IDSEGI Chapter 76

Chapter 76

Han Yeoul was sitting in the Zone 5 Guide Office when a call came in.

A dry, emotionless voice came through the receiver.

Guide Han Yeoul, please wait in Room 1. Esper Yoon Geon will be back soon.

Yes, understood.

After receiving the call from the office staff, Yeoul headed to Room 1.

It had been three months since Ihan died. A lot had happened in that time. Yeon-oh kept his word that he would no longer guide Yoon Geon and declared that he would transfer to Zone 1. Normally, permission wouldn’t have been granted, but Yeoul agreed to an exchange of personnel, so Yeon-oh was reassigned to Zone 1 and Yeoul to Zone 5.

Yeoul once again became Yoon Geon’s primary Guide.

As Yeoul waited in the room, Yoon Geon opened the door a few minutes later and stepped inside. Seeing the slightly tired expression on his face, Yeoul gave a faint smile.

You’re here, hyung?

Yoon Geon frowned as his eyes fell on Yeoul’s thin arm. Without warning, he asked,

Have you eaten?

Yeoul avoided his gaze and replied,

Let’s guide you first.

Have dinner with me after we’re done.

Alright. Sit down first.

When Yoon Geon sat on the sofa, Yeoul took his hand. The flow of guiding energy was faster than before, and the process went smoothly. It felt almost the same as when he had guided Ihan.

Before imprinting with Ihan, when their match rate was 99.8%.

Now that the imprint with Ihan had been broken, his match rate with Yoon Geon had returned to the original 89%. He didn’t know the reason, but guiding was faster now than it had been back then, even at the same rate.

Eunha had said he would continue researching it, but Yeoul no longer cared. Even if he found out, it would be useless now.

Yoo Ihan was dead.

Yeoul let go of Yoon Geon’s hand and recorded the numbers on the tablet.

You’re stabilized now. How’s your body feeling?

Light.

That’s good. You’ve been busy getting called to different zones lately.

After Yoo Ihan’s death, the whole country was in an uproar. Fortunately, the gate occurrence rate suddenly dropped nationwide, so the chaos wasn’t as bad as expected. And Yoon Geon was still here. He traveled around dealing with difficult gates, filling part of the void Ihan left behind.

But if gates started bursting open one after another again, the nation would surely fall into crisis. For now, they had slowed down, but gates could open at any time.

Headquarters rushed to put countermeasures in place and reorganized the zones. The world without its hero was still managing to keep turning. For now, at least.

* * *

Yeoul had planned to go home with Yoon Geon, but the Center Director called him away, so Yoon Geon stepped out for a bit. While waiting for him, Yeoul organized the work for tomorrow in advance.

Maybe I should grab some coffee.

His eyes felt heavy with fatigue. Deciding to put off the paperwork, he got up from his seat and headed to the break room. Just as he was about to turn the corner, he heard people talking.

When Yoo Ihan was gone, it felt like something terrible would happen right away, but even though the death rate has gone up overall, we’ve been managing somehow.

You never know. Gates have been strangely rare in our country lately. If the numbers spike again, there’ll be chaos.

Still, there’s hope in the fact that we’re okay for now. When the news of Yoo Ihan’s death first broke, we all thought the country was doomed. I heard rumors he died trying to save Guide Han Yeoul.

Unlike the man running his mouth, the employee sitting next to him lowered his voice.

Hey, watch your mouth. What if Esper Yoon Geon hears? He’s scary when he’s mad. Remember that Guide who mocked Han Yeoul last time and got exiled after being disciplined?

The man gave a sharp snort at that.

Serves them right. What good feelings could anyone have for someone who abandoned Zone 5 only to come back? The other Espers don’t say it out loud, but they don’t like being guided by Han Yeoul either.

So right now, it’s probably just Esper Han Hyunho and Esper Yoon Geon you’re handling, right?

Man, you’ve got it good. People really do need to pick the right side. Yoo Ihan dies, and you go crawling back to Esper Yoon Geon. Impressive, really.

Even after three months, Yeoul was still a perfect subject for gossip. With gates slowing down, there was nothing more entertaining than chatting during downtime—especially if it was about a Guide who had just lost his Esper.

Silently listening to the talk behind his back, Yeoul turned to leave the way he came.

Behind him stood Yoon Geon. Before Yeoul could stop him, Yoon Geon strode forward.

What do you think you’re doing here?

E-Esp… Esper Yoon Geon!

Ahem, well, I still have work to finish, so I’ll be going.

The group scattered to avoid Yoon Geon’s cold, dangerous glare. When the area grew quiet, Yoon Geon approached Yeoul and grabbed his wrist.

Let’s go.

Hyung, you don’t have to do that.

It’s not because of you. I just don’t like them.

The voice was blunt but carried a quiet warmth that was pleasant to hear. Yeoul, after showing a brief troubled expression, soon smiled faintly and followed him obediently.

Let’s go. To your place.

…Alright.

Since coming to Zone 5, Yeoul had moved into Yoon Geon’s house. He had intended to find his own place, but Yoon Geon strongly opposed it. Besides, most primary partners lived together, so it was a natural decision.

It had been over two months since they started living together, yet Yeoul still called it hyung’s house. It seemed he didn’t think of it as his own, but Yoon Geon didn’t bother correcting him.

Yoon Geon decided to be patient and wait for Yeoul—to see him smile brightly again. Not the weary, faint smile he wore now, but the kind of radiant smile that looked truly happy.

That evening, they brought home abalone porridge and ate together. The menu was chosen because Yeoul’s stomach had gotten worse lately. He could hardly eat anything other than porridge, and even then, every bite was a struggle.

After just five spoonfuls, Yeoul put down his spoon.

Sorry, hyung. I can’t eat anymore.

You really can’t? I told you, eating too little might bring on stomach cramps again.

I’m sorry. It’s bad to leave food… but I left it again.

Seeing Yeoul force a smile, Yoon Geon pulled the bowl toward himself.

Don’t worry. I’ll take the punishment for you.

Without hesitation, Yoon Geon began eating the porridge Yeoul had barely touched. Normally, he would never eat something someone else had already eaten from—but with Yeoul, it was different. He could accept anything from him.

Thank you. I’ll do the dishes.

No, just go rest.

I feel like I’m just freeloading if I don’t do anything. Let me at least wash up.

Every time Yoon Geon heard Yeoul’s self-deprecating words, his chest tightened. Suppressing his emotions, he patted Yeoul’s head.

…Alright. I’ll let you.

He thought it might be better to give him tasks, if it could ease his guilt even a little.

After finishing dinner and the dishes, Yeoul said he would bathe first and went into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and leaned over the toilet.

Urgh!

Nothing much came up—he hadn’t eaten enough. He’d been holding back the nausea for a while, struggling to keep it in. Since he knew Yoon Geon would worry, he hid it from him.

No matter what he ate, he couldn’t digest it. Even water left him feeling stuffed and blocked, as if he were choking. Vomiting had become part of his daily life.

Sitting with his head resting against the toilet tank, Yeoul let out a faint, blurry laugh.

Haha…

Ihan-ah. I’m living. See? Look. I’m breathing. Like you said, even if I’m unhappy, I’m living.

When he flushed the toilet, the emotions mixed with the bits of food were swept away. Every day felt like he was gasping for air, as if living in a high-altitude place. Even though he had spent his whole life in sadness before meeting Ihan, the pain of losing him never became any easier.

It would probably hurt forever.

Still, I’ll keep living. Because you asked me to.

He endured another day. How many had it been now? There was no meaning in counting the days anymore. For Yeoul, only winter remained in his seasons.

Yoon Geon, who had quietly watched Yeoul go into the bathroom, stood in front of the door. As expected, he heard the sound of vomiting. Couldn’t digest again.

No matter how much he tried to feed him at each meal, Yeoul never managed to keep the food down.

He pretended not to notice that Yeoul was secretly throwing up to avoid worrying him. Instead, he just tried harder to feed him. The porridge grew paler and more watery, but Yeoul still threw it up every single day.

He sought advice from doctors, read all sorts of books, but nowhere did it say how to digest grief.

If you’re going to be unhappy, then be unhappy by my side, Yeoul…

But still, I want you to be happy.

He wanted to make Yeoul happy. But how long would it take?

After Ihan’s death, Yoon Geon had gotten another chance—but Yeoul had only grown more miserable.

How can I make you happy?

Listening to the sound of water pouring from the shower, Yoon Geon sank to the floor.

The world without its hero was quieter than expected, but
the world of Yeoul, who had lost his lover, had crumbled. Watching it happen burned Yoon Geon’s heart.

It was merely a life of survival, its only meaning being to keep Ihan’s last wish.

The pale moonlight shone on the house they stayed in, but neither of them felt its glow. Through the night, the darkness only deepened.