AUS Chapter Chapter 41: I Won’t Hurt Liu Jiang—Maybe

To be honest, when Liu Jiang mentioned finding some fun, I had absolutely no idea what he would suggest next.

For him, anything could be boring, and yet anything could be fun. He was a motormouth with a strange sense of humor and emotions that changed on a whim.

Just as I had mentally prepared myself to spend the whole afternoon helping him search for this so-called “fun,” he unexpectedly gave me the answer.

He asked me, “Do you like hurting people?”

I heard a cicada chirp outside the window, but its sound quickly faded into a raspy, abrupt silence.

“Hurting who?” I asked, forcing a laugh.

Liu Jiang had said the exact same words to me once during an argument.

After we started university, before I got a girlfriend, I forget what we were fighting about, but we were arguing all the time back then. The reasons were always petty, so petty that I can’t recall them now no matter how hard I try.

I don’t remember the reason that day either, but I remember it was our worst fight ever. We were arguing over the phone, and my best roommate even witnessed part of it. He had clearly never seen me look so vicious.

I was in the emergency stairwell of the dorm. He had been on his way to get some water, but seeing me like that, he hugged the wall and scurried past. It wasn’t until two hours later, when I was back in the room, that he dared to tentatively speak to me.

“How did that person piss you off so bad?” he asked.

“Piss me off?” I was preparing paperwork for a competition at the time and shook my head, annoyed. “It’s nothing. Just a special person.”

Describing our tangled relationship with just the word “special” was a bit too casual. We had been entangled ever since the summer after our high school graduation. In public, we were a bickering, happy-go-lucky couple; behind closed doors, we didn’t have a second’s worth of patience for each other.

I remember that whenever we both had free time, we wouldn’t be able to leave the room for an entire afternoon. Even if we did step out, it was just to find food or use the bathroom. After taking care of our physiological needs, we would be sucked back into the vortex of the bed, the clock ticking away emptily as we lost ourselves in drunken bliss.

But besides that?

It seemed we were only ever in sync when we reverted to our most primitive selves. He liked pain, and I liked inflicting it on others. I was willing for him to hurt me too, though he wasn’t as keen.

When it was all over and we returned to civilized society, we wore each other down at every turn. From small things like our summer plans to big things like a declaration of love, or the lack thereof, we were like two rough pieces of glass, grating harshly and unpleasantly against each other.

Was it because I didn’t love him? Or was it the opposite, because I did?

Anyway, during that fight, he suddenly stopped and asked me a question. He asked, “Do you like hurting people?”

I was at the peak of my anger and had no time to ponder the meaning of his words. I retorted immediately, “Don’t you dare label me. You’re no better than I am.”

Liu Jiang went silent. Just as I abruptly realized I might have gone too far, he laughed and said, “You don’t like hurting other people. You just like hurting me.”

It was a strained laugh, his voice trembling. I could imagine his expression even through the phone.

After that, I randomly found someone and started dating her. Three days later, he showed up at my university. My whirlwind girlfriend and I broke up. A year after that, Liu Jiang and I completely stopped seeing each other.

But that’s all in the past.

I still remember what he said to me.

Back in the present, my dumbfounded expression must have been hideous. I blinked, trying to make my face look more natural. I answered my own question: “Anyone but you is fine.”

Liu Jiang, completely oblivious to my strange reaction, muttered to himself, “Really? I could actually use someone who can hurt me.”

What kind of hurt?

I squinted at him, but this wasn’t like the time in the gym storage room. He wasn’t recalling the past, nor was he hinting at anything towards me. He was genuinely looking for someone who could “hurt” him.

He said, “I want someone to help me pierce my ear.”

Then he turned to look at me. “Can you do it or not?”

It turned out that when we were staking out Qin Bowen, he had browsed an accessory shop and bought two disposable ear-piercing guns.

The reason was simple: he was curious and wanted to try it himself. Plus, getting piercings is the kind of thing that becomes more and more addictive—I have no experience, this is just a conclusion I’ve drawn from watching him.

He bought them but didn’t have the courage to try. He held them up, aimed a few times, but ultimately put them back. Now that I was here, he was entrusting this important task to me.

A man can’t say he can’t.

Our positions reversed. I knelt on the bedsheets while he lay with his head on my lap. I held the small, stapler-like gadget, testing it out a few times. In my peripheral vision, I could see his eyes, sparkling as he looked up, seemingly trusting me completely.

But I didn’t trust myself.

“Change positions,” I said. “You looking at me like that makes me feel like I’m going to pierce it crooked.”

After some fussing, he switched to lying on his side on my lap. Now it was even weirder. We looked like we were acting out some trashy romance novel, the kind where the female lead can’t string a sentence together and the audience can’t stop complaining.

“Nope,” I said again. “Change again.”

In the end, we sat up properly. He sat at the desk facing the window, and I stood behind him.

He pushed me at the last second, “Are you sure you can do this?”

I forgot to be stubborn. “I don’t know, I’ve never done this before!”

“No way!” He suddenly grabbed one of my wrists. “I’m nervous!!”

I grabbed the wrist that was grabbing my wrist. “Let go, don’t grab me, let go! You’re making me more nervous!”

If someone had been listening outside the door, they probably would have thought we were engaged in some grand act of physical harmony.

To be honest, my mind went there too. I thought of a certain night after our high school graduation, but since the plot hasn’t progressed that far yet, I won’t give Liu Jiang any spoilers.

Ultimately, the two of us ended up in Liu Sisi’s room. Seeing my crooked collar and Liu Jiang’s messy hair, plus one ear that had been tugged bright red, she could probably guess what had happened.

She was much more efficient than either of us, quickly preparing alcohol wipes and iodine. With a wave of her hand, she had her disappointing brother sit down.

Two minutes later, Liu Jiang opened his tightly shut eyes. A rhinestone stud now adorned each of his earlobes. Liu Sisi was so swift and precise that not a single drop of blood was shed.

I didn’t dare breathe. This woman was not to be underestimated.

“All done.”

She didn’t even pat Liu Jiang’s shoulder before turning to dispose of the medical waste.

Now it was my turn to come up behind him and pat his shoulder. “All done!”

Now Liu Jiang had two studs on each earlobe. If my memory served me right, his next choices would be either his cartilage or his lip. I wouldn’t dare touch either of those places, and I doubted Liu Sisi would take on the job. He’d have to find a professional for that.

Back in his room, Liu Jiang admired his new earrings in a small mirror Liu Sisi had given him.

“I feel like two on one side is a little weird,” he said after looking for a long time. He put the mirror down, then couldn’t resist picking it up again.

He was wearing a loose, psychedelic-print T-shirt today. On anyone else, I would’ve thought it was a classic otaku shirt, but on him, it looked strangely fitting. Later, he did tell me that he had indeed bought it on a whim at some anime convention in middle school, the same one worn by the 200-pound tech nerd manning the booth.

Anyway, it suited him.

“It’s not bad,” I replied, since I had seen him covered in piercings before. “Metal suits you, see?”

It was summer vacation, and he hadn’t bothered to dye his white hair back. The half-black, half-white hair had grown out, giving him a different vibe from the past.

I was lying down, he was sitting. As the sky grew dark, the atmosphere began to feel boring again.

I wasn’t afraid of boredom itself, but I was afraid that if Liu Jiang got quiet, he’d start brooding.

In the end, although I had exacted some bloody revenge on Gu Tongyu, hurting people was not something Liu Jiang enjoyed. If I weren’t there with him, he’d definitely curl up under the covers and turn into a bedsheet burrito.

Just as I rolled over, thinking of some new fun, I suddenly heard the front door open downstairs.

Footsteps followed—and it wasn’t just one person, it was several!

What was this? A home invasion? Just as I shot up, the sound reached the door.

The door flew open. Hao Zi was in the lead, yelling, “What’s going on, what’s going on? Vice squad raid!”

Liang Yi followed close behind, barging in boisterously like a monkey. I couldn’t make out what he was rambling on about.

Although I knew Hao Zi was joking, I couldn’t help but glance at Liu Jiang. He was clearly used to their unannounced visits. He showed no particular reaction, calmly fist-bumping each of them.

“Why didn’t you two reply to my message?” Hao Zi asked, putting down the gear he was holding.

Only then did I see clearly. Hao Zi was holding a plastic bucket filled with an assortment of children’s sand toys.

Liang Yi’s getup was even more direct. He was wearing big five-quarter-length swim trunks and a Scooby-Doo tank top that looked like it had seen many years of beachcombing.

“Uh, we fell asleep,” Liu Jiang said, making an excuse.

Liang Yi was blunt. Without a second thought, he asked, “You two slept together?”

Hao Zi punched him. “I told you, it’s a vice squad raid!” he scolded.

The two of them burst into laughter, and the atmosphere instantly livened up. They both knew a little about what happened between Liu Jiang and Gu Tongyu and knew he was probably in a bad mood, so they had taken it upon themselves to organize a night of beachcombing. They had notified Liu Jiang beforehand, but at that moment, we were busy contemplating what position to use—for the ear piercing—so we hadn’t seen the message.

“You in?” Hao Zi asked Liu Jiang.

I knew Liu Jiang loved the sea. He even had a surfboard in the corner of his room. The first time he brought me here, he had even shown me his collection of diving goggles.

Even though Liancheng just had the typical rocky northern beaches, and its one “golden” beach was just sand imported from the south, and the water visibility probably wasn’t good enough for diving, none of that stopped Liu Jiang’s love for seemingly meaningless things.

He never pursued “meaning” in anything he did.

So when Hao Zi invited him, he agreed without a moment’s hesitation.

“Let’s go!”

His answer was met with a roomful of cheers.

He leaped up and dove into his closet. After rummaging through it, he suddenly remembered something and whipped his head around to face me.

Hao Zi and Liang Yi were already chattering their way down the stairs. Only he and I were left in the room.

The joyous cheering from a moment ago had nothing to do with me, because I was destined to go home before midnight, most likely unable to enjoy such a carefree, youthful night.

But just this once, could I break the rules?

“Do you want to go?” he asked me.

I felt a sense of helplessness, but I couldn’t let it show. If I was unhappy, he wouldn’t be very happy either.

I pretended to be nonchalant and sighed dramatically. “You guys go ahead. My parents have me on a tight leash.”

The noisy chatter was downstairs, and the sky outside was beginning to blush with the pinks and blues of twilight. Liu Jiang opened his mouth and asked me, “Then do you want to run away with me?”