7MoH 2.12
by SpringlilaWhile Jeong-in struggled to chew the dry sandwich, Vivian nibbled on her banana, staring intently at Jeong-in.
Jeong-in finished his meal faster than usual.
“I’m done eating. May I leave now?”
Vivian smiled at Jeong-in as if she had been waiting for those words. There was something meaningful behind that smile. A chill ran down Jeong-in’s spine.
“Since we’ve eaten together, we’re friends now, right?”
Jeong-in was momentarily speechless at this absurd statement. Vivian continued immediately.
“You know that rule, right? The one about not touching a friend’s ex-boyfriend.”
As soon as Vivian finished speaking, Jeong-in instinctively looked around. The cafeteria was still bustling with noise, and fortunately, it seemed no one had heard their conversation.
“Chase told me. He said there’s someone he wants to date seriously. He wouldn’t tell me who it was no matter what, as if he was afraid I might do something. I didn’t expect it to be a boy, so it took me some time to figure it out.”
Jeong-in’s expression subtly hardened. As he was choosing his words in his head, Vivian impatiently continued.
“You know that only trash would cling to a friend’s ex-boyfriend, right?”
Friend’s ex-boyfriend? There wasn’t a single accurate thing in her statement. Jeong-in’s brow furrowed as if he’d reached his limit.
“I know you two never dated.”
At Jeong-in’s small but firm voice, the confidence disappeared from Vivian’s face, replaced by confusion.
“…Damn. Chase told you that too?”
It was a moment when an elegant mask seemed to slip from her face. But Vivian quickly composed herself and returned to her usual demeanor.
“Regardless of the truth, people don’t see it that way. And I will never approve of you two.”
Jeong-in’s face gradually reddened from his chin upward. Not because he had taken off his glasses, but because he was literally so angry he couldn’t see straight.
“I never needed anyone’s approval in the first place. Who are you? Chase’s mother?”
“What? Chase?”
Vivian let out a mocking laugh as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“Ha, if Chase breaks up with me and starts dating you, what do you think people will say? It’ll look like I made him so sick of women that he turned to men!”
Jeong-in almost laughed at the self-centered thinking evident in her words. Before he knew it, a sarcastic remark escaped his lips.
“Really… you’re incredibly shallow.”
“I don’t care what you say. I absolutely must have Chase as my date for prom this year.”
Jeong-in looked at her with contempt.
“You really only think about yourself, don’t you?”
“Fine, alright. Let’s think altruistically then. Are you okay with Chase’s reputation being ruined because of you? Would it make you feel better if the perfect Prescott heir and varsity quarterback has to endure prejudiced looks after being branded as gay?”
Jeong-in inwardly flinched at the uncomfortable truth in her words. But he didn’t show it outwardly. Rather, he tried to stand taller, straightening his back and tensing his neck. It was his last bit of pride.
Whether or not she understood Jeong-in’s feelings, Vivian said, “Please. Don’t ruin Chase.”
“And if I refuse?”
Vivian’s gray eyes glinted with a cold light.
“Then I’ll have no choice but to make you my enemy.”
“Are we playing war games now?”
“So, you’re refusing?”
Jeong-in slowly picked up his glasses from the table and put them on. Then he stood up with his tray and left a final word.
“Whatever choices I make from now on, I’ll be the one to decide.”
Jeong-in turned away from the table with those resolute words. He could feel a cold, sharp gaze piercing his back.
Just as he left the cafeteria, he received a message from Chase. He had said he would order delivery food to eat with his teammates on the field.
Chase Prescott: [Did you enjoy your lunch?]
Although strictly speaking Chase hadn’t done anything wrong, he felt unreasonably angry, as if it was his fault he had to go through this unnecessary ordeal. Jeong-in put hi phone in his pocket without replying.
* * *
Jeong-in couldn’t sleep at all. Though he tried not to dwell on it, Vivian’s words persistently stabbed somewhere in his heart. Painfully and relentlessly.
“Are you okay with Chase’s reputation being ruined because of you? Would it make you feel better if the perfect Prescott heir and varsity quarterback has to endure prejudiced looks after being branded as gay?”
Loving someone of the same gender. The world had changed a lot, and same-sex marriage had been legalized, but for some people, it could still be considered a stigma.
There were a few openly gay students at Wincrest High and even a human rights club they had formed, but not everyone viewed them favorably.
He had heard that even at the last prom, some parents had opposed students bringing same-sex partners. Of course, their objections were overruled by the majority opinion.
Moreover, he was a Prescott. A family name that carried powerful weight. And the financial industry he was likely to inherit was a business where trust was more important than anything else.
When his thoughts reached that point, Jeong-in squeezed his eyes shut. There was no reason to think so far ahead when they hadn’t even decided to date. Nevertheless, his heart felt incredibly heavy, and his mood was low.
After a night of tossing and turning, Jeong-in came downstairs feeling slightly feverish.
Suzy, who was preparing breakfast, immediately noticed that Jeong-in’s condition was different from usual. She put down the ladle she was holding, approached Jeong-in, and placed a hand on his forehead.
“Are you okay? You seem to have a fever.”
Suzy quickly brought a thermometer and took Jeong-in’s temperature. 37.5°C. It was an ambiguous reading, not quite high enough to be called a fever, but Jeong-in’s listless appearance concerned her.
“Coming down with a cold? Why don’t you take the day off?”
“No. I just… didn’t sleep well last night.”
“You were studying late again, weren’t you?”
Suzy looked at her son with worried eyes. Feeling slightly dizzy, Jeong-in quickly grabbed a chair and sat down.
As it happened, Suzy had been cooking dumpling soup with dumplings she had received from Justin’s parents’ store the night before. But Jeong-in shook his head, saying he had no appetite, and Suzy placed a spoon of cloudy bone broth in front of him, insisting he at least drink some of the soup.
“Justin said he’s been busy preparing for the competition too. How about Chase? Is he doing well? Isn’t he coming over again?”
“…Maybe it’s better to keep some distance now.”
Jeong-in inadvertently revealed his true feelings.
“From Chase? Why?”
Suzy looked at Jeong-in with a very surprised expression.
“Just… we seem too different.”
Suzy leaned back against her chair, recalling her impression of Chase.
“How should I put it… He’s like a symbolic kid that comes to mind when you think of America.”
A bitter smile formed on Jeong-in’s face at Suzy’s words.
Chase’s image was exactly that. Blonde hair and blue eyes, white even teeth, healthily tanned skin, and a confident smile. He looked like a protagonist who had just stepped out of an American teen movie.
“But we always say that appearances aren’t everything. Just as we don’t like others judging us by stereotypes, we should be careful not to hold prejudices ourselves.”
Suzy’s words carried weight. They were advice filled with her experiences as an immigrant and as a minority woman.
Jeong-in quietly mulled over Suzy’s words and nodded. His heart was still heavy, but her words seemed to be a small comfort.
Jeong-in did not refuse Suzy’s offer to drive him to school and got into the passenger seat of her car.
When the car stopped at a red light, the massive building of Prescott Bank came into view through the window. A clear message was engraved on the billboard that filled the glass windows: [Your trusted partner in designing your future, Prescott Bank & Trust]
Jeong-in turned his head away as if avoiding it.
They soon arrived at the school, which wasn’t far away. After getting out of the car and leaving behind Suzy’s worried instruction to call immediately if he felt worse, Jeong-in entered the school building.
He saw a banner hanging in the hallway:
[2 days until Prom. Have you decided on your date?]
Jeong-in stared blankly at those words before walking toward his locker.
Just then, there was a commotion as Vivian Sinclair entered the hallway with Madison Wilkes. Jeong-in, who had inadvertently looked in their direction, briefly locked eyes with Madison.
He was about to greet her, but Madison looked away faster. Her behavior was unnatural, and there was an awkward expression on her face. She also seemed somewhat frightened.
Soon after, a group of freshman and sophomore cheerleaders flocked around Vivian. As always, they began admiring and praising everything from Vivian’s hairstyle to her clothes and small accessories.
Feeling tired of the conversation that was clearly audible even without trying to listen, Jeong-in was just about to take out his textbook from his locker when,
“Girls, forget about that. I got a new pedi, what do you think of this?”
“The color is really pretty. Where did you get it done?”
“I didn’t know before, but there’s a good place at Cove Mall. It’s called Suzy’s Nails.”
Jeong-in’s hand slipped, and he almost dropped the textbook he was taking out. ‘Suzy’s Nails’ was the name of his mother’s shop.
At that moment, Jeong-in realized once again,
High school is a jungle. Let your guard down, and you’ll be devoured in an instant.
* * *
―I really didn’t know!
As soon as school ended, Madison called with an urgent voice. Recalling her awkward face when she saw him earlier, Jeong-in maintained his silence. He needed to question whether he could trust Madison right now.
―I’m telling you this because I’m worried about you, but Vivian didn’t get her pedi at your mother’s salon. She did it herself when she was with me yesterday.
“…How did she know it was my mom’s shop?”
―Josh Turner told Vivian. Vivian doesn’t even know where it is. She obviously hasn’t been there.
Josh Turner, the school’s official troublemaker, was a well-known Vivian Sinclair devotee.
Jeong-in had bad history with him since junior high.
His greatest life achievement was being born white in America, and he had always bullied immigrants like Jeong-in as if they were taking something away from him. Deliberately spilling spoiled milk on bags or clothes was minor compared to the time he locked Jeong-in in a locker.
He knew about Suzy’s shop because his mother worked at a restaurant in the mall and had encountered her in passing.
The situation wasn’t hard to figure out. The moment Vivian mentioned Jay Lim, Josh Turner must have confessed everything he knew.
“So what changes? She still brought up my family to provoke me.”
Vivian had touched on the part where people are most vulnerable. She must have thought it would intimidate him and break his pride.
But she had misjudged.
His mom had said that while she didn’t consider the job her calling, she was grateful for it because it supported the two of them. Nothing was more important than that.
She had worked under others before opening a shop under her own name, and now she even had a part-time employee, which gave her a sense of achievement.
―Even in desperation, I can’t believe she would make such a risky move…
Madison spoke in a tone suggesting she herself was shocked.
“Desperate? Who?”
―Well… Jay, I really shouldn’t be saying this… It’s a secret, so don’t tell anyone. Promise?
After making sure Jeong-in promised, Madison cautiously began to speak.
―You know the restaurant chain that Vivian’s family runs? ‘Goldenfield Grill’?
“Yeah, I know it.”
―They aggressively expanded trying to surpass Olive Garden’s number of locations, and now they’re on the verge of bankruptcy.
“What?”
Jeong-in’s eyes widened slightly. There was a Goldenfield Grill franchise on his way to school.
―They’ve put their house and vacation home up for sale to avoid default, and Vivian’s mom sold her jewelry too. She’s currently at a mental healing center in Santa Barbara.
“But… Goldenfield Grill seemed to be operating…”
―For now, yes. They seem to be hanging on day by day. The reason Vivian only wears her cheerleading uniform these days is because she can’t afford new clothes. Even with her family going bankrupt, she can’t wear last season’s clothes. She has a reputation to maintain.
That was true. There was even a separate Instagram account dedicated solely to posting what Vivian wore every day.
Madison continued,
―Teen Vogue approached Vivian with an offer. They asked if she’d like to have her prom captured like a photo shoot. Of course, she accepted immediately. But honestly, everyone knows. Would Teen Vogue have made such an offer if it was just Vivian? It’s because her partner is Chase Prescott—they’re killing two birds with one stone.
“Teen Vogue… isn’t that the one you couldn’t go to for the gala show?”
―Ugh… don’t bring up painful memories. Anyway, Vivian hopes to gain fame through this shoot and become an influencer. You know, a trend guru for fashion and makeup. She needs to become financially independent right away. Her grades are just average, so if she wants to go to college on a full scholarship, she’ll probably end up at some cyber university like DumbassButt.com.
Jeong-in let out an empty laugh.
―But the thing is, Chase suddenly declared he’s not going to prom. The editors from New York are flying in the day after tomorrow.
“…I see.”
No matter how dire her circumstances, Jeong-in didn’t want to excuse Vivian’s actions. But to a small degree, he could understand why she had made such a desperate move.
“Sigh… Madison. Why do you hang out with Vivian?”
―I know she’s selfish and mean. But she can be really good to me too. When I got into an unfair fight at Coachella, she jumped in for me and pulled out the other girl’s hair.
Madison said she had been sticking with Vivian since their junior high orientation day. She admired and envied Vivian, but also felt deep affection and sympathy built over many years.
Madison paused for a moment before continuing.
―And this isn’t me defending her… what she did was definitely wrong and reckless… but she wouldn’t actually go to your mom’s shop or do anything like that. You can really trust me on this.
There was no reason not to believe Madison’s clear and firm words.
“…Okay. I understand.”
Madison continued talking without any intention of ending the call. Today’s events must have been weighing on her mind. By the time Jeong-in hung up after unwillingly listening to Madison talk about the movie she saw a few days ago and introducing her two dogs, his phone was hot and his cheek and ear were burning.
“Who were you talking to for so long?”
When he entered his room, Justin was lying on his bed. He had been solving problems while lying on his stomach but sat up with a curious face.
“Chase Prescott?”
“No.”
Jeong-in was lost in thought for a moment, then chuckled.
He found it amusing that he was feeling sympathy for Vivian, who would probably still live better than him even if her family went bankrupt, as the saying goes: “Even a rich person who goes bankrupt can still live well for three years.”
He disliked her but also felt compassion for her. It’s difficult to appreciate the value of something you’ve never had, but the emptiness of losing everything you’ve taken for granted must be unfathomably deep.
He couldn’t forgive her, but he could understand. However, the problem was that this commotion could disrupt his daily life.
Jeong-in quietly muttered, “Will this be the only time…”
“Huh?”
“I mean having my lunch time disrupted because of Chase Prescott, like yesterday.”
Justin nodded as if he understood. Then he pretended to be a tiger, raising both hands and making clawing gestures. It was his way of portraying Vivian Sinclair.
“She was really scary. If I were you, I might have wet myself.”
“Fortunately, I took off my glasses, so I couldn’t see clearly.”
“It’s all Chase Prescott’s original sin. If you date him, that kind of thing will be commonplace.”
Jeong-in sat on the floor and stretched one arm onto the bed, lying down.
“I just want to live quietly. Besides, we’re seniors now.”
He had said he wouldn’t date Chase, but it seemed he had been keeping the possibility open deep down. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be troubled like this.
“Alright, let me break this down for you.”
Justin opened a new page in his notebook and drew a line down the middle. He wrote ‘Pros’ on one side and ‘Cons’ on the other. He was trying to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of dating Chase.
“First, the advantages everyone knows.”
Justin wrote ‘Eye candy with a hot body and hot face’ under ‘Pros’. There was no room to argue, so Jeong-in nodded. Justin, gaining momentum, also wrote ‘Filty rich’ underneath.
“What else? His personality?”
“Hmm… I don’t think we’re close enough to know his personality yet.”
The pros listed by Justin were roughly as follows:
Pros
1. Hot body + hot face → Guaranteed eye candy
2. Filthy rich → Luxury dates (basic transportation is Porsche)
3. Top influence at school → No bullying, automatic popularity boost
4. Surprisingly gentle → Never heard him use vulgar language
5. Probably skilled at physical affection → Must have lots of experience (I’m jealous)
6. Prescott connections → Might be advantageous when getting a loan?
“Will I ever need to take out a loan?”
“You never know. Let’s move on to the cons.”
Justin’s pen moved to the ‘Cons’ column.
“First, he’s too handsome. You could become a rival to all women and occasionally men.”
Justin said aloud as he wrote it down. Again, this was an undeniable fact.
Below that, he wrote ‘Harder to focus on college applications.’ Although neither had dated before, they both knew that relationships required time and energy.
Cons
1. Too handsome → Other women (and sometimes men) won’t leave him alone
2. Harder to focus on college applications → Maximum waste of time and energy!
3. Has been involved with many girls → Can’t guarantee he won’t cheat
4. Friends with Vivian → Just a problem in itself
5. From wealthy background → Money, background, connections all create an insurmountable gap, causing relative deprivation
6. Nerds might talk behind your back → Potential to be treated as a traitor (except Justin Wong)
7. Might be seen only as ‘Chase Prescott’s boyfriend’ → Personal identity becomes vague
8. High chance of being forced to attend festivals and parties → He’s even the king of dance parties, might be treated as inferior if you go along
9. Could become just a temporary stop → The other person is the famous Prescott. All aboard the Prescott train! Choo choo!
At the bottom of the cons column, Jeong-in suggested adding ’10. Social perception and prejudice against same-sex relationships.’ Justin nodded with a slightly bitter expression and wrote down what Jeong-in said.
Justin clapped his hands as if trying to lighten the mood.
“Oh, we need to add this too. Excessively large you-know-what.”
“What? I thought you said it was a vestigial organ.”
Jeong-in frowned in protest. But Justin simply shrugged and continued casually.
“Did you see him wearing joggers a few days ago? Didn’t he just come back from France? I thought he was smuggling a baguette in his pants.”
Jeong-in threw the pencil he was holding at Justin. After deftly dodging it, Justin pondered.
“But is this a pro or a con? Hmm…”
In the end, that item was written in both the pros and cons columns.
“There, all done!”
The list contained seven pros and eleven cons. Jeong-in’s gaze naturally drifted toward the cons side.
* * *
Today, students gathered on the sports field instead of in the auditorium. Jeong-in also headed to the field in his gym clothes.
Coach Anderson, the PE teacher, stood in the middle of the field wearing sunglasses, waiting for the students. With a stopwatch in hand, his voice carried across the field.
“Today we’re doing a one-mile run.”
A faint groan spread among the students. Some grumbled and expressed their dissatisfaction, but Anderson shook his head as if accustomed to it.
“Save the complaints for after the run. First, let’s do some warm ups. Stretching, everyone start!”
Jeong-in wasn’t in good condition due to ongoing worries and lack of sleep from preparing for the competition. And to make matters worse, he now had to do a one mile run.
The one mile run literally meant running about 1.6 kilometers. Like most high schools, Wincrest’s track was 400 meters per lap, so they needed to run four laps.
In American high schools, this one-mile run was often conducted twice, at the beginning and end of the semester, as part of a fitness test. Not only was the record important, but improvement from the beginning of the semester was also an evaluation criterion. Therefore, Jeong-in needed to achieve better results than at the beginning of the semester.
“Oh? Look, it’s the football team!”
Girls in the same class started murmuring. When Jeong-in turned his head, he saw the football team training at the far end of the field. They seemed to be conducting their team practice during PE time.
Chase was among them. Coincidentally, Chase spotted Jeong-in and waved happily. With mixed feelings, Jeong-in briefly waved back.
“Neglecting stretching leads to injury! Do it properly!”
At the coach’s words, Jeong-in refocused on stretching. Soon, the coach called the students to the starting line.
“Four laps total. Don’t use all your energy in the first lap. Maintain your pace, and try to increase your speed as much as possible in the final lap. Understood?”
Some students nodded, while others still looked tense. Anderson held up his stopwatch, looking at the students.
“Now, take your positions at the starting line!”
Jeong-in and the other students lined up at the starting line. Some retied their shoelaces, others took deep breaths to compose themselves. Jeong-in felt his heart pounding as he waited for the whistle.
“Ready, set, two, one, go!”
With the sound of a strong whistle, the students took off. Some dashed ahead quickly from the start, while others were already starting to walk.
Jeong-in gritted his teeth and ran, focusing only on what was ahead. This too would be a record in his school file. He couldn’t neglect anything.
“Jay Lim, too fast! Don’t waste energy at the beginning! Joseph! This is a one mile run, not a one mile walk! At least pretend to run!”
He barely managed the first lap. But from the second lap, his mouth began to dry up and there was a tight pressure between his ribs, suggesting he hadn’t paced himself well. By the third lap, Jeong-in’s vision momentarily darkened before returning blurrily, only to repeat the cycle.
Just as he entered the fourth lap, one of his knees gave out. His feet tangled, causing him to lose balance, and Jeong-in’s body collapsed to the ground.
“Hey! Who’s that! Are you okay?”
The coach’s voice could be faintly heard, but Jeong-in couldn’t respond. He barely managed to roll his fallen body to look up at the sky. The sky, which should have been blue, appeared completely yellow. All he could hear loudly was the sound of his own rough breathing and heartbeat.
Just as he was about to close his eyes, he felt a sensation of floating. When Jeong-in painfully opened his eyes, what came into view were blue eyes filled with worry and concern.
“Are you okay?”
“…Chase.”
“Yes, that’s right. Your Chase.”
Being held like this is quite humiliating.
With that thought, Jeong-in’s eyes slowly closed. Even as everything was enveloped in darkness, only Chase’s blue gaze remained vividly in his mind. He felt like he might dream of dipping his feet in the Mediterranean Sea.
* * *
Jeong-in slowly opened his eyes. An unfamiliar ceiling came into view. As he traced the faintly blurred pattern with his gaze, a distant memory suddenly surfaced.
He had collapsed like this once before. It was soon after he had immigrated.
Jeong-in, with his limited English skills, had misunderstood the teacher’s instructions, mistaking the one mile run for an endurance run.
He was competitive and simply wanted to win. He ran aimlessly around the track, pushing himself to run longer and farther than anyone else.
Some of those running alongside him noticed that Jeong-in was running more than necessary. But no one approached to tell him he could stop. He only stopped running when his body finally gave out.
The emotions he felt that day suddenly came back to him. It had been a lonely, exhausting, and confusing time.
As a minority immigrant, the prejudice and contempt in people’s gazes wasn’t unfamiliar. The sharp judgments hidden behind the mask of civility secretly stabbed at his self-esteem. It felt like being hit in invisible places.
Living as a foreigner in a foreign land, Jeong-in gradually became more defensive. He drew excessive boundaries and didn’t easily open his heart. Sometimes, he came to believe that keeping distance first was safer.
Should he bring that dazzling boy into his life that was already challenging enough to live quietly? Would it be worth it?
Jeong-in was always someone who calculated the trade offs. Weighing probabilities and considering long-term consequences was his specialty.
The probability of teenage romance lasting a lifetime is very rare. So he needed to focus on preserving the things that would last forever.
Jeong-in’s heart was slowly but surely leaning toward one side.
“You’re awake?”
Jeong-in, who had been lying still with only his eyes blinking, turned his head in response to the familiar voice. Chase sat on a plastic chair next to the bed, looking down at him with concern.
“How could you push yourself to run when you’re not feeling well? You should have said you’d do it another time.”
“…I thought I’d be fine.”
“Mr. Anderson said he’d reschedule for you. You can do it next time.”
Jeong-in carefully sat up and leaned against the wall. The infirmary was quiet, and the school nurse was nowhere to be seen.
Where should he begin? After hesitating for a moment, Jeong-in moistened his dry lips and carefully spoke.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Yes, grandfather. I will honor your last wishes.”
Chase playfully joked as he grabbed Jeong-in’s hand.
“Please listen seriously.”
“Alright, go ahead.”
Chase removed the playfulness from his face and quietly looked at Jeong-in. A gentle smile lingered in his eyes. He surely had no idea what he was about to hear.
After hesitating for a while with tightly pressed lips, Jeong-in finally spoke in a small voice.
“I want to go back to how we were before we became close.”
Chase’s gaze froze instantly. The blue eyes that until just a moment ago had been like a warm sea bathed in sunlight suddenly turned into cold glaciers.
“…What?”
Jeong-in slowly withdrew his hand, unable to meet Chase’s eyes.
“Is that your request?”
Chase stared intensely at Jeong-in with sharp eyes. Jeong-in’s voice became even smaller as he continued.
“I want you to go back to where you were. For us to be the kind of acquaintances who just nod at each other when we occasionally cross paths.”
While Vivian had provided the catalyst, this was an issue they would have to face sooner or later as long as they were together. It couldn’t simply be postponed. Doing so would only give Chase false hope.