FOOL Ch 13

Even the lights of the convenience store flickered a faint white, as if the only distinct things in the area were the viper and Woonu’s eyes. We picked out some stuff like cup ramen, triangle kimbaps, and hot bars before paying for the man’s cigarettes and banana milk. After pouring water into our ramen, we sat side by side and gazed outside. Woonu was used to silence, and so was I, but strangely enough, I wanted to talk. Yet again, I called forth the mirativity inside me.

“That wheat noodle place you mentioned earlier, is it good?”

“It appeared on TV.”

“I’ve never had wheat noodles before.”

“I haven’t had it that often either.”

“Must be pretty similar to cold noodles, then.”

“Cold noodles are chewier. Wheat noodles are soft. They’re tender.”

“Which do you prefer?”

Woonu lifted the lids of both our bowls to check if the noodles had gotten soggy.

“I like anything I can eat. It all tastes good.”

“You love to eat, but you don’t eat much.”

Woonu flashed me an innocent smile, patting his stomach.

“I have a small stomach. That’s why I don’t need to eat much, and I won’t starve to death so easily.”

“Says who?”

“My mom.”

Curses nearly flew out of my mouth. I couldn’t help but grow angry with that dead woman. No matter how unstable you are, how could you say something like that to your own child? And what was up with this rascal? Those weren’t words you could repeat with a smile, so it made me wonder just how awful the things he’d grown up hearing must’ve been for him to smile while saying that. Even if you gathered Jesus and Buddha together, would they ever be as gentle as he?

Woonu peeled the wrapper off his wooden chopsticks, splitting them into two neat halves, and placed them on the ramen bowl sitting in front of me. My appetite vanished, replaced by a surge of anger. I snatched the crooked chopsticks from his hands, slurped the noodles, and gulped down the broth, emptying the bowl. Then, I watched as he paused his meal to unwrap the triangle kimbap I’d picked out, offering it to me. Our eyes met, and he smiled—this time, it felt different from when we were in the hospital. What a weird guy, I thought as a dull ache settled in my chest.

“…Thanks.”

“Thank you too, hyung.”

I almost asked what he was thanking me for but stopped myself. If I did, he’d probably thank me for everything I’d ever done.

“If you’re done eating, let’s get a move on.”

Woonu beat me to it, standing up before I could and quickly gathering the empty containers and wrappers. While he scurried over to the trash can to throw them away, I grabbed the pack of cigarettes and banana milk. Forcing food down an unwilling stomach left me with acid reflux.

“Please give me the cigarettes and milk.”

“No need. It’s not like they’re heavy.”

“I’ll carry them.”

“I said no need.”

As we walked uphill, I realized the slope was steeper than I thought. Heavy breaths filled the air. I slowed my pace. Woonu’s arm, swinging with all its might, brushed against the tips of my fingers.

“Oh, sorry.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, a flame burning in my gaze as I turned to glare at him.

“Hey.”

“What is it?”

“From now on, every time you apologize to me, you’re getting a flick on the forehead.”

“A flick?”

“Yeah.”

I had one younger sibling, just once in this lifetime of mine. That was the only experience I had living as the older brother to the gift my parents had brought into the world, a mere twelve years. Whenever Jaehee did something wrong or lost a bet, I would flick her forehead or her arm. Even though I barely touched her, and it was basically all for show anyway, she would put on a pout, puff out her cheeks, and let tears gather at the corners of her eyes as she screamed at me.

Woonu, on the other hand… Even if I landed a blow square on his face, he would still visit me the next day, black eye and all. Because to him, I was someone who had once shown him kindness. Somewhere along the way, I found myself wanting to take responsibility for that fleeting moment of kindness. For the weight of another.

We walked in silence again. It had been a long time since I’d felt the hush of the night while walking. Night strolls in the city varied depending on whether you focused on the solitude or the gloom. The hum of tires on wet roads, a siren wailing before fading into the distance, and banners rustling in the wind. Traces of the night that were sometimes atmospheric, sometimes startling.

I liked solitude. Even when I was with my family. Though Jaehee and I got along well as siblings, I often needed time and space to myself. I wasn’t alone now, but it felt surprisingly nice to walk in silence. Woonu was quiet, but his presence was immense. His silence was tinged with patience and consideration, kindness and sadness. A peace I only ever felt when walking with Woonu.

I tilted my chin up and gazed at the sky. A faint crescent moon hung there, barely discernible to the eye. The wet fog thickened, and occasionally, the passing lights reflected off the water particles in the air. From somewhere in the distance came the sound of a catfight. The city night was neither silent nor dark.

“Ah.”

I looked back at Woonu, who had stopped in his tracks. He was hopping on one foot.

“What are you doing?”

“I stepped on a nail.”

I strode over and crouched down. The bent tip of a nail had pierced through the sole of his slipper and lodged in the bottom of his foot. Even the sound he made after stepping on it was dull—an “ah” almost as dull as him.

“Ha, this is driving me crazy. Can’t you watch where you’re going for once?”

“We can just pull it out, disinfect it, and treat it at ahjussi’s place. There should be some hydrogen peroxide and red medicine there.”

“You mean povidone^[1]? Can’t you see the nail is rusty? You’ll end up with tetanus if you just leave it like that.”

“It’s okay. Go ahead. I’ll follow slowly.”

“Fu—you really know how to get on someone’s nerves.”

I snatched back the curse that almost escaped my lips. Stuffing the cigarette pack into my back pocket, I placed the banana milk on the ground. I turned my back to Woonu and stretched my arms behind me.

“Get on.”

“N-no. I’m fi—”

“Say you’re fine when you’re actually fine.”

“I really am fine.”

“Hey! Are you trying to test my patience? There’s a limit to how considerate you can be of others!”

The sound echoed sonorously. Honestly, even I was surprised at how loudly I yelled.

“……”

“Are you going to keep grating on my nerves, huh? Hurry up and get on my back.”

There was no denying he was heavy. So heavy it left me utterly stumped. Heavy enough to drench me in sweat, and yet…

He was light.

So light it brought me to tears.

“…Fuck…”

I ended up cursing, something I hadn’t done since my teenage years.

Another first, brought about because of Woonu.

Awkwardly perched on my back, Woonu kept shifting his grip around my neck, as if unsure of what to do with his arms. I supported him from behind and hoisted him higher, his body now sitting perched above me.

“You’re going to fall backward. Press your chest against my back and hold on tight to my neck.”

“Aren’t I heavy?”

“Yeah, you’re heavy as hell.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“You’ve just earned yourself a flick on the forehead for later.”

“Please put me down. I can walk.”

“Just let me carry you while I’m still being nice.”

Woonu pressed himself close, his arms tightening around my neck as his breath grazed my cheek. That faint breath was enough to tug painfully at my heart, which had already pitied him once. After just a few steps with him securely perched on my back, the rascal began to squirm.

“What is it now?”

“Doc—hyung, you’re going to get blood on your pants…”

“Fucking hell. Worry about yourself first!”

The curse burst forth like spiky chestnuts tumbling from a basket. That day, in the shantytown, I threw away the urbanity I had tried so hard to hold on to, all because of the pity I felt for Woonu and the simmering rage at those who had turned his life into such a mess. Though he wasn’t much learned and his vocabulary was a bit different from others, Woonu still managed to speak in such an agreeable manner. He seemed like someone who had never cursed in his life, so I felt compelled to do it for him, to sting like a wasp in his place.

His light brown bangs brushed against the back of my neck. The scent of soap tickled my nose. Dial soap, the kind I had started using because of him. Woonu’s scent. Our scent.

“Do you wash your hair with soap? I only saw soap by the faucet.”

“I just use whatever’s there. If there’s soap, I use soap, and if there’s shampoo, I use shampoo.”

“Do you know what that yellow soap by the sink is?”

“It’s dial soap.”

“Are you growing your hair out on purpose? Your bangs are pretty long.”

“No. I just keep letting it grow until it bothers me, then I cut it.”

“To save money on haircuts?”

“Yeah.”

I don’t even know why I bothered asking. His answer was just as frustrating as I’d expected.

I hitched his slipping hips back into place with my arms and leaned forward. He was light, but the sloped path still made it a bit of a strain.

“Aren’t you tired?”

“You should put on some weight.”

“Pardon?”

He tilted his head, puzzled, probably wondering why I’d told him to gain weight right after complaining about how heavy he was. I had actually been about to tell him he was light, but as punishment for not letting me carry him properly and for making me mad, I decided to keep my mouth shut instead. A hand touched my forehead. For a second, I thought the bark of a tree had grazed my skin.

“Your forehead is really sweaty, hyung.”

What a kind rascal. The way he said hyung was like music to my ears, as if he’d called me that countless times before. That kindheartedness slowly wormed its way into my heart.

Woonu’s obstinacy was no joke. Even when I tried to push his head in and get him to sit down, he kept clinging to the top of the car, going on and on about it being a luxury vehicle or whatever. Despite barely having bled, he kept citing that we shouldn’t get blood on an expensive car, so obviously I yelled back at him and made him get in. As I started the engine, I got a call from the man.

“What is it?”

-Why’s it takin’ ya so long to get back from the convenience store?

“What, afraid I’ll just take the kid and drive all the way to Seoul?”

Honestly, if I could do as I pleased, I’d hit the gas and drive straight to Seoul. Just as I was seriously considering it, his low voice made me readjust my grip on the phone.

-Go ahead an’ try, then. But lemme tell ya, the gangsters ’round here are an ignorant lot, none o’ them fancy words like you Seoul gents use. If ya break yer promise, it ain’t just my throat that’s gonna get slit. That scoundrel Hanggu won’t be safe either.

“They won’t send someone all the way to Seoul just to track down one Japanese interpreter.”

-Ya got any idea how much the head o’ the Buyeong faction values his reputation? Smear ink on his face, an’ ye’re as good as dead. As fer Hanggu, he knows a whole heap o’ secrets from interpretin’, so they ain’t lettin’ him walk away so easy.

The higher-up of the crime syndicate I’d interviewed had also hinted, in a way I could barely grasp, that breaking trust would lead to unpleasant consequences. Listening to the man, I realized that even if I brought Woonu back to Seoul, he’d eventually have to return to Busan or Japan if anything happened.

“…He injured his foot, so I’m taking him to the ER.”

-What happened to his foot?

“A nail went through the sole.”

-Just bring him home. Ya can pull it out an’ slap some akachinki^[2] on it. Why bother with the ER?

“I don’t know what akachinki is, but I’m taking him to a hospital for proper treatment. We’ll be back after the ER visit, so don’t worry. I’m hanging up.”

-Hello—

I tossed the phone onto the backseat. Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t used my Bluetooth earphones once since arriving in Busan. What was I thinking, driving and holding calls like that? I glanced over at Woonu, only to find him resting his injured foot on the pile of trash I’d told him not to pick up earlier.

“Open the glove box and grab some tissues.”

Woonu pulled out the tissues, laying them neatly on his palms, then looked at me.

“Why do you think I told you to grab them?”

“Where do you need me to wipe?”

“Ugh…! I’m not the one who needs wiping here. Put it under your foot.”