ICYM Ch 34

Episode 34

Kendrick had to admit he’d been arrogant.

When he asked Hayden about what university he was planning to go to or what he wanted to do in the future, he’d been so excited, thinking they were getting closer. Looking back, he felt like a complete fool.

He’d believed that if he just continued to approach slowly, things would work out eventually, but as if mocking those thoughts, Hayden suddenly stopped coming to the garden one day without any warning.

At first, Kendrick thought Hayden was just too busy to visit often. But it didn’t take long for him to realize the truth.

Hayden was avoiding the garden on purpose.

Was it because he suddenly lost interest in Coco and Nabi?

Was there something that prevented him from coming to the garden?

No, that couldn’t be it. In the end, it all pointed to one conclusion.

Is it because of me?

He couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason, but he had a few guesses.

Maybe Hayden had heard the bad rumors about him. Or maybe it was difficult for an Omega like Hayden to hang out with an Alpha like him.

…Or maybe Hayden had realized that Kendrick liked him.

It was frustrating how the unspoken rule of not talking to each other when others were around suddenly felt so suffocating.

A relationship where the distance between them was just enough that no one found it odd if they drifted apart.

He’d been the one to suggest it, and yet he couldn’t help but feel hurt.

He rested his chin on his hand and sighed. Even when he checked his phone, though it showed that his messages had been read, there were no replies.

Kendrick stared at the screen as it faded to black again. He let out a sigh through slightly parted lips, making his bangs flutter.

Before he met Hayden, he used to genuinely enjoy being alone in this place; it had been his only solace. But now, being alone here felt endlessly boring.

The only ones who knew the two of them used to talk were Coco and Nabi.

“Don’t you guys miss him?”

He knew it was a pointless question, but he said it anyway as though confiding.

At his words, Coco and Nabi, who were lying a little distance away, responded as if they understood.

“Meowrk!”

“Woof! Huff, huff, huff.”

“…Right.”

He had no idea what they were saying, but it was clear they couldn’t care less.

They seemed so content now, their bodies plumper than ever. Clearly, Coco and Nabi had grown very comfortable here, completely unaware of how Kendrick felt.

Maybe I’ve been overfeeding them. He’d bought all those snacks, hoping to share them with Hayden, and probably ended up giving the animals too much.

Kendrick was surprised at this side of himself he hadn’t known. Even though he sensed that Hayden wanted to distance himself, not because of anyone else’s influence but out of his own will, Kendrick couldn’t bring himself to give up.

Whenever they happened to run into each other, which was rare, what struck Kendrick wasn’t irritation but a sense of relief. Even when Hayden looked at him with a face full of caution and wariness, it made him feel unexpectedly glad.

…So that’s what he looks like when he’s hiding his expressions.

At first, Kendrick had thought Hayden was just being blunt, not even bothering to hide his reactions. But after watching him for a while, he realized it was the opposite.

It wasn’t that Hayden disliked him. It wasn’t that he was trying to openly ignore him either.

Then what was it?

Nervousness, wariness, and guilt were the emotions Kendrick could read in his expression, all tangled and complicated.

He wanted to ask Hayden why he was suddenly avoiding him. He was desperate to return to how things had been before—no, even better than before. The impatience was gnawing at him.

But acting hastily would only ruin everything. Kendrick decided to take things slowly. After all, there was still plenty of time.

* * *

That didn’t mean he was going to just wait around, hoping for a coincidence.

If he wanted a coincidence to happen, then he’d just have to create the conditions for it himself.

And so, the best he could come up with was walking up and down the stairs.

It was a place everyone in the dorm had to use at some point, the perfect spot to “accidentally” bump into someone. And if he was lucky, he might catch a moment alone with him, even if just for a short while.

Mr. Higgins had no choice but to witness Kendrick going up and down the stairs repeatedly all Sunday afternoon.

Unable to hold back his curiosity, the dorm supervisor finally asked Kendrick, “Are you doing stair exercises or something?”

“…I’m just having trouble digesting.”

It had already been a good hour or two since lunch, even if he’d eaten late. Mr. Higgins looked at him with a puzzled expression, but perhaps thinking there was no reason to lie, his eyes softened as he asked with concern, “Do you want me to get you some antacids?”

Have I been here too long?

“…No, it’s okay. I’ll head in soon,” Kendrick said, shaking his head. Just a little longer, he thought.

Just when he was starting to think even this wouldn’t lead to a meeting, Hayden appeared with his arms full of laundry, coming down the stairs.

Kendrick happened to be on his way up at the same time, while Hayden had already descended a few steps.

The moment they locked eyes, Hayden kept coming down as if nothing was wrong, but Kendrick had already read the telltale signs of fluster on his face.

“Hey,” Kendrick said, feigning calm even more deliberately now.

Seeing Hayden again after so long made all the bitterness and frustration he’d felt at being ignored start to melt away.

Realizing that he might’ve been staring too openly at Hayden’s face as he responded to the greeting, Kendrick noticed Hayden glance at him and awkwardly ask, “…Is there something on my face?”

“…Yeah.”

“Seriously…?”

“Yeah.”

“Where?”

As Hayden clumsily fumbled around the wrong spots, Kendrick unconsciously reached out his hand.

“…Here.”

He swallowed dryly as his fingers landed on Hayden’s soft, milk-white cheek. It felt like pulling his hand away now would make things even more awkward, so he lightly brushed his fingers across Hayden’s skin.

Hayden, who had drawn in a startled breath, let it out in a long exhale. The moment that warm breath touched Kendrick’s wrist, he hastily withdrew his hand.

It felt as though Hayden’s breath had entered directly into his veins.

Am I losing my mind?

Hayden, clearly flustered too, muttered a quick thank-you and practically bolted.

Kendrick had wanted to talk more, but he’d let his impulses get the better of him, and now the moment was gone.

Feeling regretful, he looked in the direction Hayden had gone and spotted something lying in the middle of the stairway, having fallen from Hayden’s laundry basket. Its color stood out vividly.

“…Ha.”

Kendrick let out an uncharacteristic laugh.

Hayden had left something behind like Cinderella, but instead of a glass slipper… it was a pair of underwear.

Staring after Hayden’s retreating figure, who had left his underwear lying in the hallway, Kendrick thought Hayden would surely blush again, thinking he’d shown yet another disgraceful side of himself. But Kendrick liked it; it left him no time to be bored.

Without hesitation, Kendrick skipped three steps at a time and raced upstairs, not toward the laundry room, but back to his room.

He had already done his laundry yesterday. Still, he threw a few clothes, freshly washed from the day before, into his laundry basket, then grabbed a book from the reading list for next semester’s English literature class. If he was lucky, maybe he could use it as an excuse to linger near Hayden.

Click.

When he entered the laundry room, Hayden was the only one there since it was an odd hour.

Hayden, who must’ve been too lazy to go back and forth between the washer and dryer, had simply taken a seat and settled in.

Not wanting his presence as an Alpha to feel threatening, Kendrick walked straight to the window and opened it. Hayden gave him a puzzled look, but Kendrick was glad he’d done it.

The warm, cozy scent of the laundry room reminded him of Hayden’s pheromones, and if it weren’t for the cool breeze flowing in through the open window, he would’ve flushed red on the spot and completely given himself away.

Kendrick intentionally kept his eyes on his book. He could try to start a conversation, but just being here in this peaceful atmosphere felt nice, too.

But surprisingly, it was Hayden who broke the silence first.

“About Coco and Nabi…”

“Uh, yeah.”

“I didn’t stop going to see them. I’ve just been visiting in the mornings lately.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

So he sees Coco and Nabi in the morning. No wonder he hasn’t felt the need to visit again later.

Kendrick didn’t know why Hayden suddenly brought this up, but from the solemn tone in his voice, it didn’t seem like a random comment.

At that moment, he suddenly pictured Coco and Nabi, lying around without a care in the world, their bodies plump and content. Unlike him, they weren’t waiting for anything, and that ease hadn’t come from nowhere.

“…Ah.”

There was no way they could’ve gained that much weight just because he’d been giving them a little extra food. He recalled their shameless faces, pretending like they hadn’t eaten a thing.

So that’s why they put on weight so fast.

As Kendrick was lost in thought, Hayden, who had been watching his face, continued with what sounded like his actual main point.

“The cat… What happened to it? The one you said you took to the vet back then.”

Kendrick had taken the cat to the animal hospital, but afterward, it ended up choosing Jason, the butler who had been checking in on it in Kendrick’s place, and now lived with him.

If I say I brought it home… and tell him he’s welcome to come by anytime to see it, would that seem too obvious?

While Kendrick was still debating how to respond, he noticed Hayden’s expression had turned oddly tense.

“It got adopted.”

“Adopted?”

“There was someone who got chosen by that cat…”

That much should be fine to say, right?

He planned to tell Hayden the full story once they got a little closer—that the person who’d adopted the cat worked at his house, and that he was welcome to visit anytime.

Before their conversation could continue, the washing machine let out a chime and stopped.

Not wanting Hayden to notice that he was following him out, Kendrick waited until his own laundry was done.

Of course, when he stepped outside, Hayden was already gone.

…Unpleasant pheromones.

Only a faint trace of an unpleasant Alpha pheromone remained in the hallway.

Pheromones are deeply affected by emotion. In the case of a recessive Alpha, if they weren’t in a relationship or very close, it could often go unnoticed. But Kendrick was sensitive enough to pick up on it.

These were definitely pheromones released in a state of agitation or arousal.

Kendrick furrowed his brows. Amid the fading scent, he could detect a very faint metallic tang.