ICYM Ch 38

Episode 38

When a part of your body you normally don’t even notice suddenly hurts, doesn’t it irritate your nerves like crazy?

That was me right now.

Without realizing it, I raised my hand and fiddled with my lips.

I wonder if he’s hurting, too?

Since he did the same thing as me, it would make sense if he was, but his expression was hard to read. Feeling embarrassed for no reason, I cleared my throat.

I didn’t want him to notice I was in pain, so I had even brought jerky with me. Silly, maybe, but it felt better than showing my embarrassment.

“Woof!”

In the meantime, Coco seized the chance and charged at me. But unlike Kendrick, I wasn’t easy prey, since I had experience raising dogs.

“Uh-uh. No.”

At my firm response, Coco looked at me in disbelief. The jerky looked just like dog treats, so Coco seemed convinced it was theirs. But this was very much human food.

“Woof!”

I made a point of popping the jerky into my mouth.

The hard bite sent a fresh wave of pain through me, but I chewed without showing it. As I gnawed on the jerky, Coco collapsed to the ground with a devastated look, as if its world had ended. Coco was huge, so it was incredibly cute too, but I couldn’t give in.

“You need to lose weight.”

Realizing it wasn’t going to get any snacks from me, Coco soon turned its attention to the soap bubbles floating in the air.

I, too, glanced in the direction the bubbles were coming from.

It wasn’t our first time meeting in the garden after class, but being there alone together after we started dating felt completely different.

Back then, I didn’t pay much attention to Kendrick’s presence. My main reason for coming was to see Coco and Nabi.

But now, even though I was still here to see Coco and Nabi, the real purpose was our date.

Date.

Those four letters carried a lot of pressure. But over the past few days, nothing had really happened.

If there was one difference, it was the strange, suffocating awkwardness on the first day that led me to buy soap bubbles.

Since we had nothing to say, I blew bubbles all through Tuesday and Wednesday until my lip muscles were sore.

Starting yesterday and into today, Kendrick was the one blowing the bubbles instead. His lips didn’t seem the least bit sore. Each time he blew air into the circular wand coated with soapy water, a stream of bubbles poured out.

“Whoo.”

He had gotten the hang of it now, and each time he blew, more bubbles appeared.

Swoosh!

Nabi crouched low, tail swishing, then leapt up and swatted at a bubble. When it popped, Nabi froze, startled. Watching Nabi, Coco also stood up on its hind legs and smacked at a bubble with its paw.

“Haha.”

The two of them having so much fun made me laugh without meaning to.

The bubbles that Coco and Nabi couldn’t pop floated higher and higher into the sky. In my field of vision, massive cotton-like clouds stretched across the blue, like a painting.

They say humans are creatures of adaptation, and over the past week, I’d adapted pretty well. Weekdays were fine.

But the problem lay elsewhere.

“About the weekend.”

While focusing on blowing bubbles, Kendrick suddenly mentioned a day that still felt like uncharted territory.

“Huh?”

The secret relationship I had asked for severely limited the places where we could meet. But if we only saw each other briefly during weekdays and not at all on weekends, then how would that be any different from before?

I had thought about other places.

A café in town.

The dorm library.

The lounge.

The library and lounge weren’t private spaces, so there was a high chance of being discovered by other dorm students. And the café in town? Needless to say, on weekends, there would be no shortage of students heading downtown.

What would Kendrick suggest we do? Rather than hearing it and having to turn it down, wouldn’t it be better if I voiced my opinion first?

The thought had barely crossed my mind before the words tumbled out.

“Do you want to study in my room?”

The moment I blurted it out, Kendrick, who had been about to say something, widened his eyes.

“Huh?”

He looked so startled that it felt like I had just made a suggestion I shouldn’t have. I quickly rushed to add an explanation.

“My room is a double, you know. So if we put the desks together, it’ll be more comfortable. And there won’t be anyone to bother us.”

“……”

Kendrick’s expression turned serious at my words.

Come to think of it, Kendrick had suddenly gotten a roommate because of me. If he asked why things turned out like that, what was I supposed to say?

“Uh… It’s fine if you don’t want to.”

I tried to take my words back quickly, but Kendrick shook his head.

“No.”

“……”

“I don’t dislike it.”

Kendrick began packing up his bag, saying it was time to head back, and stood up. I rose to my feet behind him.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

It felt like I had dug my own grave, but tomorrow was already the weekend, and I couldn’t think of a better alternative.

* * *

Knock, knock.

Had I ever been this nervous over the sound of a knock before?

Even though we had set the time and I knew exactly who was standing on the other side of the door, my heart still dropped at the sound.

“J-just a second!”

I hurried to wipe down the mirror hanging in the room, tossed the wet wipes into the trash, ran a hand through my hair, and only then could I bring myself to open the door.

The moment it swung open, a tall shadow stretched long across the floor.

“Hey.”

Because of his build, his pheromones, and his cold-looking expression, the atmosphere only felt twice as intimidating, but he really was incredibly handsome.

“Right on time.”

“Here.”

Kendrick handed me the paper bag he had been holding.

“What’s this?”

“…I bought it so we could eat together if we got hungry.”

I peeked inside, and under the clear plastic, sat a tempting bagel, and next to it, a carton of apple juice.

“Just outside… Ah. Thanks for the food.”

I swallowed the question I had almost asked. If we studied together but went out separately just to eat and came back again, that would only make things awkward. This was no doubt because I had asked Kendrick to keep everything a secret.

“Yeah.”

Kendrick didn’t question my half-finished words. Next time, I would have to buy something. Worried that the mood might turn awkward, I quickly continued the conversation.

“But isn’t this a little too much for just two people?”

“Is it?”

The bagels were stacked inside the bag like a tower, which was why I asked. But Kendrick looked like he couldn’t see what the problem was.

Well, with that build, it’d be strange if he ate only a little.

“No, I’m sure we’ll finish them. Thanks.”

“Anyway, come in.”

Only then did I realize I had left Kendrick standing outside the whole time, and I quickly stepped aside.

“Thanks.”

As Kendrick stepped inside, the room suddenly felt cramped, something it had never felt like, even when Owen had been there.

“Uh, sit here!”

I pointed to the desks I had pushed together earlier, and Kendrick sat down beside me.

The soft melody flowing from the speakers, the spotless room cleaned since early morning, even the mirror polished. And in the middle of it, Kendrick and I sat side by side at adjoining desks.

I had put on music, thinking the silence would feel awkward, but my worry was pointless. The moment Kendrick came in, he immediately started studying.

Click. I turned off the music with the speaker remote and listened to Kendrick’s explanation while taking a big bite of the bagel sandwich.

“It’s not something you need to overthink.”

“Yeah.”

At first, I thought spending too much time together would be awkward, so I had planned for us to do weekend activities first and then study after. But what the teacher said during the last class yesterday made that impossible.

Since it was a class I shared with Kendrick, I had solemnly told him my resolution in the garden after school yesterday.

“…I want to do well on the quiz next week.”

“Should we cancel tomorrow’s weekend activities?”

“…Would that be okay?”

“Yeah. I don’t mind.”

And so, the two of us even canceled our weekend activities and sat down at our desks from the morning.

Even though it should have been tiring, Kendrick continued calmly explaining until I understood.

“You can think of this part as important.”

“…Could you explain that one more time?”

“Sure. It’s best to ask right away if you don’t understand.”

“R-right.”

The clinking of ice in a cup, the scent of the outside breeze slipping through the window crack, the chewy, freshly baked bread.

I wanted nothing more than to just relax endlessly, but I sat upright and forced my eyes wide open.

“Should we take a short break?”

“Huh?”

“My throat’s dry.”

Kendrick set his pen down and drank from the coffee cup that was still almost full. His focus was still plain to see.

…Did he notice I wasn’t concentrating?

But instead of pointing it out, he took the initiative by saying he needed a break?

Kendrick took out the unopened pack of apple juice, poked a straw in it, and handed it to me. The gesture was so natural, I accepted it without thinking.

“You must be tired too. Drink juice instead of water.”

“Thanks.”

Maybe I was reading too much into it, but the timing was uncanny.

Only after I saw Kendrick choose a bagel and unwrap it did I feel comfortable enough to drink the juice.

Kendrick ate the bagel in neat quarters with each bite, and before I knew it, he had finished the whole thing.

Just as I was thinking how neatly he ate, not dropping a single crumb even with such huge bites, Kendrick picked his pen back up.

“Shall we get back to studying?”

“…It’s only been five minutes.”

“Hm? Yeah.”

So when someone good at studying says, ‘Let’s take a short break,’ it really does mean just a moment.

“Yeah.”

Since I was the one being taught, there was no way I could say I wanted to rest longer. So I nodded firmly and picked up my pen.