IDSEGI Chapter 100

Chapter 100

On the third day after Yoo Ihan arrived in Zone 5, even the Espers who had initially been defiant toward him had all been broken.

After the grueling dawn training, the exhausted Espers staggered into the cafeteria. They all looked like newborn fawns—not in a cute or lovable way, but because every single one of them was trembling in the legs.

In Zone 1, the staff numbers were large enough that the Esper building and the Guide building were separate. Unless they were on the same team, there weren’t many chances for Espers and Guides to cross paths. This meant Ihan’s unethical behavior rarely became known to Guides. On top of that, the tightly disciplined Zone 1 Espers never spoke a word about his true nature.

But this was the Zone 5 Center—a place so small it didn’t even separate teams. In other words, Yeoul had to face the Espers shredded by Ihan’s training at every mealtime.

Up until the second day, the Espers had still shot him sharp, resentful looks. But now, they all kept their heads buried in their trays, mechanically shoveling food into their mouths. This change came after Ihan’s declaration the previous evening.

‘Any bastard who makes eye contact with Yeoul will get one-on-one special training with me.’

It was essentially a warning not to even look at him. Who knew “one-on-one special training” could be such terrifying words? The Zone 5 Espers had learned a kind of unfairness and fear they had never experienced in their lives.

Sitting beside Yeoul, fellow Zone 5 Guide Yoo Hee-won nudged him.

“Look at the Espers. They’re all practically dead.”

“……”

“I know that look. Baby alpacas look exactly like that when they’re just born.”

“R-really?”

“They must’ve been working their legs hard. Looks good.”

If Zone 1 had a head full of flowers, Zone 5 had Yoo Hee-won. Because of him, Yeoul had lived under the impression that he himself was perceptive. In truth, it was just that Hee-won was so oblivious that Yeoul looked sharper in comparison.

“That’s not it, Hee-won.”

When Yeoul gently corrected him, Hee-won tilted his head with an innocent look.

“Then why?”

“They’re just worn out from training.”

“Then that’s even better! They’re working so hard at training. I’m telling you, people in Zone 5 all live such diligent lives.”

His smile was pure and warm as sunlight. Yeoul looked at him with pity, like someone with dirt on his own hands pitying a man with dung on his.

‘Hee-won really has no sense at all.’

If Eunha had been here, he’d probably have told him to worry about himself first. Thankfully, Yeoul kept his thoughts to himself.

“Hang in there today, Yeoul! See you later.”

After finishing his meal, Hee-won left for the guiding room with a bright smile. So cheerful. Watching his back, Yeoul felt a warm fondness. Hee-won was the same age as him but three cohorts ahead, and had been the first Guide Yeoul befriended when he was assigned to Zone 5.

Hee-won was a truly pure and kind person. Yeoul had really liked his untainted brightness. But when Yeoul had said he was leaving for Zone 1, Hee-won’s attitude had turned 180 degrees.

‘How could you leave me behind?’

In truth, most of Zone 5 treated him as a traitor for going to Zone 1. They had lived and worked together in a small team for five years, so the sense of betrayal was especially strong—and the criticism all the harsher.

Everyone saw him as a turncoat. Just the fact of transferring to Zone 1 had cost him much. He’d lost brothers who felt like family, and close colleagues.

But it had been worth it—so long as he could be by Ihan’s side.

Now that time had rewound, it wasn’t something he regretted, but he realized it could at least be an excuse to refuse Ihan. I don’t want to leave the zone that’s my home. I don’t want to be a traitor.

That kind of excuse might work. Even if Ihan didn’t immediately accept it, it wasn’t something he couldn’t understand. Moving between zones wasn’t a simple matter, especially in a closed-off place like Zone 5. It wasn’t just about changing residences—it meant accepting the stigma of being branded a traitor.

If he used that excuse, Ihan would probably hesitate.

‘If Ihan asks me out, I’ll use that excuse.’

Yeoul waited for Ihan to confess to him again. This time, he would reject him properly—coldly. But despite his resolve, nearly a week passed without Ihan making any confession.

“Yeoul-ah, have you eaten? If not, want to eat with me? I’ll cook for you. Invite me over just once.”

Like a dog wagging its tail, Ihan trailed after him with his playful talk. In his previous life, Ihan had once used the same excuse to visit Yeoul’s home—and had completely devoured him then. He wasn’t about to fall for the same trick twice.

“I’ve eaten.”

“You don’t mean that latte in your hand, do you?”

Ihan cast a suspicious glance at the coffee he was holding. Yeoul was dumbfounded. What did he take him for—someone who lived on liquids alone?

“I had a meal earlier with my fellow Guide. This is just dessert.”

“Really? Good job.”

The corners of Ihan’s eyes softened. Every time he smiled at him like that, Yeoul’s chest tightened.

‘Ihan used to smile a lot.’

In front of others, Ihan often wore a formal smile, but in front of Yeoul, his lover, he had always smiled brightly. Thinking back over the past few days since they’d reunited, it would be faster to count the moments when Ihan hadn’t smiled than when he had.

‘Come to think of it, in my last life, all I ever did was make Ihan cry.’

In his third life, Yeoul had made Ihan cry over and over by telling him they should break up.

“Let’s break up.”

“I’m tired of you, so let’s break up.”

“Don’t hold onto me. I hate clingy people.”

Before Yeoul’s cold words, Ihan had knelt, begged, and cried. All he’d done was make him cry. Still, he wasn’t going to say sorry—because Yeoul had cried just as much because of Ihan.

This time, let’s not repeat that. Let’s not cry and make a scene over breaking up.

Better yet, let’s be in a relationship where there’s no need to break up at all.

He loved Ihan—who could deny their own heart? Ihan had loved him, too. But not now. At least, for now, Yeoul could deny Ihan’s love. The time they’d built up, the memories, were all gone. The proof of that past love existed only in Yeoul’s memory.

If, two months from now, I can’t guide you anymore, Ihan…

That would be far too sad.

In two months, hand-guiding would no longer be possible. And even if it were, they’d still have to wait another two years to see if the match rate truly didn’t drop. Either way, Ihan had nothing to gain from being involved with him.

Whether I die in two months or in two years…

I want to be remembered as nothing more than someone you felt a little sorry for. If the bonding wasn’t the cause, and there’s no problem even after two years, Ihan—that would be the best possible outcome. But even if you don’t know it, I do.

I know exactly what ending misfortune ultimately brought us.

So I always have to be prepared for the worst. Misfortune always goes beyond expectations to show you the worst of the worst.

In this life, I’m going to protect you—no matter what happens.

“What exactly is it that Yoo Ihan-ssi wants from me?”

The coffee in his hand grew cold as Yeoul’s fingers chilled. The words he needed to say scraped around in his mouth.

“Are you doing all this just because you want to get guided by me once?”

The deliberately cold words struck Ihan’s heart. He bit his lower lip briefly, then forced a smile.

“That’s not it. Don’t think that way.”

Hearing the gentle, soothing tone paired with a strained smile made Yeoul’s chest tighten. He masked the ache with mockery.

“So… does that mean you don’t need me to guide you?”

Before Ihan’s lips could move, Yeoul gave him a full, scornful smile.

“Why can’t you say it? You do want it, don’t you? The guiding.”

“It’s not that I don’t need it. But that’s not the only reason. I’ve fallen for you.”

His words were edged, as if he was a little angry now too. Yeoul bared his own blade, laced with ridicule.

“What part of me? Wasn’t it my face you said was your type? What, do you think my body’s your type too? If you’re doing this because you want to sleep with me, then… I’ll let you.”

Ihan’s face twisted with pain as he stepped back.

“Stop it.”

“Stop what? We’ve never even started anything.”

Yeoul gave a short, derisive laugh and looked up at him with a tilted gaze. Ihan avoided his cold eyes and started to turn away.

“I’m going first. I have training.”

But Yeoul caught his wrist first and pulled him into the nearby bathroom.

Once inside a stall with the door locked, he shoved Ihan down toward the toilet.

“What are you doing?”

Ihan’s eyes darted in confusion. Yeoul pushed his fingers into Ihan’s mouth and ground out the words like he was biting them.

“Shut up.”