Warning: Mention of Self Harm! — You can hide marked sensitive content or with the toggle in the formatting menu. If provided, alternative content will be displayed instead.
Warning Notes
Mention of Self Harm
Ch 50
by SpringlilaLou Cheng was taken aback for a moment, blushing to the base of his ears, and then returned the kiss to him without hesitation. Because Ding Xuerun was injured, he did not use any force. He believed that his entire being was fragile, so he was extremely gentle and filled with indescribable love.
His lips were hot and soft. Because he had been treated well, the weakest part of Ding Xuerun’s heart was full of peaceful happiness at this moment, making him feel confused and sentimental. Ding Xuerun couldn’t help but close his eyes and let Lou Cheng play the part.
But Lou Cheng kissed him for a while and didn’t take the next step. Instead, he hugged him tightly and buried his head between Ding Xuerun’s shoulders, panting slightly. With his other hand, he gently stroked Ding Xuerun’s wrist and touched the cold watch. Ding Xuerun carefully guarded his quartz watch and rarely removed it, preventing others from seeing the secrets hidden beneath his watch.
“Runrun… can you tell me about your hand.” He pursed his lips and changed his words, “Why do you treat yourself like this?”
Lou Cheng wanted to ask for a long time.
Ding Xuerun fell into silence, Lou Cheng rubbed the cold and smooth watch anxiously, as if he could feel the watch’s slow rotation.
“If you don’t want to say…” Lou Cheng felt that this should be very difficult to say.
“There is nothing that cannot be said.” Ding Xuerun has been suppressing this matter on his own for far too long. He has never revealed anything to anyone else. “The watch belongs to my mother,” he sighed, placing his palm on Lou Cheng’s back.
Even if the quartz watch is a female model, it does not look strange when he wore it.
“My mother is deaf and mute, you know.”
Lou Cheng said softly, “Yes. I know.”
“They were particularly concerned when I was born that I would be deaf and mute. Fortunately, I avoided the possibility of one in four minutes. My mother has been through a lot in her life. If she doesn’t notice when we call her, she won’t pay attention to us.”
“But my dad has always been very patient with her. A lot of thoughts were put on her except for work. Apart from his work, he devotes all his attention to her.”
“No one cares about me.” He has no way to talk or complain to his mother.
Because he is so smart, he thinks differently from other kids.
He said something more calmly, and an indescribable sadness flowed through the heart of the listener, Lou Cheng. He clutched him in his arms and whispered: “I will look after you in the future. Don’t be like this around me. I will make you happy and make you feel loved. You should throw away this bad habit.”
“If you like pain, I’ll… I’ll burn you up,” Lou Cheng said again. “It’s hotter than a cigarette butt,” he said, “and a huge cigarette butt that enters you directly.” He began to bite Ding Xuerun’s neck as he spoke.
“You should be gentle, don’t leave a mark, they will see it,” Ding Xuerun said, hooking the back of his neck and raising his head.
Lou Cheng bit his earlobe: “Does it hurt?”
Ding Xuerun replied, “I haven’t done that in a long time.” He only does it when he’s bored. He didn’t tell Lou Cheng that he actually has an anxiety disorder.
But during this period of time with Lou Cheng, he did not feel inexplicably anxious.
“Then where does it hurt to bite you?”
Ding Xuerun will leave on the 20th because he still has a competition to attend. The preliminary physics and chemistry competitions will take place at the end of August.
Lou Cheng was not idle either. He found a performance training class specifically for Nortel. When the teacher of the training class saw his outstanding appearance, he knew that Lou Cheng had great hope: “You are a little too tall and you may be brushed down because of this, and your Mandarin…”
“It Isn’t in the standard?” Lou Cheng’s face was darkened, “My sister has a northeast mother tongue.”
The teacher said firmly: “You do.”
“Sister has it!”
The teacher looked at him: “Do you have any specialties?”
Lou Cheng was suspiciously silent as if he didn’t think he could do anything. He had to think for quite some time.
He then said, after a long period of thought, “I know how to ride a motorcycle. I’m pretty good at it. I won the national award and aspire to be the world’s Racer king in the future.”
“Do you want to perform riding a motorcycle during the exam?”
“If the examination room Big enough, it’s not impossible. Give the examiner the whole curve drift, so I’ll be admitted.”
The teacher’s mouth twitched: “…Forget it, let’s practice Mandarin first.”
So Ding Xuerun went to the exam competition, and Lou Cheng went to the training school to practice Mandarin and study the exam contents, and he endured until the start of the school year.
Usually, Lou Cheng would not attend school on the first day. Because his birthday was on September 1st, he skipped class every year and returned the next day.
But, under Ding Xuerun’s supervision, he dared not to miss a single class. He didn’t tell Ding Xuerun about his birthday in advance. Ding Xuerun, on the other hand, was meticulous. He examined Lou Cheng’s ID card and get the takeaway from a nearby hotel in the morning. He cooked for 20 minutes to prepare a bowl of longevity noodles for Lou Cheng.
Lou Cheng ate happily: “My mother will come over at noon and call us to eat.”
Lou Cheng’s father is often away from the local area, but his mother is an entrepreneur in this city. Except for business trips, she stays at the company all the time.
Ding Xuerun met Lou Cheng’s parents several times and thought they were all very nice people who did not reject them. Lou Cheng was about to change his shoes on his way to class when he noticed a pair of noticeable new shoes on the shoe rack.
Almost all of his shoes look brand new, but this pair is extraordinarily unfamiliar. Lou Cheng thought for a while, but couldn’t remember if he bought it himself. He had too many shoes. Suddenly, he thought of something. He turned to look at Ding Xuerun, who was finishing his school uniform next to him. When Ding Xuerun saw him changing his shoes, he didn’t even have any extra expressions, as if he didn’t recognize these shoes at all.
Lou Cheng rarely asked for a gift. If it is not bought by Ding Xuerun, doesn’t it seem that he wants a gift very much when he asks?
They entered the school when the bell rang. “Do I look particularly different today?” Lou Cheng asked Ding Xuerun, looking down at the clean white sneakers.
Ding Xuerun said, “Your Mandarin seems to be better than before?”
“No, you look at my appearance!”
Ding Xuerun shook his head: “Still very handsome.”
Is it really not a gift from Ding Xuerun, Lou Cheng wondered? He has no answer.
Even when he was playing basketball in PE class, he asked his teammates: “Did you see the shoes I am wearing today?”
Some people said that they had seen them, and some said that they hadn’t seen them. Lou Cheng was even more at a loss.
Lou Cheng left the first class after lunch and informed Ding Xuerun that he was leaving. Something wasn’t right. He vanished in the afternoon and waited until Ding Xuerun returned home from school.
Lou Cheng seemed to be happy about it, but he didn’t say anything. “Baby, I’ll show you something,” he said as he pushed Ding Xuerun, who had just gotten out of the bathroom, onto the bed.
He was so big that Ding Xuerun was out of breath: “Look at what?”
“Look at a baby.” Lou Cheng gestured and began to take off his pants.
Ding Xuerun saw that he was about to take off his trousers, and his face turned a little red: “I won’t look, don’t show off!”
“I’m going to show off!”
Lou Cheng didn’t take it off completely. His trousers were only pulled down a little and he took Ding Xuerun’s hand to touch him. Ding Xuerun was struggling, but he was being held by his fiery palm again. There was nothing he could do: “Just once, no more. I have to go to bed.”
“Touch it.”
Ding Xuerun finally touched it… plastic?
He touched Lou Cheng’s skin, but it wasn’t skin he was touching, but a layer of plastic wrap. When he looked closer, he noticed that the plastic wrap was attached to the bottom of Lou Cheng’s shark line, that is, the hip, which was obscured by the edge of his underwear.
What is hidden behind the plastic wrap is self-evident.
Lou Cheng’s eyes looked bright: “I didn’t dare to tear it apart in the bath, Runrun come here.”
Ding Xuerun’s hand touched the edge of the plastic wrap: “…Did you get a tattoo?”
“Yes!” Lou Cheng couldn’t stop himself. He knelt on the bed, his waist and belly tattooed in red and black. “I waited and waited for you to wish me a Happy Birthday, but I’m anxious and can’t wait any longer, so I tattooed you on my body.”
Ding Xuerun raised his head and used the light to identify the content behind the plastic wrap. He could most likely tell it was a string of English letters.
He carefully ripped the plastic wrap. Although Lou Cheng did not scream, his body was tense and clearly in pain.
Ding Xuerun couldn’t see clearly even after tearing it apart, and the bedside lamp was too dim. He couldn’t help but sit up and take a closer look. He can finally see it clearly now. There are two rows of very simple sentences: the first row is his name in pinyin, and the second row is the sentence “ILoVeYoU.”
Young people are always impulsive when it comes to love, and love can drive people to do anything.
Ding Xuerun dared not reach out to touch it and asked him, “Does it hurt?”
Lou Cheng shook his head and saw him leaning close to his tattoo. His nerves jumped a few times and said, “it hurts a little bit when I get a tattoo, but it doesn’t hurt when I think of you.”
“Creepy.”
“It’s not creepy,” Lou Cheng looked down into his eyes, his hand on the back of his head “I wanted a gift, and you didn’t even give it to me. Except for the noodle bowl.”
“You have been wearing the new shoes for a day, and you’re still complaining that I didn’t give you a gift.”
Lou Cheng: “…”
Ding Xuerun suddenly smiled, and the golden light of the reading lamp fell like stars on his black eyes: “What else do you want?”
Lou Cheng was embarrassed: “I like those shoes very much. After all, you give them to me, and I don’t want anything else.”
However, just because he didn’t say anything doesn’t mean Ding Xuerun didn’t understand what he meant. “I don’t know how, but I can try,” he said as he stared at the black tattoo.
Lou Cheng’s heart trembled again: “I can teach you.”
“Will you?”
” … It’s the same as eating popsicles. Who can’t eat popsicles this day? Who do you look down on?”
The author has something to say:
ChengCheng: Wearing new sneakers and coolly talking about popsicles