CTLI — Chapter 2

I came to my senses only after shooting myself in the head five times, hanging myself from a tree twice, and jumping off a cliff and into a river once each. I even threw myself into a den of zombies, hoping for the best—but nothing worked.

The thought that it might all be a dream vanished easily, erased by the scars left across my body. Each bullet I fired into my skull left its mark. The rope burns around my neck formed a neat circle, as if drawn on. Even the bite marks from zombies remained, still vivid.

Eventually, I had no choice but to face it.

Ah, I can’t die.

It was a reality more hopeless and horrifying than when the zombies first appeared or when the mutants emerged.

I sat like a lunatic in the middle of an abandoned city, staring blankly. I felt completely cut off from the world. I didn’t want to do anything. It all felt wrong, unreal. I sat there for a long time—but even then, I couldn’t escape the hunger.

Rubbing my dry eyes with one hand, I wrapped myself in whatever clothes I could find in a ruined clothing shop. The cold had started to seep into my bare skin. It was the first time I’d dressed this lightly since the zombies appeared, and a hollow laugh slipped out. I was supposed to return to the military, but I was shocked by how little motivation I felt.

After getting dressed, I stopped by a nearby convenience store. Since Zone 3 had been the first area to evacuate civilians after the outbreak, most of the food was still untouched. Anything that had to be refrigerated was spoiled, so I grabbed a few Choco Pies and some snacks to eat.

Then, out of nowhere, the thought occurred to me—maybe living like this wasn’t so bad. I didn’t know I even had this side of me. I was overwhelmed by a strange lethargy, doing nothing but eating and sleeping. I didn’t even think about leaving the area.

I slept in random houses near the convenience store, ate when I got hungry, and took walks when I had nothing else to do.

I think about a week passed like that. I spent the days idling away, but then one day, I suddenly thought—I should go back. I wasn’t sure what changed in me, but it just felt like I had to.

As if possessed, I returned to the site where the squad’s bodies still lay and gathered up guns and ammunition. Most of the corpses were already in an advanced state of decay, so I only took the bare minimum of usable equipment before heading out.

There were likely more zombies in Zones 1 and 2, so even if it took longer, it was smarter to take a detour. Even if I had this strange body that couldn’t die, that didn’t mean I couldn’t feel pain—so I figured I might as well avoid it if I could.

“Guess I should pack some food too.”

It had been so long since I’d spoken that my throat hurt, but after a few coughs to clear it, I headed toward the big supermarket. During the past week, the only things I’d had to eat were snacks, so I figured it was worth a little trouble to stock up on real food.

I walked at a leisurely pace. Over the week I’d spent wandering around Zone 3 under the pretense of “taking walks,” I hadn’t seen a single zombie. At most, there were a few crawling around with useless, ruined leg muscles—nothing that scared me.

The shutter of the supermarket was half-lowered, casting a shadow over the entrance. I pulled out my flashlight and was just about to step inside—when a scream rang out from a nearby alley.

Anyone could tell it was a human scream.

The moment I realized that, I rushed toward the sound. Were there still people left? I was sure all civilians who could be evacuated had already been moved. Had someone been left behind? Hoping I wasn’t too late, I raised my gun and sprinted into the alley.

Despite it being daytime, the alley was dim. A zombie with a twisted neck staggered forward, making a wet, rattling noise, while just ahead, a man was backing away with a look of panic on his face.

I immediately raised my gun and fired at the zombie’s head. Bang! With a harsh sound, the zombie crumpled to the ground without resistance. The man gasped and squeezed his eyes shut in surprise.

“You’re safe now. Will you come with me?”

Thankfully, it was a regular zombie—not a mutant. I tried to appear calm and offered the man my hand. He hesitated, glanced down at the zombie with a disgusted expression, and then quickly grabbed my outstretched hand.

As he stepped out of the alley, I was surprised by how big he was. He was just about my height, maybe a hair taller, and his build was broad overall. He couldn’t compare to me as a soldier, of course, but it was clear he had an uncommon frame.

In the sunlight, his face looked like he might’ve been an actor—handsome and clean-cut. If not for the deathly pallor of his skin, I might’ve stared at him in awe. I really must’ve been losing it. Instead of calming a civilian who’d just seen a zombie, I was gawking at his face.

“It just looked too real…”

As I began walking, thinking I needed to get him somewhere safe, a weak voice floated from behind me.

Did he think this was a dream? Or had the fear driven him mad? I didn’t know how he’d survived until now, but I couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for him. Whatever he’d gone through, it must’ve been enough to push him close to the edge.

I put aside my plan to gather food and took him back to the place I’d been staying temporarily.

Sitting him down on the couch, he mumbled nonsense about how things were “a little too realistic” and how he’d go home and recover once this was all over. Only after that did he finally seem to come to his senses and lift his head.

“Ah, thank you for saving me. I was, um, just… shocked.”

“Yes. You’re safe now. Are you hurt anywhere?”

“No, I’m really okay.”

He gave an awkward smile and nodded. I should’ve checked for infection before bringing him into the house, but at that point, it felt pointless.

With a neutral gaze, I looked over his body. Clean clothes, a tidy appearance, some visible muscle but barely any calluses. He gave off the vibe of someone who’d been sheltered—soft, like a nobleman’s son, completely out of place in this world.

“…What? Is something wrong?”

There were a lot of things wrong. Where had he been all this time? How had he survived looking like that in a world falling apart? Even if he’d stayed inside a building the whole time, why had he come out without a weapon?

I swallowed all those questions and shook my head.

“I was just checking for signs of infection. Can I have your identification? Were you with other uninfected individuals? If so, please let me know where you were staying so the military can ensure proper protection and escort.”

But none of that really mattered.

That’s when I realized I’d been lonely over the past week. Suspicious or not, a person was still a person—and I was just glad to see one.

“My name is Choi Dohyun. I’m twenty-five this year… I was too scared to leave the house, but we ran out of food, and I didn’t expect to run into a zombie…”

“I see.”

“Do I need to give you my resident registration number too?”

“That won’t be necessary.”

He blinked at my curt tone, then let out a sheepish laugh and scratched the back of his head. It was becoming clearer—this man wasn’t quite sane anymore. Despite being in real danger just moments ago, he didn’t show a trace of fear. And his outfit was far too light for this situation.

How could anyone make sense of someone who’d lost their mind? I could only conclude he wasn’t in his right mind—and in times like this, that wasn’t something to be ashamed of.

“You’re in the military, right?”

“Yes, I am.”

“You seem older than me. You can speak casually if you want. What’s your name?”

I quietly looked down at Choi Dohyun. The longer our eyes met in silence, the softer his smile became. The ruined city around us felt so surreal it was like standing on a movie set. I was the first to break eye contact.

“…Ma Kanghyuk.”

“Ma Kanghyuk.”

Choi Dohyun repeated my name under his breath, almost like he was tasting it. There was something tender in the way he said it, and just hearing that quiet mumble made me feel oddly self-conscious. He blinked a few times, gazed into empty space, then smiled as if something had clicked. I took a seat in the nearby chair.

No matter how unhinged he might have been, I figured he still needed time to collect himself. So I didn’t ask anything—I just waited quietly for him to settle down.

He stared at me for a long while before finally turning his head. Then he stood up and began pacing near the door, paused, then leaned over to look at a blank sheet of A4 paper on the corner of the desk. While he moved around the room in a daze, I stood up and put a cigarette between my lips.

I stepped out through the half-broken balcony door, lit the cigarette, and took a deep drag. Wherever I looked from the balcony, the same horrible reality awaited me.

Rotting corpses melting into the ground, swarming insects. The city had long since lost its function—nothing remained but its empty shell. Yet time continued to pass.

I sucked hard on the cigarette as I stared at the setting sun sinking beyond the darkened buildings. There was something distant about the sight of this silent city. Like I wasn’t really living in reality. Like if I just opened my eyes again, everything would be back where it belonged.

I’m sure everyone felt that way.

“Hyung.”

Choi Dohyun, who seemed to have finally gathered his thoughts, quietly called out to me and stepped up beside me. His eyes lingered briefly on the cigarette in my hand before naturally drifting toward the street. Then he scrubbed his face with his hands, grimacing, and took a step back.

“Do you need that?”

“No. I don’t smoke…”

Without hesitation, I slipped the cigarette pack back into my pocket. I took one last drag before flicking the nearly finished cigarette out over the balcony. I didn’t bother to watch where it landed. Instead, I turned back toward Choi Dohyun.

He stood there motionless, his face buried in his palms. I gently grabbed his arm and guided him back inside.

“Are you all right?”

“Ah, yeah… I’m okay. I’m just… not used to it yet. I think it’ll get better with time.”

“…”

“I can look, but the smell… it’s a bit much.”

Instead of offering a clumsy attempt at comfort, I chose to tell him something that might help him feel at ease.

“There’s a civilian safe zone not far from here. I’ll guide you there.”

At my words, Choi Dohyun suddenly lifted his head. He met my eyes for a brief moment before letting out a dry, humorless laugh.

Is this funny to him? This situation? I felt a flicker of irritation, but then caught sight of my own disheveled appearance and nodded to myself. Fair enough. Who would trust a soldier who wasn’t even properly armed claiming he could provide protection?

“It’ll take some time, but it’s not impossible to return.”

“No, no—it’s not that I don’t believe you…”

He trailed off, frowning as he ground his teeth together, then muttered with irritation, asking why it was only things like this that worked while everything else didn’t.

I wanted to ask what he meant by that, but something told me I shouldn’t. I wasn’t the type to act on instinct, but maybe the strange things I’d experienced lately had shifted something in me.

“Okay. I’ll trust you.”

He nodded, and the look in his eyes was filled with genuine trust.

Without a word, I walked over to the drawer near the front door and pulled it open. I took out a handgun I’d found a few days ago on an unnamed soldier’s corpse and held it out to him. No matter how much I offered protection, it would still be better if Choi Dohyun had a means to defend himself.

“It’s a compact 9mm pistol with a fifteen-round capacity. It’s not a bad idea to carry one.”

“A Glock 19. I’ve used one at an indoor shooting range before.”

“You won’t be able to carry it around openly at all times, but…”

I opened another drawer and pulled out a small hip pouch. I placed a spare magazine and a jackknife inside and handed it over. He accepted it with a strange expression, briefly examined the contents, then silently strapped it to his waist and dusted it off.

Thinking it’d be best to give him some water and emergency food just in case, I walked over to a drawer on the opposite wall.

“They really should’ve increased the inventory slots…”

“Sorry?”

“Ah, no—it’s nothing.”

When I turned to the murmuring behind me, Choi Dohyun quickly waved both hands and gave an awkward laugh.

I frowned slightly, then grabbed two bottles of water and a pack of jerky from atop the drawer and handed them over. He accepted those quietly as well and packed them into the hip pouch.

While he organized the bag, I looked out the window as dusk settled in and firmly locked the balcony door. Up until now, I’d lived recklessly—whether I jumped off something or got bitten by a zombie, I couldn’t die. But things were different now. Choi Dohyun was here. I couldn’t be careless anymore. He was a civilian I needed to protect.