FTE 025

“I want to go, too.”

“Then do it. Open your mouth again. Don’t be so stiff with your tongue.” Then I felt Chae Won-u’s mucous membranes once more. His tongue clumsily wrapped around mine. The sight of him trying to synchronize was funny and damn cute. Suppressing my laughter, I counted down the seconds: 21, 20, 19… 20, 19… 19… Oh. I forgot. Now, I don’t know anymore…

***

Does one kiss change the world? If so, it should’ve transformed multiple times already. Although humanity has decreased to two-thirds of its original size now, nearly eight billion people shared kisses daily before. Even those who didn’t kiss likely had others doing it on their behalf. So, our relationship won’t be altered by just a simple kiss.

I kicked off my shoes with a thud as I entered the room. My footsteps felt heavy. The exhaustion from physical fatigue compounded by emotional turmoil made me feel twice as weighed down.

“I’m going to bed.”

These words barely managed to escape my lips. Half-closing my eyes, I headed towards my room when suddenly someone grabbed my wrist from behind. Turning around, Chae Won-u hastily raised both hands, seemingly flustered by his own action.

“I’m sorry. I almost acted rudely.”

“…It’s also my fault for kissing you when it wasn’t during guidance time, so I apologize too.”

I offered a half-hearted apology since the reason was obvious enough. It became easier to deal with Chae Won-u if I thought of him as a child. Wait, then I kissed a child? Correction. Let’s just consider Chae Won-u… someone who fell from another star.

As I turned away again, Chae Won-u’s expression became extremely sorrowful.

“I know, I know… but hearing you apologize makes me feel strange.”

“…..”

“Like I’m some incredibly stupid bastard.”

“If you’re an incredibly stupid bastard, then that makes me an incredibly horrible one. Got it?”

“Should I stop being honest?”

“No, that’s not what I…” I scratched my head in frustration, then dragged my impossibly heavy body over and pressed my thumb against Chae Won-u’s lips, forcing them upwards into a smile. 

“I’m just asking you to be less blunt. Because sometimes you’re like a truck, Chae Won-u-ssi. It’s overwhelming.”

“I understand.”

“Are you sorry? It’s fine. It’s not a bad thing. Just a different sort of person than I’m used to.”

It felt like trying to conquer a challenging dating simulation game. Isn’t that funny? I’ve never actually played such games before.

I smiled and gently tapped Chae Won-u’s cheek. Maybe it was because he was young, but his cheeks were soft.

“I’m going to sleep now, so you should also rest.”

It sounded like I was repeating his words back, but what I meant was for him not to watch any strange romance videos or have unnecessary thoughts before sleeping.

Looking dejected, Chae Won-u headed towards his room. With a cheerful smile, I waved my hand and said goodnight. Through the slightly open door, Chae Won-u nodded and greeted me with a finger gesture, possibly resembling a sign language farewell. As soon as the door closed, I nearly stumbled back into my room.

“Wow, I’m exhausted.”

Even sitting upright on the bed seemed too much effort. Instead, I collapsed diagonally across it, closing my eyes just to rest a bit. Instantly, I fell asleep.

***

Some days just happen like this. Days when you suddenly jolt awake without anyone disturbing you. Today was one of those days. I literally gasped and sat up abruptly.

Perhaps my painkillers had worn off; not only did my arm ache terribly, but so did my entire body. Feeling uneasy, I stretched out my uninjured arm, properly tucked myself back under the covers, and tried to fall asleep again. It felt ominous, sending shivers down my spine. Groggily, I got up and headed to the living room.

“Hunter Chae Won-u?”

I rubbed my eyes to shake off any lingering sleepiness before calling out his name. Honestly, I half-expected to find Chae Won-u sleeping with water floating around him in the living room. Contrary to my imagination, it was quiet there. Although I didn’t want to interfere, especially invading someone’s personal space like their bedroom, this unease wouldn’t dissipate until I checked on him personally.

“I really hate this.”

Muttering to myself, I cautiously approached Chae Won-u’s bedroom door and felt moisture on it.

“I told you so, that’s why I didn’t want to do this.”

I covered my face with both hands and quietly screamed “Ahh!” This outburst indicated that Won-u must have fallen asleep without taking his medication, allowing all the suppressed issues from before to resurface now. My unease wasn’t due to some sixth sense but rather, a warning based on past experiences.

Turning around, I headed towards the kitchen. Just in case, I grabbed a pot. With one hand holding the pot and the other clutching its lid as a makeshift shield, I used my elbow to gently push down the door handle. Very quietly and carefully, I peeked inside. Initially, I shielded my face with the pot lid, but when nothing happened, I lowered my hand.

“Hunter…? Chae Won-u…?”

I added ‘hunter’ just in case he was awake and would react to being called by his name alone. There was no response. After putting down the pot lid and pot, I entered inside and saw moisture condensed on the light bulbs and windows.

That’s all it was. Chae Won-u wasn’t wrapped up with aggressive water droplets or attacking me. I stretched out my hand and wiped at the window. The moisture came off with a popping sound. Then I put the pot lid and pot on the desk near the window.

Apart from the bed and desk, there was nothing else. Just a few books were placed there. There wasn’t even a bookshelf. It looked like everything was just for show.

As I approached Chae Won-u with empty hands, I heard him moaning. He was having a nightmare.

“Uhh…”

It must have been horrifying, as every time he groaned, large droplets emerged from metal surfaces like window frames and doorknobs. Although it sounded absurd, they looked to me like tears streaming down his face. Despite his dry cheeks and eyes, the room felt suffused with tear-like droplets—a poignant sensation indeed.

“What kind of awful dream are you having?”

I whispered softly, but still, Chae Won-u didn’t wake up. It’s understandable; falling asleep without medication probably wasn’t easy for him. Even during sleep, his body remained tense, plagued by vivid nightmares. So why misuse drugs when there’s a perfectly capable partner-guide available?

I didn’t come here to give lessons or confirm that I was right and feel proud about it. It wasn’t like I was some psychopathic pervert. With my hands in my pockets, I looked down at Chae Won-u before squeezing next to him on the bed. Chae Won-u slept tightly clutching the blanket with both hands like a child, making it difficult for me to take it from him. The air was chilly, but I had to sleep without a cover.

I turned towards Chae Won-u. Despite the cumbersome cast, I managed to place it over his torso while wrapping my good arm around his neck in a hug. Skin-to-skin contact enhanced the effect, so I gently placed my hand on his neck and cheek. Chae Won-u’s gloomy, depressed, and desperate emotions seemed to travel up through the nerves in my fingertips. His heartbeat raced irregularly, causing mine to thump painfully in sync with his chest.

It took some time. I pressed my body closer to Chae Won-u, sharing warmth with him. Our unstable and irregular heartbeats gradually synchronized until they entered a normal range. Meanwhile, my limbs felt cold, and my head became heavy.

“Chae Won-u-ssi.”

I called out to Chae Won-u as his furrowed brow relaxed, complexion improved, and most importantly, his breathing evened out. I held him firmly, keeping his head close to my chest.

“Why can’t you sleep comfortably, even when asleep? You make me worry so much.”

My whispered words made Chae Won-u stir slightly. By then, he had already let go of the blanket. He rolled over and embraced me tightly.

It was just a meaningless gesture—no more significant than seeking warmth by burrowing into a cozy spot. So why did I sigh deeply and wrap my arms tighter around Chae Won-u’s head?

I reached out to touch the wallpaper on the wall ahead of me. It appeared dry with no new water droplets forming. The slightly slippery texture suggested it might be waterproofed. This room had initially been intended for Chae Won-u. Had he always used it alone, even without a guide, aside from the living room? While that wasn’t the life I desired, somehow, it didn’t seem fitting for Chae Won-u either.

“You know how much you make me worry? You’re such a patient.”

I grumbled while roughly stroking Chae Won-u’s neck and upper back. He chuckled softly. Or maybe he was sniffling or talking in his sleep. The nightmare seemed to be over. What kind of nightmares would someone like Chae Won-u, who treated monsters as exploration zones, have?

“I’m not usually curious about people.”

It was time to sleep. It seemed that I, not Chae Won-u, was having strange thoughts late into the early morning. With playful hands, I pulled down my hood cap and closed my eyes. In no time, I fell asleep deeply in the slightly damp room. That day, I dreamed of slowly sinking into a large droplet of water. It was a very pleasant place where breathing wasn’t difficult, and it wasn’t cold either.

***

I woke up naturally due to the sunlight. It was strange that the sun could shine directly through the curtains, and then I remembered this wasn’t my room.

“Ugh.”

I covered my face with both hands. My arms couldn’t be seen. Clearly, I had fallen asleep while holding Chae Won-u but now it was the opposite. Chae Won-u’s arm was draped over my body.