BR 3.10

The carriage finally stopped as the sun began to set. Though the day had been bright when they departed, the journey felt short to Erons despite the length of time spent traveling. 

Like Rune, he too had been reluctant to part. 

As the carriage door opened, Pelson, who had come to meet him, extended his hand.

“Pelson?”
“I’ve been waiting. Did you have a good trip to the palace?”
“Yes. But what brings you here, Pelson?”
“I came to escort you, Young Master, by the Lord’s orders.”
“Ah… I see.”

Was that too obvious a question? Well, Pelson wouldn’t have come just to greet him.

Though he took Pelson’s hand and stepped down from the carriage, Erons hesitated to enter the mansion. Even though it was only yesterday that Nike had shown remorse and shed tears, so it shouldn’t be a big deal, Erons still didn’t want to see him.

“If I don’t go… it’s not allowed, is it?”
“… I’m sorry.”
“Hmph… I see.”

Habit was a terrifying thing. Even as his mouth said no, his heavy feet carried him ahead of Pelson. How often had he walked this path to make it feel so natural?

“You’re late.”

Facing Nike, who had been waiting for him, Erons flinched and took a step back. 

He looked terrible. 

Had he stayed up all night? The dark circles under his eyes were deep, his eyes bloodshot, and his haggard appearance was both pitiful and somehow chilling.

“… I’m sorry.”
“I clearly told you not to be late, yet you didn’t come in until a day later.”
“I tried to come yesterday! But I couldn’t dare refuse His Majesty’s command,”
“Is some Emperor more important than me?”
“Yes…?”

“A man who would have had nothing to do with you if not for me. A man you might never have seen until death – his words are more important than mine?”

One step, two steps. 

He approached.

Erons instinctively took a step back. He felt terror toward the one approaching, glaring at him hawkishly. 

If only he could slip out the door like this, but unfortunately, his back was pressed against a dead-end wall. 

Before he knew it, Nike was close enough to feel his breath. He didn’t grab Erons. He merely stood directly before him. 

Yet, fearing future consequences, Erons couldn’t flee despite the many openings.

Nike lowered his head, burying his face in Erons’s nape. 

Remembering past mistakes, he stopped just out of Erons’s reach, pressing his forehead against the wall. 

Instead of relief, Erons shuddered briefly. His breath was so close that it was transmitted directly to his ear, making it feel even stranger than direct contact.

“I was scared.”
“Why?”
“That you might not come back.”
“Your Grace knows better than anyone that I would return.”

“… I missed you. I wanted to touch you. I wanted to hold you. Even though it was just one night, it hurt so much that you weren’t beside me. Even though you’re right here in front of me, I can’t touch you, so I’ll just tremble like this. How ridiculous.”

He chuckled softly. The sound was weak, like a breath escaping, revealing how pathetic he found himself.

“Please stay here. Don’t leave me…”

His hand, desperately reaching out to touch, couldn’t quite reach Erons and instead circled around him. 

The hand movements, repeatedly rising up to his waist as if about to embrace him and then falling back down, were truly pitiful.

‘… This isn’t who you are, is it? Your Grace is such a strong person. Why have you become so weak?’

A person who seemed utterly unbreakable had become like this after just a little over a day apart. How weak humans truly were.

“Just let me hold you once.”
“…”
“I don’t mean to hurt you. I just want to hold you.”
“… Then please call my name.”
“Name?”
“Yes. My name.”

Please, not that person’s name, but mine. Not the fake name you gave me, but my real name.

It was desperate.

If he could just call it out now, properly, then maybe I could forgive him for everything he’d done to me.

That’s how desperate he was. Just once more, like when he woke him from his sleep in the carriage.

“Riman.”
“…”
“Riman de–”
“Stop. Don’t call me.”

The outcome he’d clearly anticipated tore at his heart. 

Nike whispered Riman’s name again. 

Sweetly, sickeningly sweet.

“I’m sorry.”
“Why…?”
“I don’t think I can. Please don’t touch me…”

Tap.

A teardrop narrowly missed his toes and fell. 

Erons cried, and Nike didn’t know what to do. He wanted to wipe it away, but touching him would make him dislike it, and yet he didn’t want to just stand there either. 

But Erons pushed Nike away and dashed outside. 

Ignoring him, who called out to him desperately yet couldn’t bring himself to follow.

Erons sank down the stairs and collapsed right there. Crouching, he soothed his gloomy heart.

“I’m not that person… I’m someone else…”

Was saying his name really that difficult? Or had he completely erased that name from his mind? Must the existence of ‘Erons’ truly vanish?

“Should I run away. Secretly?”

He didn’t want to be Riman’s substitute forever. If he said he wanted to live somewhere else, Nike would never allow it. He might even buy new land, build a new mansion, and insist on living there with him. 

With nowhere else to turn for help, he had to find a way to leave secretly.

“Ah. No. Last time, His Majesty said, ‘If living with that fellow is uncomfortable, send me a letter anytime. I will help you somehow.’”

Thinking about it now, the Emperor spoke as if he already knew Erons was living like this. His tone was confident, certain Erons would ask for help.

“Right. Let’s send a letter first. His Majesty said it was okay to send one, so he’ll receive it. But I don’t know how to send it… Should I just try?”

Erons decided to trust Lelis. He believed Lelis would help him, even knowing his true intentions. She had shed tears for him and always said she was on his side. Even if she was one of Nike’s people, wouldn’t she turn a blind eye just once, if he begged desperately?

The mansion had a private office for Lelis. When Erons was away or there was no urgent business, she handled affairs there. As the most senior maid, she seemed to handle the Duchess’s duties.

Erons hurried, though he didn’t know exactly where her office was, having only vaguely heard it was on the first floor. In his haste, he hadn’t even written the letter beforehand and just rushed down the stairs. 

After all, finding out if Lelis could help him was the priority.

But then, a maid suddenly darted out and blocked his path.

“Huh! S-startled me!”

That maid was someone Erons knew very well.

“… Jowen?”
“Hello?”

Jowen, she stood in Erons’s way. She greeted him casually with a bright smile, but Erons couldn’t easily return her greeting. Just meeting her eyes made his shoulders slump. 

His mouth was smiling, but his eyes weren’t.

“Where are you rushing off to like that?”
“I, I just…”
“I bet you’re looking for my sister again. But what can you do, she’s out right now. If it’s urgent, should I pass on a message for you?“
”No, it’s fine. I want to tell her myself.“
”Ah.“

The corners of Jowen’s mouth, which had been turned up in a smile, dropped surprisingly quickly. Jowen’s brightly smiling face turned cold in an instant.

”When someone shows you kindness, shouldn’t you know how to accept it?“
”… Are you serious? That favor.“
”Surely not.”

Step by step. Jowen approached as she climbed the stairs. Erons, instinctively backing away, stumbled trying to avoid her and fell. As he landed on his backside and sat down, Jowen finally stopped abruptly in front of him.

“Nothing’s gone right since you showed up.”
“What do you mean?”
“Everything was perfect. You ruined it all.”

Scared, terrified – those words weren’t enough. He felt a threat to his life from Jowen, whose eyes were bloodshot and glaring. If only it would end with just a threat.

“You killed Benoit too. Impressive. You were the one who summoned the second young Master and the Knight Commander back then, weren’t you? I wondered how they could arrive with such perfect timing. He wouldn’t have appeared like a hero to save you without being tipped off beforehand. Right?”

“So what? Am I not allowed to ask for help?”
“Surprisingly brazen? How many people died because of you? Don’t you feel even a shred of guilt?“
”… Guilt?“
“Yes, guilt.“

Guilt. Anyone else might be fine, but Jowen was the last person who should lecture Erons about guilt. 

At least not Jowen.

”What exactly did I do wrong? I’m the victim here.” Erons’s gaze shifted. As he vomited up the stale emotions welling up inside him, he was no longer the pathetic Erons who couldn’t even respond to Jowen. “Do you know the phrase ‘what goes around comes around’? Benoit paid the price he deserved for the wrongs he committed against me, and the same goes for you, Jowen.”

“Ha. You sure can talk now that you’ve got your mouth open. We’re the victims. Do you even know how many have died, including those you don’t know? Ever since you arrived, knights have died every single day, without fail. Sure, they were all low-ranking, so they died easily. But it wasn’t just them. Maids died, servants died. Not long ago, someone who was here just vanished, and it turned out they were dead. What the hell is going on behind the scenes that people keep dying? Are you planning to kill everyone here? So, do you harbor ambitions to take over this place?”

Jowen’s rapid-fire words threw Erons into confusion. He knew about Randy’s death through Jowen and the knights. But he hadn’t heard about the other servants. Erons had assumed they were just taking vacations or getting fired since servants changed so often, but that wasn’t the case. They were all dead. 

Like Randy.  

Because of him.

“And the reason my sister and I fell out, the reason my Lord went mad, the reason this mansion itself became a target of the Imperial Palace… This place is no longer fit for humans. It’s like walking on thin ice that could shatter at any moment.”

While it was true that the events Jowen described had occurred after Erons entered the mansion, not everything Jowen said was accurate. 

Strictly speaking, Erons wasn’t the cause. The real cause was the malicious intent of those trying to pin the blame on him.

“Don’t try to blame everything on me. I know you hated me from the moment you first saw me. You hated me even then, when I hadn’t done anything. You carried that feeling all the way here, ugh –!”

Jowen grabbed Erons by the collar and pulled him to his feet. She gestured sharply toward one spot. Shifting his gaze, he saw the hired hands watching from afar, merely observing.

“See? If I were to kill you, no one would help. Because with you involved, they don’t know when they’ll be called in or how they’ll die.”

They merely exchanged glances, none stepping forward to aid Erons.

“So you’re not lying…?”
“Ask your powerful backer yourself.”

Jowen smirked. It was a wicked smile dripping with foreboding. Seeing her, Erons felt a chill run down his spine and soon let out a second groan.

“Ah. I guess you can’t ask now, can you?”

A strange pain flared in the spot slightly off-center to the left of his chest. 

Gah…! 

The pain intensified as he drew a deep breath. Looking down, he saw a sharp piece of metal deeply embedded in his own chest.

As the part beyond his grasp sank entirely beneath the flesh, Jowen grinned. When the metal was finally pulled out, a torrent of blood gushed from the torn flesh. 

Even as the blood poured directly onto her, Jowen laughed like a demon possessed. The result of practicing countless times for this very moment was utterly satisfying.

“Ugh…!”

He tried to stop the bleeding, but his hands, instantly drenched in blood, couldn’t press down on the wound. Even the slightest pressure felt like it would kill him. Yet, as the crimson blood flowed freely, soaking his entire body, the pain gradually subsided. 

It was a ghostly sight. 

He could see the hole in his chest, yet it didn’t hurt.

“If only you weren’t here, everything would return to normal. Farewell, disgusting Omega.”

As Erons looked down at his wet hands and chest, Jowen grabbed him by the collar again. His body, suspended in midair, plummeted. 

Down.

Light as a sheet of paper, he floated down, his head slamming first into the landing. He toppled over and tumbled all the way down to the lobby. His fragile body collided with the staircase’s edge, scraping against it and leaving deep and shallow wounds. As he rolled to the bottom step and lay sprawled, lifeless, blood from his chest and head covered the floor.

He could only manage occasional moans, unable to move. Yet, no one approached him – not even to save Erons. 

Everyone just watched, hoping someone else would step forward instead. How could people be so vicious?

Yet, even feeling the stares fixed on him, Erons didn’t feel particularly bitter. He actually thought it was for the best. If he died like this, maybe out of pity, they’d stop cursing him. 

He felt his consciousness slowly fading. 

‘So this is how I die. My life ends here…’

“Erons!”

At that moment, someone shouted his name and rushed over. Even as his eyes closed, Erons smiled faintly with relief. 

It was the voice of someone familiar and longed for, the person he wanted to see most.

“Erons! Erons, snap out of it! What are you all doing? Why haven’t you called the doctor yet!”

Was it because death was near? Now he was seeing hallucinations. Seeing a face in his final moments meant he had cherished it deeply, didn’t it? 

The only person in this mansion who called his name, Urno.

“Brother…”
“Yes, it’s me. The doctor will be here soon, okay? Don’t close your eyes. Erons, please –!”

Despite his desire to hear just a little more, Urno’s voice faded away. It had been so long since he’d heard his own name; he wanted to hear it just one more time. It was disappointing, but then a relief.

It was the name Erons, not Riman, he’d heard before dying.