DEB 95

This was the first time Huiyun had ever been asked such a question.

In an effort to maintain composure, Huiyun skillfully controlled his facial muscles, knowing that the sharp Ash wouldn’t miss even the slightest reaction. 

This was a moment where mastering his expression was more important than ever.

Fortunately, Huiyun managed to keep his usual calm demeanor and, after observing Ash’s serious gaze, let out a small sigh. 

Ash had always been the most inquisitive of his disciples, so Huiyun was accustomed to receiving unexpected questions from him. 

However, this kind of question was a first.

Still, it wasn’t something incomprehensible.

Having not seen each other for tens of thousands of years, it made sense that Ash might feel more attached now. 

Given how suddenly Huiyun had disappeared, it was only natural that Ash might become possessive or protective, fearing a repeat of that loss. 

In a way, Huiyun could not blame him for these thoughts.

In fact, it wasn’t all that strange.

When you hold someone dear, such thoughts might cross your mind, even if just once.

Huiyun himself had once harbored similar feelings about his disciples. 

Understanding the impulse and inner conflict behind Ash’s question, Huiyun resumed stroking his hair. 

Tucking Ash’s long hair behind his ear, Huiyun’s face came into full view.

“Ash, life isn’t something you can hold onto like an object. You can’t possess it forever, and the very idea of owning someone doesn’t even make sense.”

Huiyun’s calm and rational response flowed out effortlessly. 

At that, Ash’s eyes, which had seemed somewhat troubled, curved mischievously again. 

Still, Huiyun caught a glimpse of something fierce in Ash’s eyes—a flicker of emotion that felt like a flame. 

The intensity of that feeling lingered, leaving behind a warmth that seemed to seep into his own body.

It felt like warmth, but perhaps something more than that. 

The strange sensation caused Huiyun to blink for a moment.

“Is that so?”

Ash responded belatedly.  

“Even if I held your heart, it wouldn’t feel like I have you?”

His words, seemingly lighthearted, carried an underlying longing. 

Huiyun recalled something from long ago.

The answer Ash had given when asked what he would do once he found Yasha.

Huiyun had thought those emotions had been resolved, slowly fading since they had re-established their master-disciple bond. 

But now, he realized those feelings might still remain.

With this realization, a soft chuckle escaped Huiyun’s lips. His eyes narrowed.

“Ash, do you think holding someone’s heart means you’ve truly possessed them?”

“…Huh?”

“If you drank my blood, ate my heart, and made it a part of your flesh and blood—if you turned every part of me into you—would that mean you’ve truly owned me?”

“…”

“If you cut out my tongue to silence me or took my legs so I couldn’t walk alone, would you have truly possessed me?”

The questions flowed out smoothly, and Ash remained silent, clearly caught off guard by Huiyun’s serious response. 

Huiyun chuckled, seeing the surprise in Ash’s trembling eyes, and gave his disciple’s shoulder a comforting pat. 

Ash leaned into the touch, and before long, Huiyun found himself half-embracing him.

In that position, Huiyun continued.

“Ash, even if my soul were bound to you, you still couldn’t say you possess me. Even then, you’d feel an unquenchable thirst. How do you plan to satisfy that insatiable desire when, even after claiming to have me, you’d still feel that emptiness?”

His gentle voice filled the room. 

Ash’s breathing grew shallow, and a faint tension hung in the air.

Perhaps because he was the first disciple Huiyun had taken in, Ash had grown to resemble him so much. 

Huiyun gazed at him quietly, then closed his eyes.

What a foolish thought.

“If you long for water and dive into a dry well, what will you gain? No matter how you try to possess life, you can never truly own it. All life is fleeting—sometimes it may leave before you, and sometimes you might leave first.”

“Yasha…”

“Even if we were to die on the same day, it would be the same. No matter how much you try to own me, you’d still believe that you don’t have me. Life is too free to be held by endless desire. …Child, you still haven’t grown.”

At those final words, Ash flinched. 

Feeling his disciple’s pulse through the contact, Huiyun opened his eyes. 

Staring back at him was a pair of frightened eyes, like those of a guilty child. 

From the moment Huiyun had called him “child,” Ash had reverted to his younger self, appearing as vulnerable as a young dragon.

Such is the power of perception.

When Huiyun met them for the first time, he had been thrown off because, as Mok Huiyun, he had perceived S-rank hunters as terrifying beings, and any possessiveness as something to be feared.

But now Huiyun understood. S-rank status was just a label. 

His disciples, no matter how powerful, were still young, fragile beings. 

And the possessiveness they felt was nothing more than an empty illusion.

There was no need to fear anything they might say.

“Ash, I don’t want you to chase after hollow things and end up empty. I want you to become a bright, radiant fire.”

Just as Ash had once been a flame that lit up Huiyun’s world, Huiyun wanted him to learn and grow into a fire that could illuminate the world. 

And yet, in a small corner of his heart, Huiyun also wished Ash would remain a flame that lit up only his darkness.

There had been a time when Huiyun felt that way.

While he was lost in these thoughts, a soft voice pierced the silence.  

“…Did I disappoint you?”

The question, filled with fear, came slowly. 

Huiyun patted his disciple, who had momentarily regressed into a childlike state.

“There’s no reason to talk about disappointment. You asked a question about something you didn’t know, that’s all. And there was a time when I didn’t know either, so I’ve had similar feelings. I understand your heart.”

“…Yasha had these feelings too?”  

“Yes.”  

“For whom?”

“Who else would it be? You were all I had.”

As he added that somewhat self-deprecating comment, Ash jerked his head up, eyes wide in surprise. 

Huiyun, amused by his reaction, let out a light laugh and adjusted his posture to sit up straight. 

Now facing Ash directly, Huiyun took his hand.

“There was a time when I, too, had foolish thoughts about you all. I didn’t want you to leave my side. I wished you could live your entire life not knowing anything, staying in the safety of my arms, always relying on me. But look, Ash. Over the years, how many of my foolish wishes have come true?”

Even though he had wished his disciples would never leave him, they had reincarnated over and over, living their own lives and finding their way back to him. 

They didn’t spend every moment with him. 

Of course not. 

New lives meant new experiences and new people.

He hadn’t understood that back then.

He had wanted them to remain innocent and ignorant in his arms, but the world was far too vast to be contained within those small arms. 

Eventually, all the truths came out, causing pain for both him and his disciples. 

Hiding the truth had been a futile effort. 

He hadn’t known that at the time, which is why he had hidden things, believing that keeping secrets was the right choice. 

It was the beginning of his foolish decisions.

He had wanted them to always seek him out and depend on him, but now his disciples were the ones hoping Huiyun would come to them and depend on them. 

With time, relationships naturally reversed, and children grew into adults capable of protecting others. 

Yet, Huiyun had been reluctant to face this truth, so he pretended not to see it. 

But even so, his disciples had grown up, become adults, and sometimes turned back into children, seeking the comfort of his arms.

Looking back, not a single one of the wishes he had held was free of foolishness or futility.

That was the way of the world.

Huiyun had experienced it all, and that’s why he knew better now. His disciples hadn’t gone through it yet, and he didn’t want them to experience such hollow feelings.

That’s why teachers exist.

A teacher who has paved the way can lead their disciples down the right path.

As Huiyun let out a bitter smile, Ash’s expression darkened in response. 

Huiyun gripped Ash’s hand tightly, looking him in the eyes.

“If you want me to stay, I’ll remain by your side as long as there’s no unavoidable reason not to. You don’t need to fear a time that may never come. I don’t plan on teaching you to be afraid, so what is there to fear?”

At that moment, Ash felt as if time had stopped. 

The ticking of the clock, the beat of his heart, the flow of the world—it all seemed to pause. 

In the stillness, the image of Yasha overlapped with Huiyun’s figure.

The one who had once seemed small and delicate now appeared as massive as a towering mountain. 

The dark hair Huiyun bore shimmered, overlaid with the memory of Yasha’s holy silver locks. 

And the familiar, pale yet warm eyes looked down on him, as though they belonged to both Huiyun and Yasha.

A wave of longing surged through him. As time resumed its flow, the scent of old memories seemed to waft on the breeze. 

Ash, overcome with emotion, instinctively tightened his grip on Huiyun’s hand.

He wanted to say something, but the words wouldn’t come. 

All Huiyun did was wait.

Finally, Ash let out a deep breath and relaxed.

“…Wow. After being blindsided by Yasha so many times, I can’t trust you at all.”

The words he spoke after all that were sly and playful. 

Huiyun, feeling there was some truth to it, responded with an easy smile, without hiding the fact that he had been caught off guard many times himself. 

Ash, feeling more at ease, broke into a broad grin.

“I can already guess what those ‘unavoidable reasons’ will be…”

“Probably, yes.”

“Still, if those reasons come up, I’ll protect Yasha.”

So think it over again.

The one who had claimed he wanted to possess Huiyun had now vowed to protect him. 

Yet even though his words had changed, Huiyun knew they still carried the same meaning as before. 

As Ash smiled, Huiyun recalled his first disciple’s very first smile.

“I’ll make sure no one ever forgets you, Yasha.”

Everything comes full circle, returning to the beginning. 

Even after all their mistakes and the hurt they’d caused each other.

In the end, that hope remained, etched into their names.

“You’ve changed, yet haven’t changed at all.”

“…Hm?”

“You’re as reliable as ever.”

Ash.

Huiyun cherished the name as he smiled, eyes crinkling in joy. 

For some reason, Ash seemed stunned by Huiyun’s expression. 

He stared at him for a long time, as if time itself had frozen once more, holding his breath all the while.