BR 4.13

Squeak. 

The old wooden door was still stiff. The last time he’d been here was before his first birthday at the mansion, so it had been over a year since he’d last visited. Half of that time had been spent in a coma, so a year hadn’t really felt like much, but still.

“This place hasn’t changed.”

The room Nike had shown him, the one he’d said Erons would like best. He, an Omega, could use magic in this very special room. He stepped inside for the first time in ages.

“Hello…?”

Erons groped through the air until he reached the glass sphere. It was merely a glass orb, neither human nor animal, but it understood his words and cast magic. It felt almost alive, so Erons greeted it first, touching the sphere. Whether it was pleased to see him or not, he could only manage the two syllables ‘Hello’, yet the orb conjured an easel and a pile of paints.

“… What is this? You’re not seriously telling me to paint?”

A brush floated into the air. After dipping into the paint, it began to draw something on the canvas.

[Yes.]

“You really want me to paint?”

The brush then flicked up and down a few times. The way it seemed to nod its head suggested Erons was right.

“Hmm, what to do. I don’t paint anymore. And I came today for a different favor.”

The brush drooped at an angle, a drop of paint plopping onto the canvas. Well, last time he came, he didn’t say a word, just painted like a madman before leaving. No wonder he’s like this. 

“Can you use magic on things outside here, not just inside?” 

[Yeah.] 

“I want to tear down the shrine.” 

Nike and Fedor beside him – no. Whoever was there would be shocked by this request. Erons, who had been the reason the shrine was built, was now asking for it to be destroyed.

The brush, too, seemed stunned. Time seemed to freeze as the brush barely moved. Hesitating, twitching slightly, the brush finally began to write on the canvas.

[You really want it gone?]

“Yeah, get rid of it. I don’t need it anymore.”

‘Neither Jen nor Theos. Even if I go there now, there’s no one beside me.’

Thud. The brush fell, splattering ink everywhere. It even splashed lightly on Erons’ shoes, but he didn’t particularly care.

Kugugugung – The shrine was collapsing right before his eyes.

“Kyaaah!”
“Ugh! Wh-what’s happening?!”

People passing by the shrine suddenly screamed as it began to shake violently and threaten to collapse.

“Those people…”

Those were the knights. On the day Lelis died, the group of knights who dragged Erons to the basement were evacuating the servants around the collapsing temple. 

Not the same knights, but still people working in the same place – was it camaraderie? Was that why they were evacuating them without letting them get hurt? Even though they’d thrown him down into that cold basement.

Erons was so stunned he couldn’t even laugh. How could people capable of such righteous acts have been so cruel that day?

“Hold on.”

At Erons’s words, the shrine’s trembling ceased, stopping the scattering of stone dust from the cracked walls. 

Erons tapped the shrine beyond the glass with his finger.

“Hey. Those knights right in front of the shrine…”

‘Let them inside the shrine. Let them die in there.’

If they collapse the shrine after letting them inside, they’ll surely be crushed by the roof. They’ll die right there on the spot. 

Since that was the order Erons gave, hoping for that outcome, even if any of them were lucky enough to survive, the orb would surely crush their windpipe. 

Erons’s tightly clenched fist trembled.

“… Let’s evacuate them. They’ll get hurt. Clear everyone from around the shrine and finish collapsing it. Smash it to smithereens.”

These were people he would have been satisfied to kill with his own hands. But Erons chose not to kill them. It might be a choice he would regret later, but at least for now, he didn’t want to. He simply didn’t want to face the death of another person, whoever it might be.

Knights near the shrine, manipulated by the orb, pushed through the evacuating crowd. Their faces looked quite flustered as their bodies moved of their own accord. Once all the knights vanished from the vicinity, the shrine collapsed immediately, as if it had been waiting.

The shrine that had stood so perfectly intact was reduced to dust. In just a few minutes. Erons, who had watched the shrine crumble from start to finish, wore an unexpectedly calm expression. This was the shrine he had once so desperately wanted. Unlike back then, Erons now felt no lingering attachment to it. Even with the shrine gone, he felt little emotion. 

In fact, he first thought that it was for the best. What had happened there that day was so horrific he wanted to erase it from his mind.

The people gathered around began whispering among themselves before rushing toward the mansion. They’d likely report to Pelson, so the news would soon reach Nike’s ears. Perhaps he’d already heard the noise from the collapse. Having achieved his goal, Erons gently stroked the bead as a sign of gratitude. Then he prepared to leave the room.

“… A letter?”

A rather thick envelope dropped onto the desk.

“What’s this letter? Is it for me?”
[Yeah.]
“Who sent it? Doesn’t seem like His Highness. Could it be my brother?”
[No.]
“Then who is it?”
[Check it yourself.]
“You can’t tell me? It might not even be for me.”
[Open it yourself.]
“Who the hell sent this anyway?”

Even though opening the envelope would reveal it immediately, the bead never revealed who the sender was until the very end. He opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. From the very first sentence, the letter bore the name of someone who couldn’t possibly be here.

Hello. My name is Riman.

“… Rimann?”

Why was his letter here? A letter from someone who left this world long ago, and one that hadn’t faded at all.

I’m the former mistress of the mansion, Nike’s wife, and another father to our twin babies. I wanted to name our children Erons and Peliaro – do they live by those names? Love and friendship, the meaning is truly beautiful, right? But Nike said we should name them after they’re born, so I haven’t given them names yet. It’s such a shame.

Just reading the words, I could imagine Riman’s voice and tone. He’d probably be smiling, rubbing his slightly protruding belly. Just like the future he longed for, the one I saw in the world of the departed.

Actually, I’m writing this letter because I have something I need to tell you, the one reading it. By the time you read this, I probably won’t be there anymore, right? I wonder if I’ll get to hold the babies even once before I go.

In the world of the dead, the Riman he’d known during his pregnancy seemed utterly happy, so he thought he wouldn’t know his fate at all. But that wasn’t true. He knew everything.

It’s kind of upsetting. I have to die right after giving birth to my babies. That’s my fate, my curse. It’s the fate and curse I was born with as a foreign-born mixed-blood.

Even as Riman wrote this letter, he knew he wouldn’t exist in this world anymore, and he knew his fate.

Pelson and Keld told me. How they used my fate to secure a hyper-dominant alpha royal family, making me the provisional Crown Princess.

“You knew all that too… “

Riman poured out his story in meticulous detail onto the page. So many trivial things were included, so much so that one wondered if he really needed to write all this. As if he wanted to avoid ending the letter. As if he wanted to run away.

I really want to see my babies…. I just want to hold them once, just once. I feel like I’ll die without doing that, it’s so –

“…”

He couldn’t read the words that followed. The ink had blurred in water, erasing the letters.

Riman was crying. He had been crying while writing this letter.

I… I don’t want to die. I want to live with Nike and the children. So I’ve been trying every possible way to escape my fate, but there’s no one who can solve this. Even the most skilled priests and mages say there’s nothing they can do about it.

Erons cried too. Knowing how much Riman loved the twins and Nike, and how deeply frustrated he must have been. Empathizing with that emotion, he followed Riman’s lead and wiped away his own tears.

So this might sound a bit irresponsible, but I want you to stay by Nike and the babies’ side for me too. Because I can’t. This letter can only be seen by the person the bead chooses. If you’ve opened your heart to Nike, or are trying to, or if Nike comes to truly love you, the bead will give you this letter.

“… Lies.”

The former was impossible. Erons was merely pretending to be Riman; he hadn’t truly opened his heart. The latter was more probable. That Nike loved Erons, not Riman.

“His Grace opened his heart to me…? Not to Riman, but to me?”

Wasn’t the bead misunderstanding something? Erons had merely faced reality and resigned himself to it, and Nike loved Erons as Riman. The fact that he always called Erons “Riman” was proof of that. That’s why the contents Riman had written felt uncomfortable to Erons.

If neither is the case… perhaps it was the bead that wanted to show you that. Because it wanted you to become Nike’s new partner.

“… new partner. Me…”

This was the most plausible explanation. That the bead wanted Erons to be Nike’s new companion. So perhaps it showed Riman’s letter hoping Erons would make up his mind. It was just the wish of some mere creature, wanting this mansion to be filled with lively days again like before.

Sorry for writing so much. Lastly, please take good care of our Nike. I know you’ll be fine even without me saying this. Nike is someone who, once he likes you, will do anything for you. If you love Nike, you’ll have a truly happy married life. That’s how it is for me now. Please take good care of our babies too. Goodbye.

As he finished reading even the last farewell from Riman, the letter caught fire. The rapidly burning letter vanished without leaving a trace. As if the letter had never existed, it disappeared in an instant, leaving Erons staring at his empty hands blankly.

“…Is this how it ends?”

What was this… It felt like being left alone on a vacant lot, utterly devastated by a fierce storm. It was empty.

“So, what do you want me to do?”

The conclusion was to take Riman’s place as his wife. To become Nike’s new partner. To…

“Love him…. “

The one person he couldn’t love, even if he wanted to with all his heart.

As the emptiness faded, suffocation took its place. Just as it had been Riman’s fate to bear a child and die, was it his fate to become Nike’s husband? This unwanted destiny tightened its grip around him, and even standing alone, he felt as if he were being strangled.

“… Do I really have to become the Duchess? Couldn’t someone else be His Grace’s partner instead of me?”

Erons’ voice trembled faintly. So did the hands covering his face. Peering through the gaps in his fingers at the bead, Erons soon had to look away in despair.

[Fate]

That was his fate. An inescapable, predetermined destiny.

“… Ha. Ha ha, that’s too much, really….”

The hands that had covered his face ruffled his hair in irritation before falling limp. Erons, who always offered at least a light thank you to the magical creature that cast spells for him, however trivial, left without a word, slamming the door behind him.

His stride, once so fast his feet were barely visible, gradually slowed. He had already resolved to accept it, even going so far as to order his subordinates to address him as Mistress. Yet, contrary to his resolve, his instincts seemed to instinctively resist it. Hearing it from another’s mouth was different. The situation, where he had to accept it even if forced, was unpleasant, stifling, and utterly disheartening.

“Yes, I had already made up my mind. This was my choice.”

Thump, thump. 

Even as he said this, his heart pounded so fiercely he could hear it in his ears. Overwhelmed by his surging emotions, tears streamed from Erons’s eyes. Not a single soul tried to comfort him as he clung desperately to the stair railing, sobbing pitifully.

“What are you doing here?”

Huddled pitifully, sniffling, someone finally appeared to comfort him.

“I told you not to cry in front of me.”
“… You’re the one who came while I was crying, and you say that to me?”

Fedor lifted Erons’s chin and carefully wiped his wet face. 

Erons knew. By the time his sobs turned into wails, Fedor had already been standing before him. 

Given what happened last time, and knowing he wasn’t someone who particularly liked comforting people when they cried, he must have agonized over what to do before finally approaching.

“Why are you crying again? Urno wouldn’t hurt you. Was it father?
“…”
“You have to speak up if you want me to do something.”
“Um, can you help me?”
“I don’t know. I’ll see what you can do for me.”
“Then I don’t want to…”
“You’re being damn stubborn. How long are you going to stay here like this? Get up.”

His touch was soft enough, but his actions were utterly cold. Even as Erons staggered to his feet, he merely watched without lifting a finger. He’d even wiped away his tears – would it hurt to hold his hand? 

When Erons, now slightly sulky, shot him a sidelong glance, he returned the look with a sharp glare.

“What?”
“… Nothing.”

“Did you cry it all out?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Who was the one crying here openly for attention?”
“I wasn’t doing it for you to hear.”
“Disappointed it wasn’t Urno?”
“… Huh?”
“Not the kid you like, but me showing up… are you disappointed?”
“H-how could you…..”

Erons couldn’t hide his bewilderment. At most, only Jen and Theos knew he liked Urno. It was something only those he’d never see again would know. Maybe Nike had picked up on it too, but that was all.

“No need to be surprised. Your heart was pounding so loudly, it could be heard all the way over here whenever that guy was in front of you. I didn’t really want to know either.”

The human body is surprisingly honest. Just having Urno nearby made his heart pound like that. Of course, it probably wasn’t beating loud enough for Fedor to actually hear it. He must have overheard it by chance, using magic.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell Father or Rune.”
“Don’t act like you’re doing me a favor by saying what’s obvious.”
“Why is that obvious? If you want to tell them, just tell them. Hey. Hey, are you ignoring me? Hey!”

Erons deliberately ignored him and descended the stairs. Was it because he’d been crying so much? Even holding onto the railing, his legs trembled violently, making his body sway dangerously. 

The thought of having to go down two more flights made him dizzy. He kept stumbling, feeling like he might tumble down. 

And anxiety always becomes reality.

“Argh!”

Though more than half the stairs remained before reaching the lower floor, Erons stumbled as he’d feared. His body, having accidentally lost its grip on the railing, began to fall downward before suddenly soaring upward. 

Literally, not downward but upward.

“Ah… “
“Haah. Be careful, for God’s sake.”

A red light flickered around his body, which seemed to be soaring as if flying. Fedor’s magic had saved him.

“Trying to die again? Rolling down there like last time?”
“It wasn’t like that. It was just a mistake.”
“Yeah, whatever. You didn’t look like someone who wanted to die.”

He really went out of his way to mock Erons while saving him like this. If he was going to grumble like that, he shouldn’t have saved him in the first place. Thanks to him, Erons wasn’t hurt, but instead of gratitude, irritation just kept bubbling up.

“Why are you glaring at me like that?”
“For someone who saved me, you sure talk a lot.”
“Stop whining.”
“I’m not whining.”
“If you’re not whining, I’ll just toss you back down.”
“… Fine, call it whining.”

“If only you’d been this well-behaved from the start.”

Like a mother dog scruffing her pup, Erons’s body floated downstairs, moving smoothly in sync with Fedor’s steps. Fedor arrived at none other than Erons’s bedroom. As Fedor set Erons down on the bed as if tossing him aside, the red light surrounding him vanished.

“If you’re gonna cry, just stay here and cry alone.”
“Yeah.”
“Why are you being so obedient? Not fighting back.”

He was such a funny guy. He always tells everyone to be quiet, but when you do exactly what he wants, he complains about you being too quiet. What rhythm is he expecting them to dance to?

“I don’t know. I just felt like it.”
“Enough. Just get yourself together before dinner. Don’t come down looking like you got beaten up somewhere.”

“Can’t you at least be nice about it?”
“It’s what I feel.”
“That hurts.”
“That’s too much. I went out of my way to calm you down and bring you here.”
“…You call that soothing?”
“Then what was it?”
“Hmm… Picking a fight?”

Fedor’s face twisted into a terrifying grimace, causing Erons to gasp sharply. His irritable response had apparently been a bit too sharp, harsher than usual. 

Swallowing nervously, Erons bit his lip hard and deliberately avoided his gaze.

“Well, well, now you won’t even look at me?”
“Wh-when did I ever?”
“Right now.”

Suddenly, a pair of jet-black shoes appeared in Erons’s field of vision. The man who had been by the door was now standing right in front of Erons. Fedor grabbed Erons’s jaw again. This time, a bit rougher than before.

“Ugh! Ow, that hurts…!”
“What’s the big deal?”
“It really hurts though…”
“Well, who told you to look away? It’s annoying.”
“No, you were just staring at me…”
“Exactly. If I didn’t stare, would you keep looking?”

Erons gave a slight nod, and the hand gripping his cheek relaxed, finally letting go. Rubbing his stinging cheek, Erons turned his head toward Fedor, hesitating. The Fedor he faced wore an expression of emotion he couldn’t quite place. Neither good nor bad.

“It’s true.”
“What is?”
“You’re not dodging me.”
“Yeah. There’s no reason to.”
“If I glare at you, will you dodge?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re playing around.”

Fedor chuckled and roughly tousled Erons’s hair. He did it so hard that the hair stood on end like it was charged with static.

“Stop! Stop it!”
“No.”
“Lord Fedor!”
“Don’t call me Lord.”

He was about to call him “brother” out of habit, but suddenly remembered the words Erons had casually thrown out like a death sentence not long ago.

“So, we can’t be brothers, not now, not ever.”

Even if Erons wasn’t officially disowned, he still refused to be his brother. He refused to be family. How could he continue forcing someone like that to be brothers? Would he even agree if he asked?

“… That’s it. Rest.”

No one came looking for Erons after Fedor left. There was only one person, but it was just a maid who came to report that dinner was ready. Instead of answering that he was coming down, Erons ordered her to fetch Nike, who was in the dining hall. Perhaps because he mentioned Nike, the maid, though her face was full of discontent, obediently followed his orders.

“I heard you called for me.”
“Yes. You came quickly.”
“How could I not hurry when you called?”
“So that’s why you came so fast? Just because I called?”
“Just? Of course I should come when you seek me. Child, why did you seek me? We’d see each other at the banquet anyway.”

He was right. The maid had come for the dinner too. 

Erons approached Nike, who was hesitating about how to touch him, and burrowed into his arms first.

“Nike.”

“… What? You’re…”
“Nike. I’m sorry I’m so late.”
“Riman…?”

No. To be precise, it wasn’t Riman. It was just Erons pretending to be Riman.

“Yeah, Nike.”
“Riman… Riman, really…”

Seeing the same face as that of the old Riman, hearing the same tone of voice, Nike was so confused that he almost lost his mind. The child who hated the name Riman and even got angry at him, was now claiming to be Riman, clinging to him and caressing his cheek.

“Didn’t you miss me?”
“I… “
“I missed you.”
“…”
“Nike, I love you.”

Erons’s lips, raised on tiptoe, lightly brushed his lower lip. When they parted, Erons’s face bloomed radiantly. Like spring. It was a beautiful smile, like that lovely, warm spring when he married Riman.

Plop. A droplet fell onto his eye. Erons blinked hard, then opened his eyes. 

He was crying.
Nike was crying. 

His tears hit the skin beneath his eyes and splashed, slowly wetting Erons’s face too.

Riman, Riman… 

How could he refuse this person who looked like his beloved from that happy day? Nike murmured Riman’s name, hugging Erons and sobbing.

“Why are you crying like that?”
“Because it feels like a dream. I can’t believe it.”
“Are you glad I’m back?”
“Yes. I’m so happy I could go crazy. But I’m so happy I can’t believe it’s real, Riman.”

Erons wriggled free from his embrace with great effort. Whenever he tried to pull away even slightly, Nike would hold him tighter, making it no easy task to escape.

Facing him again, Nike’s confusion was palpable. He felt like he could go mad with joy that his mate had returned, yet he also knew it made no sense for the dead to come back like this. He didn’t want to admit it, but he vaguely understood this wasn’t the real Riman. It felt like two conflicting emotions were colliding in his mind.

“Me too.”

Erons’s hand brushed across Nike’s eyes and cheeks. Both hands grew wet with his tears, and soon Erons’s own eyes began to well up. 

This time, it wasn’t Nike’s tears falling, but tears welling up from his own tear ducts, soaking his face.

“Me too…, ugh, Nike. I feel the same way…”
“… Don’t cry.”

Still unable to control his own tears, Nike tried to comfort the sobbing Erons. Wiping away his tears, holding him, patting his back. It was a slightly ridiculous scene of them comforting each other. Nike, who had been wiping away tears, gazed intently at Erons’ face, still sniffling.

“Why are you looking at me like that? It’s embarrassing…”
“Because you’re beautiful.”

Peck, peck. 

Lips touched his cheek and pulled away, repeating endlessly. Though they were bare lips, it felt like the kiss would leave a red mark.

“S-stop now.”
“Is it tickling?”
“Yeah. It tickles.”
“Should I stop then?”
“Nike, do you want to keep going?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh…”

Nike’s hand lightly brushed Erons’ waist.

“I want to hold you. I want everything about you.”

“Right now… are you going to…?”

“No. I won’t if you don’t want it. I don’t want to make you suffer more. Just thinking about that time makes me feel like I’ll go mad.”

Saying he didn’t want to make Riman suffer was contradictory. Nike had never troubled Riman. He only troubled Erons, not Riman. The fact that he still remembered tormenting Erons while seeing him as Riman meant he was still overlapping Riman and Erons in his mind.

Riman had finally decided to become Riman, and he hated that Nike was acting like this while remembering their past. He just wanted Nike to act according to his own resolve.

“Nike. Tell me you love me.”
“I love you.”
“Say my name too.”
“… I love you.”

Even as Nike confessed his love with a brief, tender kiss, the being known as Erons was slowly dying.

“I love you, Riman.”