BIAC CH 26

Chapter 26: Tang He, How Could You Be So Selfish?

Tang He stared at Du Jianyou’s pale profile. He finally understood that day when Du Jianyou had come to the company looking upset, with that sorrowful, gloomy gaze. He now understood the look on his face back at his house—when he’d hugged his knees and tearfully said, “I’m not ready yet.” And more than anything, he now remembered how stiff and awkward Du Jianyou’s body always became whenever they were intimate.

This fool… just how much had he endured all by himself?

As a man, Tang He could imagine that kind of humiliation, how deeply the wound must have festered in his heart. To be accused of something he didn’t even do—to have filth smeared across his face with no warning—how disgusting that must have felt.

Wipe it off? Even dirtier.

His heart ached. It ached so much. This man—his man—had suffered such defilement, and he hadn’t known a single thing. And even worse, he himself had almost become one of those who had hurt him. Every time they embraced… how much effort did it take for Du Jianyou to not feel disgusted? To not push him away?

In his eyes, was I, Tang He, no different from those bastards?

No. I’m not. I never was. I never lusted after him for his body alone. Ours was mutual. We were drawn to each other. I never treated this as a fling. I was serious…

Then another voice echoed in his mind: Serious? Serious for how long? Half a year? A year? Five years? Ten? In the end, wouldn’t Tang He still walk away, get married, and have children?

At the beginning, he thought being upfront was for the best—that it would save them both from carrying the weight of the future. But only now did he realize that so-called honesty was just a sugar-coated excuse for selfishness. He had strutted in like some self-important lord, declaring, “I’m interested in you right now, but I’m not going to be responsible for you. If you agree, then let’s enjoy each other while it lasts.” And foolish Du Jianyou had actually accepted that so-called kindness with reverence, smiling brightly as he threw away his dignity to play along, even saying something like “Let’s just walk together for a while.”

Now Tang He understood—The one who merely strolled along and treated it like a fleeting game was him, Tang He. But the one left wrecked and shattered beyond repair was Du Jianyou.

Tang He, how could you be so selfish?

Zhao Tiancheng had said Du Jianyou was cautious with love? That he was a perfectionist when it came to emotions? Then how could he have accepted this absurd arrangement of “just walking together for a while”? How could he have tolerated someone as filthy as me?

I, Tang He, have always drifted through fields of flowers without a single petal clinging to me. On the surface, I seemed untouched, but I never realized how many blossoms I trampled… how much filth I left in my wake. Meanwhile, Du Jianyou—who kept himself clean—couldn’t withstand the cruelty of public judgment.

In this world… who’s really dirtying whom?

Tang He held his head in despair. He didn’t know how to face Du Jianyou anymore—didn’t even know how to face himself. He felt like he could barely breathe.

Why is falling in love this difficult?

When he accidentally brushed against the oversized bottle of lube still tucked in his coat pocket, he just wanted to slap himself. What the hell had he been daydreaming about these past two weeks? What kind of conversation had he even been having with Lin Yan earlier this afternoon?

How was he any different from those disgusting men?

Claiming he had no ulterior motives? Please—even a three-year-old wouldn’t buy that. …Then again, a three-year-old shouldn’t even know about this kind of thing.

He forced himself to stop thinking about the chaos in his head. He dialed Su An’s number, directly reporting everything that had happened tonight and instructing her to handle the matter with Wang Guoqing.

First: any and all business dealings between Wang Guoqing and Guangsheng Group—or any of its affiliated partners—were to be immediately terminated. Second: investigate the origin of the rumors and dismantle each one from the source. Third: contact Zhao Tiancheng to identify the three other men in the photo. Anyone capable of using such despicable means—should be made to suffer just the same.

He specifically told Su An: Don’t break the law, but don’t hold back either. I want them out of this city’s business circle.

After the call, Du Jianyou still hadn’t woken up. Thinking of what Zhao Tiancheng said—how Du Jianyou hadn’t eaten all day—Tang He wanted to go buy something for him to eat. But he hesitated, worried that Jianyou might wake up alone while he was gone.

Just as he was caught in that dilemma, Lin Yan approached, walking toward him with a police officer.

“Lao Tang, how’s the patient doing?” Lin Yan had rushed over as soon as he got the call from Guan Dongbao. At the ER, he bumped into Officer Ji Ran—who had come looking for Tang He and Du Jianyou—so they came over together.

He glanced at Tang He’s ashen expression, then at the pale man lying in the hospital bed, quickly putting two and two together.

So this must be Tang He’s guy. Never thought our first meeting would be under circumstances like this.

“He’s okay. Doubao said it’s just low blood sugar,” Tang He replied stiffly. “His people said he hadn’t eaten all day. Plus he went through a shock tonight, that’s probably why he passed out.”

The whole situation felt awkward—especially since he and Lin Yan had just shared such a “deep” conversation earlier that afternoon.

“Hello, I’m Ji Ran, the officer assigned to this case,” the policeman said, taking the initiative to introduce himself. “Both parties involved are currently unconscious, so…”

“Thank you, Officer Ji. The police were called to deal with Wang Guoqing, who was causing trouble at Dream Advertising. Now that he’s no longer there, there’s no need to trouble you further with this case,” Tang He replied politely.

“But his face is all swollen and bruised. I can’t just pretend I didn’t see that,” Ji Ran said, a bit troubled.

“If Wang Guoqing chooses to press charges after he wakes up, I’ll handle it privately. You have my word, Officer Ji,” Tang He said with calm assurance.

Of course, he would “settle it” with Wang Guoqing—properly and thoroughly.

In truth, Officer Ji had already questioned several witnesses earlier, and their statements had all aligned. The drunk man came barging in, created a ruckus on someone else’s turf, and now he’d gotten beaten up for it. It was hard to argue that he didn’t have it coming.

As for who did the hitting? At first, no one would admit it. But after some gentle probing from the police, it became clear just how well-liked Du Jianyou really was. One by one, people stepped up—eager to take the blame for him. Everyone wanted to say they were the one who punched Wang Guoqing.

Officer Ji Ran discreetly examined everyone’s hands. Among all of them, the only person with bruised and scraped knuckles… was the very man standing in front of him—President Tang.

It was undoubtedly him. No mistake about it.

But honestly, this was just another minor disturbance caused by a drunk. If both parties agreed to settle, he really didn’t want to get bogged down in such trivial matters.

“All right then,” Officer Ji finally relented. “If you need any further assistance from the police, feel free to contact me.” He handed over his contact information as he spoke.

Tang He nodded and accepted Officer Ji’s business card.

“Lao Tang, you probably haven’t eaten dinner yet, right? We were just about to grab something ourselves. Want me to bring back a bento for you two?” Lin Yan offered kindly.

We?

Tang He glanced between Lin Yan and Officer Ji. At first, he had assumed that Lin Yan had simply run into Officer Ji at the hospital and brought him over as a favor to help clarify the case.

But now… that didn’t seem to be the case. These two clearly knew each other already.

Tang He’s gaze flicked back and forth between them. Officer Ji’s ears turned red. He coughed awkwardly. Lin Yan, realizing he’d accidentally let something slip, also flushed pink.

Tang He chuckled lightly. He recalled Lin Yan once mentioning that his partner was a police officer. Now everything made sense.

“No need, thank you. Someone’s already bringing us food,” Tang He replied, spotting Zhao Tiancheng walking over with two boxes in hand.

“Perfect timing!” Zhao Tiancheng said cheerily. “I heard this is the best wonton chicken soup near the hospital. Hurry and eat it while it’s hot, President Tang, or the noodles will turn soggy.”

“Enjoy your meal then,” Lin Yan said. “I’ll be heading out—with Officer Ji.”

He purposely avoided using the word we, not wanting to cross any unspoken lines. But Officer Ji immediately sensed the distance in Lin Yan’s phrasing, and his heart sank a little. His face stiffened. Without another word, he nodded politely to Tang He, then turned and left.

Lin Yan watched him walk away without hesitation and panicked.

Did I make him mad again?

 He quickly excused himself and chased after him.

Tang He nodded and walked them a few steps out, then returned to the bedside—only to catch Zhao Tiancheng gazing quietly at Du Jianyou, something flickering in his eyes.

As Tang He returned, Zhao Tiancheng quickly wiped at his eyes and said softly, “I’ll leave Xiao Du to you now. Take good care of him.” Without waiting for a reply, he turned and walked away—fast, almost like he was fleeing.

Tang He furrowed his brow. What’s with him rushing off like that?

***

Meanwhile, chaos was just winding down at Dream Advertising.

The troublemaker had been taken to the hospital. The one who had been harassed… was also in the hospital. Everyone who witnessed the event had been questioned one by one. And those who hadn’t been present… were now being sought out to be questioned, too.

It had taken a great deal of effort to clean up the mess left behind. Now, one by one, exhausted employees were finally dragging themselves home—sighing in defeat.

They didn’t realize—There was still someone hiding in Du Jianyou’s office.

Yan Qiao had witnessed the whole commotion earlier and instantly sensed that the relationship between Tang He and Du Jianyou was anything but simple.

Fueled by anger and jealousy, she seized the moment when everyone’s attention was elsewhere, slipped into Du Jianyou’s office, and quietly waited inside. Once she was sure everyone had left, she finally stood up.

She looked around, then began searching through his office. To her surprise, Du Jianyou’s computer was still on. She immediately began digging through its contents.

But after browsing for a while, she was disappointed to find nothing but work documents.

Just as she was about to give up, she spotted a folder labeled “Phone Backup Data.” She clicked into it with a might-as-well-try attitude—and was greeted with a bunch of random, mundane photos. She scrolled through them quickly, one by one… until suddenly—her eyes lit up.

A photo.

Tang He, fast asleep. Du Jianyou, leaning beside him, snapping a selfie.

It was that photo—the one Du Jianyou had secretly taken the night they first met in the hotel.

Jealousy ignited in Yan Qiao like wildfire. Without hesitation, she forwarded the image to her own phone. This photo could be useful. Very useful. But just how… she’d have to plan carefully.

She thought of one person: Wang Guoqing.

***

At the hospital, Tang He had just finished his bowl of wonton soup. Du Jianyou was still lying motionless in bed.

Tang He stared at him and sighed.

“You’re awake, right? If you’re awake, sit up and eat something. Zhao Tiancheng said this is the best chicken wonton soup near the hospital. If it gets cold, it won’t taste good anymore.”

Du Jianyou realized his act had been seen through. He blinked, reluctantly opening his eyes. He saw Tang He setting up the hospital tray in front of him with a neutral expression, betraying no clear emotion.

Du Jianyou didn’t know how to face him. His mind was a mess. That photo—the one he didn’t know where it came from, or when it was taken—filled him with fury.

What the hell happened that night? How could he have no memory at all?

But more than that anger, what overwhelmed him now… was fear. A kind of fear that left him utterly defenseless.

Because this photo had been seen by the person he cared about most. Because it had exposed the ugliest, most humiliating side of himself.

And for someone like him, who demanded perfection from everything—including himself—it was maddening.

He wanted to kill Wang Guoqing. And everyone else in that damn photo.

His heart was on the verge of exploding. But his face remained calm.

He picked up the spoon and began sipping the soup blankly, staring into the bowl the entire time. Meanwhile, Tang He stared right at him. And so they sat—Du Jianyou gazing at the soup, Tang He gazing at him—until the bowl was empty.

Tang He quietly cleared the table, then went to call Guan Dongbao over to check on Du Jianyou.

After a quick examination, Guan Dongbao confirmed that his blood sugar levels had returned to normal, and that there were no other obvious symptoms. He determined Du Jianyou could be discharged.

Guan Dongbao had initially planned to tease Tang He a bit, but one look at the stormy faces of the two men and he immediately swallowed his words. Even someone as dense as him knew to shut his mouth and back off when the tension was this thick.

Tang He noticed the rare seriousness in his usually sarcastic friend and gave him a grateful nod before heading off to complete the discharge paperwork.

Out of concern that Du Jianyou might still feel dizzy, Guan Dongbao even fetched a wheelchair himself and helped Tang He wheel him to the parking lot.

The entire ride home—Not a single word was spoken between them.

Tang He parked the car and, like a gentleman, got out to open the door for Du Jianyou. He stood silently by the car, hesitating—should he reach out and help him down? But he was afraid… afraid that Du Jianyou wouldn’t be able to accept being touched right now.

Seeing Tang He standing there with his hands by his sides, clearly avoiding contact, Du Jianyou’s heart clenched.

He’s disgusted with me, isn’t he?
I don’t blame him. I feel filthy too.

Clenching his jaw to keep from falling apart in front of Tang He, Du Jianyou shakily stepped out on his own. His cold hands wrapped around himself, and with his head bowed, he silently walked toward the elevator.

Tang He noticed how badly he was trembling, but since Du Jianyou was determined not to be helped, all he could do was follow behind helplessly. The two returned to the apartment in total silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

Once they got home, Tang He awkwardly lingered at the entrance. He didn’t know if he should stay.

If I stay, he thought, will Du Jianyou feel uncomfortable? Maybe he sees me the same as those monsters who hurt him…

But if I leave, he worried, can I really be sure he’ll be okay alone? He’s been eerily quiet since waking up—not a word, not even a reaction. I don’t know what’s going on inside him. Leaving him like this feels wrong.

Suddenly, a voice called out softly from the couch, eyes still closed:

“Are you leaving?”

Tang He cautiously asked, “Do you… want me to stay?”

“…Is that okay?” Du Jianyou hesitated a long time before finally voicing his true desire. Right now, he didn’t want to see anyone—especially not Tang He. But even more than that, he didn’t want to be alone.

So, carefully, he sought permission from the person he loved.

Tang He let out a breath of relief. He was glad—glad that even in this moment, Du Jianyou still needed him.

He walked around the couch and sat down, deliberately keeping some distance so he wouldn’t intrude.

Du Jianyou noticed the space Tang He left between them. The sour sting in his nose intensified.

He doesn’t want to be near me anymore, does he?

Despite knowing he could explain nothing, despite knowing he might only dig himself deeper, he still wanted to speak.

After all, this man had gone out of his way—had gotten into a fight—for him. He owed him something, even if it was only a half-broken truth.

“I’m sorry… about the photo,” Du Jianyou said, leaning his head back against the couch, eyes shut once again.

“I don’t know why that photo exists. I don’t know what happened that night. But I’ll find out. They’re disgusting… but I didn’t—I didn’t sell myself. I didn’t go along with them…”

His voice trembled despite its firmness. He was holding back so much: anger, fear, humiliation.

“I don’t know what else I can say. I can only say I’m sorry. If you can’t accept me anymore… I understand.”

Du Jianyou raised his arm and pressed it over his eyes, trying to force the tears back into place. His voice was weak, full of self-loathing, trying desperately to sound strong, yet helplessly sorrowful.

Tang He stood up. The sound of his steps echoed softly.

He’s leaving, Du Jianyou thought bitterly. Of course he is.

But then—he felt a weight beside him.

Someone sat down. Then, arms wrapped around him tightly, gently.

A hand patted his back, comforting. He breathed in Tang He’s faint scent of mint—it was so familiar, so soothing.

And then he heard Tang He whisper by his ear, “It’s okay. It’s okay. You’ll feel better if you cry it out…”

And Du Jianyou broke.

From trembling sobs to muffled whimpers, he finally gave in completely. He cried loud, broken sobs that shook his whole body.

Because he really was just—so angry. So, so angry.

(To be continued…)