IPSTDS Chapter 88

Chapter 88

At that voice, Nahyuk’s steps stopped. His body reacted before he even had time to think.

When he turned back again almost reflexively, he saw Seo Dowoong with his eyes open, though he didn’t know since when. His barely lifted eyelids trembled faintly.

“Stay by my side.”

* * *

Seo Dowoong took such meticulous care of himself that he could count on one hand the times he had fallen ill. He hated nothing more than having his condition interfere with work.

And yet recently, for several days in a row, he had been feeling unwell. He knew the reason for his faltering condition.

It began with his inability to sleep.

From the day he last met Yoon Noah, after hearing those shocking words, he hadn’t once truly fallen asleep.

‘I like another man more.’

‘…It’s not Lee Kangil, is it?’

‘Yes, it’s Lee Kangil. In fact, we both like each other.’

Those words kept echoing in his ears, and he couldn’t stop thinking of Yoon Noah’s face, slightly flushed, when he had been on the phone with Lee Kangil that day.

It was bearable enough while he was working. But when he returned home and tried to sleep, that image resurfaced with even sharper clarity.

As time passed, his mood worsened to the point of resentment. Here he was, practically covering Noah’s role in the company, while Noah seemed busy flirting with Lee Kangil.

Even so, Seo Dowoong held on to his pride and never reached out to Noah.

Instead, he chose to do the very thing Noah had secretly wanted: help with company matters. Even though Noah had snapped at him like a sulky child, insisting he wouldn’t get involved in work…

Seo Dowoong still remembered something Yoon Noah had said long ago, back in high school.

‘If I were a much better person, would my family have acknowledged me? Sometimes I imagine what it would have been like to live properly as a member of the family, to be a famous successor like you.’

Yoon Noah had spoken as though he desperately wanted recognition from the family that had abandoned him. Seo Dowoong had felt the sincerity in that confession.

Yes, that recognition you longed for so much from your family. If I can make sure you receive it—even if belatedly—then you’ll finally realize just how badly you’ve wronged me all this time.

And then you’ll return to the Noah you used to be. Seo Dowoong had no doubt of it.

He threw himself into the project where he had forced Noah’s name. Even while dealing with the turmoil of breaking off his relationship with Kim Daon, he did nothing but work.

What was strange was that the thought of winning back Noah’s heart weighed heavier than any lingering attachment to Kim Daon. Seo Dowoong didn’t bother to examine the reason for that strangeness, instead devoting himself wholly to his work.

As a result, he managed to gain a measure of recognition from Yoon Taesik, which allowed him to meet Yoon Noah today.

How absurd it was, then, that Noah, who had brushed off his calls without hesitation, showed up neatly dressed for his appointment with Yoon Taesik.

And yet, Noah still refused to even glance his way, as if still angry. Seo Dowoong couldn’t quite figure out what exactly had provoked him this far.

Was it because he had ignored him? Because he had treated him harshly?

But there had always been reasons for all that coldness.

He had pushed Noah away because he trespassed into his home, forced his feelings onto him, harassed Kim Daon… reasons like that.

Still, apart from those reasons, the way Yoon Noah pouted with puffed-up cheeks was strangely amusing. No—rather than amusing…

Cute.

Yes, so cute that his gaze kept drifting toward him.

Watching that cute display reminded him of Yoon Noah back in high school. He had found him so endearing back then.

Recalling that younger Noah, Seo Dowoong tried to draw his attention. He even went so far as to place the side dishes Noah liked in front of him.

One uncharacteristic gesture after another.

Perhaps it was because the fever that had started yesterday still hadn’t gone down, making his mind hazy and causing him to act as though drunk.

But as soon as Yoon Taesik left, Noah lashed out at him.

Why did you lie and put me in a difficult position? I don’t appreciate your lies… His slightly sharp eyes grew even fiercer.

With that look, it seemed he might soon bare his fangs and bite, just like the nickname “wildcat” suited him.

Yet strangely enough, Seo Dowoong didn’t feel angry or irritated.

Perhaps it was because his fever had risen higher and he couldn’t think clearly, or perhaps because of his determination to bring Noah back to how he used to be.

If anything, he felt good. Because the Noah who criticized him at least looked him in the eyes. He wasn’t being ignored.

When Seo Dowoong pulled Noah’s frail wrist and nearly embraced him, he couldn’t help but admit it.

‘It seems I really do care about Yoon Noah.’

The sudden change in Noah, who seemed like a completely different person now and openly rejected him, kept bothering him. Enough to wonder if maybe he even liked him.

Of course, it wasn’t because Noah, who had once fixated on him, had turned his eyes toward someone else, like Lee Kangil, as Noah himself had accused.

Rather, it was because this changed Noah reminded him of the Noah from long ago—before Park Sangcheol interfered—when their relationship had been unusually close.

Back then, Seo Dowoong had harbored feelings for Noah that went deeper than simple friendship.

But he had lacked courage and feared others’ eyes, so he forced himself to ignore them.

If people knew he liked another man, he had thought he would face harsh censure from everyone. He was not just anyone’s son, but the heir under constant public scrutiny.

Of course, now that years had passed and he had matured into an adult who held the position of executive director, he no longer thought that way. No one could challenge his authority anymore.

And even the fact that he liked a man, he felt, could be hidden skillfully. It was nothing like when he was a young and insecure high schooler.

Back then, though, he had used Park Sangcheol as an excuse to distance himself from Noah. As if cutting off a budding emotion. And later, when Noah plotted something with Park Sangcheol, his feelings had withered completely.

Years later, when Noah saw signs of him getting close to Kim Daon, he sabotaged him with absurd, petty tricks.

The childish and ridiculous antics had made Noah detestable. His eyes, clouded with jealousy, had been chilling.

But the Noah who now declared he no longer liked him had clear, luminous eyes. Eyes so transparent they reflected others, with not a trace of negativity.

It must have been then that Noah began to matter to him again.

That strange feeling he had once cut down by turning away seemed to revive. Perhaps that was why he couldn’t accept the reality of Noah rejecting him now.

Seo Dowoong, his voice heavy with regret, wished desperately that Noah would look back at him even a little.

Even if you’ve grown close with Lee Kangil recently, you liked me for years. Can feelings like that really vanish so easily?

“Noah, don’t you think this is your chance right now?”

I’ll give you the chance to come back. This time, I won’t neglect you like before.

Yet Noah stubbornly rejected him. The refusal in his voice made Seo Dowoong’s chest ache.

Meanwhile, his fever continued to rise, and his vision began to blur.

Was it because of his clouded sight? Through the mist, Noah looked even more beautiful than usual. Those lips, which only ever uttered sharp words, gleamed.

He wanted to press his lips against them as he had days ago, to push Noah into submission again. His body reacted before his mind could decide.

Seo Dowoong leaned closer, but his fever was so overwhelming it caused his head to collapse.

In the end, he couldn’t even reach Noah’s lips. Instead, his face fell against Noah’s shoulder.

Even though he hadn’t kissed him, leaning against him like this wasn’t so bad. After so long, the warmth of another person didn’t feel unpleasant.

What more could he say so that Noah wouldn’t push him away?

So that he could feel more of his warmth?

Perhaps he had always known the answer.

Seo Dowoong’s harsh coldness had been unbearable for Noah, who, every time he was berated, looked at him with tearful eyes, yearning for him to just say “that.”

Seo Dowoong finally said the words for the first time.

“…I’m sorry.”

And then, as if a fuse had blown, he lost consciousness. He couldn’t endure anymore.

When he awoke again, he remembered hearing those words.

“With that mouth shut for once, you almost look tolerable.”

Half praise, half insult—words that stuck in his ears. He knew immediately whose voice it was.

Before his eyes were even fully open, Seo Dowoong spoke.

“…Don’t go.”

The words seemed to work, because Noah turned back.

“Stay by my side.”

Seo Dowoong knew then that Noah, despite his sharp demeanor, had a soft heart.

He furrowed his brow on purpose, trying to stir up Noah’s pity. As if to say, I’m sick and lonely right now, so don’t leave me.

Noah gave no answer, only stood there.

Seo Dowoong seized the chance, stretching out a hand and lightly brushing his fingertips against Noah’s.

“I’m sick, aren’t I?”

At last, Noah’s lips, which had only given silence, parted.

“…Let me ask you one thing.”

“What is it?”

“I know it’s a ridiculous question, but… do you, by any chance, like me?”