IDESGI Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Yushin saw Ihan sitting at the desk and once again found himself admiring the man’s looks. With glasses perched on his nose and his long legs crossed while reading a book, Ihan gave off an intellectual yet sexy vibe.

Yushin knocked on the desk and spoke to him.

“It’s almost time for shift change. Get ready.”

“Is it that time already?”

“You didn’t even notice how time passed? What kind of book has you so into it?”

Yushin squinted as he read the title of the book Ihan was holding.

“Special Legal Regulations for Government Espers? Why are you reading this?”

“I was wondering what kind of disciplinary action an Esper would face if they ‘accidentally’ killed another Esper.”

At Ihan’s flat response, Yushin looked horrified and demanded.

“What? No way—you’re not serious! Hey! How would that even happen! Even if you kill someone by accident, it’s still involuntary manslaughter! You could end up exiled outside the zone!”

“Or get killed by a monster. If someone dies to a monster I ‘accidentally’ let slip, who’s going to say anything?”

Yushin quickly caught on to why Ihan was acting like this and sighed, shaking his head.

“You’re talking about Esper Yoon Geon, right? He’s S-Class too. You think he’d go down that easy to a monster? Why are you freaking out again?”

Ihan closed the book and placed his glasses on top of it. Then he rubbed his eyes tiredly. In a dejected voice, he muttered gloomily,

“Yeoul wants to break up.”

“He’s been saying that for over a month now.”

Ihan slammed his fist on the desk and gritted his teeth.

“And the reason is so fucking ridiculous I can’t even say it without getting pissed. He says it’s because of that bastard Yoon Geon.”

“Seriously? Weren’t those two practically family? So much for the idea of friendship between Espers and Guides…”

Ihan glared at him, eyes blazing.

“Wanna die? You wanna lose our friendship too?”

Yushin immediately changed his tone.

“No, no—of course it’s possible. Totally possible.”

Ihan slammed the desk again with his fist.

“Fuck, there’s no such thing as friendship between a Guide and an Esper. I should’ve crushed that bastard a long time ago.”

“You literally just said there was, you psycho…”
Yushin scanned him up and down with a look of irritation. Ihan ignored him and muttered to himself.

“Ha… Right. Outside the zone… Maybe it’s not such a bad idea.”

Hearing that, Yushin practically jumped up and started yelling.

“Are you crazy? There are unidentified gates all over the place out there! And what are you gonna do when a gate suddenly opens? How the hell are you gonna handle that?!”

“There’s one place. No risk of a new gate and safe from monsters.”

“What are you talking abou—no way. Don’t tell me…”

“The First Land.”

Ihan smiled faintly.

“That’s where I’d like to go.”

---

Yeoul was on his way back from buying a latte at the center’s café when he ran into Yoon Geon. He tried to pretend he didn’t see him and turn around to escape, but Yoon Geon called out.

“Han Yeoul, where are you going?”

Biting his lip slightly, Yeoul awkwardly turned around and forced a smile.

“Hyung! Fancy running into you here. Haha… Have you had lunch?”

“Not yet. Is that your meal?”

Frowning disapprovingly, Yoon Geon gestured with his chin at the latte. Yeoul sheepishly hid the cup behind his back.

“I was just grabbing something quick… I’ll eat something properly later.”

“Come with me. I’ll buy you a meal.”

“No, really, I’m fine right now.”

“Still using ‘I’m fine’ as a habit?”

Yeoul clamped his mouth shut. Yoon Geon gave a slight nod and started walking ahead.

“Come on.”

He led him to a gukbap restaurant. Yeoul’s stomach had been feeling uneasy, so at least something with broth was a bit of relief. He held back a sigh and picked up his spoon.

“Aren’t you putting in perilla seed powder?”

“Sorry?”

Geon pushed a small jar toward Yeoul.

“You always put this in your gukbap.”

“Oh… I don’t do that anymore. I’ve come to like it cleaner. Guess my tastes are changing with age.”

“You’re still a kid.”

“Do you put it in, hyung? I thought you never did.”

“I brought it for you. I don’t put it in.”

Without saying more, Yoon Geon quietly began eating. Yeoul scooped up some broth with his spoon and blew on it gently before taking a sip. The warm liquid flowed down his throat.

“This place is pretty good.”

Yeoul drank the soup like he meant it, as if enjoying it. In truth, the taste didn’t matter. Everything tasted bland these days anyway. But he tried his best not to show it, pretending to eat with gusto. Still, Yoon Geon, as if seeing right through him, spoke softly.

“Eat, even if you don’t feel like it. If you keep substituting meals like that, your stomach’s going to get wrecked.”

“…It’s good. I mean it.”

“Yeah, sure it is.”

Yeoul saw Geon scoff and keep eating, and quietly put his own spoon down.

“People’s tastes change. I don’t even put perilla powder in my gukbap anymore. So maybe your feelings could change too, over time.”

“You’re not my taste.”

“What?”

Geon set down his spoon and looked Yeoul straight in the eyes.

“If that’s what you were trying to say—then just know this: you’re not my type.”

Relieved, Yeoul let out a small breath.

“Oh, I see… I thought… Guess it was just a misunderstanding…”

“It’s not about taste, so it won’t change. If my feelings were that easy to change, I wouldn’t have said anything in the first place.”

“Hyung…”

As Yeoul’s expression turned serious, Geon reached out and smoothed the frown on his forehead with a finger.

“Don’t pour rice into the soup—just drink the broth. You always get indigestion.”

Yeoul glanced sideways at Geon, who was calmly continuing his meal. He stirred the soup with his spoon and brought it to his mouth, but just before swallowing, his stomach turned. He ended up putting the spoon down.

“I really can’t eat. I’m sorry.”

“It’s that bad? Then maybe porridge instead…”

“Hyung, I… actually don’t like pork. So I’m not a fan of soondae gukbap either.”

Yeoul had bowed his head but slowly lifted it, eyes fixed on Geon’s quietly wavering gaze as he continued.

“When I was in Zone 5, I thought I liked pork. Everyone there was a meat lover, after all. Sure, we ate beef sometimes too, but it was usually pork cutlets or stir-fried pork… stuff like that.”

Yeoul lowered his gaze with a faint smile, then spoke in a quiet murmur.

“But you know, hyung… being with Ihan made me realize something. I don’t actually like pork. Back then, it didn’t matter what I was eating. As long as someone was beside me, that was enough.”

He chuckled lightly at the thought of Ihan. Yoo Ihan had taken him to every popular restaurant imaginable, cooked all kinds of dishes for him, and picked up on even the slightest shifts in his expression—eventually figuring out exactly what Yeoul liked.

“Being with Ihan, I came to understand my own preferences. The things I like. Ihan’s good at figuring those out. He picks up on what I enjoy… even better than I do. He knows me better than I know myself.”

Just thinking of the name Yoo Ihan made his heart tremble. His heart responded to that name alone. He had never, not once, felt that way about anyone else.

“It was only Ihan. The only one who made me believe I could show him my whole self and still be loved. It was Ihan—only Ihan.”

Yeoul cared for Geon as family. That hadn’t changed. Which is why this—this confession—was his way of respecting someone who was important to him.

“So, hyung. I like Ihan. I love him. That feeling won’t change, even if I die.”

He was going to die soon anyway. No matter how sincere someone’s love for him was, it would only end with Yoon Geon getting hurt. If he couldn’t pretend not to know, then this was the least cruel way to handle it.

“So I’m going to turn you down. Your feelings.”

Yeoul had expected Geon to ask, Then why are you breaking up with Yoo Ihan if you like him so much? He was even prepared to answer that. But Geon said something completely unexpected.

“If you don’t like pork, get the seolleongtang. They serve that here too.”

“…Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m breaking up with him?”

“I’m not asking.”

“Why not?”

Geon stared at the confused Yeoul and slowly set his spoon down on the table.

“The reason doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that you’re breaking up with Yoo Ihan.”

His eyes were just as warm as always. That normal, steady gaze made Yeoul feel uncomfortable—because it meant he had always looked at him like that, even before now.

“I can’t return your feelings, hyung.”

“If my feelings could be dropped that easily, I wouldn’t have come this far.”

Yoon Geon raised his hand, calmly calling over the server to order seolleongtang. Until the new dish arrived, an awkward silence settled between them. Only when the food was served did he speak again.

“Eat.”

“Hyung, I…”

Geon stirred his now-cold soup and continued eating, speaking plainly.

“Stick to the plan. Don’t avoid me just because you feel guilty—use me properly.”

“…I’m really desperate. That’s why I couldn’t turn down your offer.”

“Good. Do that. I came to you on my own feet to be used.”

Yeoul said nothing, simply staring at him. Geon casually gestured with his eyes.

“Eat. It’s getting cold.”

“…You’re an idiot too, hyung.”

To Yeoul’s bitter mutter, Geon replied softly,

“Yeah. I realized that a little too late.”

Still looking at Geon, Yeoul finally picked up his spoon again. The seolleongtang just didn’t compare to the ones in Zone 1.

After even packing dessert for him, Geon walked Yeoul back to his dorm.

“Get inside.”

Just as Geon was about to turn and leave, Yeoul stepped in front of him and hesitated before asking,

“Is Eunha hyung still at the Zone 5 lab?”

“What for?”

“I want to know why our match rate went up. And… I need Eunha hyung’s help with something personal.”

Geon listened quietly, then paused in thought before narrowing his brows curiously.

“But weren’t you and Kim Eunha—”

“Yeah. Things are a bit rough between us.”

“A bit?”

At Geon’s skeptical look, Yeoul averted his eyes and mumbled,

“…A lot.”