0&1 Ch 6.1

Kindness

It was late at night when I returned to my palace.

I planned to fall asleep as soon as I lay down on the bed. It would have been possible if I hadn’t met Edward in the garden leading to my room.

Someone emerged from the shadow of a large tree. The moment I realized it was Edward, I lost all desire to sleep.

Why are you here?

I didn’t even know there was someone in the garden until he popped out. If it had been an assassin and not Edward, Joffrey would have died right here.

“Your Highness!”

Or Dot, who ran out to protect me, would have died instead.

“Joffrey.” Edward casually called my name.
“What are you doing there?”

What the hell are the guards doing? Not seeing the prince wandering around is more than just negligence. What if something bad happens?

“I’m glad we ran into each other,” Edward said blankly.

He’s saying “I’m glad.”

I guess I am glad. Now I can send Edward back to his room.

“I found this kid in the palace. I thought it might be yours.” Edward pulled something out from behind a tree.

“Let go of me!”

A struggling child was dragged out.
It was Alex.

“Quiet,” Edward said. But when Alex continued to squirm, Edward kicked his shin.

Alex fell to the floor with a groan. Fallen, Alex raised his head and started to eye me.

I felt both pity and bewilderment. He must know he did something wrong.

“Where did you find him?”
“He was wandering around in the servants’ passage.”
“Why were you there?”

Edward just blinked. He looked like he didn’t understand what I’d said.

That was just how it appeared. Edward’s ears had a convenient function that allowed him to hear only what he wanted to hear.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

The clothes Edward was wearing were similar to Dot’s. They looked like servant’s attire.

Edward was still pretending not to notice. He looked innocent and thoughtless, staring into space.

It seemed that Edward’s nighttime outings were not a one-time thing.

Is he out of his mind?

He seemed to think very little of his safety. Of course, that was because he didn’t have an ounce of self-love, but still.

“Are you serious? Where are you wandering around at this hour?”
“Why are you angry?”

Is that even a question?

“Because I’m worried!”

“You’re worried about me?” Edward’s eyes widened.

“What do you think I’ve been doing all this time?”

The moments when I took care of Edward’s meals and checked on his mood came to mind, and I was speechless. Didn’t that mean anything to him?

“I didn’t know you’d worry.”

It felt like I was scolding an innocent child. Edward really didn’t seem to know. Or maybe he was just surprised that I was angry.

“You…”

“…” Edward stared at me blankly.

He looked like a child who didn’t understand anything and was watching my reaction. I knew Edward wasn’t like that, but I couldn’t say anything.

Why didn’t he know that other people worry?

Because he had never been worried about before.
Because he didn’t know that Joffrey cared about him.

It felt like we were going nowhere. Edward accepted what I gave him on the surface, but I didn’t feel like I was really giving him anything.

Edward stood in the darkness. His pale face was illuminated by the moonlight. He looked exhausted from wandering around. 

Seeing him like that, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Edward.

What more could I do?

“Did you have dinner?”
Edward shook his head.
“Are you hungry?”
Edward shook his head again.
“Come with me. Let’s take a bath and eat something.”

As I walked ahead, there was no sound of him following. When I turned around, Edward was still standing there. Alex, who was holding onto him, was also hesitating, just watching the atmosphere.

“Are you just going to stand there?”

“Are you worried about me?” Edward asked.

“Yeah. I’m so worried about you that I can’t even sleep.” I said it like a joke. “You might not have known, but usually, people don’t wonder if someone they don’t care about has eaten.”

“I didn’t know.”
“Remember that from now on.”
“Have you been worried about me every day?”

It was an odd expression. But it was true that I had been making sure Edward ate every day.

“Yeah.”
“Since when?”
“Why? If you knew since when, would you be grateful from that day on? Stop it and come in.”

I ushered Edward and Alex into the bathroom and stopped the servants from searching. After they came out, I dressed them in fresh clothes and fed them a late dinner.

Edward obeyed without complaint. His face was as blank as a sheet of paper, and I wondered what he was thinking.

“Where were you going?”

At my question, Edward’s fork stopped. I was reminded of Edward freezing in front of the Queen once.

Edward stared intently at me.

“I understand. I won’t ask.”

Edward’s eyes were an eerie shade of blue. His long eyelashes cast shadows over his eyes. Whenever Edward seemed to disappear beyond a glass wall, I felt like I was facing a different kind of being.

“I won’t ask, so eat. I won’t ask you anything you don’t want to talk about.”

Why? Edward’s question was as clear as day.

It was strange that I could easily understand something like this, but couldn’t understand something I really wanted to know.

“Is the food good?”
“Yes.”
“You like potato dishes, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Edward answered obediently and put a piece of buttered bread into his mouth.

Edward was still eating heartily. Seeing him eat well made me feel proud. I couldn’t help it.

I felt like it meant nothing, but I still couldn’t help it. I wanted Edward to eat well and not to hate Joffrey.

Since there was nothing more I could do, I could only repeat myself until his ears fell off.

“Don’t go out when it’s dark. I worry about you.”
“Okay.”
“If there’s anything you want to eat, tell Dot. He’ll take care of it.”
“Okay.”
“Thanks for finding Alex.”
“Sure.”

A moment of silence passed.

“Is he your servant?” Edward asked. Alex, who had been carelessly handling his fork, glanced over. He seemed to know that Edward was talking about him.

“No. He’s my… pickpocket?”
“Pickpocket?”

Edward looked at Alex’s wrist in surprise. “But why does he still have his hands?”

“Well…”

Alex’s fork fell onto the plate. Alex bristled and glared at Edward.

“Aren’t pickpockets executed?”

“Some lords punish them that way. The national law is to cut off the hands,” Edward said. “I’ve never seen a pickpocket with hands still attached.”

Alex let out a gasp and pulled his chair back. “Who is this guy?”

“He’s a Prince…”

As soon as he heard that, Alex jumped up and hid behind his chair. He looked at me with betrayal in his eyes.

“You mean that pickpocket who stole your servant’s belongings?” Edward asked.

“Yes.”
“Are you going to take him in?”
“No. I can’t do that. Because Alex fled today, the entire palace is in an uproar, and it will probably reach the Queen’s ears by tomorrow.”
“Are you worried about that pickpocket?”
“Of course.”

According to you, he could lose at least his wrist, or even his head.

Alex seemed to have lowered his guard, but he didn’t sit down. I gestured to Dot to bring a new fork since Alex’s fork was rolling on the floor.

“Did you hear that? You have to leave first thing tomorrow morning. You better eat a hearty meal. Congratulations on getting your wish.”

Why did he even run away? He won’t even get to see outside the castle.

I was able to adapt quickly because I had a servant like Dot, but the castle was large and complicated, and it was easy for a first-timer to get lost.

“Is that all you have to say?” Alex asked.

“What? Do you want to be scolded?”
Alex shook his head.

“I’ll send you back tomorrow, so just stay quiet tonight. Do you know how many people had to work because of you?”

“But why…” Alex muttered in a voice so soft I couldn’t hear him. It sounded like he was asking why he wasn’t being punished. He really likes getting punished.

“Who do you think I am, a murderer? I’m not interested in your wrist or your head.”

“Do you worry about just anyone?” Edward asked.

What was that supposed to mean?

“How could I?”

I don’t know what not being a murderer has to do with that.

”Did you know him?“
“No?”

Joffrey couldn’t have known a pickpocket.

“Then why are you worried about him?” Edward pressed further.

I felt my resolve crumble.

“Edward. I’m especially worried about you. My feelings for Alex are basic human compassion. Do you understand?”

“…” Edward’s face went blank.

This time, he wasn’t pretending. A sudden blush spread across his cheeks.