ICYM Ch 15

Episode 15

“You know, I keep thinking you’ll do just fine on your own, but then I get so worried about you that I can’t help saying something.”

“…Yeah.”

“I know how ruthless mafia families can be. They don’t show mercy to the weak. They ridicule them.”

Sunbae wore a sorrowful expression as if there was a story behind it.

He kept his mouth shut, not seeming to want to talk about it. I might’ve been curious if I hadn’t already known the reason, but thanks to the loud potato squad that didn’t understand even the “P” in “privacy”, I already knew what had happened.  

Didn’t they say he once wandered into a mafia territory by mistake and got beaten up badly?

I wanted to say it was a miracle he got out of it with all his limbs intact, but if I said that now, I’d obviously come off as someone completely lacking empathy, so I kept my mouth shut.

It must’ve been a deep humiliation for Sunbae, as he gritted his teeth.

“I really hate them. Those violent gangs. Just having them in the same dorm makes my skin crawl.”

So that’s why he hates Kendrick even more. His lingering emotions from what happened in the past explained the excessive intensity of his current feelings.

“Yeah.”

I slowly nodded, offering a noncommittal response.

“I’m sorry. Once I’m sure, I’ll talk to you about it again. I didn’t mean to confuse you.”

“Okay.”

Sunbae soon regained his composure and apologized with an awkward expression. Maybe he thought that if he said any more, it would be too much, so he neatly wrapped up the conversation.

“Doesn’t feel like we’ll be able to study in this mood anyway.”

“Yeah.”

The atmosphere had definitely grown unsettled.

But what if I pulled out my test with a score of 29?

Tension would creep back into the loosened atmosphere.

Just as I was about to pull out the test paper, Sunbae scraped back his chair and suddenly stood up.

“Want to grab breakfast first and study after?”

He looked at me as if to say, ‘Doesn’t that sound like a good idea?’, and I ended up standing with him before I even realized it.

“…Don’t you usually eat with your friends?”

“They’re probably still asleep.”

On weekends, the bell didn’t ring, so a lot of students skipped breakfast. Now that I thought about it, unless the potato squad had plans, they probably wouldn’t wake up early just to eat breakfast on a weekend.

“Oh.”

“Aren’t you hungry?”

I glanced at the time. It was 7:45. Breakfast was served between 8 and 10.

“Well, I am hungry… But is it okay to go now?”

“They usually have things ready about 10 minutes early.”

“Really?”

“Then let’s go eat and study after.”

Sunbae took the lead, and I naturally followed him. When we were about halfway down the stairs, Sunbae suddenly stopped, as if something had just come to mind, and looked up at me.

“And Hayden.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t mind helping you study, but…”

Sunbae paused for a beat, choosing his words. In that brief moment, a thousand thoughts raced through my head.

Did I act like I was treating him as my private tutor?

Or… did he see the score on my test paper that I left on the desk earlier?

“…Um…”

“I was hoping we could meet up sometimes… Not just for studying.”

Sunbae spoke with his head lowered. Though his face was hidden, his ears, now flushed to match the color of his hair, made it pointless to hide his expression.

I was momentarily flustered. It was such a blunt statement that even someone dense could have read between the lines.   

Does it mean what I think it means?

Up until now, I’d never sensed any subtle nuance like that.

Caught off guard, I knew I had to say something, anything, but my mind went completely blank and I just stood there stammering like an idiot.  

Sunbae, who had been lowering his head, slightly covered the lower half of his face and looked up at me, as if curious about my expression.

Our eyes met mid-air.

“Do you not like it?”

“No… I mean, I do.”

“If we were just acquaintances, I wouldn’t have been that worried earlier.”

“Huh?”

It wasn’t something I could just laugh off as my misunderstanding. Sunbae’s words caught me off guard, and I bit down on my lower lip in confusion.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you.”

“……”

Sunbae didn’t seem to expect an answer. Rather than waiting for me to respond, he brought the conversation to an end.

“Just… wanted you to know. That’s all.”

Then, as if nothing had happened, Sunbae continued down the stairs.

Now that I thought about it, wasn’t I naive to think that someone getting involved this much and taking the time to help me study despite being a senior preparing for university, had no intentions whatsoever?

If I said I didn’t like him here, would that be the end of it?

Unless we intentionally made plans to meet, the only connection we had was living in the same dorm.

* * *

It was a smart choice not to join the weekend activities, using the excuse that I wasn’t feeling well.

After Sunbae’s unexpected words, I was so out of it that I couldn’t even tell whether the food was going into my nose or my mouth. Even during the morning study session, I kept replaying what he had said.

Later, with my head aching for entirely different reasons, I barely touched my lunch and lay down on my bed. That’s when Owen, apparently deciding it was time to repay his debt, started fussing over me excessively.

Owen came up to my bed and asked in a worried voice, “Should I take you to the hospital?”

“You’ve got your weekend activity soon, don’t you?”

Wasn’t it kayaking this time?

“…It’s not like I have to go.”

He looked ready to skip it altogether if I so much as hinted at wanting him to stay, so I quickly waved my hand to stop him.

“No, it’s not that serious.”

“…But you don’t look well.”

He hovered around me like a whining puppy. It felt a bit ridiculous to keep acting prickly toward someone like that, so I softened my tone. 

Had I been too on edge just because he was the female lead’s younger brother?

It was actually pretty hard to figure out the right distance to keep.

“You’re worried about me because I helped you back then, right? But really, it wasn’t a big deal. You don’t have to feel so obligated.”

“In my family, our motto is to pay everything back tenfold.”

Owen struck a fighting pose with a serious look on his face. I now fully understood that he hadn’t heard a single word of my previous refusals.

“……”

At my silence, Owen seemed to catch on to what I was thinking and quickly waved his hands.

“But that’s not why I asked just now. Not to pay you back or anything.”

“Then?”

“As your roommate, I can at least worry about you, right?”

His answer, so casual and matter-of-fact, hit me like a sudden slap of clarity.

“…Really?”

Are kids always this soft? After only seeing seniors in high school who studied all day, every day—weekday or weekend, day or night—is this what happens when school ends at 4 and weekends are filled with fun activities?

Then suddenly, what happened earlier came to mind again.

Don’t tell me that was just my misunderstanding too?

Did I go and get all serious about something that was just a casual invitation to hang out? Is everyone really just soft and sweet, like the title of the novel I transmigrated into?  

Maybe everyone’s just… sweet and soft, like a slice-of-life story.

“Should I pick something up for you on the way back?”

Still eager to be helpful, he looked at me expectantly. I waved my hand.

“No, it’s really not that bad.”

“Really? Okay, then I’ll get going.”

Thankfully, Owen didn’t insist any further and left the room. Left alone, I placed a hand on my forehead and let out a quiet sigh.

Kendrick, Sunbae, and the 29-point test paper were all swirling around in my head.

* * *

“They say it’s a bit chilly this morning.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it rained last night apparently.”

Owen, who had been hesitating for the past ten minutes like he had something to say, finally opened his mouth.

I had no idea why it took him that long just to talk about the weather.

“Thanks for letting me know.”

Maybe he thought we’d grown a little closer after our last conversation, because as soon as I replied, his words came spilling out.

“You might still have a bit of a cold!”

Just like Owen said, the morning air was quite chilly when I stepped outside.

Most of the students I saw on the way to school were dressed warmly.

I was no different, wearing a jumper under my blazer like everyone else.

But by afternoon, once the sun came out, it got uncomfortably warm.

By the time school ended, I was walking out of the building with both my jumper and blazer draped over my arm.

Ahead of me, I spotted Kendrick walking out.

His wheat-colored hair shimmered in the sunlight, his solid frame visible beneath his shirt, and his posture was upright.

He seemed to be walking at a relaxed pace, but because of his height, he was suddenly far ahead before I realized it.

I picked up my pace and clenched both hands into fists.

The ground that had been wet in the morning was mostly dry now, but I still avoided patches of piled-up leaves and puddles.

If I had to pick the easiest of the three issues to deal with, without a doubt, it would be Kendrick Bardi.

Honestly, the best thing to do would be to stop caring.

It’s not like I’m Detective Conan or something.

Rather than poking my nose in, leaving it to the police would be the smart thing to do.

But why did I still feel the need to step in? Even I didn’t know the answer to that.

Maybe it was because I worried about the cat. Or maybe because I couldn’t be sure Kendrick was really the one.

And maybe it was because pretending not to know didn’t sit right, not after we’d shared all those sweet snacks together.

That didn’t mean anything had progressed, though.

Even though Kendrick always said he’d let me know before he came, he hadn’t skipped a single day this past week.

When I entered the garden, Kendrick had arrived ahead of me and was rolling up his sleeves as he organized the styrofoam boxes.

“What are you doing?”

I asked from behind, and Kendrick straightened up and turned toward me.

“Hey.”

Then, seemingly used to it now, he greeted me, like my showing up again today was only natural.