IDESGI Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was a long night.

It felt like I was walking through pitch-black darkness. I wandered endlessly in the void where not even an inch ahead could be seen.

But the moment you stepped into my life,
light entered the world.

To me, shivering in the cold of midwinter, you were the warm breeze carried by the spring sunlight. Perhaps no words could ever truly explain this—
about you,
about me, loving you.

“Yeoul, I…
I love you.

So much that sometimes even I can’t understand it,
because you shine too brightly.

Even in this moment of death, I…

‘I love you, Yeoul.'”

“No! You can’t die! Ihan! Stay with me!”

Yeoul collapsed onto Ihan’s chest, sobbing desperately. Even as Ihan gasped for breath, blood seeping from his wounds, the sight of Yeoul’s tears pained him—yet he still found Yeoul beautiful.

Yeoul, do you know what they say? That Espers only love their Guides because of the Guiding?

What a joke, right?

I… I, Yeoul…

I didn’t love you because of the Guiding.
You are my life, my reason, the only regret I leave behind in this world.

“You have to live.”

“Stop it. Stop talking already!”

And Yeoul… If there is a next life, then, in that life—
never, ever…

“You must never love me. Do you understand?”

Please, let this wish come true.

Thus, Esper Yoo Ihan took his last breath. His cause of death, ironically…

“Failure to Guide his Imprinted Guide.”

And so, Yoo Ihan’s second life came to an end.

Now, onto the third.

---

Han Yeoul opened his eyes.
He took a breath in a room that was all too familiar.

‘I’m back.’

Yeoul sat up, staring blankly at the empty space beside him.

‘Any moment now, he’ll open that door.’

Three steps forward. One, two, three.

The door swung open with a bang, and a man stepped inside. Nearly 190 cm tall, with a sturdy build, yet somehow wearing an apron tinged with a soft shade of pink. He beamed brightly.

“Yeoul, you’re awake? Breakfast is ready.”

Striding over, he pressed his lips to Yeoul’s forehead. Yeoul stared at him for a long moment, his expression unreadable, before finally speaking.

“Let’s break up.”

“…What?”

The man blinked, as if he had misheard. Yeoul, his voice mechanical, repeated himself.

“Let’s break up.”

“Did you have a nightmare? Like last time? Was it another dream where I cheated on you with another Guide? Yeoul, you know you’re the only one for me.”

“No.”

Yeoul looked at him again. His dark eyes were unwavering, without the slightest hint of hesitation.

“Let’s break up, Ihan.”

---

For a moment, Ihan wondered if Yeoul wasn’t the one having a nightmare—maybe it was him. Just yesterday, everything had been fine. The atmosphere between them had been good, so why…?

‘Was it because I licked him when he said no?’

No, that couldn’t be it. He had liked it. Liked it so much that, in the end, even clear liquid had…

Ihan had no idea what he had done wrong, so he clung to Yeoul desperately. But Yeoul, looking more exhausted than annoyed, weakly pushed him away.

“Don’t make this messy. Let’s end things cleanly. I’ll be the one to leave.”

The voice that had always been warm and affectionate was now cold, unrecognizable. This had to be a nightmare. Convinced of it, Ihan raised a hand and struck his own cheek—hard.

“The sting on my cheek means this isn’t a dream. Are you feeling dizzy? Is there a mental-type Esper nearby? Or did you fall off the bed? Maybe a concussion?”

Yeoul let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“Enough! Cut it out already.”

He shot Ihan a sideways glance, eyeing his now red and swollen cheek with a mix of exasperation and disbelief.

“It’s not a dream. I’m not being controlled by a mental Esper. I don’t have amnesia.”

“Then were you scammed or something? Are you putting on an act to cover it up?”

Yeoul scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Hah. Now that’s a reason I didn’t expect.”

“But it makes sense, doesn’t it?! Just yesterday, you were saying you loved me! There has to be a reason for this. Was it a phishing scam? How much did they take? You know I have money, Yeoul. My money is your money, so why worry about something like that?”

“Ihan—no, Esper Yoo Ihan.”

The stiff formality in Yeoul’s voice made Ihan’s jaw tighten. Yeoul met his gaze with eyes colder than ever.

“I’m breaking up with you because I’m sick of you.”

“Yeoul, we… we just imprinted last month.”

Ihan’s eyes trembled. Flecks of gold flickered in his pale brown irises. His energy wavered, rippling with cracks of instability.

“And now you want to break up with me?”

“Are you scared you’ll die? The imprint made the Guiding efficiency worse, yeah, but if you take meds and sleep with another Guide, you’ll still manage to stabilize. You won’t die.”

Ihan’s face twisted. His golden-tinted eyes burned, flickering like fire.

“You want me to sleep with someone else?”

“If you want to live, yeah.”

“I can’t do that.”

His firm rejection made Yeoul bite the inside of his cheek.

‘Of course. I knew you’d say that.’

That’s why you died. Twice.

So listen, Ihan.

“Don’t hold onto me. I hate things getting messy.”

This time, I’m the one who’s going to die.

Telling you not to love me? Don’t talk nonsense, Ihan.

I failed last time.

But this time—

I’ll die instead of you.

---

A little over two years ago, when the winter winds were still bitterly cold, Ihan and Yeoul fell for each other at first sight.

Ihan believed Yeoul was his Guide.
Yeoul believed Ihan was his Esper.

They saw each other as fate.

An S-class Esper and a C-class Guide—so what? Their overwhelming 99.8% matching rate made up for the difference in rank. The two of them had a happy relationship, and after two years together, they finally imprinted.

But the problem began after the imprinting.

At first, Guiding became slightly less effective. They reassured themselves that it was just a matter of needing more time, nothing serious. But then, at some point, simply holding hands stopped working. No matter how many times they tried, it had no effect.

Then came hugs.
Then kisses.

And before they knew it, only physical intimacy could trigger Guiding—and even that wasn’t enough.

When Guiding completely stopped working, Yeoul convinced Ihan to get their matching rate tested again. They repeated the test over and over, but the results never changed.

“9.98%.”

The worst possible match.

Why did this happen?

Researchers from all over the world worked day and night, but no one could find an answer. Meanwhile, Ihan’s rampage level kept rising.

An imprinted Esper’s matching rate with any other Guide drops below 20%. While it’s still possible to receive Guiding through physical contact, that only applies when the Guide is at least A-rank or higher.

For a C-class Guide with a matching rate below 10%? Guiding was impossible.

Sleepless and tormented, Yeoul begged Ihan to seek Guiding from another Guide. But Ihan got angry.

The same Ihan who always wagged his tail like a loyal dog before Yeoul—this time, he cried as he lashed out.

Because to him, that was no different than telling him to sleep with someone else.
And that was something he could never accept.

Even with the government stepping in, even with Yeoul pleading over and over, Ihan refused to receive Guiding from anyone else.

As his rampage level rose higher and higher, the government forbade him from using his powers altogether.

Then, the day came.

A monster appeared.
It attacked Yeoul.

And Ihan—
broke the rules and used his powers.

His rampage level soared past its limit.

Before he could lose control and reduce the city to ruins, he swallowed a vial of poison—one he must have prepared beforehand.

No one knew when.

Ihan died.

And Yeoul?

What do you think he did?

He walked straight into a Gate.

Fully aware—
That he wouldn’t come back.

He thought he had died.

But when he closed his eyes and opened them again, he had gone back—six months into the past.

Yeoul was relieved that Ihan was alive. This time, he swore he wouldn’t make the same mistake.

If the problem started because of the imprint, then all he had to do was break it.

And the only way to break an imprint—

Was for one of them to die.

So Yeoul tried to die. Over and over again.

But every time, Ihan saved him.

“Yeoul, we love each other. If something is hurting you, tell me.”

But Yeoul stayed silent.

So Ihan hired a mental Esper under the pretense of “depression treatment”—forcing Yeoul to confess the truth.

The moment he found out Yeoul was trying to die because of him, Ihan didn’t hesitate. He threw himself into a Gate and recklessly burned through his energy.

His intent was obvious.

He wanted to die first.

So that Yeoul wouldn’t sacrifice himself for him.

Even as he lay dying, Ihan worried—

What if Yeoul returns again? What if he makes the same choice?

“You must never love me.”

That was Ihan’s final wish.

He had poured out his love in his dying breath—
And then told Yeoul not to love him.

Hah. Was he joking?

Yeoul died again.

This time, with no Ihan to stop him, he thought it would be easy.

But Ihan had entrusted Yeoul to the Espers closest to him before he died.

They interfered. A lot.

Even so—

Yeoul finally succeeded in dying.

The third time he opened his eyes.

This time, failure was not an option.

If he wanted to save Ihan—
He had to abandon him.

He had to break him so thoroughly, so cruelly, that Ihan would never look back. That he would be so disgusted, so repulsed, that he would never love Yeoul again.

Yeoul would become the villain in Ihan’s life.

The worst one he would ever face.

And to do that—

“Let’s break up.”

It had to start with leaving him.