ICYM Ch 21

Episode 21

I clicked on the post without much thought and was halfway through reading it when I suddenly realized I wasn’t alone. I quickly hit the back button.

From this angle, he probably couldn’t see my screen, but I still felt strangely nervous, and my nostrils flared involuntarily.

Could he really be the culprit?

At some point, even though I was openly staring, he must’ve been really focused, because his gaze never left the book.

I took a moment to study Kendrick’s face again. I had felt it when he got his haircut, but it was even clearer now. The more dominant someone’s traits, the more striking their appearance tends to be, and he looked unreal as if proving that point.

Not just his pheromones, but his physical traits as an Alpha stood out noticeably.

He was over 190 centimeters tall, with broad shoulders, and even through his clothes, his dense muscles were visible.

There was a beauty to him, but also a definite sense of intimidation.

Like when a predator and prey are classified as the same kind of animal, yet are fundamentally different species altogether.

He’s completely different from me.

If he wanted, just getting close could easily overwhelm those around him.

Because he had never shown me that side of himself, I had let my guard down. But after overhearing that phone call, I realized it for certain.

“And you said the cat seemed hurt after you didn’t go for a few days.”

The words Sunbae had said clung to my mind, refusing to let go.

What if, however unlikely, Kendrick was the culprit?

And what if he thought I wasn’t coming back anymore, and something happened to Coco and Nabi because of it?

Could I really say then that I bore no responsibility, and that only the culprit was to blame?

I knew myself.

I could say that out loud as much as I wanted, but in reality, I wouldn’t be able to believe it.

“Just from what you hear, he sounds like a dominant top, but the way he acts, he’s more like a clueless bottom.”

That’s what my childhood friend had said with a click of the tongue. I didn’t understand what it meant at first and brushed it off, but when I found out later, I got mad.

“Ha…”

I let out a small laugh at the memory.

Even now, my thoughts are still stuck on Kendrick, Coco, and Nabi.

This lingering doubt kept eating away at me. I couldn’t believe how fragile my trust was.

I didn’t want to admit it, but I had no choice. I was anxious.

If that’s the case, shouldn’t I at least set up a small safeguard?

It might be too small to make any real difference, but still, wasn’t it better than doing nothing at all?

Ahem.

I cleared my throat for no reason.

Only after I made a noise did Kendrick’s concentration seem to break. He finally looked away from his book.

The moment I felt his gaze fully land on me, I opened my mouth.

“About Coco and Nabi…”

Kendrick was visibly shaken as if he hadn’t expected me to speak first.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I didn’t stop going to see them. I’ve just been visiting in the mornings lately.”

I wanted him to know that I hadn’t lost interest in Coco and Nabi and that I was still keeping an eye on them.

So if, by any chance, he were to harm them, he’d immediately be identified as the culprit.

At my heavy words, Kendrick looked a little surprised and asked again, “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“…Ah.”

His response was duller than I expected, yet also felt meaningful.

What did that short sound of realization mean? As if he had just come to some understanding.

It was hard to read, and I frowned slightly.

“And also…”

I held onto his gaze, trying to stop his eyes from drifting back to his book. Kendrick responded to my voice and kept his eyes on me.

Truthfully, being alone with him was frightening.

If a dominant Alpha were to release pheromones in this enclosed space, I’d collapse instantly.

If not for that open window over there, I might’ve been completely paralyzed by fear.

No way…

Did he open that window as soon as he arrived on purpose?

There’s no way he knows I’m an Omega… right?

I shook my head, trying to push out that ridiculous thought.

The truth was, the reason I started doubting him wasn’t just because Kendrick Bardi might be part of the mafia, or because Sunbae suspected him.

What truly made me suspicious was that when I retraced our past conversations, I remembered something I had completely forgotten.

I was sure that the first time I mistakenly started suspecting him, Kendrick had mentioned a white cat he fed, that it was injured and he had taken it to a vet.

But after that, I never heard anything about the cat coming back.

He’d said it would be discharged soon, but it had already been over three weeks since Kendrick mentioned it.

“You said there was also a white cat you were feeding back then, remember?”

“Ah, yeah.”

“T-that, that, that cat… What happened to it?”

Why do I keep showing my worst side in front of him?

I stuttered three times, and even then, my voice trembled.

I swallowed dryly.

Even though I was scared, I stared intently at Kendrick, forgetting even to blink.

I needed to see if there was even the slightest change in his expression.

“Th-th-that… cat?”

Kendrick repeated the words like he genuinely didn’t understand.

He didn’t seem to notice that I had stuttered, nor did he show any signs of teasing me. He echoed my words seriously, with a straight face.

Honestly, it would’ve been easier if he had teased me. My neck burned with heat.

“T-the white cat… the one you said you took to the vet back then.”

“Ah.”

“……”

“It got adopted.”

He said it in a plain, matter-of-fact tone as if just stating the truth.

“Adopted?”

“There was someone who got chosen by that cat…”

I’d seen videos like that on YouTube sometimes—cats suddenly choosing people.

But being adopted after staying in a vet’s office didn’t exactly sound like one of those spontaneous moments of being “chosen.”

I wanted to ask more, but the way his sentence trailed off clearly meant he didn’t want to continue the conversation.

And even if I pressed him further, I doubted I’d get the answer I was looking for.

“I see.”

In the end, all I could give was a flat response.

Right then, my washing machine beeped, signaling that the cycle had finished.

Without hesitation, I got up and quickly moved the laundry into the dryer next to it.

Originally, I had planned to stay until the drying cycle was over, but since Kendrick was here, I no longer wanted to stick around.

This was a perfect moment to leave naturally.

Rustle, rustle.

I casually packed the notebook I had taken out back into my backpack and stood up.

I just wish he’d go back to reading his book.

The way his gaze followed my every move was making me uncomfortable.

For some reason, it felt like I needed to give him a reason for why I was leaving.

“Um…”

I couldn’t exactly say, ‘I’m leaving because being around you makes me uncomfortable, bye.’

In the end, I had no choice but to spit out an unnecessary TMI as an excuse.

“…I suddenly need to use the bathroom.”

Surely I could’ve come up with a better excuse than that.

Mortified, I opened the door and rushed out.

I’d come back to grab the dry laundry later, maybe when I come down for dinner.

If I ate quickly, I could probably avoid running into Kendrick.

Before opening the inner door where the stairs were, I spotted Sunbae checking the mail and he noticed me first.

“Hayden.”

“Senior.”

My mind had been elsewhere, so it took me a second to realize and stop walking.

Sunbae glanced in the direction I’d come from and asked, “Were you just coming from the laundry room?”

“Yeah, I had a bunch of laundry piled up.”

“This is the best time, actually. No one’s really around.”

Sunbae let out a small chuckle, saying the laundry room on Sunday evenings was usually a battlefield.

“What were you doing, Senior?”

“I just got back from a jog. I was checking the mail since I’d ordered some university pamphlets.”

“At this odd hour?”

“Huh? Oh, I just felt like going at a different time than usual.”

“Did you run for long?”

“Just a light jog for about an hour.”

Now that I looked again, I noticed Sunbae was wearing shorts, a cap pulled low, and a hoodie over it.

His face was lightly glistening with sweat. He must’ve been running for quite a while.

But for a full hour, he didn’t seem to be sweating that much.

Maybe it’s because the weather’s getting colder?

I thought nothing of it and adjusted the strap of my bag that had slipped off my shoulder.

“I see.”

He spent weekends helping me study, kept up with his own work, sometimes hung out with the potato squad, took care of dorm responsibilities, and made time to exercise?

His intense model-student lifestyle was practically suffocating.

“Shall we head up?”

Sunbae patted my shoulder and casually opened the inner door that led to the stairs. One hand was still tucked into his pocket.

I was a little curious about what he was holding in there, but not enough to ask.

“Yeah.”

“Once I wash up, tell me what you want to do during the mid-term break, before dinner.”

“Huh?”

I had assumed he was just being polite, throwing it out casually. But when I gave him a surprised look, Sunbae frowned slightly, as if disappointed.

“You haven’t thought about it?”

It now sounded like I was the one who hadn’t made time, not him. I quickly explained myself.

“I have thought about it, I just figured you wouldn’t have time.”

After all, the deadline for university application essays was coming up, and I’d heard he was also preparing to retake a subject he hadn’t done well in this year.

“I told you I’d make time, didn’t I?”

His tone came off a bit forceful, which startled me. But then he quickly softened his expression and said again, like it was obvious, ‘As if I wouldn’t.’

“Mm-hmm.”

“And while we’re at it, I’ll help you review your studies a little more.”

I must’ve misunderstood. There’s no way someone as kind as Sunbae would ever be intimidating.

I was probably just on edge after running into Kendrick, and my thoughts were spiraling.

“Okay, then should we do that? How about we meet in the library in 30 minutes?”

His pheromones felt stronger than usual.

Maybe because he’d just exercised, and I was a Beta, so he didn’t bother to restrain it.

“Sure.”

I glanced toward the laundry room.

Even with an extreme-dominant Alpha inside, all I could smell was the fresh, clean scent of detergent.