BB Ch 33

I put on the suit I had left to dry and neatly touched my hair. The Korean beef set I received yesterday, as well as the gift I prepared separately, were both nicely prepared.

I had some time before Choi Sung-hoon arrived, so I sat in the living room, and my eyes became dizzy from the headache. My stomach hurts as well… I poured both pain relievers and tranquilizers at the same time.

While I was cleaning my chest, I received a loud phone call from my uncle, who asked when I was going to come. I couldn’t go because I was busy, so when I offered to give him some pocket money, he became quiet. It was always like this.

I was spacing out with a broken cell phone in my hand and got up when Choi Sung-hoon arrived.

I raised the corners of my mouth in front of the mirror in front of the door. I tried to lift the subdued mood, but it was not easy.

I was looking forward to meeting Choi Sung-hoon’s family… I’m afraid now.

I must smile though. I made a wide smile and went outside.

The previous day’s bitter cold was overshadowed by the spring-like weather.

So I was a little lonely.

A familiar sedan soon arrived. Choi Sung-hoon stepped out of the sedan, which had come to a gentle stop. I approached in amazement.

“You don’t have to come out. I can get it by myself…” 

“Why didn’t you wait inside?”

Choi Sung-hoon took the luggage from both of my hands and put it in the back seat. Then he opens the passenger door and waits for me to get on… The sequence of actions was so natural.

His home was in Bucheon. There had several houses in Seoul, but they said they would gather at Bucheon’s house during the holidays. How rich was he? I’m afraid my gift will be shabby.

As we left the busy road on the first day of the holiday and entered a quiet road, we came to a cluster of rural houses.

“We’ll be arriving soon.”

“Let’s stop by the pharmacy for a moment.”

Squeak.

The car stopped before I could even finish my words.

“Why? Are you sick?”

“I’m going to buy some relaxing pills. I should eat about three.”

I was sincere, but Choi Sung-hoon loosened his stiff expression and smiled briefly.

“Maybe the chairman has already eaten five.”

“Chairman?”

“There is no need to be nervous. It’s those people who have to fit your mood… If it bothers you, we will come back immediately.”

Choi Sung-hoon started the car again. As I pondered what he had said, I asked.

“Did you just call your parents “those people”?”

“…”

“No, that’s possible. I told my parents that they were the people…”

How could that be? Even when I was in the midst of rebellion in my mid-teens, I didn’t use the title ‘Those people’.

But each house has a different culture, so it could be… right? Maybe it’s a bad relationship?

I was a little worried.

* * * 

We arrived at a country house surrounded by a high wall. The gate opened, and the car drove through the yard or even the garden, followed by two white Jindo dogs.

“I can’t believe there’s a dog. You didn’t tell me you had a dog!”

“…I didn’t know either.”

I wanted to get out of the car as soon as possible, so I unbuckled my seat belt before we even came to a complete stop. The Jindo dog’s tail was rapidly wagging from side to side.

I put my face to the window and looked around when I heard low laughter and turned around. Choi Sung-hoon put his palm to the corner of his mouth and looked at me.

“It wags its tail.”

“Yeah, it’s really cute. It seems to follow people well.”

“I guess so.”

I opened the door and got out as soon as he finished parking in the garden. The puppies ran up to me and attempted to hug me as they jumped, waved their tails, licked their feet, and went crazy. I squatted in place, hugged and stroked them.

It seems they like people so much. Choi Sung-hoon’s large palm covered my face as the puppies were about to lick it.

“Let’s go in. They are waiting for you.”

“Yes…”

Choi Sung-hoon lifted me up. He took the load I had in both of my hands with one hand and took my hand with the other. As we walked, dogs barked and followed us.

Except for the road, the gardens and houses covered in white snow were beautiful. It was like a different world.

At the front door, Choi Sung-hoon looked at me and told me to ring the doorbell. I gulped, and as soon as I placed my finger on the doorbell, it swung open.

“Brother, you are here!”

It happened so quickly that I heard a ding-dong and a ringtone after the door opened.

“Give me your luggage. Please come in.”

After receiving the luggage with a smile on his face, Sung-hyun looked at me and rebuked me for taking 5 minutes to get here from the main gate. Choi Sung-hoon took off his shoes first.

There were several pairs of shoes in the corridor. Men’s and women’s shoes, as well as sneakers that roll next to an angled and tidy loafer.

“Seo-yu ssi?”

Ah.

Get a hold of yourself.

“I’m nervous… haha.”

“They would have been more nervous.”

Choi Sung-hoon smiled as if I was cute.

It was not good for my heart.

I moved my shoes to the corner and wore indoor slippers that had been left for me. Following Choi Sung-hoon, I entered the living room after passing through a short porch.

A big man stood vaguely in the middle of the living room. After a brief glance at Choi Sung-hoon, his father found me and opened his eyes wide.

“Are you Seo-yu?”

“Ah, hello. Nice to meet you.”

Choi Sung-hoon’s father was very different from what I had imagined.

He was shorter than Choi Sung-hoon, but he was bigger. He was tough, like a wrestler, and his beard was growing wildly. He was dressed in a black short-sleeved t-shirt, and the tattoos on the back of his arm drew my attention.

Gangster? He must be a gangster, right? Is he a fucking gangster or just an intimidating looking man?

“Hmm… Are you a celebrity by profession?”

“Yes? No, I work for ordinary company.”

“How old are you?”

“I am twenty-eight this year.”

“Hmm…”

Every time Choi Sung-hoon’s father asked me a question, I felt compelled to bow my head and apologize.

“Get out of here. I can’t see him because of you.”

Choi Sung-hoon’s mother appeared after beating his father in the back of the head.

His father said, “I’m sorry… ” and stepped away…

“Welcome, Seo-yu ssi.”

“Hello, Mother.”

His mother had a pale face and wore thin silver-rimmed glasses. It was a cold impression, but the eye level was almost close to mine. They were a male Alpha and a female omega couple.

“We welcome you very much.”

… Was she from a foreign country?

“Thank you. Please speak comfortably, mother.”

“Okay. come sit here. Sung-hyun-ah, take their clothes.”

“Yep.”

Even the mother did not greet her eldest son with enthusiasm. As far as I know, it must have been a very long time.

Sung-hyun took our coats and the gift set I had brought. One was a Korean beef set, and the other was a Western drink and Japanese confectionery. His mother thanked me as well, but his father only stared at me.

As I moved, I whispered to Choi Seong-hoon.

“Your mother must have come from abroad.”

“She was born in Suncheon, Jeollanam-do.”

“What? But why her talking… ”

“She has never used honorifics before. And I told you. I’m sure these people were more nervous.”

After hearing the answer, I felt that his parents was ittle cute.

We sat in a circle in the living room because it was early for dinner. It was a sitting table with a fireplace beside it. The front of the living room had a window that looked out onto the snow-covered garden.

Despite the fact that it was a holiday, a housekeeper was present and served refreshments and tea. My stomach churned from the smell of herbal medicine and tea.

“You don’t like herbal medicine?”

“Oh, no. I like it.”

“If you don’t like it, don’t eat it.”

I wanted to cry because his father’s tone was so harsh. I raised my fork to eat mustard. Choi Sung-hoon opened his mouth as if he was trying to say something to me, but before that, his mother put down the fork.

“Don’t misunderstand him; that’s how he talks. Would you like me to bring you rice cakes or Korean sweets if you don’t like herbal medicine? What about the Japanese sweets you brought?”

“Ah… It’s fine. If mother and father want Japanese sweets, I’ll go and bring them.”

“You should speak comfortably as well. What do you mean mother and father.”

… Wasn’t that a commonly used title? Was it ironic that I don’t dare use it?

“I want to eat! Mom, I want some Japanese sweets?”

“Okay. Kim Jeong-hee, please bring out something this child brought.”

“Yes.”

His mother had a cold expressionless face most of the time, but when she looked at Sung-hyun, she had a faint smile on her lips.

The helper brought the Japanese sweets on a pretty plate. Sung-hyun and his father both took out their cell phones before eating. Sung-hyun planned to share it on social media, but why was his father…

“Seo-yu, do you have any social media account?”

“I have an ID.”

His father then told me to follow him and gave me his ID. I quickly turned on my phone and immediately regretted it. It was because I remembered my ex-boyfriends’ traces. I was worried for a while that I would simply say no, but then the thought faded away.

It doesn’t matter Choi Sung-hoon and I are just sex friends.

“Hmm, 34 followers… By the way, I have 340.”

“Wow, that’s a lot. I’m envious.”

“Hyung, I have 3,400 people.”

“Yeah, that’s a lot…”

Choi Sung-hyun, however, doesn’t notice…

While Sung-hyun was speaking, his father flicked the screen of his phone, came to a halt and showed it to his mother.

“Honey, I guess this is the bouquet that Director Choi gave him.”

“I know because Sung-hyun showed me.”

“I envy you… I think I’ll be happy if I receive flowers as a gift. I’ll also brag about it on social media. I wish I could get a bouquet of red roses like this. At the very least one rose. It is not the number that is important. What matters is the giver.”

His father strongly expressed his desire to receive flowers. Mother raised her glasses once as if she was tired.

“Ask your son to buy it for you. Don’t say something like that in front of your guests.”

“Yes, Dad. I’ll buy it for you. Seo-yu hyung will be disheartened.”

His father then pouted his lips. He was clearly unhappy, but neither his mother, Sung-hyun, nor Choi Sung-hoon were concerned about his father’s feelings.

“Director Choi. It’s been a while since I saw you. Please let me hear your voice.”

“Yes, it’s been a while.”

“I didn’t know you’d bring someone for the first time in 15 years.”

“I introduced them. Seo-yu hyung and hyung, met because of me. Did I do well?”

“Good job, our youngest.”

Certainly, their mother became infinitely gentle with Sung-hyun. The gaze was different. That doesn’t mean that she was cold to Choi Sung-hoon. Her pride in her eldest son stayed unchanged. Rather, Choi Sung-hoon was blunt and cold. Compared to when he looked at me… His gaze was different.

“Please scold Choi Sung-hyun for driving without a license properly. Don’t just wrap it around.”

“It’s fine as long as he doesn’t get into any more trouble. It’s in the past.”

“That’s right. Thanks to me, you met your lover…”

Sung-hyun timidly protested.

What exactly do you mean lover? I’ve been having an absurd misunderstanding. Uh… Wait a minute. 

I blinked my eyes. I just realized during the conversation that Choi Sung-hoon’s parents were aware that I was going to die that day.

He brought me here because his parents wanted to see the person who had been saved by his immature younger brother.

I had a very complicated feeling.

“This is delicious. The sweets just melt in my mouth… Mom, try it, too.”

When Sung-hyun realized his mistake, he changed the subject to Japanese sweets. Father occupied mother’s mouth at lightning speed before she picked up one. His mother accepted it very naturally with only her mouth open.

The two of them must be turning 60… The atmosphere around them was wonderful.

It was such a harmonious family.

“It’s delicious? How is it, honey?”

“Seo-yu-gun has a good eye. I like it. But, why don’t you eat it?”

Gun= (polite form) A pronoun referring to the listener when he/she is the speaker’s friend or younger than the speaker.

“Please call me comfortably, mother. ​Because my name is only one letter, everyone refers to me by my surname. At your convenience…”

“Sure, then. Yu-ya.”

My heart sank in an instant. I smiled and bit the inside of my cheek.

“Seo-yu ssi, you should eat as well.”

Next to me, Choi Sung-hoon held my hand and handed me a Japanese sweet.

Strangely, it didn’t bother me at all. A short while ago, the smell was nauseating…

I couldn’t just open my mouth and eat it like his mother, so I took it carefully and ate it with my hands. I gave one to Choi Sung-hoon, but he just opened his mouth and ate it on my hand.

It was so cute. So my heart fluttered.

In the meantime, Sung-hyun pushed his cell phone and told his brother to feed me the flower snack one more time, but a voice notification saying, “This is a video,” came out and was criticized by Choi Sung-hoon. His mother and father said that it was the first time they had eaten something with a look of dismay since they gave baby food.

The tension was relieved a bit.

I could see what I couldn’t see after my stiff body relaxed. Things like the golden shell of the sweets that fell under the table or the two dogs in the living room corner.

I asked, pointing to the dogs who were biting each other’s ears in the garden.

“How old are the dogs? I heard that Choi Sung-hoon ssi saw them for the first time today.”

“It’s been over 10 years, maybe.”

“Yes, honey. The eldest is thirteen and the younger is ten years old.”

I looked at Choi Sung-hoon. How could you not know when they have been raised for so long?

“It’s been quite a while… since I left home, so I didn’t know.”

Yeah, that’s possible. Choi Sung-hoon could be unaware or insensitive. I guess he wasn’t aware of his parents’ dogs.

Of course, if it had been someone else who didn’t know, like Sung-hyun or Won-jo, I would have cursed him for being insensitive.

But it’s okay because it’s Choi Sung-hoon.

Part 2

“I adopted them when I was in elementary school. Aren’t they cute? Their names are yachae and chaeso. The big one is yachae. Should I bring him? Do you want to pet them?”

“No, let them play.”

Come to think of it, I think their photos were sometimes uploaded on Sung-hyun’s SNS. I’ll go home later and take a look.

We talked a lot while eating Japanese sweets.

Sung-hyun said his mother graduated from physical education after his father graduated from business administration. His father was the one who proposed.  Sung-hyun recently purchased a home close to the university. His father was disappointed that he only ate out with his family 13 times last year, and his mother asked Choi Sung-hoon to respond occasionally.

He even blew out about our good night call every day before I fell asleep. I was worried that I might have ruined the image of a lone beast in the family, but there was no sign of anger from Choi Sung-hoon, who sat silently next to me.

Choi Sung-hoon’s parents rarely asked me about my personal life. Except for Choi Sung-hoon… As for my family, they didn’t even ask a simple question about whether he had seen my parents even though it was a holiday.

After a few hours, the housekeeper asked as to whether she could prepare a meal. However, the Japanese sweets made me feel full, and the smell of rice made me nauseated. His mother then responded that she should prepare it right away. If I can’t eat it, I’ll have to ask for help from Choi Sung-hoon.

“Oh, Kim Jung-hee. Please bring me some German bacon. I need to feed Seo-yu because he is so thin.”

“Oh… Thank you very much.”

I thanked mother for taking care of me, but I doubted if I could eat it.

People rushed out from somewhere when the helper, Kim Jeong-hee, said, “I will prepare a meal.” There were two of them and both dressed in aprons. There had to be three housekeepers in total.

“Mom, did you buy bacon? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Did you have time to talk with me when I came in yesterday? Germany is great. I should go again in the summer.”

“What?”

His father jumped to his feet and exclaimed, “What?” He looked like a bear standing alone, with a rough appearance and a rugged body.

“Where else are you going? No more going abroad.”

“Then I’ll go around Asia, not Germany.”

“But I can’t wait any longer. I miss you so much and I want to hear your voice.”

“You do video calls all the time. You’re overreacting, just sit down.”

“Mom… Why did you say that? Dad is going to cry again.”

Sung-hyun stopped her late because his father was already crying.

Is it a sitcom?

Choi Sung-hoon wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I stared there with my mouth open and whispered.

“That’s why I left home early.”

“Yes…”

I nodded.

“I decide where and when I’m going.”

“We are a couple. You have to respect my opinion.”

“That’s why you put up with it for ten years until last year. I write a travel column…”

It was a sitcom with a twist.

“You can’t go! Take me if you want to go. I don’t know anymore. I’m full!”

His father ended up lying down in the living room. Mother raised her glasses and opened her mouth as she looked at her pathetic husband, who was lying with his arms crossed and a body the size of a house.

“Choi Sung-hyun. Bring a knife.”

“Huh?”

“Bring it to me quickly so she can’t leave me again. Look at me! If I am hospitalized, you won’t be able to leave! Bring it quickly. That’s just… ”

I sat next to Choi Sung-hoon and watched while eating virtual popcorn. Sung-hyun rolled his eyes as his mother stood up and said she would bring the knife with her own hands. At the same time, Choi Sung-hoon and I both stood up.

I thought he was trying to stop them, but Choi Sung-hoon grabbed my hand and led me into the living room. He showed me the stairs and took me up there.

“It’s noisy, can you come in for a while? The room on the right is my old room.”

“Yes, I’ll be inside. Please tell me the ending later.”

“…Yes, I understand.”

I was curious about the ending of the sitcom, but I also wondered about Choi Sung-hoon’s old room.

I went up the stairs while listening to his father’s screeching and carefully opened the door.

“…”

It was disappointing…

It seems that the furniture was removed after Choi Sung-hoon left. There was only one bed and an empty desk in the room.

I sat on the bed.

It seems to be well-kept because there was no dust.

Outside the window, white snow-covered branches could be seen.

Choi Sung-hoon grew up here.

In a home with friendly and open parents and a charming younger brother, with a view of the garden from the window.

He must have lived a harmonious life since he was a child.

I think he would have thought it was distracting when he had to study. Distracted… I think he’ll be shy to see others.

He must have suffered a bit because he was alone with such a reticent personality.

The older brother was always cool and cold, so maybe that’s why the younger brother was more lively.

The father and eldest brother addressed their mother formally, while the youngest son addressed her informally.

“…”

No… It was not weird.

It was due to the fact that the youngest son was so adorable. Because she loves the younger son who has a big age gap with the eldest.

an older brother who protects his younger brother from being scolded by his parents

I had one as well.

I also had a family like that.

I smiled sadly and at the same time felt a warm feeling on my cheeks.

It was tears.

Ever since I lost my family… I’ve never shed anything other than physiological tears… I cried during my first relationship, but it was only for a short time.

But now I can’t contain my tears.

Ah, ah, why am I crying? I must be crazy. This is Choi Sung-hoon’s home!

Shit, if I get caught, I’ll be screwed.

I hurriedly wiped my tears with my sleeves, but they didn’t stop flowing.

I hit my chest hard because I didn’t want to cry.

But I kept thinking only sad and regretful thoughts.

Would I be okay once I left this crazy, distracting house and returned to my quiet home?

A drawer where one of the kitchen doors had fallen off… The refrigerator making noise.

The dusty bed in the master bedroom, the clothes that my brother left behind.

Too much cutlery for a single person, dirty toothbrushes, and shoes that no one wears on the porch.

The shopping cart carrier that my mother always brought to work.

The fur hat that my father used to make fun of for looking like a roasted chestnut seller after wearing it.

A laptop that my brother passed on to me to study.

Would I be okay in the midst of countless silent objects?

I don’t want to cry, but I keep thinking about it.

When I was playing on my cell phone in my small room and smelled delicious, my mother would laugh and say, ‘I knew this would happen’.

‘Our youngest. Did you come out knowing that the meal was ready?’

‘It’s amazing timing every day. Don’t leave any beans today.’

‘Yu-ya, don’t use your phone while eating.’

I had it too.

Mom, dad, and brother.

I had one as well.

Why not now?

They had gone. Everyone left me alone.

It felt like my heart had burst.

I couldn’t stop crying once it broke out, so I couldn’t hear it. The sound of someone coming up the stairs.

“OMG…” 

Someone yelped as I continued to wipe my eyes with my sleeve while crying.

Choi Sung-hyun was standing outside the open door in the hallway. He opened his eyes wide and made a strange expression that was difficult to put into words.

“Hyung, are you crying?”

“Oh no, I’m not crying. There’s pepper in my eyes-.”

I shook my head quickly as I groaned in the rising anxiety.

“Seo-yu hyung, are you crying?”

“Hey, be quiet, I’m not crying.”

“Seo-yu hyung, crying!”

“Hey…!”

“Mom, dad. Seo-yu hyung is crying!”

Ah…

“Sung-hoon hyung, Seo-yu hyung is crying! He is crying his eyes out!”

Looking at the back of Choi Sung-hyun, who disappeared shouting, “Seo-yu hyung is crying,” I swore that I would sprinkle pepper on his eyes one day.

Did Sung-hyun have no sense when he was born?

Should I jump out of that window now?

When I was thinking about it, I heard a heavy yet hasty step. Soon after, the person I was expecting appeared.

“…Seo-yu ssi.”

Our eyes met, and I felt a little embarrassed, so I hid my face behind my hair. Choi Sung-hoon hurriedly closed the door and walked over.

“Are you okay?”

“No…”

“…”

“I’m so embarrassed…”

There was no smile on Choi Sung-hoon’s face. He sat with his legs bent in front of me. Then he took my chin in his hands, looked around, and wiped my tears away with a soft tissue. Because I was still crying, the tissue quickly became wet.

He asked softly, but he seemed to have made the most affectionate and warmest voice he could make.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. I just suddenly burst into tears.”

“I am upset.”

I’m also upset. I’m not even 18, I’m a 28-year-old grown-up, and I cry so much in my sex partner’s house.

Haa… Choi Sung-hyun, I’m going to sprinkle pepper on your eyes. How should I look at his parents’ faces? I’m going insane because I’m embarrassed.

“Someone’s tears are… like this… It was upsetting.”

Choi Sung-hoon’s voice was like a very deep cave. It’s as if you can hear it with your heart rather than your ears. He threw away tissues and hugged me as I was crying, mumbling that he knew what he didn’t know so far.

“…”

He hugged me tightly without saying a word and patted my back.

Choi Sung-hoon’s expensive shirt was wet with my tears.

I also gave up on my tears, which would not stop but only made them flow even more.

I wanted to cry, and Choi Sung-hoon patted my back as if telling me it was okay to cry.

So I cried. The tears flowed endlessly, I barely managed to hold back my sobbing.

After crying so hard, I couldn’t lift my head for a long time.

Because I’m embarrassed.

When Choi Sung-hoon realized that I had stopped crying, he gently patted my back and asked me to drink some water.

I asked, putting my face on his shoulder. If we would climb down the tree through the window and go back.