IBMBKC Ch 1

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#001

“Our Yua~ Did you enjoy your meal?”

“Yes.”

“Then, shall we get ready and go to kindergarten with Mommy now? Your friends said they were really upset because Yua didn’t come for a whole week.”

Jeonghye, the woman with her hair twisted up and clipped with a hair claw, lifted Yua up into her arms. Ever since he got sick, he kept getting interested in doing house chores, so lately, she had unintentionally been playing a game of nerves with her own child. Afraid he might start paying attention to the empty dishes, Jeonghye quickly put him down from the chair.

“Mom, then should I go wash up now? If I don’t get ready now, I think I’ll be late for kindergarten…”

The child looked up at Jeonghye with a clear, bright face as he asked. Jeonghye looked at the small hand lightly tugging on her clothes and said, “Mm. You want to? Then, while Yua washes up, Mommy will iron your kindergarten uniform.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Tap tap tap. The sound of his little feet grew faint, and soon the sound of water came from the bathroom. Jeonghye let go of the smile she had been forcing and let out a small sigh. Was it really okay to send him?

Just thinking about how last week she and Juhyeok had rushed to the emergency room in the middle of the night with their child burning up at nearly forty degrees still gave Jeonghye goosebumps all over her body.

No matter how much antipyretic they gave him, the fever would not go down, and the doctor kept repeating that he didn’t know the cause like a parrot. Meanwhile, Yua couldn’t even open his eyes for two whole days. The severity of the situation was obvious from the fact that Juhyeok, who had never once cried since they started dating, burst into tears as he wiped the cold sweat from Yua after coming home from work.

Thankfully, on the third day, he suddenly became perfectly fine as if nothing had happened, and they were able to leave the hospital…

“Just leave it. I made the mess, so I’ll clean it up. I’m really not sick anymore, so Mom and Dad can go to work now.”

“Um, Jeonghye….”

“…Yeah, Oppa. I think so too.”

For heaven’s sake. What kindergartener cleans up the toys he scattered himself right after being discharged from the hospital? Yua was the same child who, just that morning, had cried as if the world were ending and rolled all over the living room floor because they didn’t dare place his favorite X Roro chopsticks on the breakfast table.

Jeonghye and Juhyeok immediately crouched down, picked Yua up as he gathered his toys, and headed straight back to the hospital. The MRI results were, unfortunately or fortunately, entirely normal, and even after checking twice more just in case, the results were the same. If Yua hadn’t grown fussy from the endless tests, Jeonghye was certain they would have stayed at the hospital the entire day.

They had come home clutching test results that said he was perfectly normal, all within half a day at the hospital. Unfortunately, that was not the end of Yua’s strange behavior.

“Dad, can I read the book in your study?”

“Once I tried it, I realized even eggplant tastes okay. I’m past the age of being picky now.”

“Uh… I t-think I learned English at kindergarten… Maybe…”

He wouldn’t even glance at the toys he used to love playing with. He couldn’t even fully read Hangul, yet he brought Juhyeok’s academic books and flipped through the pages with a serious expression. And overnight, his picky eating had vanished. 

When they called the kindergarten, they said they had never taught the kids English. Honestly, there were so many things that were so incomprehensible that it was sometimes frightening.

What if he was still sick and she simply hadn’t noticed? What if he collapsed again? What if she failed to notice it early, like last time? Her thoughts kept spiraling into negative possibilities without her realizing it. Whenever that happened, Jeonghye forced herself to calm down by recalling the doctor’s words.

“Well, among patients who have experienced a major accident or trauma, there are rare but existent cases with aftereffects similar to Yua’s. Like suddenly being able to speak a language they never learned. Or having a sudden personality change.”

He said that the things Jeonghye feared would not happen. But even if the doctor was wrong, there was no way for her to know, so she had no choice but to believe him. It was also partly because she desperately wanted to believe that.

In any case, she had kept him at home for a week because she worried that his condition might worsen again while he was at kindergarten, but the doctor had said he might gradually get better if he lived his daily life as usual. She could not just keep him confined in her arms forever. In the end, after spending the weekend agonizing together, Juhyeok and Jeonghye finally decided to send their child back to kindergarten. 

…Should I just say he will rest until the end of this week after all?

Even if the child changed, he changed far too much. They knew he was perfectly fine, yet worrying was something parents could not avoid.

Jeonghye held her phone, turning the screen on and off over and over, then let out a brief groan and shook her head. No matter how she thought about it, keeping him cooped up at home like this seemed worse. If it came down to it, she could even take parental leave or quit altogether and stay by Yua’s side all day. Deciding to trust Yua, she went into the room to iron his kindergarten uniform.

“I’m f*cked.”

At that moment, Yua muttered as he stood in front of the sink with the water running.

“How is the sink still this high even though I climbed onto the stool? Seriously, is something wrong with me?”

Yua tapped his chest with his small hand, saying his dignity was ruined. Then he realized the sound was not the familiar “thud thud” but something closer to “tap tap” or “puff puff”, and he quietly lowered his arm.

During the full two days he had been sick, Yua had truly thought he might die again at that rate.

Exaggeration or not, his body swung between burning like he had been thrown at the equator at midday and freezing like being hurled naked into the center of Antarctica. His head felt like it was splitting from the nonstop flood of memories. Even though he had not eaten for two days, he did not feel hunger or thirst at all.

And then to realize that the whole commotion had started because of that little kid he encountered at the playground last week. Yua’s shoulders trembled.

Pop!

“Ah!”

With a cute sound, a pair of small ears popped out atop his head and twitched. Judging from the tickling sensation on his calf, his tail had come out, too.

Soft white fur with dotted black patterns. Yes. Bae Yua, seven years old this year, was… a snow leopard beastman.

I am a beastman. A beastman!

Impossible. Yua screamed internally.

What was a beastman? Wasn’t it a novel setting bundled with universes like Esper–Guide or Alpha–Omega that had been popular for a while and then quickly faded?

“Ah.”

Right. This was inside a BL novel. Yua grabbed his head.

It was shocking enough to die and reincarnate, but to reincarnate specifically into a BL novel. The world could not possibly be this cruel to Yua.

And the kindergarten scenes only show up briefly in flashbacks!

If he were going to reincarnate as a completely irrelevant extra not even mentioned once, wouldn’t it have been better to reincarnate as the protagonist’s pet instead? At least that was what Yua thought.

…He really should have fixed the habit of reading anything his younger siblings recommended, regardless of genre or theme. Yua cursed his past self. He should have just read a peaceful novel about moving to the countryside and farming.

If it had at least been fun to read, it wouldn’t feel so unfair.

To Yua, web novels were something he read briefly before bed because he couldn’t ignore his siblings’ sincerity. Their effort to care for him, who had no real hobbies, was touching.

But if he had known it would turn out like this, he should have stopped them from recommending anything at all. No, he wouldn’t have even told them they could live with him until they saved enough money to move out.

“Out of all the books, why did it have to be BL, ah…”

Yua was, without a doubt, a heterosexual who was attracted to women. If reading BL made a person like men, then people who read novels where someone transmigrates a monster would all become monster-sexuals? 

After venting to no one in particular, Yua finally returned to reality and tried to recall the plot of that novel. What was the plot again?

[Perhaps it was because the scenery reminded him of the time he once watched heavy snowfall with his grandmother. Louis looked at the white snow falling outside the window and gently stepped outside. Back then, Grandma even made warm cocoa for me. The marshmallows she put on top were delicious, too. Remembering the sweet taste, Louis smacked his lips lightly. It was not just that. On snowy days like this, Louis used to go out with the village children carrying sleds. After playing to his heart’s content and returning home, the melted snow would make his clothes sag, and when he washed up with warm water and came out, his mother would dry his hair and give him cookies in his hand. Louis looked down at his feet. They were still small and ordinary, no different from back then. As far as he could tell, they were no different from when he had lived in Germany. What is the problem? Since coming to Korea, Louis had often lain alone in bed at night and thought. What did I do wrong? Why does everyone avoid me? Louis was certain that something must be wrong with him. Otherwise, the children would have no reason to shun him. It had been the same in Germany. Whenever conflict arose, the teacher would tell the children to think about what they had done wrong, even if they believed they were not at fault. The teacher said that actions done without any ill intent could still hurt someone else. So Louis wondered. Did I hurt the other kids? Even when he searched his memories, nothing came to mind, so Louis created reasons for himself. I didn’t give my snack to the friend who cried because he wanted more snacks yesterday. When he knocked down the castle I was building because he wanted to play with the blocks, I got upset and cried… But that was not his fault, was it?  Then why would the kids not play with him? …He still did not know. Korea was difficult for Louis in many ways. Snow falling from the sky was quietly piling up, turning the ground white. Louis stared blankly at the scene, then looked around. Snow had gathered on the swings. Beyond the kindergarten fence, he could hear children laughing as they had a snowball fight. Because he had been standing still for so long, there were no footprints around where Louis stood. No one had come near the area while the snow was piling up. Yes. No one had come near him. The low fence of the kindergarten felt as if it were drawing a line, saying ‘You can never be part of that,’ and for some reason, Louis wanted to go home more than usual today. He didn’t want to just wait endlessly alone for his mother and father like this. But rather, like before, to play at a friend’s house and return while holding hands with the parents who came to pick him up. Louis missed home. “Hueeeng…! I-I don’t like it here…” “Hey? Why are you outside? It’s cold. Are you here all alone?” “…!” Alone. He knew he was, but that did not mean he wanted someone to confirm it. Tears filled Louis’s pale green eyes. Startled, the boy hurriedly climbed over the fence and approached Louis. –Later, Louis would recall this day as one when he felt as though the world had come to him.]

“…Ah, he is pitiful, indeed.”

When a child thinks like that, most of the responsibility lies with the adults. They had neglected him enough that he blamed himself despite doing nothing wrong. Memories like that had a high chance of turning into trauma in one way or another.

Nightmares did not discriminate by nationality or age. Yua stared at his own reflection in the mirror, then closed his eyes.

Even so… there was no need for him to get involved. If left alone, Louis would eat well, live well, and everything would turn out fine anyway.

There’s no way he’ll be unhappy. The best strategy is not getting tangled up.

The most useless worry in the world was worrying about a chaebol. In that sense, the main top and main bottom, chosen by the author and backed by the world itself, were no different from holding vibranium spoons^[1]. Who was he to worry about whom?

Yua could roughly recognize the face… And the name… well, he knew that too from the book. But worrying about the main bottom felt no different from some country bumpkin seeing a world-class billionaire on vacation and pityingly offering him a thousand-won bill as charity.

The two main characters were destined to have events unfold smoothly according to the original story and reach their happy ending no matter what. Meanwhile, a minor extra like him had to fend for himself and earn his own meals. From the very beginning, the balance was completely broken; they weren’t even in the same league.

So again. Now then, who was truly pitiful?

Yua made up his mind. He would not even step on the shadow of the main bottom or the main top.