Chapter 3 Part 3

“Do you believe in God?”

“What?”

“Why do you think miracles happen?”

“…..”

Suddenly, this guy was asking me a question on the level of “Do you believe in the Tao?” and a fireball was boiling inside me. Zombies were swarming outside, and I was trapped in this short period of time, repeating death countless times, so why was he bringing up God and making a fuss?

“Don’t tell me you want to say that you’re God? So you brought me here, sent me those f*cking messages on a dead phone, and you’re constantly turning back time? Well, even if you are, I guess it’s not that surprising anymore. The story I wrote exists as a world in its own right, so why couldn’t there be a God, right?”

“…..”

“What the hell is it? The reason you brought a person who killed themselves here. Are you taking revenge? F*ck… But this isn’t right. No matter how f*cked up I wrote the story… Who would have known that this kind of world would actually exist? I really… couldn’t have imagined it. Shouldn’t there be some extenuating circumstances? What did I… Ugh, what kind of grave sin did I commit, f*ck…”

The more I talked, the more emotional I became. Seeing the fictional characters I created suffering made me feel guilty and incredibly wronged. Someone had to explain to me why this was happening to me. I was trying to endure this burdensome situation without knowing the reason, but I had reached my limit.

“Why are you so worked up, Seo Ki-hyeon? Not every misfortune in the world has a reason. You know that well, don’t you?”

“What?”

“Not knowing the reason why you’re suffering, that’s what really drives you crazy. That’s what you’ve been doing to me all this time. Honestly, what kind of logic is there in a zombie virus? You just wanted to see all the successful people die. Ah. That could be a reason, I guess.”

“…..”

“But fortunately, there’s a clear reason for what happened to you.”

“What the hell is the reason you brought me to this f*cking place?”

Hyeon-ho, who had been talking as if he was about to explain the reason, suddenly put on an annoying smile and hesitated. His eyes were filled with an incomprehensible sense of anticipation, as if he were playing a joke. Seeing that, I felt a fire ignite within me. This was a world that was both too familiar and too unfamiliar to me, and it was also a terrible and cruel world. The thought that the only person who could explain why this ridiculous thing had happened was the man in front of me made me unable to control my emotions. With my rationality half evaporated, I grabbed Hyeon-ho by the collar and asked in a low voice.

“…Are you joking? Are you going to tell me or not?”

“…Actually… Every time I imagined having this conversation with you, I always worried. Whether I should tell you the whole truth or not.”

“F*ck, I need to know what the hell is going on to end this f*cking situation or not.”

“Telling the truth itself isn’t difficult. The problem is the secondary situations that will arise after I tell you. There are certain invisible rules in this world.”

“Rules? Who the hell made those rules? Are they like the rules of a game?”

“Well… something like that. If you break the rules… you get a penalty. I won’t be able to send you messages anymore, and I won’t be able to remember the conversations we had. In other words, I’ll become an ordinary human like Do Ji-hyuk or Yoo Min-ho. Do you still want to hear it?”

As he continued speaking, Hyeon-ho’s face was filled with anticipation. In the change of his bizarre expression that didn’t fit the situation, I could feel an indescribable madness. Hyeon-ho looked like a seven-year-old child who was dying to talk. I instinctively felt a sense of unease, but not hearing the truth was not an option. I had to know the reason for all of this.

“Tell me. Everything you know.”

As soon as my answer fell, Hyeon-ho smiled brightly. For a moment, a shiver ran down my spine, but I continued without stopping.

“Does becoming an ordinary human mean that you weren’t originally human? Are you really a god or something?”

“…First of all, it’s true that I brought you here. The story you wrote was so f*cked up, I had the thought that you should clean up your own mess… but that’s not all.”

“F*ck… Are you joking? There are so many zombie movies in the world, and it’s not just zombie movies, you know? There are sci-fi movies, planets falling, alien invasions! Am I the only one who wrote a f*cked up story? Are those people cleaning up their own mess, too? What do you want me to do!”

When a person gets too angry, their head becomes cold instead. Hyeon-ho was still smiling at me. I was going crazy, but the other person was smiling so happily that I couldn’t control my anger. But I tried my best to calm down and speak softly. After all, I needed Hyeon-ho’s help to get out of this situation.

“If you’re a god, can’t you just solve everything yourself? What kind of petty act is it to bring the writer here? What can I do against these zombies? If you want me to pay with my death, I’ll do that… Yeah, just kill me. It would be better to die.”

It was a life I had already thrown away once. I had no attachment to this world full of zombies, and I couldn’t remember my family, friends, or dreams. Honestly, even if I got out of this situation, I had no idea how to live my life in the future. But upon hearing my words about paying with my death, Hyeon-ho scoffed as if he had heard a very unfunny joke.

“If I could solve everything myself, I wouldn’t have brought you here, breaking the rules. Unfortunately, I’m not a god. If I had to define it… I’m like a manager who manages this place. That’s why I couldn’t directly intervene in this world you created. The most I could do was send messages and lower the shutters. If anything, you’re closer to being a god. After all, you created this world.”

“…If writing a scenario makes you a god, then, f*ck… You should stop talking nonsense.”

Hyeon-ho didn’t bother to answer my sharp words and looked at me with a smile on his lips. Taking advantage of the short silence, I could hear the voices of Do Ji-hyuk and Yoo Min-ho arguing in front of the CCTV. Yoo Min-ho wanted to run to the building entrance, avoiding the zombies, and open the shutter at the right time, but Do Ji-hyuk was against it because it was dangerous.

Yoo Min-ho’s intention to go outside and inform the police about the situation in the building wasn’t bad. However, what he overlooked was that there were more than thirty, no, more than forty zombies on the first floor alone. The chance of success was almost zero. Moreover, even if he miraculously managed to escape to the front door without getting caught, it was impossible to operate the shutter individually from the management office. To go outside, all the shutters of the building had to be opened at once.

“I’ll ask you again. Do you… believe in miracles?”

“What the hell… Why are you talking about miracles since earlier? Stop beating around the bush and speak clearly.”

“Haha… Right. The answer is, there isn’t one. There’s no such thing as a miracle in the world. People just arbitrarily think that things intervened by God are miracles.”

“…..”

“God often reveals himself. In small acts of kindness, in beautiful melodies, in natural phenomena, or in moments that people think are lucky. Miraculously surviving, miraculously succeeding… God exists even in trivial words of comfort spoken without thinking. Usually, in a very brief moment, His will is imbued. But in your case… it was a very special case.”

“…..”

“Throughout the time you were writing this f*cked up story, God’s will was imbued in you. No one knows why this happened. The important thing is that, in the end, you created a world.”

“…..”

“…But Seo Ki-hyeon. Do you know what the biggest flaw in this world is? It’s not that zombies appear, it’s not that all the main characters die. The biggest problem with this f*cked up world is that there is a clear beginning and end. The moment the main character dies and the story ends, it goes back to the beginning… Like a broken clock, it can’t move forward, and it just repeats the same time infinitely.”

He was no longer smiling.

I could hear the sound of Do Ji-hyuk and Yoo Min-ho fighting in my ears. I didn’t know how to react to Hyeon-ho’s words, so I just stared blankly at him. He called my name in a simmering voice.

“Ki-hyeon-ah.”

“…..”

“Do you know why I brought you here?”

“…..”

“It’s because I couldn’t just let you die.”

His voice, whispering like a gentle lover, sent shivers down my spine. Hyeon-ho continued to speak without stopping.

“People want to believe that there is an afterlife, but in fact, there is no such thing. Heaven and hell, reincarnation and past lives are all just the lingering attachments of humans who are obsessed with life. So when I found out that you, the one who created this world, were dying, I had to intervene, no matter what penalty I had to endure. If you die and return to nothingness, this world you created will be like this forever.”

“…There’s no hell either? Nothing?”

“Yes. Even if you commit a massacre, even if you live a noble life sacrificing yourself for others, there is no punishment or reward. That’s His will. Because life is finite, you should consider every moment a miracle and live your life to the fullest.”

“…..”

“But I broke that will and used all my power to revive you… Because I was sick of it. This story you wrote, this world that just repeats as it’s set, I was so sick of it that I wanted to see a different future. If that’s impossible… I hoped that I could forget when I returned to the beginning like an ordinary human. Well… I guess I achieved half of what I intended. From the next round, there will be a change. At least for me.”

“…..”

“Aren’t you excited? The moment it resets, my memory will disappear, just like everyone else here. Will I be able to recognize it right away? I guess it’s impossible, right? Then when will I realize it? I think I’ll know as soon as I can’t send you a message… It’s going to be so much fun.”