HWAMB — Chapter 30

“This isn’t good. I’ll call a taxi.”

He said that, then helped me walk, pulling up the hood of my summer cardigan and calling a cab.

The taxi arrived quickly, and Hyun-woo urgently gave the driver our address.

I couldn’t think straight. Whatever Hyun-woo said beside me, it all blurred into muffled noise in my ears.

My body burned, I was dizzy and nauseous, but strangely, being close to Hyun-woo made it bearable.

Though the hazy, floating feeling wouldn’t leave.

Slumped against Hyun-woo’s shoulder, I felt his arm wrap around me. My vision was too blurred to see his expression, which made me uneasy.

“Is this… heat?”

The omega heat I had only heard about in sex ed, in media, or from friends’ stories.

It was said to start as early as middle school, or as late as high school. If this really was heat, then mine was very late.

When heat struck, even omegas with weak scents released strong pheromones. Dominant omegas could usually control their pheromones, but during heat, neither dominant nor recessive could help it.

Even through the throbbing pain, another worry took over.

“What if my pheromones are bad…”

I had heard of it before. Two people who were inseparable at first, but when their pheromones didn’t match, their love faded.

Some even fought and broke up out of disappointment.

I carefully lifted my head to see Hyun-woo’s reaction—and froze.

It was an expression I had never seen before. Terrifying.

Quickly, I turned away.

This was bad. Really bad.

“So they must be bad.”

Yeah, maybe because my scent was always faint, I never realized—until now.

Alphas who smelled an omega in heat were supposed to be overwhelmed with lust, unable to control themselves. But Hyun-woo showed none of that.

It made my brain cool with reason again, but my body—clueless and rebellious—only burned hotter, consumed by desire.

Shit. Nothing was going right.

Shrinking back, I tried to pull away from Hyun-woo’s shoulder.

But he caught me and pulled me back.

“…Eun-jae, stay still.”

His clenched teeth made his voice stiff and hard. His grip on my shoulder was so strong it hurt.

Was this something to be so angry about?

Just because of the biology I was born with, everything had to change like this.

The injustice of it, mixed with Hyun-woo’s coldness, made me suddenly feel miserable.

Tears welled up and spilled down my cheeks.

I wasn’t someone who cried easily, but now, from nothing more than frustration and hurt, they wouldn’t stop.

They said it was harder to control emotions during heat. It must be true.

Startled by my tears, Hyun-woo’s eyes went wide.

“What’s wrong? Does it hurt a lot?”

Shit, my throat was so tight no sound came out.

Even when I fell from the top of the jungle gym in kindergarten, even when I slipped on the stairs in middle school and nearly cracked my skull, I hadn’t cried like this.

Except when my parents died, I had never once cried like this in front of others, no matter how unfair or painful things were.

Now, worried I’d only make incoherent noises, I just sobbed silently. Hyun-woo’s voice grew even more rigid.

“I’ll pay the speeding fine too, just please drive faster.”

The driver looked troubled, but after seeing me sobbing beside him, he must have thought my condition was serious. He nodded firmly and pressed the pedal.

* * *

In the end, Hyun-woo never told me how much he had paid for the taxi.

We arrived home in the blink of an eye.

Before going inside, Hyun-woo asked me for the passcode, and I struggled to give him the numbers one by one.

After opening the door, Hyun-woo carefully led me to my room and laid me down on the bed. I looked up at him, panting.

Though I had seen him for years as my childhood friend, the expression on his face was one I had never seen before—and I couldn’t read it at all.

Without even looking at me, Hyun-woo said,

“Why do you keep crying, huh? Your eyes will swell.”

If he had looked at me when he said it, I would have taken it as something gentle. Instead, I wrapped myself tightly in the blanket to hide my body, aroused against my will.

Shameful emotions, as if it were only me feeling this way, swept through my mind like waves. Not being able to tell what he felt made my bundled anxiety grow even bigger.

What a disastrous day it had turned out to be.

Just earlier at the movies, the mood had been so good…

“…You can go.”

“Go? Right now?”

“Yeah. You don’t have to stay here against your will.”

“I’m not staying against my will.”

“Don’t lie. Then why did you make that face before?”

As the conversation went more and more astray, Hyun-woo finally looked at me. His face showed obvious bewilderment.

“What face?”

“That really… scary face. Like you hated it.”

“…Me?”

Hyun-woo asked back, stunned. The atmosphere grew stranger.

When I nodded slowly, on the verge of tears, Hyun-woo froze in shock.

He pressed his lips with a grave look, then finally spoke.

“…Was it… really scary for you?”

His voice softened, as if he was trying to be careful. With a damp voice, I answered,

“Yeah.”

“So you weren’t crying because something hurt?”

“…Yeah.”

“……”

Hyun-woo silently touched my forehead. A long, heavy silence passed before he began to explain.

“Ha… fuck… I’m sorry. But it’s never—never—that I suddenly hated you or anything. That’s impossible… This is just… it’s me. The problem’s with me.”

“…A problem?”

“…I was scared you’d think I was a perverted bastard.”

He covered his eyes with both hands as he spoke. I stared blankly, then let my gaze fall down toward his lower half.

His pants looked ready to burst, straining with a bulge that greeted me shamelessly.

I nearly hiccupped in shock but barely held it in.

“W-when did it get like that…”

“…I was holding back, but after you squirmed in the taxi earlier, it ended up like this.”

“…So the reason you couldn’t look me in the eye and kept your face stiff was…”

“…I was trying to hold it in. I was singing the national anthem in my head up to the third verse.”

“…Then it’s not that you hated me?”

“Do you seriously think someone would get hard for someone they hate?”

I was left speechless.

So that cold voice telling me to stay still, that blank expression, that frightening face I had never seen before—

It had all been Hyun-woo desperately suppressing his alpha instincts.

He had never experienced feelings like this either, and didn’t know how to control his expression. He apologized for making me anxious.

Thank god. It was all just a misunderstanding.

Relief washed through me, and my body relaxed. Seeing me like that, Hyun-woo nervously brought me a glass of water.

Even though I had taken my suppressant, the fact that heat had come meant the medicine had a problem, so going to the hospital would be the most accurate solution. But in this state, leaking pheromones everywhere, I couldn’t exactly go out.

Hyun-woo just fidgeted with my hand, unable to come up with a better idea. I curled deeper under the blanket, forcing myself to calm down.

“Should I call your doctor…”

“No, that’d be too embarrassing. I don’t want that.”

I felt feverish, dizzy, nauseous, but compared to what I’d heard heat was supposed to be like, mine seemed weaker.

It didn’t feel dangerous enough to call it a health risk, and I didn’t want to show this side of me to anyone.

Of course, like Hyun-woo, I was also uncomfortably aroused below.

“But still… he said he was singing the anthem inside, yet he’s holding up pretty well.”

I glared sideways at Hyun-woo and asked carefully,

“You’re not struggling? I’ll be fine, so if it’s too much… you don’t have to stay.”

“How could I leave when you’re suffering?”

“You know when an alpha and omega are together during heat, it only makes things worse for both.”

“Even so…”

Then Hyun-woo suddenly let out a small “ah,” as if struck by a good idea, and rummaged through his suitcase.

From it, he pulled out a fresh white shirt.

“Here.”

“…A shirt?”

“They say that when omegas are in heat, if they have something that carries their alpha’s scent—like clothes—it’s better than nothing.”

I accepted the shirt he handed me.

When I hugged it tightly, comfort seeped into me almost immediately.

When Hyun-woo asked if I felt better, I only fiddled with his shirt, unable to give a clear answer.

After a moment’s hesitation, I reached out my hand toward him.

“Want more?”

Hyun-woo looked puzzled as he asked back. Hugging the shirt, I nodded slightly.

That was the good thing about childhood friends—they understood each other so easily.

Hyun-woo rummaged like a raccoon and handed me more clothes from his suitcase.

I hugged them all at once and collapsed back down.

My head grew hazy, like I was sinking into a dream. I didn’t know who had told Hyun-woo this trick, but it was surprisingly effective.

“…Do you want more?”

At his suggestive question, I buried my face deeper into his clothes and nodded.

After taking a few deep breaths, Hyun-woo began handing over every clean piece of clothing he had packed, like a tree giving away its leaves.

I vaguely heard his muttered thanks toward his father for packing so many, but let it pass in one ear and out the other.

Before long, the area around my bed was piled high with Hyun-woo’s clothes, forming a nest that surrounded me securely.

I stared absentmindedly at the suitcase, still holding the clothes he’d worn, but Hyun-woo refused to give those, saying they weren’t clean.