AUS Chapter 18: I Want Liu Jiang to Be Happier

Another thing I regret now is not studying Chinese properly. Even if I got to do it all over again, Chinese class would still be my precious nap time.

I really hate Chinese. Looking at the system’s level-clearing hint, this hatred is especially profound.

At first, I thought it was playing a word game with me, just like the last level. Resist worldly perspectives. Changing a declarative sentence into an imperative one, making me unable to guess that the subject of the requirement was myself.

But I carefully read the objective again – Give him, the possibility, to like you.

It’s a complete sentence. I need to do or change something so that, even after missing the notebook incident, I can once again give Liu Jiang the feeling that I’m on his side.

Why does this sound so difficult?

I lifted my phone from knee level to my face. Just as I was racking my brains, I heard Liu Jiang’s timely comment: “Didn’t you say you were going to study vocabulary?”

The implication being, why are you playing with your phone?

I maintained my posture, locked the screen, and turned to look at him.

In the past, I would have had at least five ways to respond to his snarky remark, but from now on, I needed to weigh every word I said.

The system’s prompt gave me a bad feeling. Could there be a possibility that he would stop liking me, that we would drift apart?

Compared to drifting apart, I seemed to fear more being just an ordinary person by his side, leaving no lasting impression, simply appearing in his life for a moment, just like so many others around him.

After careful consideration, I chose to answer him honestly.

I said, “I can’t focus anymore.”

The corners of his mouth turned up in a chuckle, as if a good student like me struggling would make him particularly happy.

Again, if it were the past, I would have argued with him, but now, I simply gave up.

I closed my vocabulary book, put my pen in my pocket, stood up decisively, and said to him, “Good luck with your practice.”

These words were also for myself. I not only needed to work hard, but I also needed a quiet corner to think about how to do so.

I went downstairs to the living room and followed the sound of running water to the kitchen. Grandpa Liu was listening to a storytelling program on the radio, tinkering with something in the corner of the room. Grandma Liu was in the kitchen trimming chives. I volunteered to help her, but as always, she shooed me away, saying that having me around would just get in her way.

I went back out to watch Grandpa Liu repairing the wall, but in the end, I turned back inside. This time, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to help, but because I couldn’t understand what he was hammering.

I scratched my head, thinking that my current image, in addition to being a good student, should also include being physically weak and clumsy.

As I sat in a folding chair in the kitchen, lost in thought, the third member of Liu Jiang’s family appeared.

Liu Sisi was dressed to go out, in a floral dress and buckled boots. She had changed her hairstyle again today, long honey-brown hair with large waves at the ends.

She strode into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator door, took a bottle of mineral water, closed the door, and glanced at me.

“Are high school students this free these days?” she asked me.

Don’t let her tone fool you. I was used to her sharp tongue. Her implication was probably that she wanted to talk to me.

She was actually easier to understand than Liu Jiang.

I nodded, my tone sincere: “Sis, your hairstyle looks good today. It suits you.”

Liu Sisi was clearly not a cool girl who would be easily swayed by a little boy’s sweet talk, but my compliment was genuine. She really did look good, mainly because she resembled Liu Jiang a little – I mean, when she smiled.

Her smile quickly faded, and she said, “You’re smoother than Liu Jiang.”

Hearing Liu Jiang’s name from her mouth suddenly gave me a flash of inspiration. I quickly stood up and said to her, “Sis, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

Under the eaves, accompanied by the clanging sounds of Grandpa Liu’s repairs, I fabricated a story for Liu Sisi.

It was just some ordinary interpersonal conflict between high school students. I deliberately made the details complicated to cover up the flimsiness of my fabrication, and finally came to my point.

I asked Liu Sisi: “What should I do to stop Liu Jiang from being angry at me?”

Actually, Liu Jiang wasn’t angry with me at all. He had no reason to be. I was indirectly asking about Liu Jiang’s preferences.

Judging by her expression, Liu Sisi didn’t understand the interpersonal details I had made up. Her expression showed a kind of sophisticated indifference towards high school drama, and then she answered me: “High school boys are so easy to please – just go along with him, but don’t agree with everything. Liu Jiang is the kind of person who…”

She was choosing her words.

“Likes to be kept on his toes.”

I pretended not to understand, but in my heart, I understood perfectly. A masochist, I get it.

Just as I was feeling satisfied, Liu Sisi’s gaze drifted downwards and landed on the bear-printed short-sleeved shirt under my school uniform.

She said, “Oh? You’re wearing it? That shirt really suits you.”

Huh?

Then she told me: “Liu Jiang came to me a few days ago and said he made you angry. He wanted to buy you a shirt from the brand you usually wear and even asked me to go to the mall with him to help him choose.”

On the surface, I remained calm, but inside I was thinking, holy crap, how did we even come up with the same lie?

I could only pray that the details of his lie didn’t clash with mine, or that Liu Sisi wasn’t interested in the conflicting details.

Liu Sisi indeed wasn’t interested. She was ready to leave. She seemed to be going out with friends today and was in a good mood.

But after taking a couple of steps, she seemed to think of something interesting.

She stopped and turned to ask me: “You two aren’t… dating, are you?”

I still had that goofy high school student smile on my face when facing an adult. Hearing the question, the goofiness gradually transformed into a true reflection of my current emotions.

But I quickly came up with a strategy. First, I pretended not to hear clearly, questioning her, then frowning and retorting: “No way!”

No way.

You’re so fake, Yang Pingsheng.

I acted very well, but Liu Sisi still seemed to have some doubts. She blinked her narrowed eyes, then declared: “Just saying, I don’t have anything against homosexuals.”

I put on a sincere expression and denied it again.

She finally believed me, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand, and emphasized one more thing.

“You seem more reliable. Keep an eye on him for me,” she said. “If Liu Jiang tries to enter my room, don’t let him in.”

At that moment, I suddenly realized that they were cousins. Cousins – older sister roars, younger brother fears, fighting every day.

“Why would he go into your room?” I didn’t understand.

“I don’t care what he’s doing.” Liu Sisi was really in a hurry to leave this time. She waved at me over her shoulder, “Just stop him. If you do, I’ll owe you one!”

The sun was shining brightly today. Liu Sisi’s departing steps were like a butterfly, dancing under the shade of the trees. I watched from under the eaves, feeling that the siblings had quite a lot in common.

Just as I was lost in thought, a voice suddenly came from right above my head: “My sister’s pretty cool, isn’t she?”

I was startled and looked up. After my eyes met the lightbulb under the eaves, I realized Liu Jiang was at the second-floor window.

I took a few steps outside and looked up again. Sure enough, Liu Jiang was leaning out of the second-floor window. He was dressed simply today, just a loose black long-sleeved shirt. It was like we had swapped styles today.

I didn’t know when he had gotten there, or if he had heard anything, but after observing his carefree expression as he looked out the window, I was certain he hadn’t.

I asked him, “What are you doing up there?”

Unexpectedly, he chuckled, turned, and disappeared from the window. After a while, I heard approaching footsteps, and he reappeared in front of me.

He said, “Do me a favor.”

A minute later, we were standing in front of Liu Sisi’s room.

I said, “Do you know what your sister just told me?”

He was busy picking the lock with two hairpins, absentmindedly replying, “What?”

I said, “She told me to keep an eye on you and not let you into her room.”

He replied, “Oh.”

After picking the lock a couple more times, he seemed to finally realize what I had just said.

“Why won’t she let me in?” he stood up. “I’m not going to do anything.”

I thought he had changed his mind and was giving up, but he pulled out the hairpin, and the lock clicked open. He had already picked it.

“So what are you going to do?” I asked him.

Liu Sisi’s door was slightly ajar. The curtains were drawn, and inside was a feminine atmosphere completely different from Liu Jiang’s room. As a stranger, I would subconsciously avoid going in, but as siblings, Liu Jiang stepped inside without hesitation.

Something scarier than being an accomplice to a crime is being left alone at the door while the crime is being committed. The corridor was deserted, so I decided to follow Liu Jiang inside.

Liu Sisi’s room faced the opposite direction from Liu Jiang’s. It didn’t face the courtyard with the lilac bushes, but the street where cars occasionally passed by. Liu Jiang had already opened the curtains, and I kept my eyes straight ahead, not daring to look around.

Liu Jiang noticed my hesitation and reassured me: “It’s okay, I’ll put everything back before we leave.”

He went to the long table diagonally opposite the window and explained: “I just need to borrow my sister’s makeup.”

Only then did I notice that Liu Sisi’s white table was covered with cosmetics. Storage racks, small containers, drawers – all filled with bottles and jars of things I couldn’t name.

According to Liu Jiang, the venue for his upcoming performance was quite large, and going on stage without any makeup wasn’t realistic, so he wanted to try some on beforehand.

Liu Jiang expertly pulled out a low stool from under the table and then told me: “She’s a beauty blogger, occasionally posts videos. She can support herself, she’s pretty amazing.”

Finally, I understood why she had so many different kinds of cosmetics. I looked around the room, and the clothes racks were also filled with wigs and other accessories.

If I were just a high school student, such a free and easy life would make me envious, but I now had the soul of a twenty-six-year-old, so I thought of things that wouldn’t interest a high school student.

I asked: “How old is she?”

The implication being that if she was still young, taking a few years off wouldn’t be a bad idea, but Liu Sisi didn’t look like she was the same age as us high school students.

Liu Jiang didn’t react strongly to my question. He took a pen holder-shaped object from the storage rack and replied: “She’s been in college for three years, went for one year, and has been at home for two. The school said if she doesn’t go back, they won’t give her a diploma, but it doesn’t matter, my sister is so capable.”

His tone was genuinely unconcerned, even a bit proud, but I didn’t know if he was deliberately trying to reassure me or if he had unconditional faith in his sister – because my eyes swept across the table and landed on a bottle of Sertraline hydrochloride tablets.

It was in a small orange pill bottle, piled together with several other medications.

I didn’t say anything, pulled up a stool and sat down next to him, watching Liu Jiang open and close Liu Sisi’s drawers as if he were at home.

After a while, I decided to comment. I said to Liu Jiang, “You should be happier.”

Liu Jiang’s hand paused, then he gave a very soft “Mm.”

His gaze returned to the makeup table. Clearly, Liu Jiang had snuck into Liu Sisi’s room many times before. No wonder his sister had expressly forbidden him from entering and even asked for third-party supervision when she went out.

Unfortunately, this third party wasn’t very reliable either.

Liu Jiang finally finished working in front of the mirror. I was sitting at an angle to the mirror and couldn’t see his face clearly.

He seemed dissatisfied and reached for a wig nearby. I saw it clearly; it was the silver-white wig Liu Sisi was wearing the first day I saw her.

He put the wig on, and the next second, he turned to face me.

I felt my breath catch in my throat, as if I never needed to breathe in the first place.