AS CH 21

Chapter 21

With heavy steps, Lü Chenyue returned home. As he reached the final step on the staircase to the second floor, he saw Xu Wenhao standing in front of his door.

Why did he have to show up now?

Lü Chenyue froze for a moment, then walked past Xu Wenhao without any expression on his face.

When Xu Wenhao saw Lü Chenyue appear, his face was filled with deep worry.

“Where did you go? I kept ringing the doorbell and no one answered—I thought something might have happened to you inside.” Seeing Lü Chenyue safe in front of him finally put Xu Wenhao’s heart at ease.

“You’ve seen it now. I’m fine.” Lü Chenyue pulled out his keys and opened the door with his back to Xu Wenhao, not wanting him to see the expression on his face.

Why hasn’t Xu Wenhao left yet? Why is he speaking to him in that tone? Why is he looking at him with those eyes? Why is he still worried about him? Why, just when Lü Chenyue had finally made up his mind to forget him, does he show up again?

“You still haven’t answered me—where did you go just now?” Xu Wenhao hurried to follow behind Lü Chenyue, asking anxiously.

“I don’t need to answer you.” Lü Chenyue kept his back turned, clenching his fists tightly as he suppressed the pain and bitterness in his heart, forcing his tone to stay cold.

Xu Wenhao noticed Lü Chenyue’s knuckles turning white, and that deliberately cold tone made his heart ache. Suddenly, he rushed forward and grabbed Lü Chenyue, turning him around to face him.

But Lü Chenyue’s gaze never once met his, which made Xu Wenhao grit his teeth and ask in a low voice, “Don’t tell me… you went back to that kind of place again, did you?”

He didn’t want to believe it, but Lü Chenyue’s behavior made it impossible not to suspect that he had returned to that dark, filthy world.

Lü Chenyue turned his head to the side, giving no answer.

“Why do you keep going to that place?” Xu Wenhao shouted, gripping Lü Chenyue’s frail arms so tightly his fingers nearly dug into flesh.

Yet Lü Chenyue felt no pain at all.

“Why shouldn’t I go?” Lü Chenyue scoffed coldly and slapped his hands away. “That’s my job. I love money. Without money, I’ll die! I can sell my body for money—isn’t that allowed?”

Xu Wenhao listened to Lü Chenyue’s mocking tone, and it broke his heart—he didn’t know what to say.

“Didn’t you want to sleep with me?” Lü Chenyue suddenly stepped toward him. “I can do whatever you want—anything!” As he spoke, he reached out to unbutton Xu Wenhao’s shirt.

“What do you want? Want to do it right away? Or do you want me to slowly serve you?”

His self-deprecating words were like blades slicing through his own heart—and just as cruelly cutting into Xu Wenhao’s.

“Enough!” Xu Wenhao caught Lü Chenyue’s hands, stopping his movements, and in the next second, he pulled him into a tight embrace.

“Why are you hurting yourself like this? You clearly don’t want to do any of this—so why do you keep demeaning yourself like this?” Looking at Lü Chenyue’s fragile, wounded expression, Xu Wenhao’s heart filled with pain and compassion. “It’s exactly because of this that I haven’t been able to stop worrying about you. Do you even understand that?”

Xu Wenhao was furious—furious that Lü Chenyue didn’t know how to cherish himself.

“Because I was hungry…” After a long silence, Lü Chenyue finally let the pain in his heart slip out.

Ever since he fled that house and stepped into that world, even though he knew it was a mistake, he couldn’t turn back. His body had already been tainted long before—utterly filthy and defiled—so he chose to fall, to deceive himself into forgetting the past and to live a numb, hollow life like the walking dead.

Lü Chenyue’s words once again pierced Xu Wenhao’s heart. He held the person in his arms even tighter and said with deep tenderness,

“I’ll stay by your side. Please… don’t hurt yourself anymore. So promise me—don’t go back to that kind of place ever again, okay?”

Lü Chenyue froze.

Was this real? Or just a dream?

Xu Wenhao said he would stay by his side… Could he really?

Could he allow himself to be greedy for Xu Wenhao once more?

He didn’t ask for much. Just a little. Just a little would be enough…

Lü Chenyue didn’t say anything. He only reached out with trembling arms and hugged Xu Wenhao back.

No one knew how much time passed. The quiet living room remained silent—until a little furball rubbed against their feet. Only then did Lü Chenyue speak, breaking the stillness.

“Can you let go of me now?”

But Xu Wenhao acted like he hadn’t heard him. He still held Lü Chenyue tightly, clearly unwilling to let go.

Seeing Xu Wenhao’s domineering hold, Lü Chenyue became acutely aware of the thin layer of clothing between their bodies. Feeling their shared body heat made him flustered—he wanted to pull away.

Lü Chenyue pressed both hands against Xu Wenhao’s chest, trying to push him away, but he couldn’t.

Then, as if growing impatient, Xu Wenhao seized a moment when Lü Chenyue wasn’t ready—and lowered his head to kiss him.

Only after a long time did Xu Wenhao reluctantly release Lü Chenyue’s now red and swollen lips. He looked at him, slightly panting in his arms, his eyes filled with deep tenderness.

Lü Chenyue didn’t dare meet those gentle black eyes. He averted his gaze, shyly murmuring, “Please… don’t do that again… it makes me feel strange…” It really would give him the wrong idea. It would make him delude himself…

Xu Wenhao chuckled softly.

“Alright, I won’t kiss your lips.” As he spoke, he gently lifted Lü Chenyue’s chin and kissed his left eye… then his forehead. “But these places—kissing them should be okay, right?” He knew Lü Chenyue wouldn’t refuse, but he still wanted to claim him, to declare his feelings.

And as expected, Lü Chenyue let him kiss him without resistance. Whenever he was around Xu Wenhao, he found it hard to speak. He didn’t know how to respond.

Still, he wanted to pull away. Lü Chenyue was afraid that if he stayed in Xu Wenhao’s embrace any longer, he would be even more unwilling to leave its warmth.

He gently pushed Xu Wenhao away and crouched down to scoop up Kelu, hiding the emptiness in his chest that came from losing that warmth.

“You… came to see me for something, didn’t you?” Lü Chenyue turned his back, changing the subject.

“I want you to join the graduation trip.” Xu Wenhao was reminded of his original reason for coming by Lü Chenyue’s question.

The hand that was holding the cat toy suddenly paused when he heard those words. Then he resumed playing with Kelu, eyes dimming.

“I don’t want to go.”

To the rest of the class, he was just an extra. Whether he went or not—they wouldn’t care. And even if he did go, it would only bring discomfort to everyone else.

“There’s still time to think it over. You can take your time and decide.” Xu Wenhao didn’t give up, gently encouraging him.

“I’ll think about it carefully.” Lü Chenyue stood up and turned to look at Xu Wenhao again, shifting the topic once more.

“You… didn’t you say you’d help me study? Can I… can I ask you to teach me?”

His head lowered, and his voice was timid.

Xu Wenhao was momentarily stunned, then smiled and walked toward him.

“Of course you can.” Then he gently took Lü Chenyue’s hand and walked with him into the room.

Looking at Xu Wenhao, who was holding his hand, Lü Chenyue only wanted to keep him from leaving too soon. He selfishly wanted him to stay.

After all—he had just allowed himself to be greedy for Xu Wenhao one more time…

(To be continued…)