DEB 149

Blood surged into Huiyun’s nasal cavity as he coughed it up. 

Amid the metallic stench, his consciousness faded, and his vision darkened. 

The moments before fainting were always the same. 

As rational thought blurred, a burst of intense emotion would flash, striking the mind like lightning. 

And in that defenseless instant, a deep sense of guilt surged forth from distant memories.

—Do you hate me that much?

—Yasha… Please, just look at me.

—…Master Yasha, not even once have you truly seen me.

A youthful voice burst forth like a dam breaking. The whirlwind of guilt pulled Huiyun into its eye.

—Yasha.

…Kelben.

A regretful whisper lingered on the tip of his tongue, but it never made it out.

His awareness faded faster than the movement of his lips. As his eyes closed, the memories he had buried blanketed his consciousness.

If one were to name the most foolish and cowardly period in Yasha’s life, it would be the time he spent with the so-called “Blessing of Gold,” the Gold Dragon.

Back then, Yasha was a fool. 

The notion of ending the war through suicide hadn’t come from nowhere, it was just that reckless and simplistic.

He had met Kelben not long after taking Verita as his disciple. 

It was a time before the six disciples had forged their strong bonds, and his relationship with them had yet to deepen. 

Back then, Yasha encountered a golden dragon who could have become his seventh disciple.

And at the same time, he saw that dragon’s future.

It was like a revelation, a prophetic vision unfolding vividly before his eyes.

That radiant Gold Dragon would one day fall into corruption, slaying dragons and humans alike, spreading blood across the land. 

The horrific vision, arriving without warning, could not be ignored. 

Not when he bore the responsibility of being the God’s Proxy.

So he couldn’t tear his attention away from that disastrous future, nor shake the ominous feeling it brought.

He felt pity for the injured Kelben, and sorrow for his cursed future. 

But even as he allowed the dragon into his lair, he never truly opened his heart, because of that fear.

Back then, Yasha was afraid.

If he had seen a future, it must have been divine will. 

If God had shown him something so ominous, how could he not fear it?

And so he made a foolish choice.

At the time, Kelben wasn’t a demonic dragon or a harbinger of disaster—just a timid golden dragon who longed for affection. 

Yet Yasha drove him away and ordered his disciples to avoid him.

He coldly rejected Kelben, who had said he wanted to become a disciple like the others. 

But even then, he allowed the dragon to stay in his lair, unable to bring himself to cast him out completely.

It was pure hypocrisy.

Despite such treatment, Kelben remained loyal. 

Even though Yasha never called him a disciple, Kelben stubbornly addressed him as “Master.” He eagerly assisted the disciples, helped humans, and supported fellow dragons.

Yet Yasha never stopped believing Kelben would become a demonic dragon.

He believed divine visions were absolute.

But when one side bears the burden of negative emotions alone, things are bound to fracture. 

In that cruelly one-sided relationship, it was Kelben who broke first.

The dragon who had always used “Master” began to address him as “Yasha.” 

The once-clingy golden dragon started vanishing without a trace and distanced himself from the disciples he once treated like siblings, no longer speaking to them.

That should have been Yasha’s wake-up call.

But it wasn’t.

Instead, he grew more suspicious. 

Every time Kelben disappeared, Yasha wondered if he had gone off to kill humans. 

When Kelben returned alone, Yasha lashed out at him, demanding that he leave if he planned to act as he pleased. 

It was a cowardly scolding, born from the assumption that Kelben would never truly leave.

—…So in the end, our relationship was only ever held together by me.

That day, Kelben wore a bitter smile Yasha had never seen before and pleaded to stay, promising not to act on his own again.

What must he have felt, saying that?

How miserable must it have been, begging to stay even when he knew he could be discarded the very next day?

Yasha should have realized it then. 

But instead, the future of “Kelben the Demonic Dragon” blinded him, dulled his reason, and deafened his ears. 

Even while they lived together, he always believed he might one day have to kill Kelben with his own hands.

And when that belief finally turned into action, Kelben let go of the thread he’d held onto alone.

On the day when black flames rose from the western mountains and spread south, burning half the ranges, Yasha saved all six of his disciples—Ash included—but not Kelben.

The dark, ominous flames were exactly as he had seen in that vision of Kelben’s future.

Yasha lived haunted by that memory, thinking that if that day ever came, he might have to let go of Kelben’s hand. 

That thought took form, and when Kelben reached out for help, Yasha turned away.

He shouldn’t have done that.

…He should never have done that.

—If you’re that afraid of me, then I’ll become the most terrifying future you can imagine, just for you.

—So remember me, Yasha. Burn it into your heart and live with it.

—No matter what anyone says, the one who created the Demonic Dragon Kelben… was your merciless hypocrisy.

Kelben returned, his body covered in burns from those hellish flames. 

And with those final words, he became the Demonic Dragon from Yasha’s vision and stood against him.

That day—no, everything leading up to that day—remained Yasha’s most tragic and agonizing failure. A guilt that haunted him to this very day.

—…Yasha, not even once have you truly seen me.

That was true.

If only he had tried—just once—to truly see Kelben for who he was, before he became what he did.

If only he had looked at him as Kelben the Gold Dragon, not the future Demonic Dragon.

If only he had believed that the future could change and guided Kelben toward a better path… Would their relationship have turned out differently?

“…Kelben.”

Huiyun murmured the name with a trembling voice as he slowly opened his eyes. 

He could still feel the warmth and pulse on his fingertips from when he had gripped Kelben’s throat. 

The sensation was so awful that he grimaced and sighed at the ceiling.

“…Again.”

He hurt him again.

He was afraid. Afraid that guilt would make him weak, that it would give the demons an opening, that his loved ones would be hurt again. 

And so he reacted with fear once more.

He bit his lip in bitter regret and rubbed his face with both hands.

His heart was in turmoil. 

His mind, a mess.

He had never properly apologized. While he couldn’t justify Kelben’s later deeds—murdering people, slaying dragons, siding with the demons—he still should’ve admitted that he was the one who made Kelben into the Demonic Dragon.

He had so many chances to free him from that grudge, but never took a single one.

Every time he saw Kelben after his fall, fear overtook him. Fear that his disciples might die at Kelben’s hands. Fear of the hostility he radiated.

It was the same during the recent Gate incident. Huiyun furrowed his brow in turmoil.

Even after ten thousand years…

Even in a new body…

He still hadn’t moved forward.

But now he understood.

He hadn’t known it as Yasha, but now that he was human, he finally saw it.

The future God showed him was not prophecy, but a warning. 

A piece of advice.

He should’ve guided Kelben to live a good life. 

Instead of believing in that future blindly, he should’ve doubted it. Instead of dreading it, he should’ve hoped it could be changed.

There were many things he should have done—and only one thing he should not.

Yet he chose that one thing, and it led to the worst possible ending.

As he bit his lip in self-loathing, a hand reached out and pressed gently against it.

“…You’ll hurt yourself like that.” 

It was Ash.

Huiyun met Ash’s eyes, which were just as bitter, and looked around.

“…It’s over, huh.”

“Yeah. …I got the heart too. They gave it as a Gate clear reward.”

“…”

He couldn’t answer. 

And Ash didn’t force a reply. 

He simply stood, opened the door, and said,

“The surgery went well. Moot said if we’re lucky, he’ll wake up in half a day.”

“…”

Huiyun nodded silently. Ash frowned in concern and sat by the bed. 

He hesitated, messed up his own hair, and finally spoke.

“…I’ve been debating whether or not to tell you. But I think it’s better if I do, so think carefully, Yasha.”

“…Tell me what?”

“Ten thousand years ago, the disaster that started in the western mountains… what if that happened to turn Kelben into the Demonic Dragon? What then?”