HWAMB — Chapter 28

6. Patience Is Bitter, but Its Fruit Is Sweet

It was still a little early to call it evening when I collapsed onto my bed with a floating, restless mind.

My body was weary with exhaustion, but my heart pounded wildly, as if it had been newly replaced.

Just before entering my room, my older brother—who had come home earlier than usual—seemed to notice I was acting different and asked if something had happened. But since I didn’t yet have the courage to tell him the truth, I brushed it off and pretended nothing was wrong.

He probably already suspected something, but thankfully, he didn’t press further.

Even though the sports festival had ended quite a while ago, my mind was still hazy, as if it had been erased with a rubber.

I even forgot my earlier determination to smack Young-ho’s back for the prank he pulled with the box.

As the events of the afternoon flashed through my head, my face burned hot.

Embarrassment overwhelmed me, and I groaned, thrashing my legs against the blanket that covered me from head to toe.

“If we just get married and stay together forever until we grow old and die.”

The blanket puffed up with my restless kicks, then fell flat again when I finally stopped.

Even now, the words sounded cheesy, but at the same time, my heart raced furiously.

Unable to hide my emotions, I drummed my heels lightly against the mattress.

Pathetic, seriously.

“Wait… does this mean we’re really… dating now?”

With Hyun-woo?

The thought left me speechless.

One thing was certain—we weren’t just ordinary friends anymore.

Shim Hyun-woo, not as a friend… The thought gave me a strange and complicated feeling.

“In the end, I did say I liked him too… There’s no way we can just go back to being friends now.”

I hugged my pillow tightly and fiddled with the acorn Hyun-woo had made for me. Its clumsy, cloudy spots caught my eye more than anything else.

“Fine… If things get weird when we break up, I’ll just think about it then.”

I worried that maybe I’d decided in the heat of the moment, swept away by the atmosphere, but then I remembered Hyun-woo’s words—that he would never leave me.

Hyun-woo never lied. Since childhood, not once had he ever told me even a small lie.

Whenever he made a promise, he always kept it no matter what.

Come to think of it, even back in kindergarten, we promised to always stay together. And now that I thought about it, Hyun-woo kept that promise too.

When my father’s business failed and we had to move, Hyun-woo bawled his eyes out but still followed me all the way to that new kindergarten.

Overlaying our childhood with who we were now gave me a strange feeling. As though much had changed, and yet nothing had changed at all.

Just then, my phone chimed. On the screen was a message from Hyun-woo.

[So… are we Day 1 now?]

The blunt message caught me off guard, and I burst out laughing.

Why was someone who seemed more experienced in dating acting so stiff and awkward? I never expected it.

Biting down on my lip to stop myself from laughing any harder, I noticed the blanket I’d kicked had already slipped to the floor.

Pretending as though I’d never worried at all, I typed out a reply.

[Yeah lol, you happy?]

[Yeah]

[I’m happy too]

It was true that the line between being friends and being lovers was still a little blurry, but I vaguely imagined that soon enough we’d get used to this atmosphere and naturally grow into a proper relationship.

I took out Hyun-woo’s name tag, which I had carefully kept in my drawer, and gazed at it with satisfaction.

After endlessly forcing down and hiding my feelings, finally letting them burst out felt like unclogging my chest—refreshing and freeing.

Smiling to myself, I waited for Hyun-woo to reply, but no matter how long I waited, his answer didn’t come.

Even though the “read” sign had disappeared after I wrote “I’m happy too,” Hyun-woo still hadn’t replied.

“Don’t tell me… he fell asleep?”

Well, fine. Maybe—just maybe—after all the tension today, he’d relaxed too much and dozed off. Thinking Hyun-woo might have fallen asleep, I was about to end it with a simple “good night” when suddenly my phone rang.

Startled by the sudden ringtone, I almost dropped it.

Was something wrong?

I quickly answered the call.

“Hello?”

No response came.

Feeling something was off, I tilted my head and checked the screen again. It was definitely Hyun-woo calling.

“Shim Hyun-woo? Did something happen?”

—Ah… um, no.

I heard a small sigh. Maybe my worried tone had thrown him off, because his voice, low and hesitant, sounded awkward and strained.

I waited patiently until his next words finally came, slowly and carefully.

—It’s… nothing really…

“Mm. Go on, tell me.”

—…

But Hyun-woo fell silent again. Even though he hesitated, stalling as if unsure, I kept waiting with patience.

Maybe I should have suggested a video call.

Not being able to see his face made it impossible to guess what he was thinking, and it was a little frustrating. But at the same time, it was fascinating—Hyun-woo almost never acted this hesitant.

—Good night…

After all that pausing, even taking a deep breath, the only words he managed to say were a simple greeting.

Blinking in surprise, I questioned him silently in my head.

“Huh?”

Since when was saying “good night” something you’d get so embarrassed over? He could’ve just sent that in a text…

“Don’t tell me…”

The moment I realized what he was thinking, my face burned hot again.

Did he really call just to say that?

The sweet silence felt suffocating. I clenched and unclenched my fists, cursing in my head.

“Shit, shit… Shim Hyun-woo, you crazy bastard…”

Coming back to my senses, I realized I was crushing my pillow in a death grip. Only then did I notice how tightly I’d been squeezing it, as if it might burst.

Feeling sheepish, I slowly loosened my arms, though my fingers, clutching the glass acorn, fidgeted restlessly.

—Haa… damn it… this might sound really stupid, but… I just… wanted to hear your voice say good night directly…

Hyun-woo sighed, probably thinking he sounded pathetic. Embarrassed, he quickly added more words in a rush, as though trying to excuse himself.

At his rare display of awkwardness, a gentle smile spread across my face before I knew it. I answered softly, in good spirits.

“Mm. Good night to you too.”

Yeah, I get it. You thought it would sound fine, but the moment you said it out loud, embarrassment hit so hard you panicked inside. I get it, I really do.

Nodding inwardly, I gathered my courage and gave him a reply.

“Dream of me.”

Before hearing his answer, I quickly hung up and lay back on my bed properly.

You said something that made the earth feel like it might collapse from embarrassment, so I’ll balance it out and do the same.

“This way, Hyun-woo won’t feel as awkward.”

A laugh slipped out from my lips, corny and ridiculous.

My cheeks flushed a pale pink. Warmth spread through me, like pride mixed with a mild fever.

If the future me ever recalled this scene, I’d probably kick my blanket all night in regret.

But right now, none of that mattered.

Even though we’d just exchanged the cringiest words possible, the corners of my mouth wouldn’t come down.

It felt like both Hyun-woo’s head and mine were blooming with flowers.

* * *

I let out a sigh as I scribbled aimlessly in an empty notebook at the study hall.

The seat next to me was empty. It was the place Hyun-woo always sat whenever we came together.

Yesterday, Hyun-woo had left early in the morning with his parents to visit his grandmother because of family matters on his mother’s side. At the earliest, he said he’d be back tonight.

But there was still a long time before evening.

“I thought the moment we started dating, a rosy world of romance would open up… but this is harder than I thought.”

Again, I was thinking about Hyun-woo.

I gave up on focusing and shut the notebook. It had already been a week since I confessed to him.

For now, we decided to keep our relationship a secret.

After that accident, my brother had become overprotective, and I didn’t have the confidence to tell him yet. I also didn’t want the whole neighborhood to gossip about it.

Besides, Hyun-woo was already well-known at school. Things would get noisy, and it would only be troublesome.

So we promised to act the same as always at school.

For the first few days, it went smoothly.

But that created a problem. Even when we were alone, not only did we not talk like a couple, we couldn’t even try something small and natural, like holding hands.

“At this rate, this isn’t dating—it’s just friendship.”

I knew. The root cause was me.

If I were as bold as Hyun-woo, not caring about others’ eyes, I would have acted like a lover no matter who was watching, not caring if rumors spread.

I hadn’t been the type to care about that before, but in middle school, when I found out about the ugly, exaggerated rumors about me being tossed around by others, it left me shaken.

As for skinship… well, part of it was Hyun-woo’s shyness, but the bigger problem was constant interruptions.

The first day, my brother, who said he’d be late, came home early. The next day, it was Hyun-woo’s parents. The day after that, our classmates. And then Seo Young-ho, that bastard.

It was like the whole universe was conspiring to stop us—even hugging or holding hands, let alone kissing.

“Should we just go somewhere no one knows us and go on a date?”

The thought came suddenly, but it wasn’t a bad idea. I pulled out my phone and began searching for places. Since it wasn’t vacation yet, it couldn’t be too far.

Either a crowded spot or someplace completely quiet would be best.

“Escape rooms are surprisingly popular.”

I had always wanted to go with Hyun-woo, but every time, I shook my head and gave up.

Closed, cramped spaces still scared me. As long as there was a small window, or if it was a wide place like a movie theater or auditorium, I could handle it. I had tried a few times, but always failed.