EDM 68

His heart began to beat low and heavy. As he met those red eyes coldly looking down at him from about half a span above, he felt a sensation like spines sprouting inside him like a hedgehog.

Kafka unconsciously flinched his fingertips. At the same time, he put on an extremely sharp expression, worried that this incomprehensible emotion might be discovered.

“No matter how much I think about it, I really don’t understand.”

“You certainly seem like it.”

“Being unnecessarily prickly with Medeio, suddenly getting angry… I’m confused. What’s the problem?”

“What’s the problem?”

Soren frowned. He very lightly touched Kafka’s wrinkled brow with his index finger.

“The problem is this situation itself, you glaring at me without even knowing what went wrong.”

“That’s why I’m saying I don’t understand why you’re angry. Explain it properly.”

“Are you serious? Even though I showed it so obviously, you still don’t know the reason?”

How far do I have to kindly explain everything one by one? Soren asked as if it was absurd.

Of course, Kafka was equally dumbfounded. He knew that Soren was showing signs of being upset about something, but no matter how much he retraced his steps, he couldn’t find any part where he had made a mistake.

“Don’t tell me you’re angry because I called Medeio by his first name instead of his surname?”

“What if that’s the case?”

Kafka pressed his forehead. He let out a loud sigh as if for Soren to hear and looked up at him.

“Soren, don’t joke around. Don’t blur the essence with nonsensical talk.”

“You’re the one who’s been missing the point and going off on tangents since earlier. If you have the nerve to question me, why don’t you try thinking? How could I not be angry and endure in this situation?”

So he really is this angry because he called Medeio by his name.

Kafka looked at Soren for a moment with his mouth tightly shut. Still, he couldn’t gauge his feelings. It shouldn’t matter to Soren how he addressed anyone.

“Soren, just speak frankly.”

“……”

“Is arguing about right and wrong important now? More than making up with me?”

At the same time, Soren struck the wall he was leaning against hard. Instantly, cracks appeared in the brick and debris crumbled down.

It was a sufficiently threatening situation, but Kafka’s expression was surprisingly calm. He couldn’t tell how it looked to a third party, but to his eyes, it just seemed like Soren couldn’t control his temper and was throwing a tantrum.

“You’re really going to make me say this much.”

“……”

“You just laughed off someone’s confession, then went around openly hanging out with another guy to the point of calling him by his first name. Could you just let it slide without getting heated if you were me?”

“What?”

“I told you that day. That I came to like you.”

“……”

“I wouldn’t have been angry if you had firmly rejected me. But you just smiled without giving any real answer.”

Whether it meant you’d think about it more, whether it was rejection or acceptance, I was anxiously fretting while you were busy hanging around with that slicky guy.

Soren questioned him with his face bright red. He seemed to hate having to reveal his inner thoughts to this extent.

As for Kafka, he felt like he’d been hit hard on the back of the head. He could only gape and stare blankly at Soren.

“Just following him around was annoying enough to kill me, but what? Medeio? Since when did you two become close enough to call each other by name? Wasn’t it proper etiquette in this country to call people by their surname instead of their name unless you’re really close?”

“No, that’s… it just somehow happened…”

“Whatever happened between you two, I don’t care about that. What’s important to me is that you ignored my confession and were busy flirting with someone else.”

“……”

“I had some fault too, but it took me quite a long time to get to calling you by name, yet that slick guy casually calls you Kafka. And you casually call that bastard Medeio.”

“Soren.”

“So I tried to cool off my anger alone before saying harsh things to you again. That’s all. Now, you tell me too.”

“……”

“Why did you ignore my feelings and just laugh it off?”

“I mean, I…”

His head was spinning. Amid the ringing in his ears, his face burned as if it might burst.

His heart should have been pounding like it might explode, but strangely there was no sensation around his chest area. It seemed to have been beating so violently that it had jumped out beyond his ribs and disappeared.

“I…”

“I?”

“I mean, just, Soren, you…”

Soren bent his head slightly and brought his face close. Even though he could create distance again by taking just one step back, Kafka couldn’t move his body at all.

It was already miraculous that he could even voice a response right now. The fact that he could speak even though his mind had gone so completely blank.

“I thought you were expressing friendship-like affection…”

“How ridiculous.”

“But that’s true, isn’t it? What reason would you have to like me?”

“You know that’s not something to say in front of the person who confessed, right?”

Kafka finally shut his mouth tight. His teeth chattered together making an unseemly sound. Even when Soren had struck the wall earlier, he hadn’t trembled like this, but now his whole body was shivering with chills.

Had joy exceeded its limits and transformed into fear? Or was he truly afraid of this unexpected situation?

“I explained the reasons sufficiently at that time.”

“……”

“I once feared you and hated you, but I said all of that was an illusion. I told you that I came to like you when I realized that.”

“But…”

“On the contrary, what reason would I have not to like you? You’re someone who won’t kill me, and who embraced me saying you’d help if anything happened.”

“That time, that was…”

“That time, that was?”

“Just…”

Like a deflated balloon, all the energy drained from his body. Unable to think of anything more to say, Kafka quietly looked at Soren.

With their gazes meeting, a brief silence flowed. It was too fleeting a moment to sort out clumsy emotions and gather his reason.

Lips briefly touched his cheek and pulled away. It happened unconsciously, but the sensation was vivid. Kafka knew very well what had happened to him. Therefore, he could make no excuse for allowing his lips to be taken again the next moment.

That he was too surprised to push away. That his mind had gone blank so he couldn’t help it… He knew his emotions too clearly to make such convenient excuses and feign innocence.

When he lifted his gaze slightly, Soren’s red eyes were still there looking at him.

“Do you understand now?”

“……”

“What I meant when I said I liked you.”

Kafka nodded very slightly. Both his cheeks were burning red, on the verge of bursting.

Soren seemed quite pleased with that appearance and pulled Kafka into his arms. As he buried his nose against the neckline visible above his shirt collar, he could smell Milenka’s distinctive sharp fragrance.

“If you don’t like it, you could at least grab my hair.”

“……”

Kafka didn’t move at all. He just remained embraced as if buried, quietly placing his hand on Soren’s shoulder blade.

“So what about you?”

“……”

“I like you, but how do you feel?”

Kafka. Soren’s voice settled heavily in his ear. Kafka lowered his head, pressed his forehead against Soren’s shoulder, and buried his face. Even though he was wearing training clothes, he smelled good. That scent heated his entire body with warmth he had momentarily forgotten.

“If we’re talking about whether I like you or not…”

“……”

“Probably… I do like you…”