby coat gone, the garish checkered shirt and cargo pants covered in pockets were on full display. He caught the brief widening of the waiter’s eyes, but turned his head away as if he hadn’t noticed.