CI 1.18

Son Yeo-il looked across the event area with a face as pale as a sheet of paper. As the Bar Association president had said, relatively young attorneys, seemingly from small law firms near the main branch, were gathered here together. They already seemed close, continuously exchanging words and laughing.

It’s okay. I don’t recognize anyone.

After examining their faces for a long time, Son Yeo-il tried to reassure himself, but he couldn’t completely relax. When the fruit thinning work began, he diligently worked in a corner to avoid others’ gazes.

The rules of the task were simple: select only the largest fruit remaining on each branch and cut off the rest. With each branch Seo Yeo-il held, five or six small apples fell to the ground.

Those are just like me.

If those apples had been given the chance to grow, they might have become sweet and smooth fruit in their own way, but that was how the world works, so there was nothing to be sad about.

Whether people or plants, only those lucky enough to be born in the sunniest spots were selected, and the rest would fall to the ground without even a chance to show their potential.

That was why Son Yeo-il had struggled so hard. Despite being born with little, Son Yeo-il wanted to be the one apple left whole on the branch. The experiences near the end of law school might have been the result of overreaching.

How foolish.

Though his head was spinning with tension about being recognized, his hands moved even faster. While others chatted and joked in the shade, Son Yeo-il alone kept himself busy unnecessarily.

After working nonstop in the sun until nearly lunchtime, his face was flushed red. The event staff was so alarmed when they saw Son Yeo-il that they guided him to the rest area in the community center, insisting that he needed a break.

“Please lie down here. Would you like something to drink? The sponsors have provided plenty of snacks too.”

“I’m fine. I can continue working.”

“If you collapse on us, it’ll be an even bigger problem. It’s almost lunchtime, so rest until then.”

Perhaps he really wasn’t feeling well because as soon as he was semi-forcibly made to lie on the recliner installed beyond the partition, dizziness overwhelmed him. Though it wasn’t the time to be stubborn since fainting would cause even more trouble, he felt very uncomfortable about inadvertently slacking off.

What a nuisance I’m being. I need to pull myself together…

Son Yeo-il only wanted to recover quickly and get back to work. However, it seemed not all legal professionals were as diligent as him. Soon, boisterous voices began to be heard from beyond the partition. It appeared that lawyers trying to skip work were gathering.

“This is surprisingly intense. Even feels awkward to smoke.”

“Senior, you drank a lot yesterday, right? Oh, there’s Yo* here. This should help you.”

“Yo* is damn expensive. I guess this Legal Love Committee or whatever has a lot of money.”

It was the voices of the young lawyers he had seen earlier. They seemed to think no one else was in the community center, chatting carelessly while choosing drinks.

“If they’re going to sponsor anyway, they should set up a seminar in a hotel conference room or something, why rural service? Why should I be stuck in this countryside even on weekends?”

“I heard Koo & Chang held a seminar at Po*in Hotel last week. Shit, are they nobles and we’re servants? It’s so pathetic I can’t stand it. I need to open my own practice soon.”

The snickering sounds were unpleasant to hear, but Son Yeo-il had missed the timing to make his presence known. Just as he was thinking he should have left as soon as he sensed them—

“By the way, Senior. Did you see that person earlier?”

At someone’s casually thrown words, Son Yeo-il’s heart began to pound in his chest. No way. It couldn’t be. There didn’t seem to be anyone he knew.

“Who? Oh, that guy who came alone from Yongju City? Looked like a pimp.”

“I know who that person is. He graduated from Korea University Law School.”

“Huh? From Korea University Law School and working as a country lawyer in this backwater? He must have really messed up, like me.”

As the laughter spread loudly, Son Yeo-il’s fingertips became cold. It was the exact moment his frightening imagination had finally become reality.

“Ah! Is that guy from earlier possibly the one who got a confirmation from Koo & Chang and then had it canceled?”

“What? Koo & Chang confirmation canceled? That’s damn interesting. Tell me more details.”

At the question from the seemingly most senior person, the man who claimed to know Son Yeo-il began to boast.

“You know that the son of Koo & Chang’s representative is from the same class as me, right? From Korea University Law School.”

“Ah, Koo Dae-hyun? I know him well. He’s my high school junior.”

“That guy from Yongju City seduced Koo Dae-hyun to get an unfair confirmation but then was cut off.”

“Right! I heard that too. Some kind of male gold-digger, wasn’t he?”

Son Yeo-il’s rapidly beating heart finally sank with a thud. It was a sensation he wanted to forget but was familiar with—feeling like a piece of sashimi placed on a cutting board with all kinds of people dancing with knives around it.

“Male gold-digger? Shit, what? Is he some kind of homo? That’s fucked up.”

“I thought something seemed off about his appearance. Wow, I’ve never seen a gay person in my life.”

“Then is Koo & Chang’s son gay too? That is, if he was taken in by a male gold-digger.”

“I don’t think so. Koo Dae-hyun probably goes to church. Representative Koo is an elder at Shinbaram Church.”

“One hundred percent no. I know Dae-hyun a bit. Can’t you tell just by looking? The homo guy came on strong, and the rich young master got confused for a moment there.”

These were all words he had heard before. One day, just before graduation, Son Yeo-il had gone to the school bathroom and overheard several classmates talking loudly in front of the sink, gossiping about such things. His body had frozen in place, and he had remained trapped in the bathroom for a long time before coming out.

And stupidly, even now, Son Yeo-il was listening to these demeaning words, unable to move.

“But I heard that person was good at studying. Wasn’t he valedictorian or salutatorian at Korea University Law School?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Is Koo & Chang a place you get into just by studying well? It’s the elite of the elite in the legal world, collecting only those with connections and good family backgrounds. They automatically filter out anyone not from specialized high schools or the 8th district.”

“True. If he had a good family and connections, he wouldn’t have needed to act like a gold-digger to get confirmed.”

“Going from the threshold of Koo & Chang to a rural lawyer in Yongju City. Isn’t that rock bottom? That bastard must be weeping every night. Doesn’t Koo & Chang start new hires with a 200 million won signing bonus?”

That’s not true. None of it is true.

Son Yeo-il could only scream in his heart, unable to properly open his lips. Partly because his head was buzzing with embarrassment and humiliation, but also because he couldn’t say their words were completely nonsense.

<Can I sit next to you?>

It was a day about two months after entering law school. To be precise, it was the third day after his mother was diagnosed with cancer recurrence.

Wondering why these things kept happening and whether continuing law school was the right choice for him, Son Yeo-il habitually came early to the lecture hall and secured a front seat. Just as he was trying to swallow a sigh, someone approached and spoke to him.

<Your name is Yeo-il, right?>

The moment he turned and confirmed that it was Koo Dae-hyun, Son Yeo-il was secretly surprised. It was strange that he knew Son Yeo-il’s name. Son Yeo-il was like dust at Korea University Law School.

Not being a particularly sociable person, to begin with, and having to skip gatherings because his mother’s health deteriorated right after enrollment, he hadn’t even properly familiarized himself with his classmates’ faces.

Koo Dae-hyun stood in the opposite position from Son Yeo-il. Not only was he a well-known figure himself, but the people he hung out with were all children from prominent families.

The classmates envied that group, but at the same time, they criticized their seemingly arrogant atmosphere and attitude that looked down on others.

<I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while.>

Son Yeo-il was even more confused by Koo Dae-hyun’s following words. In his experience, female classmates might approach, but it was rare for male classmates to show friendliness to Son Yeo-il first. Furthermore…

Is he gay?

Unlike the misconception of the lawyers now snickering and chattering, “the eldest son of Shinbaraum Church’s elder,” Koo Dae-hyun, was gay to the bone. Even Son Yeo-il, who was dull and socially awkward about such things, could tell at a glance, thinking, “Huh? Is that person perhaps…?”

Facing the smiling face, Son Yeo-il had various thoughts. Why is he suddenly like this, is the atmosphere a bit strange, is he interested in me, am I misunderstanding, and so on.

<You ranked first in both the Civil Law General Theory and Specific Claims Theory midterms, right? And Criminal Law General Theory too?>

As everyone was burning with enthusiasm during this period, classmates were passionate about the first exams. The competition was further heated because rankings for each subject were announced, and while rumors spread about who received good grades, the identity of the top-ranked student wasn’t disclosed.

Son Yeo-il, who ranked first in 6 out of 7 subjects, didn’t actively reveal his grades. He didn’t want to stand out, and he might have to drop out soon anyway given his circumstances.

Koo Dae-hyun’s words were perplexing in many ways. While wondering how he knew, Son Yeo-il also thought that he wasn’t approaching because of interest, but had made a strange misunderstanding. Seeing Son Yeo-il’s wavering eyes, Koo Dae-hyun grinned.

<You really can’t lie, can you?>

<…>

<It’s nothing else, but I’m forming a study group with my friends these days. They’re all smart, but it’s their first time studying law, so they’re not adapting well. Me too. I think it would be much better if you could help us.>

The hidden meaning in Koo Dae-hyun’s proposal was probably “You know I can help you too, right?” Suddenly, what Son Yeo-il had heard at the hospital flashed in his mind. The new drug that might be able to treat his mother would soon be introduced domestically.

When he heard that, Son Yeo-il wasn’t just happy. Because such a drug wouldn’t be covered by insurance, and with no clear way to afford it, he was worried about what to do. He had been thinking about quitting law school to earn money immediately.

Koo & Chang confirmation signing bonus…

Despite the salary, Son Yeo-il had heard that Koo & Chang was the only major law firm that gave a signing bonus immediately upon joining. Receiving a lump sum at once would make it worth investing three more years. Perhaps that was the only way to secure money for his mother’s medicine.

The reason he hadn’t thought of this method until now was because Koo & Chang would never want someone like Son Yeo-il with his modest family background and lack of connections. But if he became friends with Koo Dae-hyun, things could change.

I can’t change my family background since that’s what I was born with, but I can create connections myself.

Son Yeo-il, who was even more naive then than now, openly showed his interest. At that moment, the professor entered the classroom, and Koo Dae-hyun lowered his voice slightly and whispered to Son Yeo-il.

<Let’s talk more later, Yeo-il-ah.>

When he raised his hand and pressed it gently on Son Yeo-il’s shoulder, as if caressing it, Son Yeo-il knew that the strange atmosphere he had felt was not part of his imagination.

Perhaps that was the most calculating moment in Son Yeo-il’s life. In his own way, he hadn’t realized that joining Koo Dae-hyun’s group in an attempt to be somewhat manipulative would become his biggest mistake.

Yes. So it’s not completely wrong, that part.

It was true that he started hanging out with Koo Dae-hyun because he wanted to go to Koo & Chang, and it was also true that without Koo Dae-hyun, Son Yeo-il would never have been accepted at Koo & Chang. If they called it an unfair hire, Son Yeo-il had nothing to say to that.

While Son Yeo-il was reflecting on the moments he regretted, their gossip continued ruthlessly.

“But given that his confirmation was canceled after being granted, did he have a falling out with Koo Dae-hyun?”

“From what I heard, that homo bastard tried to lure Koo Dae-hyun to a hotel to do something to him, so Koo Dae-hyun finally lost his patience after putting up with it for a while.”

“Wow, he’s really crazy. That’s literally a gold-digger. What? Was it a frontal assault?”

“Did he want to secure a place as the lady of the house just because someone as innocent as Dae-hyun hung out with him a few times?”

Son Yeo-il wanted to cover his ears, but he didn’t dare for fear that the sound of movement would reveal his presence. He closed his eyes tightly and waited for this time to end, but the filthy words grew increasingly explicit.

“But was there really nothing that happened between them at the hotel?”

“Senior, is that what you’re curious about now?”

“Well, if there was something that happened and then the confirmation was canceled, wouldn’t that mean Koo Dae-hyun just hit and ran?”

“The aftertaste must have been quite bad. Should we even count doing it with a homo as having eaten something? Isn’t it more like providing a service?”

“Come on, but he looked pretty. Slender too. Honestly, if you turn off the lights and do him, I think he’d be doable.”

“Hey, this guy’s a potential swinger.”

The giggles felt like stabs to his heart. This feeling of resentment, injustice, and misery was bitter and painful no matter how many times he experienced it. As he was thinking that he wanted to become as small as dust and disappear somewhere, the event staff who had left returned and announced that it was lunchtime.

“I don’t feel like eating. What’s there to eat in this rural place anyway? I saw only makgeolli stacked up earlier.”

“Exactly. Some people get Po*in buffet, and here we get makgeolli.”

Only after their grumbling voices disappeared in the distance as they went to eat could Son Yeo-il stumble out from behind the partition. As he quietly headed outside the community center, the smell of food and alcohol, along with the sounds of people laughing joyfully, hit him.

Despite having rested, Son Yeo-il looked worse than before. He had no appetite, of course. If he ate now, he felt like he might even up vomiting right away.

Trying not to catch people’s eyes, SonYeo-il headed toward a tree shade near the dining area. He tried to collect himself while sitting alone on a bench, but only distressing thoughts came to mind.

He thought he could escape from unwanted words by leaving Seoul, but seeing even strangers talking about such things, it seemed the stories about Son Yeo-il had spread far and wide.

What could he do in front of people who slandered him? Would it be better to step forward and correct what wasn’t true? Would people believe Son Yeo-il rather than Koo Dae-hyun?

I guess I shouldn’t have come today. No, why did I even go to law school in the first place…

As he grew endlessly gloomy, someone’s footsteps were heard. He tried to move away in alarm, but the stranger spotted Son Yeo-il more quickly.

“Ah, there you are. You’re the one from Yongju City, right?”