FIO CH50

Chapter 50: Post-Breakup Syndrome

What? Lu Fangchi reached up to touch his eyes, only to find his hand wet.

Clear, transparent water. Had he cried?

As if he couldn’t believe it, Lu Fangchi raised his hand and wiped with his fingertips, but the more he wiped, the more tears came, until he could hardly see the things in front of him. What was going on? Had his tear glands malfunctioned?

While Lu Fangchi was puzzled, Zhou Zheng hurriedly ran to the coffee table in the living room to grab some tissues, and then rushed back to the entrance hall, slowing down his steps. He pulled out seven or eight sheets of tissue at once, crumpled them in his hand, and hesitated with his mouth opening and closing, before raising his hand to wipe away Lu Fangchi’s tears.

Lu Fangchi blinked, and large teardrops welled up and spilled out of his eyes, his nose tip turning red. Zhou Zheng had never seen him like this before. His eyebrows were tightly furrowed, and his eyes were filled with regret and heartache.

The sensation of the tissue rubbing against his face brought Lu Fangchi back to reality. He turned his face away and walked off. This time, Zhou Zheng didn’t dare to stop him. The sound of footsteps followed from behind; he had caught up.

Lu Fangchi walked briskly straight ahead, stepped into the elevator, and pressed “1.” Before Zhou Zheng could follow, he pressed the close-door button. He frowned and warned, “Don’t follow me.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Zhou Zheng abruptly stopped in his tracks. The elevator doors slowly closed, shutting out his hesitant expression.

Finally, fortune favored Lu Fangchi. After a series of mishaps, he managed to hail a taxi as soon as he reached the building’s lobby. Within five minutes, he was seated in the car, leaving that troublesome place behind.

However, Lu Fangchi’s emotions were still not well-controlled. He felt a burning sensation in his eyes, as if tears were about to burst forth at any moment. Crying in front of Zhou Zheng had already been embarrassing enough; he certainly didn’t want to shed tears in a stranger’s car.

Lu Fangchi’s chest rose and fell slightly as he took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling. He felt a bit better.

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Just a couple of seconds later, his phone suddenly vibrated incessantly with a “buzz buzz buzz” sound. Lu Fangchi glanced down and saw the name “Zhou Zheng” light up on the screen, blurring his vision once again.

This was unbearable. Lu Fangchi rolled down the car window. The evening breeze blowing in his face made his heart feel even more desolate, and he couldn’t hold back any longer.

He pursed his lips and wrinkled his nose, subtly raising his hand to rub the corners of his eyes. Facing the window, he tried to let the breeze dry the moisture there.

The driver in the front seat suddenly spoke up, “Young man, you’ve been dumped, haven’t you?”

Lu Fangchi looked up into the rearview mirror and met the driver’s gentle gaze. The driver smiled with an air of understanding and said, “Ah, if you want to cry, just cry. I can see you’re holding it in, and it’s quite painful.”

Lu Fangchi pursed his lips again, his vision blurring as tears streamed down his cheeks.

The driver nodded and said, “That’s right, it’s better to let it out. Don’t hold it in.” As he spoke, he reached for a pack of tissues from the dashboard and handed it to Lu Fangchi.

Lu Fangchi took it, pulled out a sheet, and pressed it to his face, soaking up the tears.

The driver continued, “Crying is no big deal. It’s just a way to vent your emotions. Don’t feel ashamed.”

These words struck a chord with Lu Fangchi. He did feel a bit out of control, but more than that, he felt helpless. When was the last time he had cried like this? In his childhood? He couldn’t remember. After realizing that crying wouldn’t earn him any sympathy or solve any problems, Lu Fangchi had stopped shedding tears.

…Why was he crying now? He didn’t understand.

The driver went on, “When I was your age, a breakup felt like the end of the world. Just thinking about it made my nose tingle, and I would cry at the slightest provocation.” He chuckled as he spoke, “I was probably in a funk for about a week, secretly wiping away tears in bed every night. You know those bunk beds in dormitories, right? Any movement would make them creak.”

Lu Fangchi’s school had desks below the beds, but he had seen the other type before and nodded in understanding.

The driver continued, “One night, my roommate finally couldn’t take it anymore and asked me if I could just cry it all out at once.”

Lu Fangchi was amused by the driver’s humorous tone and his eyes curved into a smile. After using three sheets of tissue, he managed to steady his emotions.

“Then I had a good, long cry. I wailed so loudly that probably the whole dormitory building could hear me. I cried until I vomited, really vomited, feeling like I was going to throw up last night’s dinner. Thinking back on that experience still scares me, and I haven’t dared to cry like that since. It really did help me cry it all out in one go.” The driver still found it funny to recall and shook his head with a smile, reminiscing about his youth.

Lu Fangchi sniffed and felt that he was almost back to normal, so he started chatting with the driver: “I’m already twenty-eight.” Not a young kid anymore.

The driver’s eyes widened in surprise: “I can’t tell. I thought you were only twenty-two or twenty-three. You look really young.”

It was normal. Lu Fangchi worked in the gaming industry, where he was constantly exposed to new things, keeping his mindset youthful, so he naturally didn’t look old.

“I’m fifty already, getting old,” the driver shook his head and sighed, then added, “But people of all ages cry. You cry when you’re sad, and you cry when you’re happy. There’s no law that says crying is only for kids. Don’t look at my age; I still cry when something happens. I never think it’s shameful. It’s the most cost-effective way to vent emotions, and it always works for me. I don’t know about others, but I usually feel better after a good cry.”

During their casual conversation, they arrived at the destination. Lu Fangchi got out of the car and thanked the driver: “Thank you.”

The driver had seen all kinds of people during his night shifts, and Lu Fangchi’s little bout of crying was nothing special. He nonchalantly waved his hand and said, “Just give me a five-star review.”

“Okay,” Lu Fangchi nodded in agreement.

He walked into the apartment building, took the elevator, scanned his fingerprint, and the door opened with a ding. Lu Fangchi mechanically turned on the light, changed into his slippers, went to the kitchen, poured a glass of warm water, took a sip, put it down, and a deep sense of helplessness washed over him.

He raised his hand and rubbed his chest where his heart was, but it didn’t help at all. Instead, an overwhelming sense of loneliness surged in, threatening to engulf him. He could barely stand.

With unsteady steps, he sat on the sofa and covered his face with his hand. On the thirty-second day after the breakup, after going through illness, major changes at the company, and overtime work, his heart finally had a moment to rest. He belatedly felt the aftereffects of the breakup and the indescribable longing. He realized that he missed Zhou Zheng a little.

He missed that Zhou Puppy who hadn’t regained his memory yet.

A deep sense of helplessness and frustration welled up inside Lu Fangchi. He even began to doubt himself—was he truly incapable of loving? Why did he always offer his heart with sincerity, only to face failure each time? All those emotions he had tried to avoid came bubbling to the surface: the large-sized shoes he no longer saw when he opened the door and changed his shoes; the empty refrigerator and kitchenware; the bathroom countertop with neatly arranged toiletries now missing their familiar companions; the spacious closet in the wardrobe that once held so many clothes; and the handsome face that used to greet him with a morning kiss, which he could no longer see upon waking. The annoying yet alluring scent of green tea, which he had grown accustomed to, was also gone forever.

Lu Fangchi felt his emotions plummeting at an alarming rate, fluctuating wildly and spiraling out of control. He took deep breaths, exhaling slowly to calm himself. Life had simply returned to its original state, just as it had been before. He recalled how uncomfortable he had felt when Zhou Zheng first moved in—everything seemed to come in pairs, and Zhou Zheng’s large frame had taken up so much space.

So, there was nothing wrong with breaking up and returning to his original life trajectory, right?

…Wrong.

I could have endured the darkness if I had never seen the light.

Lu Fangchi’s emotions began to surge violently once again. He felt completely dominated by his feelings, acting like a lunatic who was both crying and making a scene. He even started to harbor resentment towards Zhou Zheng, the love cheat.

What had Zhou Zheng said just now? Gullible? Some previously inexplicable oddities finally made sense at this moment. No wonder.

He recalled the first time Zhou Zheng had asked, “Do you like the old me or the current me?” That was the turning point.

No wonder the well-behaved puppy had suddenly become disobedient.

Sitting on the sofa, Lu Fangchi’s chest heaved heavily, his breathing loud and rapid. The redness in his eyes was so intense it seemed about to spill over. His emotions were completely out of control.

The night was eerily quiet; even the sound of a pin dropping on the floor was clearly audible. The sudden ringing of his phone was jarring.

Lu Fangchi looked down to see “Zhou Zheng” on the caller ID. He didn’t react, letting the screen light up and go dark, light up and go dark again, repeating this cycle seven or eight times until a row of red missed calls appeared in the notification bar.

Seeing that the call was not getting through, Zhou Zheng began to switch to WeChat video calls, sending text messages and WeChat messages, bombarding him with messages.

This went on for about ten minutes, with Lu Fangchi receiving calls from different contacts. Finally, he made a very unwise and uncontrollable move; he raised his hand and threw the phone against the wall.

The phone hit the wall with a “bang,” chipping off a piece of the plaster and sending a few flakes of white dust falling to the floor. The phone fell to the ground, its front and back shattered into pieces.

Finally, there was silence.

Lu Fangchi frowned, belatedly realizing that he could have simply blocked Zhou Zheng’s number to stop the calls. But he dismissed the thought; he had already thrown the phone, and he was too lazy to reflect on his out-of-control behavior. He leaned back and lay down on the sofa.

The ceiling was stark white, with only a single white light bulb hanging from it, devoid of any other decorations. The house was decorated in a minimalist style. Lu Fangchi had a low desire for material possessions and owned very few things. The entire apartment was almost barren of any decorative items. Without Zhou Zheng’s belongings, it felt extremely empty, with very little sense of life and a bit cold.

Was it always like this? It seemed so, but he had never found it so unappealing before.

As his emotions continued to spiral downward, the doorbell rang, “Ding-dong.”

Who could it be? Lu Fangchi didn’t get up. He inexplicably felt it was Zhou Zheng. Besides him, no one else would come to disturb him at one in the morning.

Lu Fangchi had no desire to see him. He rolled over, collapsed into the soft sofa, reached for a cushion, and covered his face and ears with it, as if that could block out everything.

“Ding-dong,” the doorbell rang again, piercing through Lu Fangchi’s eardrums.

Lu Fangchi closed his eyes, trying to ignore it.

“Ding-dong,” it rang once more. The person ringing the bell was very restrained, pressing it frequently but only once at a time, as if imploring the door to open.

“Ding-dong.”

“Ding-dong.”

“Ding-dong.”

The persistent ringing was maddening. What did he want now? Lu Fangchi sat up irritably, grabbed the cushion, and threw it towards the door.

The cushion was soft, and the door had good sound insulation. This act of rage was futile; the person outside wouldn’t feel a thing.

So the doorbell continued to ring, “Ding-dong.”

“Ding-dong.”

“Ding-dong.”

It wouldn’t stop.

It seemed as if the person would keep ringing until the door was opened.

Lu Fangchi was completely at the mercy of his emotions tonight. The incessant ringing of the doorbell added weight to his already heavy heart, and when it reached a certain threshold, he exploded.

With a jolt, Lu Fangchi stood up from the sofa and stomped towards the door. He grabbed the doorknob and yanked the door open very rudely.

Sure enough, it was Zhou Zheng standing there. He seemed not to expect the door to open so suddenly. A flicker of light crossed his eyes, only to be quickly extinguished. His brows furrowed fiercely, and a cloud of emotion that Lu Fangchi couldn’t decipher rose in his eyes.

Not bothering to analyze this emotion, Lu Fangchi blocked the doorway with his body, his hand still on the doorknob. This was a posture of absolute defense against Zhou Zheng entering. He frowned and impatiently asked, “What do you want?”

Zhou Zheng’s mouth moved, as if he was about to speak several times, but he swallowed his words back each time. After much hesitation, he still couldn’t get a single word out.

Lu Fangchi waited for five minutes, and then his patience ran out. He reached back to close the door.

Seeing this, Zhou Zheng quickly raised his hand and grabbed the door frame.

“Let go,” Lu Fangchi said expressionlessly.

Zhou Zheng shook his head, refusing.

“I’ll say it again, let go,” Lu Fangchi’s voice dropped to freezing point.

Zhou Zheng pursed his lips, but his hand didn’t budge an inch.