EAR Ch 16

It was truly unbelievable.

Seungpyo stared at his reflection as if it were a stranger. Usually, he’d stand in front of the mirror, satisfied with his gradually maturing features, making various expressions, flexing his biceps, and checking the increasingly defined muscles. Today, Oh Seungpyo looked at himself differently.

Since early evening, he’d been so restless that his older brother had scolded him for acting like a nervous dog. He felt wronged, but he couldn’t explain the situation. How could he tell his brother, “I made a bet with a classmate and lost, so I have to film myself masturbating and send it to him”? His brother would breathe fire, curse him out, beat him up, then snatch his phone and smash it to pieces. And he wouldn’t be able to say a word about it.

Several days had passed since the preliminary scores caused all the commotion, and the long-awaited announcement board was finally posted at school. There were no surprises. At the very top was Ryu Jaemin’s name, and right below it, Oh Seungpyo’s, just like the familiar sight Ilyang Boys’ High School students were used to.

The disappointment of losing again, the frustration of almost winning, had all subsided during the days leading up to the official posting. Seungpyo felt indifferent as he looked at the board. It was so much like usual that the intense bet between them felt like a dream.

“Keep your promise.”

But Ryu Jaemin brought him back to the harsh reality. Passing by Seungpyo standing in front of the announcement board, he reminded him to fulfill the terms of their bet.

Even though he had agreed to the conditions, he still wasn’t thrilled. He had to imitate something a pervert like Ryu Jaemin did for fun…

Seungpyo sighed deeply and pulled off his t-shirt. The boy’s body, still free of any excess fat, was growing stronger day by day, developing a firm shape through various ball games, push-ups, pull-ups, and other small muscle-building exercises.

Seungpyo inhaled, puffing out his chest and lats, and exhaled slowly, accentuating his defined abs. After a few deep breaths, he finally seemed to make up his mind and took out his phone.

He opened the camera app and switched to selfie mode. His awkward face appeared on the screen, and Seungpyo quickly lowered the phone, adjusting the angle so his face wasn’t visible, placing it on the desk. He meticulously adjusted the distance so his neck, upper body, and groin were in frame.

He pulled down his underwear and the waistband of his training pants, then took hold of his still-dormant penis. Even though it wasn’t aroused yet, it was already undeniably adult.

When did he first start masturbating? He couldn’t remember if it was sixth grade or seventh. Anyway, ever since he first discovered sex around that time, Seungpyo had engaged in countless similar acts. But he had never touched himself for someone else to see, let alone a male classmate.

Masturbating for the purpose of being watched felt extremely awkward. He wondered if he could even get hard. He felt no excitement at the prospect of this supposedly immoral and indecent act, only the same embarrassment he felt when standing shirtless in line for a physical examination.

It was a little past 11 PM. His brother had rushed out around 10, saying he was meeting some upperclassmen, so he wouldn’t be back until dawn, probably drunk and crawling on all fours.

The house, with the TV off, was very quiet. The silence heightened his senses. Small sounds were amplified, and even the passing cars outside, which he normally wouldn’t notice, seemed unusually loud.

…Ryu Jaemin suited a calm, quiet atmosphere and stillness more than a noisy, bustling one. Even though he wasn’t exactly quiet or polite when he did speak, everyone would probably agree. Ryu Jaemin, the top student, was incredibly good at acting like a well-behaved, quiet model student.

Thinking of Ryu Jaemin made it feel like another presence was subtly entering the empty room. Although there was only a white wall across from his desk, imagining Jaemin sitting there, watching him with his familiar expressionless face, felt strange. What would he say if he saw him now?

‘What are you doing? Hurry up.’

Probably something like that. He was stiff and uncooperative, even though he could be charming to the perverts online.

But just imagining Ryu Jaemin’s voice, expression, gestures, and gaze made him feel a little less awkward. Seungpyo sighed deeply once more. If his first sigh had been one of resignation, this one was slightly excited.

“This video is being filmed because Ryu Jaemin from Class 3, Year 2 of Ilyang Boys’ High School told me to film it.”

After saying that as if reciting an announcement, he took hold of his not-yet-fully-hard penis with his lotion-covered hand. Masturbating alone and silently felt strange. Oh Seungpyo started talking as if sending a video message to the person who would watch this later.

“Hey, Ryu Jaemin.”

It wasn’t forced awkwardness or an attempt to create a sexy mood. It was closer to his usual casual tone, as if Jaemin was actually there in front of him. Seungpyo chuckled and continued.

“Your dick is smaller than mine, right? It looked that way in the video you sent.”

He stroked his length, and his initially unresponsive penis quickly swelled and hardened.

Now erect and reaching almost to his navel, it had grown so large that he needed both hands to grip it properly. Seungpyo grinned, shaking it as if showing off its size.

Then, he slowly stroked his entire length, and later, began rotating his wrist, focusing on the upper part. He also cupped and rubbed the bulging glans with his palm.

The mixture of his increasingly rough breathing and the sticky sound of lotion made it feel real, like he was making an actual masturbation video, complete with sound effects. Seungpyo licked his lips.

“You seem to like, haah, touching it here.”

In that old SNS video, Ryu Jaemin had repeatedly rubbed his glans with his palm, and after repeating it several times, he had shuddered and stopped, as if overwhelmed by pleasure. Even though the video had no face or sound, every time Ryu Jaemin gasped and writhed, it was incredibly hot.

If it felt that good with his own hand, it would feel even better with someone else’s. If it weren’t for that annoying multiple-answer English question, he could have been holding Ryu Jaemin and playing with him….

While masturbating, Seungpyo imagined how Jaemin would react if he touched him like this. His touch became stickier and more intense. The initial awkwardness and embarrassment seemed to have evaporated in the heat, and now Seungpyo was deliberately adjusting his pace, showing off as he played with himself.

“You do constriction too. But… they say if you do constriction too often, hooh, it’ll be hard to cum normally later…”

It was something he usually did without a second thought, but being conscious of filming it, and knowing Ryu Jaemin would watch it, made him much more aroused.

Seungpyo gritted his teeth, feeling like he would cum soon if he didn’t keep talking nonsense. Jaemin hadn’t specified how long the video should be, but….

‘It’ll look like I have premature ejaculation if I cum too quickly.’

As he got closer, he became less talkative, not wanting to reveal his desperation. He tried to control his breathing and the intensity of his strokes, not wanting to look ridiculous by panting too much. Hooh, he was slightly sweaty now, and it was getting hot.

“Hey, I’m thirsty. I’m gonna get some water.”

Seungpyo stopped masturbating and abruptly grabbed a water bottle, twisting off the cap. Gulp, gulp, gulp. With each swallow, his erect penis swayed rhythmically, its weight noticeable.

When he finished drinking, a thin trickle of water escaped his lips, tracing a path down his neck and chest, finally settling on his abdomen.

“Ah, cold. Almost killed my dick,” Seungpyo chuckled, joking, even though his flushed member showed no signs of calming down from the cold water.

“Round two.”

The squelching sounds of him rubbing his wet skin suggested he wasn’t done yet.

📚

A rare pleasant atmosphere filled Jaemin’s home tonight. The housekeeper, who had stayed late preparing a lavish dinner, was getting ready to leave with a cheerful smile.

Jaemin, feeling slightly awkward about continuing to sit with his parents, offered to see her out to the front door. As the housekeeper put on her shoes, she gushed, “Jaemin, congratulations! A perfect score! My goodness, I didn’t even know such a score existed when I was raising my children.”

“The test was a bit easy this time,” Jaemin replied, smiling sheepishly. The housekeeper, delighted by his humility, left with a beaming face.

She had always been fond of Jaemin, but her joy wasn’t solely due to his perfect score. His mother, thrilled by the news, had requested a special dinner setup to celebrate, offering a generous bonus in return.

In any case, everyone in the house was happy, and the meal was delicious, so Jaemin wasn’t displeased either. Returning to the living room, he overheard his parents talking in hushed tones at the dining table.

“Even Somin only got perfect scores twice in all her high school years.”

“See? Jaemin can do it if he tries.”

“Anyway, keep a close eye on Jaemin so he doesn’t stray.”

While Jaemin had been seeing the housekeeper out, the conversation had shifted to his older sister. Well, it was true that his sister had been better at studying than him. That’s why his parents lamented the reality that she hadn’t lived according to their expectations.

Unfazed by overhearing their conversation, Jaemin called out to them indifferently, “Father, Mother. I’m going to my room now.”

“Alright. You worked really hard for this exam. If you keep this up, you’ll have nothing to worry about,” his father praised. The compliment didn’t stir any particular emotion in Jaemin, but he feigned a cheerful smile and replied, “Yes, goodnight.”

The end of exams, the release of grades, maintaining his top rank, and winning the bet—none of these held any special significance for Jaemin. While some students would excitedly gather to go to PC rooms or arcades, or even go home early to laze around and watch YouTube all day after the last exam, Jaemin wasn’t one of them. A perfect score on all subjects was certainly a joyous occasion, but he had already savored that joy when the multiple-choice answers for English were accepted.

Until he became an adult and left this routine, every day was the same. Another identical day had passed. One mid-term exam for his sophomore year had ended, but more than a year remained until the final college entrance exam results.

Jaemin brushed his teeth and sat at his desk. Getting a perfect score didn’t excuse him from his daily study routine. He focused for two hours before stretching.

‘Should I sleep now?’

His clock read almost 11:30 PM. He had finished everything he needed to do for the day. Without any lingering unease or guilt, Jaemin got up from his desk, stretched briefly, and opened the door.

“Goodnight,” he said, although the living room was already empty. Then, he went to his bed.

He stealthily retrieved his second phone hidden under the mattress. He checked his social media DMs, but there were no new messages from his sole follower.

‘When is he going to send it? Did he fall asleep without filming it?’

He had clearly said to send it today, but there was no sign of it. Only 30 minutes of today remained. He had been the one to suggest the bet so eloquently, but was he planning to ignore it now?

He didn’t really want to see the guy’s solo video, but he wouldn’t let him off the hook if he broke his promise. If this method failed, he would find another way to humiliate him.

As he frowned, silently staring at his phone screen, a new message notification suddenly popped up. He tapped the icon, and the chat window with Oh Seungpyo appeared at the top.

Inside the chat window was a video file waiting to be played, along with a short message below:

Sent before 12

Jaemin scoffed and replied immediately:

Why did it take so long?

What took so long?

Were you jerking off since early evening?

I’ll check it out

Now?

When else?

Be careful with the sound. I’m going to sleep

Oh Seungpyo left abruptly with that last message.

Right, the sound. Jaemin hurriedly grabbed his earphones. Even with them on, he lowered the phone’s volume just in case, then paused before pressing play.

‘Oh Seungpyo’s masturbation video…’

He had demanded the same thing in retaliation for Oh Seungpyo calling him names like “whore” and “slut” after seeing his social media video, and for the guy’s obnoxious behavior towards him.

Honestly, he didn’t want to see it. At this point, it felt like self-inflicted punishment. If he had won the bet, he should be gleefully enjoying the loser’s humiliation, but instead, he was forced to watch a video he didn’t want to see.

He had imagined Oh Seungpyo doing such things while remembering the insults, but that was merely a fake Oh Seungpyo created in his mind. He knew that. The real Oh Seungpyo’s masturbation scene would undoubtedly be disgusting and repulsive, and watching it might even make him averse to the kisses they had shared.

He could simply choose not to watch it, but he needed to know the content to properly tease Oh Seungpyo. Jaemin sighed heavily, then, as if making a grand decision, finally pressed the play button.

The still, black screen came to life. Oh Seungpyo’s naked body suddenly filled the frame.

Jaemin coughed softly, as if choking. He hadn’t specifically told him to take his clothes off, just to masturbate. The guy was overly enthusiastic.

After a brief rustling sound, he heard Oh Seungpyo sigh from somewhere above. Initially taken aback by the sigh before anything even happened, Jaemin regained his composure and felt the urge to sneer.

‘Does he think I want to watch this?’

Thinking back, it was ridiculous. The guy who had openly mocked him, saying he would definitely lose when Jaemin suggested the basketball bet, had initiated a wager based on exam rankings of all things.

To be fair, Oh Seungpyo, who consistently missed first place by a narrow margin, had much better odds than Ryu Jaemin, who had never played a basketball game in his life. Still, it was by no means a sure bet.

Of course, if it had been a sure win for Oh Seungpyo, Jaemin wouldn’t have accepted the proposal in the first place. While Jaemin was pondering these thoughts, Seungpyo’s voice started playing from the video.

[This video is being filmed at the request of Ryu Jaemin, Class 3, Year 2, Ilyang Boys’ High School.]

Jaemin didn’t need to ask why Seungpyo had meticulously listed his school, year, class, and full name. It was a ploy to drag Jaemin down with him if the video ever got out.

I would’ve done the same. Jaemin chuckled softly and continued watching. Judging by Seungpyo’s talkative nature, it seemed like the video would be more entertaining than he’d expected, which was a relief.

Oh Seungpyo squeezed lotion onto his palm and then grasped his penis. The previously obscured organ now came into full view on the screen.

Even before becoming fully erect, his large penis was slowly stroked in his hand. The only sound in the silence was the sticky friction caused by the lotion. Even though the screen couldn’t transmit temperature, Jaemin felt himself growing hotter, as if the surrounding air had warmed up. Feeling strange, he swallowed dryly.

[Hey, Ryu Jaemin.]

Jaemin’s heart, which had been pounding with nervous anticipation, leaped in surprise at the sudden mention of his name.

He quickly pulled out his earphones and listened to his surroundings. Fortunately, the house was silent; his parents seemed to be asleep.

[Your dick is smaller than mine, right? That’s what it looked like in the video you took before.]

The following words were provocative. Seungpyo, who had been stroking slowly at first, now began to pump his penis with more force. Already sizable, it grew thicker, as wide as his forearm, hardening and rising fully erect.

Jaemin blushed, involuntarily glancing down at his own underwear. He hadn’t seen many other boys’ penises, and even if he had, they were usually flaccid, so he couldn’t be sure if his was large or small. However, he had always considered his to be of decent size.

He had heard all sorts of comments while running his SNS account: Your dick is surprisingly big, You’re a slut-in-training, eager to sell your hole, what use is a big dick to you?, With a dick that big, you must be good at tormenting your asshole. Despite the cheap sexual harassment, he could easily deduce one conclusion: Ryu Jaemin’s penis is relatively large.

Even though the only comparison he had was himself, Seungpyo’s seemed above average, even to Jaemin. The shape, thick and long with almost no curve until the glans, was different from his own. He was reminded of the logs piled up for firewood at a pension he had visited with his parents for a faculty family gathering.

Seungpyo grasped the tip of his glans and shook his penis with a grin. He didn’t seem humiliated at all by being forced to film a masturbation video; on the contrary, he seemed to be enjoying the situation.

‘I shouldn’t have asked him to do this.’

It was Jaemin who was blushing with embarrassment just from watching. He should have asked for something else. Seungpyo seemed far too cheerful for someone who had lost a bet.

Jaemin had run an anonymous account for a year, enduring all sorts of perverts. He thought he could watch Oh Seungpyo’s masturbation video with the same indifference he felt towards cinema advertisements, but seeing the stiffly erect penis swaying in front of him made his face burn even before anything substantial happened.

Come to think of it, he was used to being the one filming what people asked for, not watching others’. He had started his SNS inspired by a random account he stumbled upon, but once he started posting his own photos and videos, he stopped browsing other accounts. He wasn’t interested in typical pornography either, so he was practically immune to the “watching” side of things.

Jaemin involuntarily checked the progress bar. Less than a minute had passed, but the entire video was a whopping 30 minutes long.

Is this guy crazy? Why did he make it so long? Jaemin gaped in disbelief.

[Huu, haa…]

While Jaemin was growing anxious, Seungpyo’s touch became increasingly bold. The squelching sounds of the clear fluid mixing with the lotion grew louder, and Seungpyo’s breathing became ragged.

Having played basketball together, Jaemin had heard Oh Seungpyo panting before, but this was distinctly different from the breaths he took during exercise. Jaemin exhaled a shaky breath. Seungpyo was masturbating, but Jaemin was just lying in bed watching a video. Why was he getting so breathless?

He had never imagined how others masturbated, so he never considered that everyone might have a different method. Seungpyo’s way of touching himself was slightly different from his own. As he stared at the video, fascinated, Seungpyo spoke again.

[You seem to like it when, haa, I touch you here.]

In the video, Seungpyo cupped his glans in his palm and rubbed it, making a squelching sound. Jaemin’s face burned even hotter.

His heart raced as if Seungpyo had caught him observing his actions. Seeing Seungpyo caress his penis while talking about him made Jaemin feel lightheaded, as if his skin was on fire. For a moment, he had the illusion that the large hand on the screen was actually touching him.

A tingling sensation ran through his lower body, from below his navel to his inner thighs. Jaemin instinctively reached down, then hesitated, stopping and clenching his jaw. He couldn’t deny that his own penis was starting to harden…

…But masturbating while watching Oh Seungpyo’s video? He really didn’t want to do that.

Jaemin bit his lip slightly and fidgeted involuntarily. Seungpyo seemed to be getting more absorbed in his activity, stopping his chatter and only panting as he stroked his penis, varying the pace.

Instead of reaching down, Jaemin crossed his legs, thighs pressed together. He cautiously tensed the muscles between his legs, feeling as if he was being watched by Oh Seungpyo on the screen.

[You also like pressure. But… if you do pressure masturbation too often, huu, they say it becomes hard to, huu, cum normally later…]

“Ah, what the…”

Jaemin flinched, feeling as if Seungpyo was commenting on his own actions. Was this a video call and not a recording? He had the absurd thought and pressed the pause button. It stopped properly, confirming it was indeed a recorded video.

[Hey, I’m thirsty. I’m gonna get some water.]

Oh Seungpyo, who had been engrossed in his masturbation, suddenly reached towards the camera and grabbed a water bottle from off-screen. The sound of the cap twisting off, the gulping sounds as he drank, made Jaemin feel like he could see Seungpyo’s face, even though it wasn’t in the frame. Each gulp made his still-erect penis twitch slightly.

Is this bastard doing this on purpose?

Despite his embarrassment, Jaemin couldn’t tear his eyes away. Then, a thin trickle of water escaped Oh Seungpyo’s lips, tracing a path down his neck and chest to his lower abdomen.

[Ah, cold. Almost killed my dick. Round two.]

While Seungpyo chuckled, Jaemin’s eyes wavered. He muttered to himself, “Is he crazy? He actually filmed a proper porn video…”

Oh Seungpyo seemed much more adept at creating a show than Jaemin, who had uploaded all sorts of videos to his SNS account for a year. It was hard to believe this was Seungpyo’s first time filming.

Ignoring Jaemin’s mixed feelings of admiration and disdain, the video continued. Oh Seungpyo seemed to be focusing on his task again, silently stroking his penis for a while. With no other sounds but the wet, sticky noises and his excited breathing, the atmosphere felt even more lewd. The heat in Jaemin’s face persisted.

Seungpyo sighed deeply and spoke again.

[Um… Ryu Jaemin, you know… I told you I wanted to kiss you somewhere else.]

“…….”

[I’ve been thinking… I want to suck your nipples. Tell me tomorrow if that’s okay.]

“What…?”

He found himself responding unconsciously. Jaemin blinked blankly.

He had only been thinking about kisses on the ear or neck, but what was this now?

He had encountered countless perverts online who constantly pestered him about sucking his nipples. Perhaps Oh Seungpyo had gotten the idea from reading their comments.

It wasn’t particularly embarrassing, but the spoken word held a power that the written word couldn’t match. As Jaemin sat dumbfounded, eyes wide, Oh Seungpyo continued shamelessly on screen.

[I wanted to give you a handjob too, but I lost this time… Haa… Hey, but aren’t you curious? I could, um, touch your dick like this too…]

His touch, squeezing and stroking his slick penis, was vulgar. The squelching sounds became even more obscene, making Jaemin want to cover his ears.

Of course, if he didn’t want to hear Oh Seungpyo’s voice, he could simply mute the phone. Or even just remove his earphones.

But Jaemin remained frozen, listening to every word of the dirty talk, neither covering his ears nor lowering the volume or removing the earphones. He stared at the screen with a slightly pained expression, then propped his phone up at an angle so he could still see it while lying down, and rolled over onto his stomach.

It shouldn’t have mattered whether he watched lying down or on his stomach, but tonight, facing the screen directly felt awkward. Jaemin pulled the covers over his head, wriggled a pillow between his legs, and started rubbing himself against it while watching the screen.

“Mmm…”

A dull heat, different from the direct stimulation of his penis, spread through his lower abdomen. The creeping pleasure made him want to close his eyes, but Jaemin kept them open, blinking slowly as he watched Seungpyo stroking his large penis faster and faster. Oh Seungpyo’s rough, low panting filled his ears.

[Ugh, I think I’m going to cum.]

“So cum. Ugh, what do you want me to do about it…?”

Even as he grumbled, Jaemin’s movements quickened, mirroring Seungpyo’s hand. He slipped his hand inside his underwear, grasped his fully erect penis, and began rocking his hips back and forth, pressing down with his body weight.

The mingling of Seungpyo’s panting and his own ragged breaths made it feel as if they were doing something lewd together. It was no different from his usual masturbation in that he was alone, yet his body felt much hotter than usual. The tingling pleasure in his groin intensified, and Jaemin hurriedly muffled his mouth with the covers.

[Haa, ah.]

“Mmmph, hhh.”

Stifling his moans in case they were heard outside, he finally squeezed his eyes shut at the last moment. His hips, buttocks, and thighs twitched as the pent-up heat within him was released. He always trembled slightly during orgasm, but today the tremors lasted much longer.

“…Haa…”

Exhaustion washed over him as he finished. Burying his face in the covers to catch his breath, Jaemin turned his head to the side and finally exhaled. While his eyes had been closed, Seungpyo on screen had also reached his climax.

A whitish fluid spurted from the tip of his large penis, landing on his hand and dripping down. Panting, Seungpyo quickly wiped it off with a tissue. His rough breathing was devoid of any amusement, but after cleaning up and calming down, his voice regained its playful tone.

[That was enough of a show, right? Think seriously about what I said.]

“…….”

[I’m going to kiss you tomorrow. Bye.]

He even waved goodbye. The video ended as soon as he finished speaking. Jaemin stared blankly at the still image, unable to even muster a scoff.

…He had thought that after watching the video, he might lose all interest and not even want to kiss Seungpyo anymore.

Jaemin reached out and rewound the progress bar slightly. Oh Seungpyo’s voice repeated.

[I’m going to kiss you tomorrow. Bye.]

The video ended again. The heated moment, which had felt shared, was over, leaving Jaemin alone in the dark silence, belatedly feeling embarrassed. Why had he listened to that cheesy line twice?

Jaemin quickly closed the message window and carefully hid his phone again. He wiped his hand and penis clean with a wet tissue, quietly slipped out to the bathroom to finish cleaning up, and returned to his room.

Lying back in bed, he briefly considered how to respond to Oh Seungpyo, then decided to wait until they met tomorrow.

Usually, he would fall asleep quickly after masturbating, but tonight, Jaemin tossed and turned. His heart pounded as if he were ill, forcing him to take deep breaths for no reason. Perhaps the video had been too stimulating right before bed.

In the end, Jaemin had to admit that he was looking forward to tomorrow. The fact that the reason was Oh Seungpyo wounded his pride.

He used to look forward to things like sports days or outings with friends when he was in elementary school, but that was long ago. For Jaemin, school events had become filled with exams, assignments, and competitions.

It had only been two months since something as frivolous and exciting as kissing had entered his bleak schedule. It was understandable that he hadn’t gotten used to it yet.

📚

Even with a restless night, he didn’t oversleep.

Slightly drowsy, Jaemin arrived at school at his usual time. With the exam atmosphere completely gone, the classroom was unusually boisterous from the morning. A jumble of conversations reached him before he even sat down.

“We always go somewhere after midterms.”

“Where are we going this time?”

“Neverland, obviously. Last year’s sophomores went to Neverland.”

“It was annoying going to the museum in freshman year. An amusement park is awesome.”

The unusual commotion seemed to stem from exciting news.

After the midterms, the first semester field trip awaited. Last year, the students had complained endlessly about the ancient artifacts exhibition, but this year, it seemed they were going to an amusement park. It had been a long time since Jaemin had last been to one, so he wasn’t opposed to the idea.

As Jaemin sat down and organized his things, a group of classmates who often hung out together approached, pulling up empty chairs.

“Ryu Jaemin, did you hear? We’re going to Neverland.”

“Yeah, seems like it.”

“Are you good with rides? Like rollercoasters?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t been to an amusement park since I was little.”

While talking with his classmates, Jaemin’s attention drifted elsewhere. A similar conversation was taking place in the distance, where the other students usually gathered.

“Oh Seungpyo is surprisingly bad with those things.”

“That bastard has acrophobia.”

Oh Seungpyo’s complaining voice reached him.

“It’s not acrophobia. I can ride those. Being up high is just for a short time, and then you come down quickly.”

“That’s acrophobia.”

Acrophobia. It didn’t seem like a word that suited Oh Seungpyo. Jaemin could more easily imagine him being fearless and triumphant at a height.

Seungpyo’s tone among his friends was familiar to Jaemin: boisterous laughter, occasional gruffness, and frequent jokes laced with profanity.

It was different from the voice he had heard in the video yesterday. It was still playful, but yesterday’s voice had been more intimate, lower, and his breathing… disarranged. It felt different from the Oh Seungpyo he encountered at school.

Lost in his thoughts while eavesdropping, Jaemin was nudged by the classmate next to him.

“Ryu Jaemin, are you listening?”

“Huh? Yeah.”

“Then let’s go together with Kyungsu and me at Neverland.”

“Uh…”

While he had been zoning out, it seemed the field trip groups had already been formed. Jaemin was slightly flustered but nodded.

Even in his sophomore year, Jaemin still didn’t have any close friends, but he needed classmates to hang out with on these occasions. He didn’t mind as long as he wasn’t uncomfortable with the group.

Leaving the vaguely agreeable Jaemin by their side, the other students raised their voices excitedly, as if they were leaving tomorrow.

“I can’t wait. Isn’t it great that the field trip is right after midterms?”

“It’s better than before the exams. Ryu Jaemin, download the app too. You need it to reserve rides.”

“I’ll download it before we go.”

Jaemin smiled and played along with their excitement, looking like a boy genuinely anticipating a field trip. However, his cheerful smile was only superficial. He didn’t feel the same surge of anticipation that filled the classroom.

This tendency to feel a heavy anchor weighing down his heart, even when faced with something enjoyable, had become more than a habit; it felt like a part of his personality. He used to wonder if something was wrong with him, but he decided to consider it a phenomenon exclusive to this period of suspended animation in his life. He believed his real life would begin at twenty, so it would be contradictory to genuinely enjoy every moment before then.

Jaemin disliked the kind of relationships dressed up with labels like “best friend” or “close friend.” While it was human nature to avoid being ostracized, and Jaemin hadn’t always been this way, he had learned early on that forming genuine, uncalculating friendships was only possible in early childhood. And he had realized this sooner rather than later.

Children have limited choices. They’re placed in a fishbowl, designed by adults, and expected to somehow become friends with the same-age peers assigned to them. They search for compatible individuals among the strangers, converse, get to know each other, and sometimes drift apart or become disappointed. If they fail, they start over.

While he could have put in the effort, Jaemin had concluded in middle school that making “friends” wasn’t worth it.

Meanwhile, the conversation between Oh Seungpyo and his friends continued.

“I want to see the pandas. I’ve never seen a real one.”

Oh Seungpyo, who claimed to have acrophobia, was acting cute, saying he wanted to see pandas.

“The line for the pandas is super long. You have to make a reservation as soon as it opens.”

“I’ll wait. I watch Neverland panda vlogs every day.”

Jaemin scoffed inwardly, replaying yesterday’s video in his mind. Pandas? If these kids knew what that big guy, talking like a child, had done last night and what he had said to Jaemin, they would faint.

The boisterous atmosphere didn’t subside even with the arrival of their homeroom teacher. Before the teacher could even reach the podium, a student asked, “Are we going to Neverland for the field trip?”

The teacher replied without surprise, “We have for the past five years, so probably.”

Amidst the students’ laughter, the teacher proceeded with a brief homeroom meeting without bothering to demand silence. “It feels like the midterms just ended, but it’s already been a week. Time to get your act together. Once you start slacking off, there’s no end to it. What’s so special about a field trip? Study hard, get into a good college, then think about going to places like Neverland for dates.”

The teacher’s scolding didn’t dampen the students’ excitement. Instead, some reacted to the word “date,” chuckling and whispering jokes like, “You won’t be able to anyway, girls hate you,” or, “You’re going to die alone, so you have to have fun now.” The teacher simply shrugged and sighed at the unyielding atmosphere.

“Prepare for class. See you later.”

“Yes―!”

As soon as homeroom ended, Jaemin stood up. He still felt drowsy, probably due to sleeping late last night. He thought it best to wake himself up properly before class started.

The cafeteria should still be open, right?

Once classes began, the cafeteria would close until lunchtime. He hurried down the stairs, sensing someone following him. It had to be Oh Seungpyo. Jaemin wasn’t the only one whose mind was preoccupied this morning, especially after sending that video last night.

Although it was daytime, last night felt too close, making it difficult for him to face Seungpyo directly. Jaemin pretended not to notice and quickened his pace, but Seungpyo caught up and spoke.

“Where are you going?”

“Cafeteria.”

“Are you hungry?”

“A bit sleepy.”

Jaemin replied curtly, looking straight ahead. Oh Seungpyo grinned and lowered his voice, “Why are you sleepy? Did you stay up late last night?”

About to answer thoughtlessly, Jaemin caught the hidden meaning in the question. Forgetting his earlier embarrassment, he glared at Seungpyo, who frowned slightly, feigning innocence.

“Why are you glaring? You’re the one who asked me to send it.”

“Keep your mouth shut in the hallway.”

Fortunately, the cafeteria was still open. Seungpyo barged in before Jaemin. I guess he wanted something too. Feeling sluggish, Jaemin followed slowly as Seungpyo picked up a carton of chocolate milk.

“You’re buying this, right?”

Jaemin wanted to deny it, but it was true. He nodded once, and Seungpyo muttered, looking at the carton, “Is it good? You really like this.”

“I want coffee, but they don’t sell coffee milk in the school cafeteria.”

Leaving Seungpyo to head to the counter, Jaemin grabbed his own milk. As he approached with his coins, Seungpyo, having already paid and inserted a straw, held out the milk.

“I bought this for you.”

“Why?”

Chocolate milk wasn’t part of their bet, so there was no reason for him to buy it. Jaemin looked suspiciously between the milk and Seungpyo, who simply shrugged.

“Just because? I often buy snacks for people.”

Jaemin knew this. On the day he first properly interacted with Oh Seungpyo after the phone swap, anxious about coming to school, he had run into Seungpyo at the cafeteria.

Seungpyo had paid for his friend’s snacks as well, who had been fretting about having enough money left for the PC room, and then started eating the bread he had chosen for himself. Watching him take a large bite of the sausage-filled bread, Jaemin recalled the endlessly looping GIF of Seungpyo chopping sausages that he had posted on SNS the previous day.

The image of the sausage, clearly phallic, naturally connected in his mind to yesterday’s video. Remembering Seungpyo’s shameless display with that club-like object made it difficult to even look at the sausage bread on display now.

“What are you doing?”

Seungpyo urged him when he didn’t immediately accept the milk. As the first period approached, the student in charge of the cafeteria, sitting behind the counter, was also giving them looks to hurry up. Too tired to refuse, Jaemin took the milk.

They left the cafeteria and walked down the hallway. They should have been hurrying back to class, but their pace was aimless. As they walked, Seungpyo suddenly asked, “Did you think about what I said yesterday?”

The words echoed in Jaemin’s ears, unsure if it was a promise or a threat: I’m going to kiss you tomorrow. Jaemin sipped his chocolate milk through the straw, pondering his reply.

Jaemin’s idea of “kissing on the body” was quite modest. He hadn’t considered anything that would require taking off his shirt. He decided to postpone the decision.

“I haven’t fully woken up yet. Let’s talk at lunch.”

Instead of replying, Seungpyo suddenly grabbed Jaemin’s hand. What? Before Jaemin could ask, Seungpyo flung open a door beside the hallway and pulled him inside.

Jaemin glanced around. It was the empty art room. He pulled his hand away and asked, “What are you doing?”

“We can still kiss normally now.”

“First period is about to start.”

“We don’t have art first period.”

While it was true that art was rarely the first period, that wasn’t Jaemin’s point. He meant they should return to the classroom…

But as Seungpyo’s lips pressed against his, Jaemin lost the will to push him away. His nerves, slightly frayed from lack of sleep, melted away with ridiculous speed at the soft, yielding touch. The warmth of Seungpyo’s body, slightly higher than his own, made him want to just wrap himself around him and fall asleep.

The moment their lips touched, images from yesterday’s video flashed through his mind in a chaotic jumble. He tried to resist by keeping his eyes open, but it was no use. Images of Seungpyo’s naked body beneath his uniform, his healthy, smooth, and toned skin, his large hands and long fingers, his panting breaths as he stroked that log-like object—they all flooded his mind in no particular order.

Oh, what should I do?

An uneasy, anxious feeling, far from pleasant, washed over him, and Jaemin clenched his hidden hand into a fist. His mind filled with flesh tones, and his heart pounded. He wanted to wring his unruly heart and silence it.

His quickening pulse made his breath catch in his throat. As if aroused by Jaemin’s panting, Oh Seungpyo deepened the kiss.

“Hhh…”

Oh Seungpyo’s hand, which usually lingered on his face or neck, now subtly explored below Jaemin’s waist. Even though it was just over his clothes, perhaps due to last night’s events, the touch felt searing, as if it would leave a mark. Despite the saliva pooling in his mouth, Jaemin felt thirsty.

Wet tongues busily explored each other’s mouths. A hot, tingling current, like a mild shock from a science experiment kit, seemed to run down his throat and gather deep in his abdomen.

Oh Seungpyo slowly sucked on his tongue, then released it with a low sigh.

“Your mouth tastes like chocolate.”

Before Jaemin could respond, Seungpyo’s hand slowly slid up his thigh. Jaemin clenched his jaw to suppress any embarrassing sounds.

The kiss ended sooner than usual due to the approaching class time. Yet, his body felt just as heated as always. Even hotter, perhaps. Oh Seungpyo seemed to feel the same, his voice slightly strained.

“Did you check the video right away?”

“Yeah.”

“How was it? Was it good? I’ve never filmed anything like that, so I was curious about an expert’s opinion.”

“What do you mean ‘how was it’? It was ridiculous. You talk way too much while jerking off.”

Jaemin sneered, annoyed by Seungpyo’s attitude, as if he expected praise after sending a 30-minute perverted video. He would take the secret of his own arousal from watching that very video to his grave.

His embarrassment made his gaze wander and his tone grow curt. Seungpyo pressed his fingertips against the area around Jaemin’s nipples, whispering, “It feels this good just kissing, imagine how good Ryu Jaemin would feel if I touched and sucked other places, right?”

“Get your hands off. I’ll think about it myself, you don’t have to keep saying it.”

He quickly shut down the impending nonsense, and Seungpyo narrowed his eyes with a sly smile.

“Let’s do this at Neverland too. It’ll feel even better than at school.”

His tone was more excited than when he had talked about pandas in the classroom. Jaemin blinked and replied, “Neverland? I’m going with Kyungsu and Jincheol there.”

“What? Why?”

“They asked me to go with them.”

“You should have said no.”

Jaemin tilted his head. Was there a reason to refuse? Kyungsu and Jincheol had been his consistent companions in various school activities since the beginning of sophomore year. They often ate lunch together, and recently, they had been studying together in the library. It would be more awkward to suddenly ditch them for the field trip.

“Why not? I often do group activities with them, it’s comfortable and I like it.”

“But this isn’t a school event, it’s a trip to an amusement park. It’s once a year.”

“So what?”

Seungpyo looked disgruntled, as if at a loss for words. He must be speechless. Jaemin found Seungpyo’s words baffling.

At school, they acted as if they weren’t close. However, everyone knew they were aware of each other, being the top two students. Thanks to that, their occasional interactions were seen as implicit rivalry over grades or simply exchanges between high-achievers. It was a fortunate circumstance.

Their secret rendezvous in empty classrooms had to be infrequent enough to avoid suspicion. If they disappeared together too often, and for too long, others would start to wonder.

The current frequency was fine. He didn’t want to lose this hard-won outlet due to recklessness or greed.

While Jaemin was lost in thought, Seungpyo finally found his words.

“Do you know how big Neverland is? We can do whatever we want without worrying about being seen, like at school. It’s such a good opportunity, why would you go with other people?”

“You’ll be with your close friends too.”

“Only at the beginning. We all want to ride different things and see different things, so we were planning to split up into smaller groups later.”

“It’s still crowded. How many students from our school will be there that day? We can’t avoid everyone. People will think it’s weird if we’re alone together.”

“Why would they think it’s weird? We’re classmates.”

“If you ditch your friends and spend the whole day at the amusement park with just me, everyone will find it strange.”

The conversation clarified his thoughts. Oh Seungpyo had many friends and a group he always hung out with. Those were Oh Seungpyo’s friends. Ryu Jaemin, on the other hand…

“We’re not friends.”

They were betting on exam rankings to improve their grades and helping each other relieve exam stress, so if he had to label their relationship, it would be a “strategic alliance.” It sounded grand, but that was the only term that came to mind.

Oh Seungpyo had initially proposed this arrangement based on a mutual understanding: he had sexual needs but found dating bothersome, and Jaemin needed a way to relieve stress. With the added benefits of saving time and being a safe relationship.

Unlike Jaemin, who stated his conclusion calmly, Seungpyo looked stunned. His unwavering stare became increasingly uncomfortable, so Jaemin looked away.

“Let’s go back to the class…”

He was about to suggest returning to the classroom when Seungpyo interrupted.

“If we’re not friends, are we… more than friends?”

“What nonsense. We’re just studying for the entrance exams together. It’s nothing.”

Seungpyo’s brow twitched subtly. A short, heavy silence hung in the air before he curtly said, “Right.”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go.”

Seungpyo abruptly turned and walked away. The air around him, which had been thick with flirtation just moments ago, now felt icy.

Jaemin had only spoken the truth, yet he couldn’t understand Seungpyo’s sullen reaction. It left him feeling strangely uneasy. He rubbed the back of his neck and followed listlessly.

The brief kiss had warmed him, leaving a tingling sensation, yet the atmosphere between them was colder than before they entered the art room. They returned to the classroom in silence, and as Jaemin sat down, he replayed his words in his mind.

Was he offended that I said we weren’t friends?

For Jaemin, “friend” meant more than just “acquaintance.” However, many students used the term loosely, simply for being in the same class, so his words might have been more hurtful to Seungpyo than intended. He had even added, “It’s nothing,” which probably made it worse.

Still, he didn’t want to backtrack and say, “We are friends,” just to appease Oh Seungpyo. What wasn’t true wasn’t true. Oh Seungpyo and Ryu Jaemin weren’t friends.

There was still some chocolate milk left in the carton he had brought back to the classroom. He sucked on the straw, and the last drop gurgled as it was drawn up. As he tossed the empty carton aside, a sense of déjà vu washed over him.

An empty chocolate milk carton on his desk. A similar scene had unfolded last year.

The day his parents had discovered Oh Seungpyo’s hidden phone, the refreshing feeling from the basketball game evaporating like a mirage.

The next morning, after being severely scolded for hours, missing the first period, Jaemin had skipped lunch due to lack of appetite. He spent time in the library, trying to shake off his bad mood, and when he returned to the classroom, a carton of chocolate milk of unknown origin sat on his desk. There was no direct evidence that Oh Seungpyo had left it, but from overhearing other students’ conversations, he could easily guess it was from him.

“Everyone, quiet down and open your books.”

Class had started while Jaemin was reminiscing. He opened his textbook and placed the milk carton at his feet, out of sight. But the intrusive thoughts persisted.

…That day, Jaemin had been consumed by worry. Despite being unable to return the promised phone, he didn’t want to tell Seungpyo the truth about his family situation. Rumors of Jaemin’s strict parents had already spread, but the strictness that other students imagined was a vague, old-fashioned impression.

No reasonable person could imagine parents who would stop their son from going to school because he hadn’t been obedient while being scolded the previous night, forcing him to empty his pockets and explain every single entry in his computer’s usage history.

Jaemin didn’t want anyone to know he lived like that, the object of everyone’s envy. He would rather die than be pitied.

He was trapped. If his father actually checked and returned the phone to Oh Seungpyo, the perceptive boy might realize how Jaemin lived. If Jaemin explained the situation first, he would inevitably have to reveal his family circumstances.

But there was still hope. On the evening after their first basketball bet, Jaemin had briefly felt like he and Oh Seungpyo had become friends.

He decided to rely on that feeling. He harbored a sliver of hope that if he apologized and pleaded sincerely, Seungpyo might listen.

So after school, Jaemin met Seungpyo alone. He planned to lie and say he had lost the phone while cleaning and ask if Seungpyo could continue using Jaemin’s. It was the best he could come up with. But Seungpyo refused, showering him with harsh words.

If he didn’t want to comply, he could have just said no. Instead, he hurled insults, saying things like, Why would I use this dirty phone? and, Did you lose it while whoring around again? Oh Seungpyo’s demeanor was so unexpected that Jaemin was momentarily speechless. At first, he was so taken aback that he almost cried. When he regained his composure, he was furious with himself for even briefly considering this guy a friend.

He was so angry that he saw red. Angry enough to do that in front of Oh Seungpyo.

…Thinking back on it was embarrassing. Oh Seungpyo had sent him a video too, so they were even now, but Jaemin didn’t want to revisit that incident.

Anyway, after impulsively doing that in front of Oh Seungpyo and fleeing back to the classroom, he had found the chocolate milk on his desk. It had been sitting there since lunchtime, when he had skipped the meal. He felt strangely embarrassed and also reluctant to just drink it, so he left it untouched all day.

That asshole, why pretend to care after saying such awful things? Jaemin wiped away the stray tears and returned the milk to Oh Seungpyo’s desk. He had been glad he hadn’t drunk it, even by mistake. He left school quickly before Oh Seungpyo returned.

So, Oh Seungpyo and Ryu Jaemin weren’t friends.

They could kiss, and he might even take his clothes off for the guy who wanted to suck his nipples… But this wasn’t Jaemin’s idea of friendship.

📚

“We’re not friends.”

Ryu Jaemin’s words kept echoing in Seungpyo’s mind even after class started.

He was right. They weren’t friends. What kind of friends kissed all the time and exchanged masturbation videos?

Then what were they? More than friends?

Just as he felt confused, Ryu Jaemin had said they were just preparing for the entrance exams together, that it was “nothing.”

He was right, but it felt strange. They kissed, and he wanted to do other things with him too. But for it to be nothing…

Until now, Oh Seungpyo had only known relationships that fit into neat categories: family, friends, lovers.

What are Ryu Jaemin and I, really?

Oh Seungpyo wasn’t shy about asking questions, but he couldn’t ask his teachers this. Nor his friends. He was lost in solitary contemplation until lunchtime.

“Why are you so quiet today? Something wrong?”

On a day when everyone was in a good mood after the field trip destination was announced, Seungpyo, who had been energetic that morning, had been unusually quiet and subdued since the first period. His friends started to worry.

“Me? No, nothing’s wrong.”

Seungpyo’s father considered leaving food on your plate a sin. Naturally a big eater, and thanks to his strict upbringing, Seungpyo had never left food unfinished.

He always cleaned his plate during lunch, but his troubled mind made him pick at his food today. Returning to the classroom later than usual, he found Ryu Jaemin already sitting at his desk.

He had originally planned to find a quiet place with Ryu Jaemin during lunch and get an answer to the question he had asked yesterday.

If he got a yes, he had planned to unbutton Jaemin’s white shirt, push up his t-shirt, and expose his bare chest like in that old video. He wanted to suck on Jaemin’s nipples, making those little sucking sounds. Until this morning, he had been intensely curious about Jaemin’s reaction.

As for why nipples… he had learned that from the internet perverts who obsessed over Ryu Jaemin. He wanted to be more creative, but Oh Seungpyo was still a high school student with zero sexual experience. He hadn’t seen or learned much, so he relied on others’ ideas.

He hadn’t thought much of it until now. But after dwelling on Ryu Jaemin, imitating those perverts felt dirty.

Wasn’t there something else, something unique to Oh Seungpyo, not something borrowed from someone else’s mind?

“Seungpyo, wanna play basketball?”

Back in the classroom, the other students were making plans for the rest of their lunchtime. Seungpyo had originally planned to decline all invitations. He had things to do with Ryu Jaemin.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

But in his current mood, he didn’t think he could even kiss Jaemin, let alone suck his nipples. Seungpyo left the classroom with his friends, feeling deflated.