OMS 95

“I’ll drive away all the bad guys!” Opening his eyes at the noisy sound, Park Dong-sik sat up in his now-familiar surroundings. In front of him, Blackey was swinging a tree branch around with its cotton-like paws.

“Back off, villains! I’ll make you taste hell! Kyaaa!” That one was energetic as always today. Always happy. Every time it jumped, the gold around its body gleamed—I wonder if it’s not heavy.

But today, Whitey wasn’t visible. As Park Dong-sik looked around, he felt a chill on the back of his neck and turned around, startled. Whitey was right behind him, staring down.

I can never read this one’s expression. Surely it won’t step on me again?

“W-Whitey, hello?”

When he waved, Whitey lay down and pulled Park Dong-sik into its embrace with its front paws. Park Dong-sik wore a puzzled expression.

“What’s this? Why are you…”

Just then, Blackey also threw away its stick and came running over, draping one of its legs over him too. He suddenly felt like an egg being incubated. Buried in their fur, it was surprisingly warm and cozy.

Then Whitey spoke, moving its lips.

“Is it hard?”

Park Dong-sik looked as if he’d just been struck.

“What?”

“Do you want to cry?”

“…”

“If you want to cry, cry, Mom.”

Huh? What? What did it just say?

Slowly opening his eyes, Park Dong-sik blinked at the familiar ceiling. As he struggled to sit up, he felt dazed from sleep. The voice calling him “Mom” remained vivid, making him emotional as he rubbed his belly.

Coming to his senses and entering the living room, the house was empty and quiet. After Kim Tae-han was taken away in an ambulance, he had tried to follow but was held back by the guards and brought home, but his mind wasn’t at ease.

[“That it was me, not you…I’m really thankful…”]

That bastard. Always pulling that shit so I couldn’t even hate him properly. As he cursed internally and sat on the sofa, he heard movement from the entrance. The footsteps were definitely Kim Jun-han’s. Sure enough, moments later, Kim Jun-han appeared at the end of the corridor.

As he strode over, Park Dong-sik felt slightly intimidated. He must be angry since Park Dong-sik went there without saying anything and caused trouble. When he awkwardly waved, Kim Jun-han came over and looked down at him silently. Reminded of Whitey from his dream, Park Dong-sik unconsciously shrank back.

Park Dong-sik forced out a smile and made excuses.

“I-I’m sorry. I was only planning to go to Hee-soo’s house. Lee Seon-jae said something strange…I was so angry I couldn’t hold back. I just went there to yell at Kim Tae-han, but suddenly that old man went crazy and started swinging a knife…Ah! The guards didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one being forceful, so don’t blame them—”

Kim Jun-han sat beside him and carefully embraced him, mindful of his belly. Surprised by the unexpected affection from the other man, Park Dong-sik was bewildered.

“What’s this? Some new way of getting angry? Are you doing this on purpose to make me nervous?”

“Kim Tae-han is fine. Unfortunately.”

“…”

“So don’t blame yourself. And definitely don’t worry.”

He was grateful that Kim Jun-han told him without having to ask. As Kim Jun-han stroked and patted his back, the emotions he’d been suppressing started creeping up.

“If you want to cry, cry. It’s been a hard day.”

His nose stung and he blinked rapidly. He clenched his molars trying to hold back, but his vision blurred. He thought everything would be fine. He had seen the true face of the woman who was his birth mother and told Kim Tae-han to apologize to Lee Hee-soo after he died. He thought it would feel triumphant and satisfying, but it didn’t. Without realizing it, he too had been hurt and festering.

Park Dong-sik pressed his forehead against Kim Jun-han’s chest and took deep breaths to collect himself. Finally, a tear fell. As he raised his head and roughly wiped his tears with the back of his hand, Kim Jun-han pulled out a tissue from the box and handed it to him.

Park Dong-sik took it to wipe his tears and blow his nose.

“Don’t tell anyone that I cried.”

Kim Jun-han gave a faint smile.

“Who would I tell?”

“Anyone. Don’t tell because it’s embarrassing. Especially not Kim Yoon-ah. She thinks I’m so amazing.”

Instead of answering, Kim Jun-han wiped away a teardrop hanging from the end of his eyebrow and stared at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Kim Jun-han opened his mouth as if to speak, then closed it and shook his head, saying it was nothing. This unusual behavior piqued Park Dong-sik’s curiosity.

“What is it? You’re making me suspicious…”

“I don’t think it’s appropriate to say in the current situation.”

“Tell me, what is it…”

“Can I be honest?”

When Park Dong-sik nodded his head, Kim Jun-han whispered seductively in his ear.

“I suddenly thought I’d like to make you cry during sex.”

“…”

“Really hard, at that.”

Park Dong-sik glared at him in disbelief as Kim Jun-han shrugged his shoulders. As if he’d done nothing wrong. As if to say, didn’t you ask me to tell you? Then he went to the bathroom, saying he’d take a shower. Left alone, Park Dong-sik shook his head.

He really has some perverted tendencies.

Then, noticing his ears were hot, he rubbed them with his palms.

“Geez…saying weird things like that, my tears dried right up.”

***

Knock knock. Opening the door revealed Madam Song holding Kim Tae-han’s hand and praying by his bedside. Her face was a mess, eyes swollen from crying.

“You came…?”

Kim Jun-han’s gaze shifted to Kim Taehan. Seeing him lying there like death, many thoughts crossed his mind. After finishing his meeting, he’d received a call from home. His father had stabbed Kim Tae-han, and Lee Hee-soo had been there.

His heart had dropped when he heard the news. He’d rushed to check on Lee Hee-soo immediately. Seeing him pretending to be fine despite obvious exhaustion made him feel more concerned than angry.

“How is Tae-han?”

“He’s been sleeping…”

Madam Song gestured to go outside. They went to a quiet bench away from people, and Kim Jun-han brought coffee from the hospital café after asking her to wait.

Receiving the warm coffee, Madam Song smiled faintly.

“My son is so thoughtful. How did you know Mom doesn’t like cold coffee?”

But she couldn’t drink it, anxiously picking at her fingertips instead. Kim Jun-han, who had been watching quietly, grabbed her hand firmly. Madam Song looked up at her son. Her eyes trembled anxiously, looking about ready to burst into tears.

Madam Song took a deep breath and her lips quivered.

“Tae-han ending up like this is my fault…”

“Why would it be your fault, Mother?”

“You see, Jun-han. Actually, I…I…to Father…”

Unable to finish, she squeezed her eyes shut. Then Kim Jun-han took a sip of coffee and said something unexpected.

“Don’t worry. Father won’t die from the drugs you gave him.”

Madam Song looked up, her face as pale as a sheet of paper. Kim Jun-han’s expression didn’t change as Madam Song started stammering.

“Y-You knew? Jun-han, I…that was…I mean, your father seemed to be going crazy…I was afraid he might hurt you and Tae-han…so I…but in the end…because of me…because of me, Tae-han…”

“It’s not your fault, Mother. I switched the drugs.”

Madam Song’s eyes widened. What?

“What do you mean…Why would you switch…”

She stopped mid-sentence and covered her mouth in shock, while Kim Jun-han’s expression barely changed even as he dropped this particular bombshell.

“Please understand, I did it to protect my children too. From now on, Father will have trouble living with a sound mind. He’ll need to keep taking medication. Please prepare yourself. This was all my decision, so don’t blame yourself and suffer.”

“Jun-han…”

“Tomorrow we’ll move him to the Yangpyeong villa, so keep that in mind.”

Though he said “move,” it was essentially imprisonment. She remained silent with her head down, and Kim Jun-han embraced her shoulders, comforting her for a long while. In the end, Madam Song accepted her son’s decision.

After sending her home in the driver’s car, Kim Jun-han returned to the hospital room. Kim Tae-han had regained consciousness and was staring blankly at the ceiling.

“Hee-soo…”

“They’re fine.”

Watching Kim Tae-han’s relieved expression, Kim Jun-han suppressed his rising jealousy. Hee-soo, no, Park Dong-sik had cried. That tough person who rarely shed tears over ordinary things.

Whether it was because of Kim Tae-han, or the accumulation of difficult events, or perhaps hormone changes from pregnancy causing mood swings, whatever the reason, it wasn’t pleasant.

“Too bad, hyung. It would’ve been better if I’d died.”

Kim Jun-han didn’t deny Kim Tae-han’s statement. He had thought several times that he should have given those drugs to Kim Tae-han instead of his father. Kim Jun-han pushed away the intrusive thoughts, afraid of being consumed by these growing emotions.

“Just focus on getting better. You need to be alive to see your nieces or nephews born.”

“Ha, haha,” Kim Tae-han laughed then winced, his side apparently hurting. Normally, one would snap back saying don’t talk nonsense, we don’t even know if they’re my children or yours, but he just laughed.

“Maybe it’s better if they’re just my nieces or nephews…”

He held back the rest of the thought, then I could keep seeing Hee-soo, and Kim Jun-han pretended not to understand the underlying meaning behind his words.