IPSTDS Chapter 89

Chapter 89

Seo Dowoong was too proud to apologize easily.

And yet, he had apologized to Yoon Noah. Even if it had been an impulsive apology driven by fever, that didn’t mean it hadn’t carried sincerity.

So when asked whether he liked him, there was no reason not to be honest.

Rather than hiding his feelings and letting Noah grow closer to Lee Kangil, it was better to confess them plainly.

“If I say I like you, what will you do?”

“……”

“It sounds crazy, but from the moment you said you didn’t like me, you’ve been on my mind.”

“…You really are insane.”

“I know you’ve been spending time with Lee Kangil because of me. But you don’t have to anymore. Because now, I’ve come to like you.”

Noah shook free the hand that had been holding his loosely.

“Don’t tell me you broke up with Daon because of me?”

“That’s… a separate matter. I realized Daon and I just weren’t compatible. He felt the same way too.”

Noah’s answer was a sigh. He clearly disliked this situation.

Why? Even if things had been quiet for a while, wasn’t this still a confession from someone he had once liked for so long?

This wasn’t the reaction Seo Dowoong had expected.

Of course, he hadn’t thought Noah would be happy, but he had at least expected confusion. And he was sure that confusion would mean a positive sign.

He had planned to press him in that moment of uncertainty, to make Noah focus only on him again like before.

To keep him from ever getting close to Lee Kangil again.

But Noah didn’t look confused at all. As if he no longer had a shred of feeling left for him.

…How could that be? To completely erase those feelings and claim to dislike him?

Unable to believe it, Seo Dowoong opened his mouth again.

“I like you, Yoon Noah.”

It was an even firmer confession than before.

But the answer that came was one he had grown far too familiar with.

“Sorry, Seo Dowoong. I don’t like you.”

The words he had heard most often from Noah of late.

Seo Dowoong felt as though his heart had been ripped to shreds. Until now, only his fever had made his head swim, but now his chest ached too.

“I can’t bring myself to say cruel things to someone who’s sick. Just rest. I’ll be going.”

Drawing a clear line, Noah turned his back on him. This time, Seo Dowoong couldn’t even bring himself to grab him. He hesitated, afraid of being rejected yet again.

Left alone at last, Seo Dowoong rubbed his face as though to wash it dry.

He desperately wished this impossible reality was just a dream.

But the throbbing headache told him otherwise—that all of this was reality.

* * *

Nahyuk left Seo Dowoong’s officetel as if fleeing and caught a taxi. Even though no one was chasing him or threatening him, his breath kept coming short.

Curled up tightly, Nahyuk exhaled raggedly. The strained sound of his breathing made the taxi driver glance at him through the rearview mirror.

Not wanting to worry an innocent stranger, Nahyuk closed his eyes and quieted his breath.

In the darkened vision behind his eyelids, Lee Kangil’s mischievous face surfaced faintly. Thinking of him calmed his heart a little.

Then Kim Daon’s smiling face came to mind. Remembering Daon’s clear smile steadied Nahyuk’s breathing back to normal.

He finally opened his eyes and took a deep breath. And then, he recalled Seo Dowoong’s words that had thrown him into turmoil.

‘I like you, Yoon Noah.’

Even though he had heard them clearly, it was still a confession too hard to believe.

Maybe Seo Dowoong had gone mad from the fever. Or perhaps the shock of breaking things off with Kim Daon had unsettled his mind.

Whatever the reason, Seo Dowoong didn’t seem to be in his right mind. No—he had to be out of his mind.

When his fever broke and he returned to his senses, Nahyuk hoped he would realize that confession had been a mistake and lash out at him again. That he’d say he only misspoke because he’d fallen for his tricks. That he should never show himself before him again.

Then, just as Seo Dowoong wished, they would no longer have anything to do with each other.

But thinking back on his strange behaviors lately, it wasn’t entirely impossible that the confession had been genuine.

Nahyuk had to admit that, unlike in the original story, Seo Dowoong had shown an interest in him.

Still, Nahyuk neither welcomed his attention nor felt stirred by his confession. Even though he had been confessed to by a man flawless in everything except character—looks, ability, status.

Before possession and after, Nahyuk’s desire had been only one thing: to experience a love worth remembering.

Even if his health worsened and he didn’t live long, he thought he’d be fine as long as he had known true love before dying.

Living long without ever once experiencing love seemed worse.

To Nahyuk, Seo Dowoong was like poison. He couldn’t imagine having a beautiful love with someone so willful.

Seo Dowoong had even said he only became interested in him after he declared he disliked him. Which meant, if Nahyuk confessed he liked him again, Dowoong’s interest might fade just as quickly.

That kind of love—so twisted and troublesome—was not the love he wanted. If you like someone, you like them. If you don’t, you don’t. A fickle love like that was unbearable.

While he was lost in thought, the taxi came to a stop.

Getting out, Nahyuk dragged his heavy legs like waterlogged cotton. Then he spotted a tall man leaning against a wall.

Even from a distance, the man drew attention. He flicked a lighter open and lit a cigarette.

The world had long since gone dark, and in the dim flame that flickered like a firefly, the man’s face looked strikingly beautiful—like some unknown actor in an old film.

Had his gaze lingered too long? The man turned his eyes toward him. As soon as he noticed Nahyuk, he ground out the freshly lit cigarette and waved.

“Darling!”

That one word shattered the perfect mood he carried.

It was as if a scene from a silent film had suddenly turned into a modern romantic comedy.

But Nahyuk didn’t dislike it. He liked the brightness Kangil brought with him.

Smiling softly, he waved back at the one and only person who called him “darling”—Lee Kangil.

With his long strides, Kangil crossed the distance in an instant and draped an arm naturally over Nahyuk’s shoulders.

“Where were you? I was waiting forever.”

Pressing his cheek against his, Kangil carried the scent of cologne mixed with a faint trace of tobacco.

Come to think of it, Kangil had never smoked in front of him since they started spending time together. Perhaps it was his way of being considerate.

Even as his cheek was squashed under Kangil’s rubbing, Nahyuk didn’t push him away but answered instead.

“You’re the one—why didn’t you pick up all day?”

“Ah… my phone broke. Sorry, did you worry?”

“Of course I worried.”

Kangil chuckled out loud, as if he liked the sound of that.

“Today just wasn’t my day. Dropped my phone and ended up stepping on it, smashed it to pieces. I thought my darling would be worried, so I rushed here as soon as I got off work.”

He pulled his face back slightly, tilting his head as he looked carefully at Nahyuk. Then he spoke.

“But what’s with your face?”

“Hm? What about my face?”

“You look awful. Who upset my darling?”

“……”

Would hearing an unwelcome confession count as being upset?

His lips didn’t move. He didn’t know where to begin, how to explain the day’s events.

“Let’s go in first. Looks like you’ve got a lot to tell me.”

Sharp-eyed Kangil guided him forward by the shoulder. Nahyuk leaned against him as they went inside.

The warmth radiating from him washed away the hardships of the day. If he could, Nahyuk wanted to stay in his arms for a long time.

* * *

After hearing everything, Lee Kangil let out a sigh. His expression was deeply twisted, unable to hide his displeasure.

Seeing his displeasure actually made Nahyuk feel relieved.

If Kangil had no feelings for him, he might have simply smiled at the chance to mock Seo Dowoong while playing the role of a lover.

But instead, he was frowning. That was proof enough.

After some thought, as if weighing his words, Kangil finally spoke.

“Setting aside everything else, there’s one thing I have to ask.”

“What is it?”

“Even after hearing that confession, do you still dislike Seo Dowoong?”

“……”

“I’m asking if, even for a single moment, your heart wavered.”