BIAC CH 20

Chapter 20: Ge, I’m sorry… I’m not ready yet.

Du Jianyou tugged him into the bedroom. This room had always been off-limits to anyone but himself. Tonight marked only the second time someone else had stepped in here—and the first, naturally, had also been Tang He.

Tang He wasn’t a stranger to being dragged into a bedroom like this. But being pulled in by a man? That was definitely a first. To say he wasn’t nervous would be a lie—but to claim he didn’t know what would happen next would be disingenuous.

He had always been the one to take the initiative. Yet now, looking at the mischievous smile on this little seducer’s face, Tang He stood still, curious to see what kind of tricks Du Jianyou had up his sleeve.

Du Jianyou slowly began unfastening Tang He’s belt. Then with a sharp swish, he pulled it off entirely and tossed it with a thud to the side of the door. Next, he grabbed Tang He by the collar and yanked him close, pressing near his ear and whispering softly, “In here, we do things my way…”

Spellbound, Tang He nodded obediently, eager to see what came next.

“No shower, no bed,” Jianyou announced clearly—no longer seductive but crisp and bossy, like a nagging mom scolding a dirty kid. He shoved Tang He away, arms crossed and chin held high, grinning as he declared, “Bath time.”

“Huh?” Tang He, all tensed up and ready for action, stared at him in disbelief.

“You’re saying I have to shower now?” he asked again, still clinging to hope. But Jianyou raised an eyebrow, clearly saying, “Or else it’s the couch tonight.” No room for negotiation.

Tang He sighed. Looks like I’ve really fallen into your trap tonight, Du Jianyou. Let’s see how I’ll deal with you later. Resigned, he accepted the full set of brand-new pajamas and underwear Jianyou handed over.

Still, he couldn’t resist teasing him: “So you had all this ready for me? Were you sure I’d come over?”

Du Jianyou turned bright red. “Don’t flatter yourself! I just accidentally bought it two sizes too big—it’s not like I got it especially for you…” Before he could finish his sentence, Tang He sealed his lips with a kiss.

Furious, Jianyou tried to hit him, but Tang He quickly escaped into the bathroom, mumbling, “So dishonest…” leaving behind a steaming red-faced Du Jianyou.

As he watched Tang He step into the shower, the playful smile on Du Jianyou’s lips slowly faded.

Tonight, he had finally gotten what he had longed for—his feelings were reciprocated by the person he liked, and the joy in his heart was nearly overflowing. Not only had he shamelessly asked the man to stay, he had even pulled him into his room. And now, with the man he loved just a door away, showering… Du Jianyou started to panic. Was this all happening too soon?

He had no experience! Clutching his head, he spun around the room in a panic. What should he do? He truly, completely, had zero experience—with neither men nor women. Even his own personal experiences with himself… were pathetically rare. What if Tang He, someone who had clearly “seen the world,” ended up disliking how clumsy or inexperienced he was?

Ugh! Just as he was agonizing over whether the night could still go smoothly, a random, completely unhelpful line popped into his head. He froze like he’d been struck by lightning. A bitter thought followed: So in the end, I’ve lived up to the rumors—I’ve climbed into the big boss’s bed. And not just any boss… the biggest one. Wow. Good job, me.

All the chaotic emotional ups and downs he’d been through lately—happy one moment, anxious the next—finally surged up and spilled out as tears.

By the time Tang He stepped out of the shower, Du Jianyou was already waiting beside the bathroom door, holding his pajamas, head down. The moment Tang He came out, Du Jianyou rushed in like a whirlwind, yelling from inside, “I take a long time to shower! Don’t wait for me—go ahead and sleep!”

Tang He figured he was just shy and didn’t think much of it. But when he had finished drying his hair, poked around on his phone several times, and still didn’t see Du Jianyou come out—locking himself in the bathroom like his life depended on it—Tang He began to grow suspicious.

He turned off the bedroom light and called toward the bathroom, “I’m going to sleep then, okay?” Then he climbed into bed, tucked himself in, and pretended to sleep.

After a while, Du Jianyou finally crept out of the bathroom. Tang He listened to his footsteps drawing near… stopping right by the bed—but there was no sound of him climbing in. He simply stood there. Then, after a while, he turned and walked away, gently closing the bedroom door behind him.

Hearing the soft click of the door, Tang He cracked open one eye to confirm he was alone. He sat up immediately, completely baffled. What just happened? Wasn’t everything going perfectly before his shower? Why had everything changed afterward?

He waited a bit longer. When it seemed Du Jianyou wasn’t planning on returning anytime soon, he decided to go find out what was going on with this little drama king.

Carefully opening the bedroom door, Tang He padded out to the living room—and saw Du Jianyou curled up on the sofa, hugging himself, head buried in his knees. It was the exact same posture he’d had that time in the office after being wronged.

Concerned, Tang He sat down beside him and wrapped his arms around him gently—just like he had back then—and asked softly, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Du Jianyou lifted his head. His red, watery eyes startled Tang He, who instantly panicked and rambled, “What happened? Did I do something wrong? I-I-I’m sorry! Even if I don’t know what I did, I’ll still apologize first—”

Du Jianyou sniffled, then shyly leaned closer into Tang He’s arms. In a soft voice, he said, “I should be the one saying sorry… I don’t think I’m ready yet.”

Hearing those words felt like a thunderbolt straight to Tang He’s head—right after one had already hit Du Jianyou. He sat frozen, completely stunned. The man who had just shared a kiss of mutual confession with him… was now saying he wasn’t ready?

Tang He had held back his emotions for so long. And once he let them loose, they came crashing like a flood. And now… how was he supposed to stop them?

“So what now?” Tang He stared at Du Jianyou in shock. “You’re telling me now that you’re giving up? We just—we literally just—” Tang He was both flustered and frustrated. “Are you messing with me?” He had no idea whether to be angry or panicked at the person who had just shared heartfelt confessions with him. But one thing he knew—he didn’t want to lose Du Jianyou.

“I’m sorry, Ge. I’m not messing with you… I just… I just need a little more time,” Du Jianyou said softly, cautiously trying to soothe him.

Tang He looked at his pitiful expression, and his heart softened again. He couldn’t stay mad at him. If anything, he was angry at himself.

He had always been aware of his own advantages—usually prideful and rarely the one giving more in a relationship, emotionally or physically. But this time… this time was different. This was the first time he had sincerely opened up and fallen for someone. And now? Just hours after his heart had burst open, that someone was pulling away?

He felt suffocated.

He kept replaying the night in his head—had he done something wrong? Said something inappropriate? What had made someone who had just confessed his love now suddenly withdraw?

Swallowing with difficulty, he tried to appeal with sincerity: “But I… I can’t take it back. I can’t control myself anymore. I… I’m serious about you.” The usually confident and dominant Tang He lowered his pride and pleaded for a second chance.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know you’d be so upset. Do you want… do you want me to use my hand?” Du Jianyou whispered, apologetically, his voice getting quieter the more he spoke.

“You want to… use your hand…?” Tang He’s deep voice suddenly shot up eight octaves. “Use it for what?” His voice cracked.

“You said you couldn’t hold it in anymore, right? I-I could… use my hand to help you. You know, to take care of your needs…” Du Jianyou’s cheeks flushed bright red as he spoke in a small voice, glancing shyly at Tang He’s lower half.

“Wait a second—that’s what you meant earlier when you said you weren’t ready?” Tang He stood up, pointing at Du Jianyou curled on the sofa, his voice still cracking and overly high.

“Yes!” Du Jianyou nodded, still bashful. “I don’t have anything prepared… and I didn’t think we’d move so fast…” He looked confusedly at Tang He’s trembling form and pale face, then curiously asked, “Wait, what did you think I meant?”

Du Jianyou’s eyes twirled around, trying to replay their earlier conversation, and slowly came to a realization. A mischievous smile tugged at his lips. “Oh, you thought I meant…”

Tang He was now literally shaking with embarrassment and rage. He didn’t wait for Du Jianyou to finish—he spun on his heel, stormed back into the bedroom, and slammed the door with a loud bang.

“Unbelievable. I was just out there pleading with him not to give up on us, even said cringey crap like ‘I’m serious about you’—ugh, I want to puke just remembering it,” Tang He cursed Du Jianyou to the heavens in his mind. The more he thought about it, the more mortified he felt. He threw himself onto the bed and turned his back to the door. I’m not showing my face again tonight. I have absolutely no dignity left.

Quietly, Du Jianyou cracked open the bedroom door and peeked in. He didn’t dare come in right away. Testing the waters, he softly called, “Ge?” His voice was brimming with barely suppressed laughter.

“Hurry up and get in here before I have to carry you in on a damn eight-man sedan chair!” Tang He snapped.

“No need, no need!” Du Jianyou quickly closed the door behind him and hopped over in three quick steps, jumping into bed. Once under the covers, he pressed his icy feet against Tang He’s calves and began to lightly rub them.

His hands weren’t idle either—they reached around Tang He’s waist in a back hug, tugging and coaxing him to turn around. All the while, he kept whispering softly, “Sorry… sorry…”

“…Sorry…” he kept murmuring again and again, clinging to Tang He like a stubborn child, until Tang He finally gave in and turned around to face him.

Du Jianyou was still smiling, but the moment their eyes met and he saw the serious look in Tang He’s gaze, his smile faded a little, replaced by a nervous flicker. His big, round eyes shimmered with unease. Tang He saw how his stern face had startled him and let out a sigh. He reached out, pulling Du Jianyou into his arms and said softly:

“You really scared me just now. Don’t do that again. Whatever it is, let’s just talk it out properly, face to face. Don’t run off and let your thoughts spiral.”

Buried in his embrace, Du Jianyou knew he was in the wrong and didn’t dare say a word. He just quietly nodded his head in agreement.

“As for what you were worried about earlier,” Tang He continued gently, “don’t worry. I’m not a beast. That kind of thing should always be mutual. If you’re not ready, I won’t force you. I mean it.”

He felt Du Jianyou hug him tighter, and so he added teasingly, “But don’t make me wait too long, okay?” The man in his arms nodded again without hesitation.

“Alright, can we finally get some sleep now? It’s been a long day, and I’m really tired.” Tang He truly hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep for quite a while, especially with this troublemaker keeping his heart on edge. Now that the person he cared about was in his arms—even if they didn’t get to do anything—he was finally feeling at peace, and sleep was calling.

But unfortunately, this supposedly “not-ready” Du Jianyou had a whole repertoire of seductive tricks. When Tang He mentioned sleeping, he immediately asked for a goodnight kiss, which turned into a kiss that could’ve lasted forever. Then he started squirming in his arms, rubbing up against him, wandering hands and all—completely restless.

Tang He couldn’t help wondering if this was his way of hinting that he was ready now. But when Du Jianyou felt Tang He harden against him, he panicked and froze completely. Tang He, annoyed and exasperated, gave him a firm smack on the butt.

“Stop moving. Move again and I will eat you alive.”

Only then did Du Jianyou finally settle down, and the two of them were able to fall asleep peacefully.

(To be continued…)