FOOL Ch 14

The emergency room entrance was swarmed with police cars. Inside, the floor was awash with blood, and chaos reigned as people rushed around in a panicked frenzy. A hospital worker desperately mopped the floor, but the motion only smeared the blood further. Nearby, a young woman hooked up to an IV whispered into her phone, recounting what had happened to her friend. Allegedly, just ten minutes earlier, a tragedy had unfolded: a man had stormed in and stabbed a gangster—already nursing a head wound—a dozen times in the abdomen. The assailant, drenched in blood, fled the emergency room, only to be intercepted by a group of burly men smoking outside. They dragged him into a car, and just like that, they were gone.

The blood-stained hands of a young doctor, their face pale as a sheet, continued to tremble uncontrollably. Death was probably a common occurrence for them, as they worked in the emergency room, but witnessing a living person get stabbed in the abdomen and succumb to their injuries right before their eyes would possibly become one of the most unforgettable events of their life.

Even the police, who had arrived not long ago, seemed overwhelmed as they tried to make sense of the situation. Amid the chaos, an ambulance pulled up, carrying an unconscious child. Woonu and I stood against the emergency room wall, silent and still as we watched the scene unfold.

No sense absorbs information as intensely as sight. Merely arriving ten minutes late to the scene—where a gangster had used a knife to skewer a man’s stomach to the point of no return—was more than enough to paint a vivid picture of Woonu’s future as a traitor. Strangely, though, rather than fearing for my own safety, the danger I might face by being entangled with Woonu, my first thought was how to surmount this situation.

I could guess at a few reasons why I wasn’t afraid. The first might have been that my obsession for life only emerged after I began to feel love for Woonu, so I had little concern for whether I lived or died. Or perhaps it was because I was still wandering in a daze, as if struck on the head by the sheer, shocking pity I felt for this little rascal. It could’ve been that I clung to the hope that someone as kind as him deserved a happy ending. If not, it might’ve been that Woonu was such a fool that he’d somehow turned me into one too.

Finally, someone snapped out of the chaos and noticed us standing there absentmindedly. They pulled the nail embedded in Woonu’s foot, disinfected the wound, and bandaged it. That stubborn guy didn’t make a sound as the nail was removed. He just clenched his trembling fist, his body shaking slightly as he bore the pain in silence.

After getting a tetanus shot and some antibiotics, Woonu turned to me and waved his hands, insisting I didn’t need to carry him now that the nail was out. But when I bent down and told him to wrap an arm around my shoulder and lean on me, he hesitated for a moment before grabbing my forearm instead. A sudden, intense emotion surged through me, a hunch about why he’d chosen to hold on like that crossing my mind.

“Hurry up and wrap your arm around my shoulder, or I’ll carry you princess-style. Do you really want to embarrass yourself here?”

There it was again, that soapy smell clinging to Woonu as he hurried to lean against me, his face pale. I wrapped an arm around the rascal’s waist. For a moment, I thought of giving him herbal medicine to help him gain weight, which was, well, ridiculous of me.

As soon as we got in the car, he apologized for adding to the hospital bill he owed me, so I gave him two consecutive flicks on the forehead. It wasn’t an act like I had usually done with Jaehee—no, those were two very solid flicks. Woonu’s big, clear eyes widened, and he rubbed his now-reddened forehead. I was caught between a rock and a hard place, wondering why I kept thinking of a twenty-four-year-old man as cute. Emotions churned inside me, my mouth clamped shut as I tried to hold back my laughter.

“One flick for when I was carrying you and didn’t have the hands free to do it, and another for apologizing again just now. Go ahead and try saying sorry one more time. Who knows, you might even get a hole drilled through your forehead.”

Woonu smiled silently after hearing my threat. The rascal kept rubbing his reddened forehead, and as I stole a glance at him from the corner of my eye, I felt laughter bubbling up inside me, so I coughed instead.

We were nearly at the alleyway leading to the man’s house when Woonu suddenly slapped his forehead hard enough to make a sharp smack. “Oh, right!”

I think I might have flicked him too hard earlier. Woonu clutched his forehead in pain—the same one he’d just slapped with his own hand—and dropped his head.

“Did you forget something?”

The look in his eyes as he raised his head again was just screaming for help.

“What is it? Just say it.”

“WD…”

“You need to buy some?”

“Yes… I’m so—mmf!”

He covered his mouth with one hand, the other still pressed to his forehead. The laughter I’d been holding back finally broke free. Woonu stared at me, dumbfounded, as I smacked the steering wheel in laughter. When I turned the car around, he slumped back in his seat, looking relieved. We pulled up in front of the convenience store, and he reached to undo his seatbelt, but I pushed his chest back down.

“Stay still. I’ll go buy it.”

As I stepped out of the car and reached for the convenience store door, Woonu called out to me in a voice as faint as a mosquito’s. When I turned, I saw him leaning his arms on the rolled-down window, his face peeking through the gap. I craned my neck and asked loudly why he’d called. His voice dropped even lower as he asked me to buy him banana milk too. I walked back in big strides, bent down, and stuck my head through the window. Woonu shrank back, only his eyes visible as he stared up at me. At that moment, I almost called out, “Woonu-ya.”

Why didn’t I call his name? I should have called him then.

My throat tightened, and my voice came out strange as I asked if he wanted anything to eat or drink. He shook his head, and I reached through the window to pat his hair. It was soft and silky.

As we passed the cathedral, Woonu turned his head back. I glanced to the side, wondering what dejected him.

“Do you want to go to the cathedral?”

“No. I’m not allowed to go there.”

I stopped the car. Woonu watched me cautiously, unsure why I had stopped. With as much care as I could muster, I took the banana milk and lubricant and corrosion inhibitor spray from his hands.

“No one in this world is forbidden from entering a cathedral.”

“But those full of sin aren’t supposed to go. Only good and clean people go to cathedrals—”

“Agh! Fuck—”

I couldn’t help but wonder if I was dreaming, if someone as pitiful as him could truly exist in this world. When I suddenly burst into tears, Woonu panicked and opened the glove compartment. But upon realizing there were no wet wipes or dry tissues, he reached out his hand to my face instead. I grabbed the coarse hand that was wiping my tears and looked up at the rascal. Even the tears falling from those beautiful eyes felt surreal. They trickled down like round beads, one by one.

“Don’t cry. Why are you crying?”

“Hey. Get out!”

I got out of the car and went around to Woonu’s side, opening the door. I crouched down and showed him my back. There was no sound, no movement. Tears streamed down my face, so I didn’t dare turn around.

“Get on.”

“……”

“Let’s go, to the cathedral. Let’s go together. You’re allowed to go.”

Woonu clung to me, his arms wrapped tightly around my neck as I carried him on my back.

Mass had just ended, and people were streaming out. When I set him down at the entrance, Woonu held onto the door and stared inside. Tears—shaped so perfectly they seemed deliberate—rolled from his eyes down to his chin. The faint quiver in his lips spread, trembling through his head, his shoulders, his whole body.

“The cathedral is… really beautiful.”

“Let’s go inside.”

Woonu shook his head hard, his lips pressed tightly together. He stretched out his arms and hopped on one foot—the first time he’d ever asked me to carry him. After seeing his tears, I didn’t say a word. I just scooped him up onto my back.

“Thank you, hyung.”

“See? No lightning struck, right? From now on, if you want to go to the cathedral, walk in with your head held high. Even if you’re not a believer, you can sit in the back, listen to the mass, and slip out quietly.”

“I’m too ignorant to understand a single word.”

“Who says you need to understand everything?”

Woonu didn’t say another word, just pressed his forehead against the back of my neck. His tears were hot and damp against my skin. Even after we got back in the car, he seemed unable to gather his emotions, his arm resting against the window as he stared blankly outside. Overwhelmed by the surge of emotions, he didn’t seem to have the strength to read my mood or reactions.

“With your foot like that, are you still planning to go tomorrow^[1]?”

“I have to.”

The way he spoke made it sound like he simply had homework to finish tomorrow, but beneath his calm tone, there bloomed a wet fog. Tiny water particles, barely visible, only when the light catches them just right. A sorrow that remains unseen unless you look closely. That was Woonu’s life. Do as you’re told. Stop when you’re told to stop. Give when you’re asked. Leave when you’re told to go. I was a witness to that wretched life.