SSL 3

Jaehyun slung his bag over his shoulder and quickened his pace. If he caught the bus now, he could arrive before 5:15. He did not care about being late for school, but he did not want to be late for something he was getting paid for. This was less a matter of obeying rules and more a matter of responsibility.

As he walked out of the main gate, across the newly painted crosswalk, and to the bus stop, sweat quickly formed on the part of his back pressed against his bag. While waiting in line among the bustling students, he let his eyes rest on a random spot across the street, and large letters came into focus. Just like how loud shouts would naturally catch one’s ear.

[Adamantly Oppose the Construction of a Crematorium]

[A Crematorium in a Clean Area, What Nonsense! Reflect on Your Bureaucratic Administration]

Placards posted on the fence of the apartment complex. A fierce font gleamed on the red cloth.

As he was unconsciously reading the lines of text from end to end, Jaehyun felt his gaze being pulled down to the lower left. Just as it happens when one discovers something even slightly fresh in a worn-out landscape, it was a sensation of his field of vision naturally narrowing to focus on that one shape.

A white face, a slender neck, a gray hooded jacket.

Isn’t he hot? That was the first sentence that came to mind.

It was a day where June was slowly deepening. The morning’s rain had long since cleared, and the midday heat had pooled in the air like in a poorly draining sink. Yet Doyoon was walking with the zipper of his hoodie, worn over his summer uniform, pulled up to his neck. With his shoulders even hunched as if he were cold.

His steps were slow and often scattered irregularly. That’s unexpected. Jaehyun let out an involuntary, hollow laugh.

He had expected him to walk with his head bowed low, just like in the classroom. Looking down only at the ground as if it were his desk. But instead, Doyoon was walking while looking around here and there in a strangely restless manner. Then he would suddenly flinch and stop, his knees faltering as if startled. From where Jaehyun was looking, there was nothing in particular there. If anything, it was just the cars parked along the main road.

Maybe he really is a bit of a weird kid. Jaehyun once again found himself picking up that sentence in his head. He was a voluntary loner now, but if he was like that when he was younger, he might have been bullied. No, he probably was.

By the time they are in high school, kids tend to make an effort not to do things that are too childish. But in elementary or middle school, they do not have that kind of awareness yet. A blue bus stopped in front of the bus stop sign. As soon as the doors opened, the kids squeezed inside, and Jaehyun quickly beeped his card and got on.

---

“Cha Jaehyun. You, me, and the class president, let’s have a study group for the finals.”

The next day, during the break between the end of morning assembly and first period, Woo Jincheol plopped himself down on the edge of the desk in front of Jaehyun and struck up a conversation.

Yang Juhwan originally sat in front of Jaehyun, but he was on duty this week, so his seat was often empty. Thanks to that, Woo Jincheol was visiting every day and perching his butt there as if it were his own seat. Jaehyun shook his head.

“Can’t.”

“Why, man? My Korean history score was higher than yours on the joint entrance exam.”

“It’s not that, it’s just… it’s hard to match it with my part-time job hours. I have my club, too.”

“I heard that concert band is basically a self-study club. That everyone just takes out their instruments and studies.”

“Anyway.”

Jaehyun mumbled vaguely. It was difficult to say that he had a prior engagement.

To say that he had to keep his schedule open and wait because he might be studying with Doyoon. Woo Jincheol would probably get angry, asking why he would ditch him to study with a kid like that, and the class president would guess right away. That the homeroom teacher had asked him to look after Kang Doyoon.

He hated being thought of as a ‘good kid who looks after a pitiful friend at the homeroom teacher’s request.’ Jaehyun thought it would be better to keep it a secret for a while if he did end up studying with Doyoon. It seemed like Doyoon would prefer that anyway.

Even after Jaehyun refused, Jincheol stayed put and pestered him a few more times. He only stood up after Juhwan returned, and with a somewhat wronged expression on his face, he finally went back to his own seat only after seeing the first-period math teacher come in.

“Number 7, number 15, come up and solve it.”

Watching the two kids go up to the blackboard, Jaehyun furrowed his brow slightly. It was because a strange memory was on the verge of surfacing. But in the end, no clear picture came to mind.

Second period was gym. As all the kids changed into their ugly purple gym uniforms and gathered in the auditorium, the gym teacher immediately gave instructions. They were to form groups of four and practice underhand and overhand volleyball passes while rotating the ball. He said these were the skills that would be used for the physical education performance evaluation criteria.

Jaehyun formed a group with Juhwan, Kim Yoon, and Jincheol as usual. The other kids also formed groups and scattered to find their spots. Just then, a sound of dispute could be heard from a spot close to Jaehyun’s group.

“Just stand there, at least. I will give you the ball easy. You don’t have to toss, just catch it and throw it… No, your knee doesn’t hurt. Hey, Kang Doyoon!”

A voice that was almost a shout.

The surroundings became quiet. Gazes were drawn. Jaehyun looked over too and saw Kang Doyoon standing with his arm held by another boy. With his lips pressed firmly together and his face all scrunched up. Soon, a voice like a yellow bird popped out from between those lips.

“My knee hurts. I am going to tell the teacher and sit out.”

“Practice passing with us today. You do this every time, so…”

The boy lowered his voice drastically. However, Jaehyun heard it clearly. It was lowered out of consideration for the teacher who was standing far away, flipping through the attendance book, not really so that the kids around would not hear.

“The gym teacher thinks we’re ostracizing you. Why should we get scolded?”

Ah. Jaehyun immediately grasped the situation.

So it wasn’t just the homeroom teacher who noticed. The gym teacher must have been getting concerned about Doyoon, too. So he must have grabbed a suitable kid and asked him to include Doyoon in his group. And he would have added a subtle reprimand. Why are you guys ostracizing such a small kid, the poor thing keeps making excuses and sitting out, he would have said.

“…Did you get scolded because of me?”

A tiny, shrunken whisper.

“No, well…”

The boy who had just complained could not answer readily. Jaehyun, too, could not take his eyes off Doyoon’s face. A deathly pale face. As if a white powder, like plaster dust, would rub off if you touched it.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine… Then let’s do it together. Let’s go.”

“Okay.”

Doyoon nodded and followed as the boy led him.

The kids watched them for a moment. They seemed to think it was unexpected. But soon they turned their backs to focus on their own practice, and only Jaehyun stood there, watching Doyoon for a little longer. Until Doyoon settled into a circle with his group members in a corner of the auditorium. What the.

He is following that obediently?

Until now, he has put up such a wall whenever kids asked him to do anything, and now he is acting so meekly? As if he heard something terrifying. Does he hate it that much? I mean…

<Did you get scolded because of me? …I am sorry.>

“…”

“Hey, hey. Cha Jaehyun! You not gonna play?”

“Sorry.”

Jaehyun snapped to his senses and sent the ball over.

Jaehyun’s team of four were all good at sports. The rally went on endlessly. It finally broke when Kim Yoon tried to receive the ball with his hands but took it with his face, yelping, “Ah, damn,” and clutching his nose. Taking advantage of the break, Jaehyun glanced over towards Doyoon’s group.

He could see Doyoon throwing the ball. He was not passing it volleyball-style. He was carefully catching the ball that came to him with both hands and then throwing it back to the other person.

It was a very deliberate motion. He carefully aimed, trying to send the ball precisely above the opponent’s head or wrist. So that the opponent could respond with a good mix of overhand and underhand passes. But perhaps because his athletic skills were poor, he kept missing the target slightly.

If he had bumped it back with a pass instead of catching and throwing, it would have flown off in a completely wrong direction most of the time. That must be why he was doing that. Even if it meant he was not getting any practice himself and was just thoroughly helping others practice.

He is scared. Jaehyun guessed with conviction. That kid is scared of causing trouble for others.

An unwitting smile crept onto his lips. He felt like he knew how to persuade Doyoon.

Second period ended with his back quite soaked. Jaehyun roughly wiped his body with a towel in the locker room and returned to the main building. He waited until lunchtime, then asked his friends for their understanding and stayed behind, saying he would go down to the cafeteria a little later. And once the classroom was empty except for one person, he slowly approached him.

“Have you thought about the study group?”

“…”

“Those earplugs aren’t made of solid iron, are they? If you can hear me, give me an answer.”

“I don’t want to.”

Doyoon spoke without raising his head, then frowned. It was because Jaehyun had suddenly knelt on one knee in front of his desk and was looking up at him. Then, he began in a deliberately serious tone.

“Hey, Kang Doyoon. Why do you think I’m clinging to you like this? The homeroom teacher asked me to.”

Under the shadow of his bangs, Doyoon’s eyes widened slightly. Jaehyun continued smoothly, just as he had prepared.

“Last midterms, our class’s grades were not good compared to the other classes. I guess he wants to pull them up for the finals. But he can’t do anything about the kids who have no intention of trying, so he told me to try helping kids like you who study hard but don’t get good scores. He picked me specifically because I’m so good at studying.”

“…”

“He said he’d buy me meat if your grades improve by the finals. And that he’d write a few lines in my student record. He can’t force you, so it’s up to you whether you cooperate or not, but honestly… If you don’t cooperate, I’ll feel bad towards the homeroom teacher because of you, and I won’t get those things. So there’s that.”

After finishing his speech, Jaehyun just stood there silently, looking at Doyoon’s face. He could almost hear his breathing. He could see his shoulders rising and falling.

“…I’ll do it.”

The answer came faster than he had expected. Jaehyun nodded his head.

“Alright. Then let’s set a time. How about this weekend?”

“Okay.”

“I’m free on Saturday. I’m available anytime from nine to four, so you choose. Since it’s our first time, let’s just do two hours. To check your level and make a plan.”

He felt a little sorry as he spoke. It felt like he was taking advantage of a weakness. It also served as a reconfirmation. This kid really hates being a burden to others.

Did something happen to him? But Jaehyun shook his head. There was no need to be curious about unnecessary things. Let’s just focus on the original goal.

“You do want to get good grades, right? You study hard.”

“…Yeah.”

“Then I’ll help you. I told you before. I’ve taught someone before. As for the place…”

Jaehyun did not think for long before he spoke. His older sister goes to her studio on Saturdays, too. There was no reason not to use the empty house.

“How about my place? No one will be there. This is the address, if it’s not far from your house, come here.”

“…”

As he held out a Post-it note with the address written on it, Doyoon’s brow furrowed. Jaehyun asked gently.

“Is it too far?”

“…No.”

A small voice, a small movement. He shook his head with such a narrow range that it was hard to tell. As if both sides of his cheeks were blocked by walls.

“I can take the bus. I’ll go.”

“Okay. Then what time can you come?”

“One-thirty… is it okay if I go then?”

“Great. From one-thirty to four, to be safe. You might not be able to find the way, so give me your phone number.”

“I don’t have a phone.”

“Ah, then let’s meet at a nearby bus stop. I’ll draw you a map.”

Jaehyun gestured towards the notebook on Doyoon’s desk. Meaning, to tear out a page for him. Doyoon obediently tore out the last page. Even then, his touch was clumsy, so the torn edge was jagged. Jaehyun took the paper and drew a large, simple map on it.

“I’ll come out to get you, so let’s meet here the day after tomorrow at one-twenty. There’s a convenience store, so you can stand in front of it.”